The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #224
al in laSubmit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. (Maximum five entrys per person, 25 words per caption.)
WINNER
"How long am I expected to stay at Flight Delay Training Camp before you let me go to the airport?"--RichardH
.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Is it Haiti in here, or is it just me?"-- Dex
.
"The aliens left only the 27 of us alive. Somebody fuck somebody with working ovaries."--Glenn
"As Moses' attorney I implore you to let his people go...or at least go to the bathroom."-- Rob
"Worst. Orgy. Ever." --Austin D
NOTE: For additional Honorable Mentions (including Anti-Judge Anti-Captons) and Judge's Comments on all the winning entrys go here.
Comments
We still have not succeeded in finding, Waldo. However, each of these people has at one time or another been Number 2 in Waldo's organization.
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 11, 2010 8:10 AM
(Please ignore the comma after "finding")
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 11, 2010 8:12 AM
"I'm sorry but Al posted winners and the new contest promptly. Any captions about hanging around waiting for the results are just not going to work.
(Was that too long? Do you think he'll reject it? Probably he'll make some snide comment about how many captions I submitted. God, I hate this contest)"
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 11, 2010 8:16 AM
"If I wasn't so tired, I get up and stomp the smile off this guy's face."
Posted by: David | January 11, 2010 8:19 AM
"I'm not sure that an office in the diamond district is the best hiding place from the Nazis."
Posted by: David | January 11, 2010 8:23 AM
"They're not leaving until you provide them all with chairs."
Posted by: Rob | January 11, 2010 8:28 AM
"I have a message from the black people. They want to come and see this."
Posted by: Joshua | January 11, 2010 8:56 AM
"I'm.... speaking.... very ..... slowly..... because.... alinla..... is.... insisting.... I.... adhere..... to.... a.... twenty-five..... word.... limit...."
Posted by: Richard H | January 11, 2010 9:04 AM
"How long am I expected to stay at Flight Delay Training Camp before you let me go to the airport?"
Posted by: Richard H | January 11, 2010 9:08 AM
"I know you advertised this as God's Waiting Room, but I was really hoping to move to Florida."
Posted by: Richard H | January 11, 2010 9:10 AM
"I came back for my sock."
Posted by: Richard H | January 11, 2010 9:11 AM
"Of course I'm interested in becoming part of your dynamic team of highly motivated self-starters."
Posted by: Richard H | January 11, 2010 9:13 AM
"So, Dunworthy, my clients are entitled to a hearing discussing the matter of their health benefits being eliminated merely three months after wage reductions of nearly ANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! REJECTED!!!!!
EXCEEDS TWENTY-FIVE WORD LIMIT.
Posted by: Rob | January 11, 2010 9:34 AM
Why do I keep feeling like I'm a character in a Luis Bunuel movie?
Posted by: Dana Nau | January 11, 2010 10:09 AM
"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to lie"
Posted by: Celeste | January 11, 2010 10:55 AM
"I am executor for Mrs. McCave. When she died, her will left everything to 'Dave'. We're gonna be here awhile."
Posted by: Rich Lather | January 11, 2010 11:09 AM
Sir, I submit that my obvious lack of effort should make me the winner of your "acting out a synonym for 'indolent' contest".
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 11, 2010 11:19 AM
Just because the fed increased scrutiny on our credit-default swaps doesn't mean you have to start acting like government employees.
Posted by: LK | January 11, 2010 11:31 AM
This certainly is a bleak house.
Posted by: Charles | January 11, 2010 11:40 AM
"Shouldn't we start jumping out the window eventually?"
Posted by: Francis | January 11, 2010 11:42 AM
"I believe I speak for all assembled: ...ahem...The hours here are obscene."
Posted by: Kathy H | January 11, 2010 12:07 PM
"So, Mr. District Attorney Vance, we simply want to know, who stays and who gets the ol' heave-ho?"
Posted by: Tim H | January 11, 2010 12:10 PM
"May I suggest that, as a hedge against inflation, we pool our resources and buy a shitload of Lotto tickets?"
Posted by: Kathy H | January 11, 2010 12:13 PM
"To save the taxpayers' money, I think that they should take the census of this room and then simply extrapolate."
Posted by: Tim H | January 11, 2010 12:17 PM
"Tell that old guy with the beard and cane to stop staring at me."
Posted by: Leo T. | January 11, 2010 12:19 PM
"Why the hell can't a couple of airplanes hit this place?"
Posted by: Dickey | January 11, 2010 12:21 PM
Next time have the carpets cleaned on Sunday, when the office is closed.
Posted by: Roger Kaputnik | January 11, 2010 12:25 PM
Man, you look like shit! All of you!
Posted by: Optimus Sub-Prime | January 11, 2010 12:30 PM
It's a FLASHMOB, Jenkins. Get with it!
Posted by: Roger Kaputnik | January 11, 2010 12:31 PM
That concludes our meeting of the Jonestown Reenactment Society. Next
year, we'll take it outdoors.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 11, 2010 2:25 PM
Enjoy. The ruffies will have them out for hours.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 11, 2010 2:38 PM
"I'm Spartacus."
Posted by: dwilk | January 11, 2010 2:41 PM
"This is the best Cirque du Soleil after-party yet!"
Posted by: Beth | January 11, 2010 2:49 PM
"I think they forgot to kill us after we got escorted off Flight 93.
Can you say "Shibumi"?
Posted by: Sarah | January 11, 2010 2:53 PM
"This place sucks."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 11, 2010 3:46 PM
"Sir, I don't want to come off anal-rententive and all, but I believe that picture is crooked."
Posted by: Kathy H | January 11, 2010 4:05 PM
"The aliens left only the 27 of us alive. Somebody fuck somebody with working ovaries."
Posted by: Glenn | January 11, 2010 4:27 PM
"OK, everyone in the control group please stand-up...because you can...because everyone in the treatment group is apparently dead."
Posted by: Trixie | January 11, 2010 4:31 PM
"Who the hell farted?"
Posted by: Celeste | January 11, 2010 4:32 PM
"Next case, Holmes: Getting these people out of a two-dimensional caption."
Posted by: Grant | January 11, 2010 5:34 PM
"The protesters, that I represent, demand that you allow them to protest or they will continue lay down and DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!"
Posted by: Grant | January 11, 2010 5:38 PM
Sure, they're cute when they're little...
Posted by: Lhyzz | January 11, 2010 5:39 PM
"I don't know, I think they're supposed to be businesspeople."
Posted by: Lhyzz | January 11, 2010 5:41 PM
"Any one up for one more game of musical chairs?"
Posted by: Grant | January 11, 2010 5:43 PM
"Good God! There's enough lazy, fat, white people in here to start a Legislature."
Posted by: Grant | January 11, 2010 5:49 PM
"I'm Don Fucking Draper; you're all going be screwed, fired, or both before I go home tonight."
Posted by: Rich Lather | January 11, 2010 5:51 PM
Post your caption here.
Posted by: dwilk | January 11, 2010 6:26 PM
Did you ever stop to take a moment to notice that there are 25 people in here, including you and me? Most of them look sick and disheveled. Also, someone has hung their laundry.
Posted by: Michael L. | January 11, 2010 6:53 PM
"This is what happens when I let you assholes judge the Anti-Cap Contest?"
Posted by: m hartman | January 11, 2010 8:30 PM
We're going to need more help if you want to catch up on the embalming.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 11, 2010 10:12 PM
They all exceeded the 5 caption limit. You still want 'em castrated?
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 11, 2010 10:49 PM
Fire Drill!
Posted by: Mike | January 11, 2010 11:07 PM
The towers here can't be fully seen. Because of the fog.
Posted by: Mike | January 11, 2010 11:09 PM
Maybe if we were on a little island this would be funny.
Posted by: Mike | January 11, 2010 11:13 PM
no one is leaving until i find out who tilted my picture.
Posted by: Amy E | January 11, 2010 11:30 PM
"We've got nuthin' since Will Ferrell left."
Posted by: Dex | January 11, 2010 11:55 PM
"I didn't know the Teamsters represented office workers."
Posted by: NAMBY | January 12, 2010 12:09 AM
"When you said your organization was like a family, I didn't know you were referring to the Lehman Brothers!"
Posted by: Steve_O | January 12, 2010 12:56 AM
"You think this is bad? I know a family of seven forced to live in a laundromat!"
Posted by: Steve_O | January 12, 2010 1:02 AM
"I told you not to dilute the cyanide."
Posted by: m hartman | January 12, 2010 2:17 AM
Look, I earned this seat, and I'm not relinquishing it to anyone, no matter what you say.
Posted by: Fluffy | January 12, 2010 2:40 AM
"Okay, I think I'm supposed to be interviewing for this job, and all those people who used to do it are inebriated or dead, right?"
Posted by: Zeke | January 12, 2010 9:37 AM
"The meeting of the editorial board of the Oxford English Dictionary shall come to order. First order of business: "Negro."
Posted by: tim | January 12, 2010 11:40 AM
[For the record: "tim" is actually "Tim H" Thank you.]
Posted by: Tim H | January 12, 2010 11:42 AM
Keep the unruly 8th graders Players locked up until I post & judge next week's contest Radosh goes home so they don't compromise the expediency make fun of our humble little contest my very small penis.
Posted by: m hartman | January 12, 2010 3:49 PM
[Sorry, I guess I screwed up the HTML tags...]
Posted by: m hartman | January 12, 2010 3:52 PM
Who cut the cheese?
ToBinge.com
Get your private invite to private sales here!
http://www.ToBinge.com
Posted by: ToBinge | January 12, 2010 5:57 PM
"You just had to go off and scold JD last week. Well, welcome to your pathetic, little JD-free world. No homo references, no political rants, and no color. You suck!"
Posted by: Sarah | January 12, 2010 6:08 PM
———Let———s make a difference, Fenwick. If we execute fifteen of them we———ll have a difference of ten.———
Posted by: dwilk | January 12, 2010 6:41 PM
"People who are only counting 25 of us aren't assuming those legs over there are attached to heads."
Posted by: Glenn | January 12, 2010 7:10 PM
———My apologies, Alphonso. I could swear you said twenty-five turds or less."
Posted by: Rob | January 12, 2010 8:07 PM
"All right, go home everyone, we're done for the day. It just won't work until we find someone who can levitate over a table AND shit in public."
Posted by: soundist | January 12, 2010 9:28 PM
"My name is m hartman and, as anyone else in this room can tell you, I am a dull, humorless person...Now, would you like to hear my 12th Anti-Cation for this week?"
Posted by: Anonymous | January 13, 2010 5:50 AM
"...and so the little marketing consultant who could drove back to Stamford, with his turkey taco uneaten, knowing that he had done not necessarily a good job but certainly one that wouldn't get him fired in the foreseeable future, made tiresome love to his heavily self-medicated wife, watched CSI, and slept the dreamless sleep of the forgettably adequate."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | January 13, 2010 8:59 AM
Radosh knew not to give these puns-referring-to-a-previous-winning-caption any handouts. But now, like metaphorical squatters in an office suite...
Posted by: Walt | January 13, 2010 9:47 AM
"Well, as we can see, Pamela Anderson's PETA ad had exactly the effect we were looking for."
Posted by: jake | January 13, 2010 1:20 PM
"I've got an unwrapped Hershey Bar for whoever blows me. No nuts."
Posted by: Rich Lather | January 13, 2010 1:47 PM
I've got a guy named Eichmann downstairs who will take the whole lot of your hands, no questions asked.
Posted by: boneguy | January 13, 2010 2:33 PM
"Previous entry violates all rules of play. The addition of structure is taking the "anti-" out of this beloved little diversion. You have become yet another puppet of the Man." ??
Posted by: WW-JD | January 13, 2010 3:01 PM
I know you guys are all exhausted and dispirited after our failure to prep adequately for the Yoo interview, but come on--we still have a show to write for tonight!
Posted by: The Confidence Man | January 13, 2010 3:35 PM
Fugitives, you crazy bastard!
Posted by: The Confidence Man | January 13, 2010 3:39 PM
Christ, what a steno pool.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | January 13, 2010 3:39 PM
We forced them to read J.D.s last entry.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 13, 2010 4:17 PM
"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to reply."
Posted by: NAMBY | January 13, 2010 6:18 PM
"Huh. I thought heaven would be better."
Posted by: Deborah | January 13, 2010 7:17 PM
"They use human shields, we use human shields. Tit for tit...I mean tat."
Posted by: dwilk | January 13, 2010 9:01 PM
She's reading behind my back again, isn't she.
Posted by: m hartman | January 14, 2010 1:42 AM
"Pretty awesome shit, huh?...We should totally order pizza or something."
Posted by: NAMBY | January 14, 2010 4:04 AM
"God I hate these stockbrokers anonymous meetings"
Posted by: Anonymous | January 14, 2010 2:49 PM
"I encourage them to think outside the box. If that doesn't work, I tell them that until they design a decent Ford, they'll have to remain inside the box."
"Yeah, sorry, the door only opens one way, then slams shut. It's like a damn loster trap. And I'm kosher. Ironic, isn't it?"
"Would you like to meet the rest of the team? They're all around here somewhere."
"Curse you, Cloverfield monster!"
Posted by: Trout Almondine | January 14, 2010 4:12 PM
"We're all just waiting for Radosh to do something with his Web site."
Posted by: R.C. | January 14, 2010 5:35 PM
"What the hell did you expect when I invited you to filibuster practice?"
Posted by: Cosette | January 14, 2010 7:05 PM
"Is it Haiti in here, or is it just me?"
Posted by: Dex | January 14, 2010 9:35 PM
"Why does the babe in the corner look like Wilma Flintstone?"
Posted by: Flint | January 14, 2010 11:00 PM
"No, the problem is how LETHARGIC you all get after eating human flesh."
Posted by: m hartman | January 14, 2010 11:54 PM
Jenkins! My eyes are over here. Stop staring over my left shoulder at Pamela Anderson's tits . . .
Posted by: Optimus Sub-Prime | January 15, 2010 9:11 AM
"Robertson says it's because we made a pact with the Devil. But Limbaugh says Obama will save us so he can look good."
Posted by: Polly | January 15, 2010 10:55 AM
"Well, Jenkins, I hope you brought enough Ambien—— for everybody."
Posted by: Tim H | January 15, 2010 1:43 PM
"Perkins, when I said to bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses... I meant one at a time so that I can rape each one individually."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 15, 2010 5:48 PM
"Its sad but yes. The new Vampire Weekend record really does suck."
Posted by: Pandyora | January 15, 2010 11:10 PM
"So this is the Socialism the Tea Party patriots have been warning us about."
Posted by: Louis | January 16, 2010 7:03 AM
"As Moses' attorney I implore you to let his people go...or at least go to the bathroom."
Posted by: Rob | January 16, 2010 7:56 AM
"Coach, I didn't want to do this in front of the entire team, but we feel the Knicks need someone with a better eye for talent."
Posted by: al in la | January 16, 2010 6:54 PM
"Of course I win, Fenwick. Ya snooze, ya lose."
Posted by: Swaption | January 16, 2010 7:00 PM
"I recommend you replace yourselves with people who give a crap."
Posted by: Swaption | January 16, 2010 7:02 PM
"Bad news Worthington. When your finance department wakes the hell up, tell them they flunked the stress test."
Posted by: Swaption | January 16, 2010 7:54 PM
Welcome to another meeting of Al-Anon in LA.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 16, 2010 8:09 PM
"Back when I had ennui, I got myself a French mistress, who bought me a Wii. Are we happy? Oui."
Posted by: Swaption | January 16, 2010 8:23 PM
"According to the American Dental Association, over 45% of white collar workers grind their teeth while asleep at their desks. Among vampires, the figure exceeds 80%, but they use variable speed grinders."
Posted by: Swaption | January 16, 2010 8:47 PM
"Somebody say something."
Posted by: Kyle | January 16, 2010 9:47 PM
"Of course not, Mr. Bond. I expect you to impregnate......all of the people in this room."
Posted by: Grant | January 16, 2010 10:40 PM
"Low-fat milk and two Splendas, thanks."
Posted by: Michael S. | January 17, 2010 2:26 PM
"Anyway, where was I? Oh yes: the mail room years..."
Posted by: Michael S. | January 17, 2010 2:30 PM
"Who forgot to take out the garbage?"
Posted by: Rob | January 17, 2010 3:41 PM
Yes, the world, hell, the universe is being annihilated by a blindingly white nothingness, but you people have really let yourselves go. The odors here are obscene.
Posted by: jf | January 17, 2010 4:08 PM
Worst. Orgy. Ever.
Posted by: Austin D. | January 17, 2010 8:03 PM
I'd like to call to order this meeting of the National Serial Killers Associat... Jackson! You started without me again!
Posted by: Austin D. | January 17, 2010 8:06 PM
And then Goebbels said to Hitler, "It's your turn to be the butch."
Posted by: Austin D. | January 17, 2010 8:14 PM
"C'mon, people! Remember the first rule of the brainstorming session: Don't filter!"
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | January 18, 2010 3:55 AM
"Ya don't ... ha-ave ... to live like a refugee ..."
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | January 18, 2010 3:59 AM