Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here for last week's results.
Winner
"I'm sorry, we were looking for a more normal-sized lobster." �Francis
Finalists
"I'm very sorry, but you're overqualified -- we're looking for something more in the realm of plankton, or a Penn State grad." �LK
"Do you know anything about Gail in accounting getting hit in the back of the head with two gigantic rubber bands?" �Damon
Honorable mention
�Your cubicle is in the big black pot on top of the stove. Ha ha! Just kidding. Actually, you�ll be sitting with Accounting.� �Deborah
"All the ladies put your hands in the air!" �Mike Mariano
"Interesting. Thoughtful. Well argued. Still, we're going to boil and eat you." �Charles
"You and I have always had difficulty communicating. Let's try some role playing; I'll be you, and you can be me, ok? I'll start...ehem...`I'm a big, crybaby lobster who complains about the funny looks I get from co-workers, and I think it's my manager's fault that people follow me around with butter and little forks, and try to crack open my claws, and I think the workplace is an appropriate forum to discuss my family problems at home.' Okay - your turn." �Damon
"Congenital syndactylism my achin' ass. You're a giant fuckin' lobster! Get the fuck outta here!" �J.D.
"Truman Capote: I had lunch with Jimmy Baldwin the other day.
Lobster: How is he?
Truman Capote: He's lovely, he's a lovely man. And he told me the plot of his new book. And he said, 'I just wanted to make sure it's not one of those problem novels,' you know. And I said , 'Jimmy. Your book is about a Negro homosexual who's in love with a Jew. Wouldn't you call that a problem?'
[Lobster laughs]" �Trotman
"So ... umm ... since you already are a lobster, can we dispense with the expensive dinner and skip right to the sex?" � Jason Olshefsky
"I still don't quite follow you. You want me to refer to this old contract and incorporate the same ... what? Help me out here. One word. Sounds like ... pincers? 'Incorporate the 'pincers' from the old contract?' What does that even mean?" �Milan Starling
"A detail so obvious that most recipes don�t even bother to mention it is that each lobster is supposed to be alive when you put it in the kettle. This is part of lobster�s modern appeal: It�s the freshest food there is. There�s no decomposition between harvesting and eating. And not only do lobsters require no cleaning or dressing or plucking (though the mechanics of actually eating them are a different matter), but they�re relatively easy for vendors to keep alive. They come up alive in the traps, are placed in containers of seawater, and can, so long as the water�s aerated and the animals� claws are pegged or banded to keep them from tearing one another up under the stresses of captivity,8 survive right up until they�re boiled. So then here is a question that�s all but unavoidable at the World�s Largest Lobster Cooker, and may arise in kitchens across the U.S.: Is it all right to boil a sentient creature alive just for our gustatory pleasure? A related set of concerns: Is the previous question irksomely PC or sentimental? What does 'all right' even mean in this context? Is it all just a matter of individual choice?" �simsburybear
"Lobster? I hardly even know'er!" �Harry
