How to play (and win!) the New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest
The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest is an interactive — no wait, Web 2.0 — parody of The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. Every Monday, when the New Yorker publishes a new uncaptioned cartoon, I post that same cartoon on this site. But while the New Yorker is looking for (and rarely finding) good captions, I'm looking for the worst captions possible. So much easier. Submit no more than five anti-captions in the comments section. The following Monday, you'll get to vote for one of three finalists (while also submitting anti-captions for the new cartoon). The week after that, I'll announce the winner. That turned out to be a spectacularly unpopular idea. Instead, I'll choose one winner and two finalists who will be "rewarded" with a prominent spot directly under the cartoon and web links if any were provided. Below those I'll post any number of anti-captions deserving honorable mention.
What is an anti-caption, exactly? In large part, it's like Potter Stewart's definition of pornography: containing explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity. But there a few elements that make the difference between a merely bad caption and a true anti-caption. A great anti-caption does one or more of the following things:
• so completely misses the point that it changes your entire perception of the cartoon.
• is not just not funny but agressively unfunny.
• fits the picture, but does not actually work as a punchline.
• pays attention to details that the artist probably hoped you would overlook.
• reads like a caption that would actually appear in The New Yorker only without the being-funny part.
• reads like a caption that would never, ever appear in The New Yorker (see second finalist).
Meanwhile, there are a few popular tropes that I always appreciate, but which rarely make the final cut:
• direct parodies of/references to actual New Yorker cartoon captions (or actual caption contest winners).
• captions which fail to consider the central image/action of the cartoon.
For more, here's a complete index of The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest.
Comments
This is the big upgrade? I expected to see italicized entries scrolling across the cartoon. Or at least for the "Remember personal info?" box to work.
Posted by: J | October 23, 2006 10:31 AM
So.... who won (or, if the new format is retroactive, what finalists shall we be voting for) in contests 68 and 69?
Posted by: John Tabin | October 23, 2006 12:09 PM
You did. Congratulations!
Posted by: radosh | October 23, 2006 12:13 PM
Wow, I wonder if that always works.
So... who will you be sending an envelope stuffed with cash to?
Posted by: John Tabin | October 24, 2006 01:24 AM
Yes, Brian Wilson is working on a new album...yes, his room in the old house was much larger...yes, he ordered the same amount of sand....
Posted by: Greg | November 8, 2006 11:01 AM
Sorry-wrong entry.
Posted by: Greg | November 8, 2006 11:06 AM
Get a memo out, Lou. "Every employee who transfers here to the Congo office, must read and sign the orientation package"
Posted by: Frank Monaco | November 8, 2006 01:03 PM
Look, I was cool with the strap-on fetish, and the jailbird fetish and the elevated at an awkward angle fetish, and I like to think I'm game for anything, but i draw the line at smoking. it's just disgusting.
Posted by: Will | December 6, 2006 10:51 AM
After a long night of drinking, Danny Devito wakes up and wonders how he wound up in jail with Taylor Hanson.
Posted by: DCAustinite | December 6, 2006 10:54 AM
Whaddya mean, no room service?
Posted by: Ann Windebank | December 8, 2006 05:34 AM
Now Timmy, wasn't President Bush nice? He actually DID get your Dad home for Christmas from Iraq!
Posted by: Axxel Knutson | December 20, 2006 12:51 PM
hey, daniel, if it's supposed to be the Unfunniest, why do you elect the funniest? The "...nameplates, this is gary." is for the NYer.
Posted by: ritachang | January 8, 2007 01:11 PM
Can you hear me now?
Posted by: David | January 8, 2007 10:12 PM
Thank God, we found it!
Posted by: Les | January 11, 2007 05:51 PM
Dude, I think Santa Clause caught us.
Posted by: Les | January 11, 2007 05:58 PM
If you stop...DON'T bend over!
Posted by: John K | January 13, 2007 12:13 AM
...so I says to the guy, '"there's no fucking way I'm paying full retail. I'll give you cost plus 10% for the lot of it."' He was a moron. Right hon? Hon?
Posted by: David G. | January 15, 2007 09:05 PM
"Could you have used a chain saw if it wasn't Saturday?"
Posted by: Paul Morrison | February 12, 2007 11:28 AM
No, this is a gaping hole!
Posted by: Glenn FitzGibbons | February 18, 2007 10:27 PM
Do you have any Grey Poupon? The squirrels ate all mine.
Posted by: Tafnut | February 20, 2007 07:46 AM
Hey! Why isn't any of Michael Shaw's cartoons ever in the contest?
Posted by: michael shaw | March 28, 2007 01:20 PM
what's a dog gotta do to get a little fox around here?
Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2007 12:51 PM
what's a dog gotta do to get a little fox around here?
Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2007 12:51 PM
The MIT Drama Guild's production of David Ives' "All in the Timing: Six One-Act Comedies" features "Words, Words, Words," performed by real monkeys.
Posted by: Kristin MacDougall | July 16, 2007 10:30 AM
I said my lip gloss is cool,
my lip gloss be poppin...
I'm standing at my locker,
and all the boys keep stoppin.
Posted by: textxu | August 10, 2007 07:02 PM
I said my lip gloss is cool,
my lip gloss be poppin
I'm standing at my locker,
and all the boys keep stoppin
Posted by: textxu | August 10, 2007 07:08 PM
"MARY KAY here - with your Lip Plumping Conditioner"
Posted by: Henry Kleinberg | September 14, 2007 11:32 PM
"Hmm, 'Desert island Vaj Eye-Nas?' I get it but reads more like some kind of global warming thing."
Posted by: PO w/da BO | October 1, 2007 04:04 PM
This is my opus. I call it "Red Flea Comb for Cats."
Posted by: PL | November 23, 2007 08:55 PM
"Quick Gladice, he's aroused, show him your udder!"
Posted by: johnny boughton | November 25, 2007 07:51 PM
"Don't look now, but Mr. Looking Less Gay Each Day, is back..."
Posted by: johnny boughton | November 25, 2007 07:53 PM
"You've crawled into the annual Mohave Existential Competition. You're disqualified if you're just looking for water."
Posted by: Jerry Eisner | December 2, 2007 05:46 PM
"Turn the damn heat down,will ya?"
Posted by: jennie allen | January 1, 2008 08:57 PM
A magical snowman teaches lesbians the importance of saving energy.
Posted by: Drew | January 19, 2008 06:22 AM
you might really like the cartoons at http://cartoondujour.com
Posted by: marc lanker | February 9, 2008 04:09 AM
Honey...is that a banana I feel in your pants...or... are you...a man?
Posted by: Ken VanDrese | February 23, 2008 09:26 PM
George, are you there? Your psychologist is on line one.
Posted by: ajh | March 4, 2008 02:43 PM
Sorry for the static - this phone is for the birds!
Posted by: sbc | March 4, 2008 04:03 PM
Are you kidding me? The only caption that the cartoon could have been was, "We're here to see a Mr. Wile Coyote".
Posted by: MP Brackin | April 11, 2008 12:30 AM
25 years and this is how they show their appreciation. Well... at least i get a cigar with my Monica doll.
Posted by: i am | April 21, 2008 10:57 PM