The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #198
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon.
Last week's results. Rules and tips.
pop
- advice goddess
- a.j. jacobs
- arts & letters daily
- banterist
- eric berlin
- best week ever
- blowing smoke
- boing boing
- buck hill
- burro hall
- cinecultist
- cinematical
- city rag
- corporate casual
- the corsair
- coudal
- the cure for bedbugs
- cutting to the chase
- defamer
- the dirk
- drew's blog-o-rama
- encyclopedia hanasiana
- fark
- fimoculous
- gawker
- glass shallot
- golden fiddle
- go fug yourself
- grow a brain
- happy scrappy
- heaneyland
- lindsayism
- low culture
- meme first
- metafilter
- the morning news
- the movie blog
- muss my hair
- new yorkish
- maud newton
- obscure store
- old hag
- opinionade
- panopticist
- pieces of flair
- precog
- pullquote
- radar
- screenhead
- slumbering lungfish
- stereogum
- throwing things
- tmftml
- toner mishap
- tuned in
- tv squad
- whatevs
- whedonesque
politics
- 100 monkeys
- roger ailes
- altercation
- americablog
- buzzmachine
- comment is free
- marc cooper
- crooked timber
- daily kos
- brad delong
- direland
- eschaton
- fairshot
- functional ambivalent
- gone to croatan
- hit and run
- huffington post
- jesus' general
- kaus files
- ezra klein
- majikthise
- brendan nyhan
- the opinionator
- pandagon
- the plank
- political animal
- the poor man
- andrew sullivan
- talking points memo
- tapped
- james taranto
- this modern world
- tpm cafe
- unqualified offerings
- james wolcott
- wonkette
- matthew yglesias
sex
media
religion
new york
personal
Powered by
Movable Type 3.2
Movable Type 3.2
Comments
"I feel like I'm forgetting something. No, not the Post-It on my forehead -- that's just a reminder to kill the hostage we put on the roof."
Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | June 22, 2009 11:19 AM
"I love you. Dammit, don't turn away! I know you feel it, too."
Posted by: MAtt | June 22, 2009 11:23 AM
"You should keep your eyes on the road. We didn't even remotely secure that guy."
Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | June 22, 2009 11:24 AM
"Mine was the grande iced frappuccino. I don't know where you put yours."
Posted by: Richard H | June 22, 2009 11:28 AM
"Don't worry about that cop. I hid my frozen margarita as we drove by."
"Hazing was more fun when we were allowed to sodomize the pledges. Hey, don't give me that attitude. It's not gay if you make a 'mean face.'"
"Yowzers! She was a hottie! And she was checking us out."
Posted by: MAtt | June 22, 2009 11:30 AM
"Keep your eyes on the road, Vinnie. We don't want to attract attention. If the cops pul us over, they might ask questions about the guy on the roof."
Posted by: Richard H | June 22, 2009 11:31 AM
"`Member that part in `Raising Arizona' where they leave the baby on the roof of the car? I just got a bad feeling, Joey...what if I get whacked before that flick makes it to Blu Ray?"
Posted by: Damon | June 22, 2009 11:35 AM
"Don't you just love getting out of the city on a summer afternoon? Listen to the Boss on the CD player. Sip a delicious iced coffee. Find a nice secluded field. Whack a guy. You did bring the guy, didn't you?"
Posted by: Richard H | June 22, 2009 11:36 AM
Yep. PC Vey tagged a lot of cars last night -- right behind the driver-side door.
Posted by: Jason Olshefsky | June 22, 2009 12:04 PM
I feel like an idiot asking again, but I just don't get how this "mime siren" thing is supposed to work.
Posted by: Jason Olshefsky | June 22, 2009 12:07 PM
"Aw, let `em boo. When recruitment goes up, you'll be glad we did this parade float."
Posted by: Damon | June 22, 2009 12:13 PM
"That's right. Now, just ease into that parallel parking spot and you've passed your driver's road test."
Posted by: Tim H | June 22, 2009 12:49 PM
And I'm telling you, unless we take the tape off his mouth and let him sing, we'll never know if he's a soprano.
Posted by: therblig | June 22, 2009 12:58 PM
"Remember how we had 2 buckets of different sizes on the guy in The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #177? I just used one big one for this guy, but it uses a lot more cement."
Posted by: Glenn | June 22, 2009 1:00 PM
"It ain't so much the weight of the cement, see, it's the posture we put him in. If we lay him down, we lower the coefficient of drag and we go faster. I'm just sayin'."
"I think the public may be tiring of our 'Jackass' movie concept."
"I ordered blue raspberry, this is cherry. Let's go back."
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 22, 2009 1:07 PM
**yelling to roof** "Your turn, Mr. Fenton! Louie said `Nebraska'! Yours has to start with `A'!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!"
"Okay, Louie. 'M'."
Posted by: Damon | June 22, 2009 1:09 PM
He's my old high school composition teacher and once we get to the west coast, he's gonna get a little taste of "concrete and pacific".
Posted by: therblig | June 22, 2009 1:18 PM
"Seeing as we're both blind, the constant checking back over your shoulder before changing lanes is kind of a waste of time, don't you think?"
"But Larry, it doesn't look anything like a gnome and it's much bigger than our other ones. It's going to ruin the dynamic in the garden. I don't care if we did get a good price, I say we take it back. I am NOT always criticising your decisions, sweetheart."
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 22, 2009 1:27 PM
"Check out that sign up ahead: `BRIDGE CLEARANCE - 6.5'. Hey...today is June 5th. We could buy a cheap bridge!"
Posted by: Damon | June 22, 2009 1:30 PM
"Yeah, I find the seatbelt constraining too. But it's required by law."
Posted by: mypalmike | June 22, 2009 1:56 PM
"Whoa. That's a nasty-looking accident."
Posted by: Rubrick | June 22, 2009 1:57 PM
"Wow, look how busy the mall is. It's a mob scene."
Posted by: mypalmike | June 22, 2009 2:01 PM
"There's a secluded spot to pull over. Should we see if he's ready to talk?"
Posted by: John Tabin | June 22, 2009 2:06 PM
"No, doofus. I didn't say that was a close shave. I asked if I needed a shave."
Posted by: NJtoTX | June 22, 2009 2:12 PM
"A hundred buckets of Bill on the roof, a hundred buckets of Bill. If one of those buckets should happen to go splat on the next bridge abutment, 99 buckets of Bill on the roof.
99 buckets of Bill on the roof, 99 buckets of Bill. If one of those buckets should happen to go splat on the next bridge abutment, 98 buckets of Bill on the roof.
98 buckets of Bill on the roof, 98 buckets of Bill. If one of those buckets should happen to go splat on the next bridge abutment, 97 buckets of Bill on the roof.
97 buckets of Bill on the roof, 97 buckets of"
"Shut the hell up!"
Posted by: Urkel | June 22, 2009 2:18 PM
I think the guy on the roof farted.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | June 22, 2009 2:46 PM
Step on it, or we're going to be late for the Hobos With Hostages convention. They start killing civilians after the plenary session.
Posted by: LK | June 22, 2009 3:59 PM
Funny having a stool pigeon on the roof - normally it's covered with pigeon stool.
Posted by: therblig | June 22, 2009 4:11 PM
mumble mumble mumble GPS...
Posted by: Maxwell Hammer | June 22, 2009 4:13 PM
"If I promise not to kiss the hostage again, can we trade at Hertz for a convertible?"
Posted by: Damon | June 22, 2009 4:17 PM
"Would you please keep your eyes on the road, Mr. Mondavi? We just kidnapped the best grape-stomper in all of Napa Valley, and a crash now could compromise the whole plan."
Posted by: mypalmike | June 22, 2009 5:36 PM
"Funny how often the media will report that a criminal suspect was 'light-skinned black, Middle eastern or Hispanic,' because these ethnic types can be similar. How come we never hear 'eyewitnesses said the perpetrator was either Italian or Jewish?' I mean, both got the big shnozzolas and all. I guess if your people steal in the billions you get a break. Whatever, all I know is I got bad skin and a thick three day growth, so I must be a greaseball guinea wop."
Posted by: J.D. | June 22, 2009 6:02 PM
Looks like Senator Chappaquiddick giving Dick Cheney a ride.
Posted by: Lose Weight | June 22, 2009 6:02 PM
"You know what they call a Quentin Tarantino movie in France? Who the fuck cares."
Posted by: J.D. | June 22, 2009 6:46 PM
"Yeah, yeah ! Cop ! Ease over. Hey, we lookin' national coverage here, that little 'Hoffa theory' of ours !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 22, 2009 7:25 PM
"Took you for Willem Dafoe. ... Freakin' chicks, man !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 22, 2009 7:53 PM
"People keep honking at us. Weird."
"Sal makes a great hood ornament. I keep meaning to tell him that."
Posted by: Deborah | June 22, 2009 8:05 PM
"I've Hoffa mind to throw that guy into the river."
Posted by: dahed | June 22, 2009 8:21 PM
"Rabbit...I guess. Poor guy ! Explaining the birds, buzzards -all this 'road kill'. ...Hey, watch the skunk !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 22, 2009 8:36 PM
This hood ornament of Timothy Geither sure is attracting some attention.
Posted by: lawrence | June 22, 2009 8:45 PM
"Explain it to me again, Vince - why does the guy on the roof get windshield wipers for his eyes, but our car doesn't have any?"
"Think the calluses on his feet have softened enough so that I can give his his mani/pedi?"
Posted by: narcoleptic | June 22, 2009 9:39 PM
"We should pick up one of those blind spot mirrors at the next rest stop. I think they'll have them. Maybe I'll get one of those neck pillows, too. Last time I took a nap I woke up with a really stiff neck."
Posted by: klarabell | June 22, 2009 9:51 PM
"Recall - 'celerate slow, pull in duh roadway on'y duh 'proaching vehicle givin' a furlong. Watch duh coib...Chris', dese sightseers !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 22, 2009 10:49 PM
"Listen. I been took for Nicholson."
Posted by: Sam L. | June 22, 2009 11:18 PM
"Lucky us, huh, that beach ball thin'm'bob rolling off for all the world out front - diverting attention ? ...Hey ! Could you keep your mind off the ladies for onc'd ?! Chris'sake !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 23, 2009 12:41 AM
"Didn't I just see you buy a triple-venti Mocha Frappuccino with a stoolie swirl?...What the fuck did you do with it."
Posted by: al in la | June 23, 2009 1:19 AM
"Hey, remember the time we ran out of big buckets and we had to use those tiny, incongruous pails? Oh, never mind, that was the weekend of your jawsectomy."
Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | June 23, 2009 1:29 AM
"Our reasons for killing him are self-explanatory, but explain why we bothered to gag Marcel Marseau."
Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | June 23, 2009 1:55 AM
"I'm not shaving until the Yankees beat the Red Sox."
Posted by: Rob | June 23, 2009 2:45 AM
Man this sucks! Every bridge and overpass has a clearance of at least fourteen feet.
Posted by: Rob | June 23, 2009 8:42 AM
"Bad enough we're blind and trapped in a car on the bottom of the ocean, now I have ice cream brain freeze."
"Did you hear something?"
Posted by: djack | June 23, 2009 9:49 AM
"Men in Black: Part IV - The One Without Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones..scene 4, take six...'Dude there is flying saucer right above our car! Fuck I forgot to shave! Hold my slurpee!'"
Posted by: xjv | June 23, 2009 10:25 AM
"I told you we should have asked for directions! And now here we are, on the bottom of a lake."
Posted by: Francis | June 23, 2009 11:25 AM
"Did you hear something? I hope it isn't the legendary Killer Cement-shoed Escape Artist of Gay Lovers' Lane!"
Posted by: Francis | June 23, 2009 11:29 AM
"You up for a prostate massage?"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 23, 2009 11:41 AM
"Weird -you ever feel haunted by the 'vases' of our victims ?"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 23, 2009 12:03 PM
"I'll be the one who tells Steve O when he's done with the Jackass shit. Now back up at 50 mph and slam on the brakes."
"Oh stoolie, you crazy bastard! Where the hell are you?"
Posted by: LV | June 23, 2009 1:01 PM
"Look. Why don't you just call those Car Talk guys?"
Posted by: Kathy H | June 23, 2009 3:42 PM
"Seat belts buckled? Good. Now, slooowly drive the car into the middle of the lake. Remember, the Polish Mafia takes pride in each and every hit."
Posted by: mdoyle | June 23, 2009 5:53 PM
"Organized crime is so fucking funny."
Posted by: J.D. | June 23, 2009 7:16 PM
"Thanks. Most folks won't stop for a hitchhiker with a giant ironic chess piece."
Posted by: David John | June 23, 2009 9:14 PM
"......the difference is, Eddie, a porcupine has its pricks on the outside."
Posted by: Rob | June 23, 2009 9:15 PM
Your ethnic stereotype is a clip on.
Posted by: 99 | June 23, 2009 10:09 PM
Then I said, "well, I'm gonna make you into a STATUE of limitations". But I ran out of concrete. Hey, I guess he really is a statue of LIMITATIONS. I am so sending this into the Mafia Reader's Digest.
Posted by: therblig | June 23, 2009 10:42 PM
"Will you stop? No, he's not following us, fer chrissake! He's at the bottom of the lake in a burlap sack with his feet in concrete. What, you think he's gonna get outa there and come jump on our roof? No, Tommie, we have officially heard the last of ol' Raspu... hey, what wazzat?"
"No, it's not your imagination - the back of the car has suddenly balooned out into a grotesque pear shape. You think from the weight of the cement guy maybe?"
Posted by: Vance | June 24, 2009 12:06 AM
"I did a lot of Chekov in school. O'Neill. Shakespeare. Now I only get offered scripts like this piece of shit. Wish I were gay so when I have to suck dick for a job it wasn't so personally distasteful."
Posted by: J.D. | June 24, 2009 12:18 AM
"I know this is your first driving lesson, Mr. Thompson, but you really do need to keep both hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road. When we get to exit 13, I'm going to ask you to make a right and then take the second left. You'll pull over by a copse of trees. At that point I'll step out of the car as I have some business to attend to. It'll only be a few minutes, and I'll add the time on to the end of the lesson. What business? Nothing to concern you. Just a small disagreement with a former driving pupil."
Posted by: Richard H | June 24, 2009 1:17 AM
I'm not falling for it this time. Radosh goes x number of weeks without even judging the goddamned thing, and now all of a sudden we're supposed to jump? Fuck him, fuck y'all, and this is coming from a one-time "winner."
Posted by: Roger Kaputnik | June 24, 2009 2:02 AM
No, that's not a charging station. And I TOLD you not to use your electric car for things like this.
Posted by: Greg Urbaitis | June 24, 2009 10:23 AM
"Yeah, give 'bout anythin' fo' a 'Slurpee'...mister, Mr. DURYEA ? Anyways, t'anks ! Say, warn't Forest Lawn shut up fo' the Monday ? Whatever !...Long 's I gets a 'spot' - my 'tenner', natch !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 24, 2009 1:33 PM
"Hurry up! We're gonna miss the next episode of Sanford & Hon !"
Posted by: Kathy H | June 24, 2009 3:16 PM
Look, no matter what the joke is, there's no way it's going to explain the fact that I haven't shaved in 3 days and am sipping a fuckin' frappuccino.
Posted by: Phil G. | June 24, 2009 5:46 PM
"Easy does it, boss. Remember, according to Newton - 'An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and with the same direction, unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.' "
Posted by: Sam L. | June 24, 2009 6:21 PM
"In America, they put their flag on their cars. Death to America. And to this guy in the bucket."
Posted by: Muhammed | June 24, 2009 8:56 PM
"When Louie pays us, you'll get some game tickets. Then you won't have to make your own bobblehead."
Posted by: Denny | June 24, 2009 9:01 PM
"It's a bad idea to scare the shit out of someone who's riding in your car...That's what I learned from this."
Posted by: al in la | June 24, 2009 10:04 PM
When you see a cop hit the brakes hard and tell 'em its D.B.Cooper.
Posted by: boneguy | June 24, 2009 11:21 PM
Ma's gonna hit the roof when she finds her washtub gone.
Posted by: boneguy | June 24, 2009 11:22 PM
It was real smart of ya pourin' the cement after we put him up on the roof. It would be a lot harder getting him up there if we woulda done it the other way 'round.
Posted by: Shawn | June 24, 2009 11:50 PM
I love you, too.
Posted by: Chloe | June 25, 2009 12:58 AM
Stop me if you've heard this one before... two blind guys get into a car. They hear something on the roof. So one blind guys says to the other blind guy...
Posted by: Tim | June 25, 2009 2:07 PM
Stop me if you've heard this one before... two blind guys are driving in a car. They hear something on the roof. So one blind guys says to the other blind guy...
Posted by: Tim | June 25, 2009 2:09 PM
"Trust me on dis, pal. There mostly 'niche mentilties' these parts. Ain't the 'a.hole' out here gonna even notice dat stiff longs they the leas' insifnant, clip-on peanut-jaw like dis here to point, poke fun -swell theirself !....Duh 'dayclasse' Slurpee of mine....yore cheapass wipe'less hobomobile !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 25, 2009 3:20 PM
"I told you to get the quick drying cement."
Posted by: Dave | June 25, 2009 3:47 PM
"So, let me get this straight. You're saying that DNA tests suggest it may have been one of Thomas Jefferson's kids who sired a child with Sally Hemmings!? Cool."
Posted by: Katsen Jammer | June 25, 2009 4:04 PM
"Check it, yo, my weenie's so big I can put a straw in it. Now that's a Slurpee."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Well, we just passed 7-11, I had this straw, and I thought the timing was sort of funny."
"You idiot, that was a Circle K"
"Whatever; my bad. Why don't you go fuck yourself, Mr. I-can-drive-100-Miles-in-Complete-Silence"
Posted by: TMTOMH | June 25, 2009 4:30 PM
"Citroen 2cv, n'est-ce pas ?"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 25, 2009 5:23 PM
"Where's Pancakes House? We stop at Pancakes House....."
Posted by: Rob | June 25, 2009 7:18 PM
I don't care how he looked; he was a genius.
Posted by: maestro | June 25, 2009 8:00 PM
"Federico, you shoulda never driven into this fucking lake with Vinnie still on this fucking roof."
Posted by: GG | June 25, 2009 9:59 PM
"Hey, look, cows. Moooooo!"
Posted by: Rubrick | June 26, 2009 1:00 AM
"Cirrus, my ass !"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 26, 2009 9:11 AM
c'mon now... just a small kiss??
Posted by: Past Expiry | June 26, 2009 12:15 PM
Seeing the back of your head reminds me of our romantic weekend in the Hamptons...
Posted by: Past Expiry | June 26, 2009 12:16 PM
"Faucet, F-A-U-C-E-T !"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 26, 2009 1:16 PM
"He's Michael Jackson's doctor. Okay, switch lanes now."
Posted by: David F | June 26, 2009 1:33 PM
"Clark, I sense Sid Caesar standing on our roof...and OH MY GOD, where is Rusty and Audrey?"
Posted by: GG | June 26, 2009 2:02 PM
"Clark, I can tell from the way our Family Truckster is rendered that P.C. Vey can't draw for shit...OH MY GOD, where are Rusty and Audrey?"
Posted by: GG | June 26, 2009 2:16 PM
"What just landed on the roof? I told you we shouldn't drive on the ocean floor!"
Posted by: MisterHippity | June 26, 2009 6:21 PM
I think we lost the ACLU layer Jim!
You also missed our exit!
Darn it!
Posted by: Joesmo | June 26, 2009 10:35 PM
"Think this Tony Judt dude knows we rarely kill our own -- that we're just trying to scare the hell out of his compulsive truth-telling ass?"
Posted by: J.D. | June 27, 2009 12:25 AM
There has to be an easier way to test out the concept of Street View. These interns are dropping like flies!
Posted by: GeunGen | June 27, 2009 1:23 AM
Whoa- BRAIN FREEZE!!!
Buying me this frappucino really cements our relationship.
I feel like I'm in one of those sucky Sonic commercials.
You can't be a member of organized crime and lose your Daytimer.
Posted by: Waiting 4 Sedaris | June 27, 2009 1:27 AM
Ever read Somerset Maugham?
Don't tell me you lost the bucket list!
I love you a bushel and a peck!
He's fit to be tied...
Posted by: Hugh Mann Bondage | June 27, 2009 1:31 AM
How does he get his penis out of that micro fly?
Cop! Buckle up!
Slow down-Leadfoot!
Tying up Sedaris and freezing his feet in titty milk- what a way to go!
Posted by: 1000 Ways to Die | June 27, 2009 1:37 AM
The promoter says this guy slipped Michael Jackson some 12 year old nuts.
Let's run him through a car wash.
Posted by: Ann Schutz | June 27, 2009 1:49 AM
That "Just Encased" sign on the back is too much.
You using nitrous or did he eat pintos?
Posted by: Married 2d Mob | June 27, 2009 1:56 AM
"Fuckin' Mario's such a drama queen. Always gotta play the victim."
Posted by: al in la | June 27, 2009 1:37 PM
Sal: "OK, we made him blog that he's taking a 'summer break'. Now what do we do with him? There'll be no contest judge."
Vito: "So what, others will blog for him. As far as no contest judging, who's gonna notice. Now let's get rid of him and pick up the next one in L.A."
Posted by: LV | June 27, 2009 1:43 PM
"Slow down, will ya—I don't want him to die of a heart attack."
Posted by: Rob | June 27, 2009 7:16 PM
"Give up? Farrah fucked Majors. Jackson fucked minors. How's that guy doing up there?"
Posted by: Ralph | June 27, 2009 8:40 PM
"Actually, no, there has never even been a plausible rumor that Michael Jackson ever sexually penetrated anyone in his life. The most believable stories indicate that as an adult he prefered mutual masturbation with pubescent boys, as if he himself were another pubescent boy. Given the opportunity and freedom from neurotic oversupervision, 12-year-old boys enjoy whacking off together, though by late adolescence most hetero-identified males will vehemently deny it ever happened."
Posted by: J.D. | June 27, 2009 11:48 PM
"Wait, wait ! Call us what ? Bottom dwellers ? Bottom feeders ?! Dat soooo nutty ! Dat 'fighting words' !...Say, I ain't taking dat ! Turn around, stop dis crate !"
Posted by: Sam L. | June 28, 2009 11:48 AM
"Oh wow ! You never forget where you were at news like this ! You know, it's ironic, isn't it, how it was Jackson - remember 'Thriller' ? - convinced us finally to plant all our stoolies in cement shoes... superstitious or not."
Posted by: Sam L. | June 28, 2009 1:19 PM