The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #225
al in laSubmit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. (Maximum five entrys per person, 25 words per caption.)
Rules & Tips
WINNERS
FIRST PLACE
"Hi, wanna see my confetti impression?"-- TG Gibbon
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"No, Captain, Sullenberger, I'm not Kate Hudson and you can't 'ditch it' in me."--JohnnyB
"Oh, jeez. Another fucking moron to get arrested while they close down the goddam airport."--Glenn
"Remember me? I was on Comair CRJ-100. 49 of us died and you survived. I hope you're haunted by my face."--Yetta K
For additional Honorable Mentions and a Judge's Comment on all of the winning entries, visit al in la's blog..
Comments
"I'm like that guy who got eaten by a bear but for planes and also a cheerleader. But that's just for my college apps."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | January 18, 2010 7:34 AM
"Hi, wanna see my confetti impression?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | January 18, 2010 7:36 AM
"In case the laws of aerodynamics don't work, I'm here to cheer you up."
"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to fly."
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 18, 2010 7:36 AM
"No, Captain, Sullenberger, I'm not Kate Hudson and you can't 'ditch it' in me."
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 18, 2010 7:38 AM
"I'm the cheerleader for the graduating flight delay training class of 2010."
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 18, 2010 7:41 AM
"No, really, I can't hear you."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | January 18, 2010 7:48 AM
———I just found out I———m pregnant, Dad. Like...what do I do now?———
Posted by: dwilk | January 18, 2010 7:59 AM
———Oh-my-god! Is that how you do runway?———
Posted by: Rob | January 18, 2010 8:15 AM
"Oh, jeez. Another fucking moron to get arrested while they close down the goddam airport."
Posted by: Glenn | January 18, 2010 8:37 AM
"Remember me? I was on Comair CRJ-100. 49 of us died and you survived. I hope you're haunted by my face."
Posted by: Yetta K | January 18, 2010 9:05 AM
———I...Could...Go...All...The...Way!———
Posted by: dwilk | January 18, 2010 9:26 AM
"Have a good flight! You can find me at shemalesandtrannies.com!"
Posted by: Victor | January 18, 2010 9:55 AM
"Coach said to get off the fucking field."
Posted by: LV | January 18, 2010 10:01 AM
Delta delta....fly the friendly thighs.
Posted by: Amy E | January 18, 2010 10:05 AM
———Earth to phallic metallic! We were here first.———
Posted by: Rob | January 18, 2010 10:18 AM
These To Catch A Predator stings are getting increasingly elaborate.
Posted by: David | January 18, 2010 10:24 AM
"HEY BABY! You wanna be my cockpit?"
Posted by: David | January 18, 2010 10:25 AM
The day I show you my tits is the day Radosh puts Pamela Anderson's generously augmented twins fully exposed on his blog site. What? Oh shit.
Posted by: boneguy | January 18, 2010 11:10 AM
"No, you'll be raped in Haiti"
Posted by: Rich Lather | January 18, 2010 11:15 AM
Funny you should ask for a "D" and an "A", they're on the grass right behind you.
Posted by: djack | January 18, 2010 11:18 AM
"You don't have to tell ME about the coefficient of drag, captain honey."
"I wanna switch from poms to the mile-high club."
Posted by: LV | January 18, 2010 11:19 AM
Funny you should ask for a "D" and another "D",they're on the grass right behind you.
Posted by: djack | January 18, 2010 11:20 AM
Have by chance, you seen a large flock of geese?
I was supposed to meet them at the end of runway 31L 10 minutes ago. They are flying in from Canada. Well keep an eye out for them Capt. and if you see them let them know I'm here. Thanks. And have nice flight to Charlotte.
Posted by: boneguy | January 18, 2010 11:23 AM
When funding for the landing lights gets restored, I'll be looking for work.
Posted by: boneguy | January 18, 2010 11:30 AM
Surprise! Dennis, will you go to prom with me?
Posted by: LK | January 18, 2010 11:38 AM
Yes, I would love to go to Rome with you. Can I bring these two severed heads?
Posted by: te | January 18, 2010 11:45 AM
"I just flew in from Dallas and boy are my arms tired. And how did you guys get here?"
Posted by: MAtt | January 18, 2010 11:47 AM
"DEE-FENSE!"
Posted by: dwilk | January 18, 2010 11:47 AM
"O'Hare?? How 'bout some pubic hair?"
Posted by: MJ | January 18, 2010 12:17 PM
"Don't forget your wigs, boys."
"Two, four, six, eight,
I'll help you elevate.
Just be careful not to slip
When you reach the landing strip. Go Jets!"
Posted by: LV | January 18, 2010 12:23 PM
"Do you like the wig in my left hand better, or the one in my right?"
"The one in the middle."
Posted by: Damon | January 18, 2010 12:29 PM
"It's Jeff Zucker's latest idea to save the network. Think of it as LOST Meets HEROES, but if J.J. Abrams asks, it's based on an idea by Art Buchwald."
Posted by: Richard H | January 18, 2010 12:33 PM
The quake victims aren't going anyhwhere. I'm gonna
fuck her.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 18, 2010 2:40 PM
"Hey Cheer-person, show me your balls."
Posted by: RL | January 18, 2010 2:48 PM
"Marry me, and we'll create little TV-Pilots." (Tranny jokes rule!)
Posted by: Cosette | January 18, 2010 2:51 PM
"Excuse me. I'm looking for Alex Ovechkin. He was out here playing hockey."
Posted by: Svetlana | January 18, 2010 3:00 PM
TSA regulations require me to look in your underpants.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 18, 2010 4:20 PM
Gosh, Captain Sullenberger sure has a lot of close personal friends.
Yes, I am a natural blonde.
So you're looking to get high, huh?
What do you think a cheerleader's doing on the tarmac, Jim?
And boy are my arms tired.
Posted by: Anon | January 18, 2010 4:23 PM
"Suck the cheerleader into your port engine, save the world."
Posted by: Walt | January 18, 2010 4:37 PM
"Do you need anyone to turn on the auto-asphyxiation pilot?"
Posted by: Damon | January 18, 2010 5:53 PM
"Is this the airline where fun bags fly free?"
Posted by: Damon | January 18, 2010 5:56 PM
It was supposed to be a FLASHMOB. Dammit, did I get the time wrong?
Posted by: Roger Kaputnik (for DMF) | January 18, 2010 6:24 PM
I'm here for the EXOPHTHALMOS support group. But this must be the wrong week . . .
Posted by: Optimus Sub-Prime | January 18, 2010 6:25 PM
That's kinda . . . offensive. No, I said if you start the engines, I'LL be sucked into them like a piece of hamburger into a garbage disposal . . .
Posted by: Optimus Sub-Prime | January 18, 2010 6:29 PM
"So, do you boys want TWA-Coffee or TWA-Tea?"
[Note: This joke is so old I almost felt too embarassed to post it. Almost.]
Posted by: Tim H | January 18, 2010 6:31 PM
I am here to remind you that when you reach V3, pull on your stick.
Posted by: boneguy | January 18, 2010 6:32 PM
"Welcome to Indianapolis, Jets fans. As you exit the plane feel free to chant "Show your tits!" at the yound lady on the tarmac. It's included in your deluxe package"
Posted by: NAMBY | January 18, 2010 6:41 PM
"I realize you both have other choices, so thanks for flying me."
Posted by: Rob | January 18, 2010 7:50 PM
Most of my Johns come by car.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 18, 2010 8:20 PM
Of course I have Grey Poupon.
Posted by: Austin D | January 18, 2010 8:24 PM
That's a negative, tower. Our tranny is out.
Posted by: Austin D | January 18, 2010 8:26 PM
Stop it.
Posted by: Austin D | January 18, 2010 8:27 PM
"Sully, stop showing off and get off the fucking track. The game starts in ten minutes."
Posted by: Richard H | January 18, 2010 10:49 PM
"Hold up a sec, that's our navigator Al."
Posted by: Dex | January 18, 2010 11:35 PM
"Why do you guys have no mouths?"
Posted by: Selene | January 19, 2010 5:05 AM
"Wow! Mini Cooper makes a 747?"
Posted by: dwilk | January 19, 2010 7:14 AM
"If you can hear me, you might want to close your window."
Posted by: Steve_O | January 19, 2010 7:32 AM
"Krrrr...This is your captain speaking. To the left, you'll see a cheerleader. Thank you for choosing the Tostito's Fiesta Flight from Albuquerque."
Posted by: OMG it's Brenda | January 19, 2010 12:30 PM
"A cheerleader!?"
Posted by: The soul of wit | January 19, 2010 12:46 PM
"I'm sure glad there are no black TSA agents here to see this."
Posted by: Mr. Know It All | January 19, 2010 12:49 PM
"What do you mean you could see my landing strip?"
Posted by: Mr. Know It All | January 19, 2010 12:50 PM
"I would be cheering, but that wasn't a very good landing."
Posted by: Francis | January 19, 2010 1:33 PM
"We're about to take off. It's too late to dust the plane."
Posted by: Mike | January 19, 2010 3:06 PM
Gimme an A! Gimme an L!
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 19, 2010 3:59 PM
You looking for Al in LAX?
He was attacked my a mob of angry anti-cappers last week. I'm here to cheer him up.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 19, 2010 4:09 PM
"She must be a Jet fan."
"Look, Payton Manning has come out to personally greet the team."
"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to comply (with FAA regulations).
Posted by: J. E. T. S. Jets, Jets Jets!!!!!!!!!!! | January 19, 2010 5:30 PM
"Is that a Schiphol in your pants or are you just happy to see an androgynous cheerleader?"
Posted by: Hans | January 19, 2010 5:45 PM
"Fuselage, you crazy bastard!"
Posted by: Richard H | January 19, 2010 5:57 PM
"Is that your prolapsed uterus or are you actually a man?"
Posted by: Dr. Oz | January 19, 2010 6:26 PM
"Hello! I'm not a waitress. I can't show you my tips."
Posted by: Rob | January 19, 2010 8:05 PM
"Oh, you were smoking grass on the runway skirt. Now I feel stupid out here for you in this grass skirt."
Posted by: Elena B. | January 19, 2010 8:44 PM
"Do you really think this the time to be associating teenage cheerleaders and landingstrips, when sexting hurts so many of our youth?"
Posted by: 0bs01337 | January 20, 2010 3:05 AM
"Hey look, it's Kato Kaelin in a grass skirt!"
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | January 20, 2010 3:45 AM
"Our right wing is slanted FORWARD? Thanks, miss, we'll check it out."
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | January 20, 2010 3:47 AM
"Holy cow, Al, it's a terrorist! I think she just said she has two 'bomb-bombs'!"
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | January 20, 2010 3:49 AM
[boomp-ch-ch-boomp-ch]
Oh 'Dd' you're so fine
You're so fine
You blow my mind
Hey 'Dd' !!
Hey 'Dd' !!
Posted by: Roger Kaputnik | January 20, 2010 9:48 AM
"Out your windows to the left you'll see the Grand Canyon....My apologies, folks, I was looking up a cheerleader's skirt."
Posted by: EJ | January 20, 2010 10:46 AM
"Oh m' god, that was like totally the raddest plane thingy like ever."
Posted by: josh F | January 20, 2010 10:58 AM
"You are trespassing on a sacred female Indian burial ground. Your journey is cursed."
Posted by: Makkitotosimew | January 20, 2010 5:27 PM
"D-L-A-I-D! What's it spell?"
Posted by: dwilk | January 20, 2010 6:30 PM
"The control towers here say she's perky and lean."
Posted by: NAMBY | January 21, 2010 2:42 AM
"What? Turn off the en-...what? Do I like small children?"
Posted by: Grant | January 21, 2010 4:22 AM
"I just wanted to let you know you are missing a wing. In fact, the one wing you do have is just two lines."
Posted by: Grant | January 21, 2010 4:26 AM
*Movie announcer voice* "This summer, from the Director of SOUL PLANE comes the romantic comedy event of the summer, WHITE PLANE."
Posted by: Grant | January 21, 2010 4:30 AM
"You say we're in Scandinavia and not Haiti? Do they even have cheerleaders in Scandinavia? Damnit Sarge, is that you again?
Posted by: Grant | January 21, 2010 4:35 AM
"Wow, for freshmen, your homecoming float is really nice"
Posted by: Valerie | January 21, 2010 11:06 AM
"Gimme a B! Huh?! What?! I can't hear you because your plane just blew out my ears you asshole!!! Did you give me a B or not?"
Posted by: CW | January 21, 2010 1:22 PM
"Whatever you do, please don't let the Man purposely crash your plane, blame terrorists, and use the "attack" to ramrod new laws down our throats."
Posted by: Beth | January 21, 2010 2:59 PM
We've got to stop meeting like this. I have other responsibilities. From now on, meet me on twitter. Warning: they have a stricter word limit.
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 21, 2010 3:26 PM
"Yes, we carry Kotex—— Maxi Pads with Wings. Why do you ask?"
Posted by: Tim H | January 21, 2010 6:42 PM
"Excuse me, but somebody told me that a human being was once sucked completely through a jet engine. Is that true? If so, then I guess the engines on jets really suck."
Posted by: Rob | January 21, 2010 9:05 PM
"A cheerleader? Me? Who the hell thinks I'm a cheerleader? I look nothing like a cheerleader. And who the hell can ever figure out what Dd draws in these things?"
Posted by: Greta | January 21, 2010 9:26 PM
"In Soviet Russia, you suck off cheerleader."
Posted by: NAMBY | January 21, 2010 9:29 PM
"Hi, my name is Hudson. Do you want to be in me?"
"Sorry, miss, you've already been sullied."
Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | January 21, 2010 11:00 PM
"I'm haunted by the faces of my victims. Specifically that cheerleader that I raped and killed in Seattle last year. You remember, right, Phil?"
Posted by: Steve_O | January 21, 2010 11:01 PM
RAT SHIT BAT SHIT DIRTY OLD TWAT, 69 ASSHOLES TIED IN A KNOT!
Posted by: m hartman | January 22, 2010 1:20 AM
"Captain Ober to control. I've spotted a double D on the runway. And a cheerleader with moderately-sized tits. Over."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 22, 2010 1:38 AM
"Captain Ober to control. Request permission to enter Summit High School airspace. Over."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 22, 2010 1:38 AM
"Excuse me, could you please move your plane? I really need to get to that bench. Thanks a lot!"
Posted by: Sarge | January 22, 2010 1:27 PM
OSAMA OBAMA, GET A ROOM.
INFIDEL AIRPLANE GO KABOOM!!!!
Posted by: m hartman | January 23, 2010 12:48 AM
"U make rung toin. Dees Czeck Repobleek! Go bek op een air...make left turn PeezmoBeetch."
["Oh...N eff u see Raydush, tell heem u c Rados...N she preggers mit El Een Lah bebe, dat zan-uv-beetch!]
Posted by: em khartmen | January 23, 2010 1:08 AM
"She's a reporter for Fox News. They're here doing a story about our right wing."
Posted by: Andrea Mackris | January 23, 2010 2:03 AM
"E komo mai o Hawaii. Welcome! I'm here to get you two leid."
Posted by: Rebecca | January 23, 2010 9:00 AM
"Could you pull up a few feet? You stopped on my diaphragm. It falls out sometimes when I do splits."
Posted by: Nam Trahm | January 24, 2010 3:29 PM
"You know there's a jet engine stuck to the window of your cockpit, right?"
Posted by: Steve_O | January 24, 2010 4:36 PM
"Please, no more atomic wedgies."
Posted by: Michael S. | January 24, 2010 5:14 PM
"I'm not THAT loud and obnoxious- turn off your engine first, then I'll service you."
Posted by: Michael S. | January 24, 2010 5:18 PM
She's awfully scrawny. Let's taxi over to Pamela.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | January 24, 2010 9:28 PM
"Suck your dick for an upgrade, mister?"
"I don't think you'll be leaving anytime soon. I just scalped your flight crew."
"Did anyone find a lost '1995 Jennifer Aniston' wig on the last flight?"
"I'll be using these instead of those cone-topped flashlight things. You'll not only pay just as much attention to where you're taxiing, but you'll get a big ol' hard-on in the process."
Posted by: Trout Almondine | January 24, 2010 11:24 PM
"Well, are you going to open the door and extend the ladder so I can get on the fucking plane? Goddamn municipal airports..."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 25, 2010 3:00 AM