The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #91
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Winner
"So you never got a patent, huh? I had to learn that the hard way myself. Fucking pasta-straining pot. It cooks and drains pasta. Get it? Here, let me draw you a picture." —lil miss poland spring
Finalists
"What an anachronism! Everybody knows the zero wasn't invented until well after the agricultural revolution, you clod!"—TG Gibbon
"This is how you roll?" —Amy
Honorable mention
"OK, Mr. Nolte, you know the drill -- blood, breath, or urine?" —Tim C
"Are you sure you're a Cro-Magnon? Because you were weaving like a goddamn Neanderthal out there."—Patrick Broderick"
"In the internet age, even the Yapese can put out an APB; so you're busted."—IknowImOverMyLimit [Ed. note: Though I do prefer people to limit themselves to five entries, if you feel compelled to go over a little, I'd rather you keep using your own screen name. All entries posted in good faith will be considered]
"Save it for your blog, No Impact Man." —Kevin Guilfoile
Honorable mention for jokes that reference other captions, because even though I usually disqualify the genre, these were particularly good variations of it
"The hours here are Pleistocene." —mypalmike
"Christ, what an asphalt-hole."—John Tabin
Comments
"Okay, a couple of things here. You need a helmet. And an axle."
Posted by: Deborah | March 19, 2007 9:49 AM
"Tell you what: One of us is terribly anachronistic. But, I'll be damend if I can tell which one. So why don't I just pretend to write you a "ticket" for the sake of The New Yorker folks and we'll both be on our way. OK?"
Posted by: Tim H | March 19, 2007 10:02 AM
Guaranteed real-life winner: "All right, where's the fire?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | March 19, 2007 10:15 AM
"I'm citing you for stealing the 'O' from 'Bob's Caveman-Themed BBQ.' I don't care if he doesn't give health insurance and makes you wear a leopard fur mumu. Being a disgruntled employee doesn't mean you can be a scofflaw."
Posted by: Dan McCoy | March 19, 2007 10:25 AM
"Thanks for doing this Jim. It's a rare policeman who would pose for his partner's life drawing class homework."
Posted by: Dan McCoy | March 19, 2007 10:26 AM
"Sorry, Bub, but being 'late for a GEICO ad shoot' isn't good enough."
Posted by: Tim H | March 19, 2007 10:28 AM
"Can I see your lice and registration?"
Posted by: Gene | March 19, 2007 10:33 AM
My daughter is going to love this Captain Caveman, make it out to Amy. Oh, and thanks for holding my gigantic donut.
Posted by: Joe | March 19, 2007 10:35 AM
I'm writing you a ticket because here in Utah we don't believe in evolution.
Posted by: Joe | March 19, 2007 10:51 AM
"OK, Mr. Nolte, you know the drill -- blood, breath, or urine?"
"I don't care who told you to do it, sir -- while I admire your dexterity, the law doesn't allow that kind of public conduct with a rolling donut."
"I'm ticketing you for speeding, reckless endangerment, and infringing Johnny Hart's copyrights."
Posted by: Tim C. | March 19, 2007 10:56 AM
"Let me guess. Your insurance is Geico."
Posted by: michael | March 19, 2007 11:03 AM
"Clicki-lock-a-hoog-lag-lag that means how much it cost?"
Posted by: Tiberius | March 19, 2007 11:17 AM
"Reinvent THIS!"
Posted by: Tiberius | March 19, 2007 11:18 AM
"Look, you wee speeding; this is not a case of prejudice. Some of my best friends are Neanderthals. Well, most of them, really, because I'm a fundamentalist Christian. Ka-ching! Just kidding. I'm actually quite liberal except for my irrational hatred of anachronisms."
Posted by: Francis | March 19, 2007 11:20 AM
Gah, "wee" should be "were". One of these days I'm going to figure out how to hack your website so I can edit my posts.
Posted by: Francis | March 19, 2007 11:22 AM
Look if you are going to win the costume party you have to be Hagar the Horrible or Fred Flintstone not both
Posted by: FD | March 19, 2007 11:37 AM
"And I'd advise you to wear a coat and tie for your court appearance"
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 19, 2007 11:37 AM
Wheel Stories of the Highway Patrol
Posted by: FD | March 19, 2007 11:37 AM
Yes it is a very large roll of athletic tape.
Posted by: FD | March 19, 2007 11:43 AM
Yes it is a very large roll of athletic tape.
Posted by: FD | March 19, 2007 11:43 AM
Sir, let me give you a little friendly advice for next time you visit Five Rocks One Of Which Is Tire-Shaped State Park. Just because you can fuck a sixteen-inch diameter hole in a rock doesn't mean you should. And I'm not just saying that because I'm pissed off at having discovered how evolution can play cruel tricks on a species.
Posted by: Walt | March 19, 2007 11:44 AM
"You just might be the ugliest tranny-hooker I've ever seen, but you sure know how to bribe a hungry cop."
"Reduce your speed! I don't care if your wife really needs a LifeSaver down at the EVROLET plant."
"You've got a huge emissions problem, and I don't think it's the vehicle."
"American Chopper stole your idea? Well, slap a pair of those skins on my ride and I'll go pay 'em a visit."
Posted by: LV | March 19, 2007 11:57 AM
"And you say this makes it EASIER to get from place to place?"
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 19, 2007 12:12 PM
"I wouldn't lean on that if I were you."
Posted by: Francis | March 19, 2007 12:12 PM
Now if you would just hold still another ten minutes I should be all finished. You have such an expressive face and I so seldom find an interesting subject. Moonlighting as a caricaturist can be difficult in my line of work—if I have to draw one more “I’m With Stupid” wife-beater drenched in sweat I will shoot myself! Do you have any idea how much shading it takes to effectively draw realistic track marks?
Posted by: maristeph | March 19, 2007 12:16 PM
"Even as I write this ticket here, I can't for the life of me remember how you were traveling on one wheel, let alone at a rate of speed fast enough to warrant a ticket. Physically, it doesn't even make sense. You couldn't be inside the wheel, and if you were on top you'd just fall-- oh, right, you're a few thousand years away from understanding English, aren't you? Well, shit. Just pay the ticket in wolly mammoth meat, and I'll look the other way."
Posted by: jason | March 19, 2007 12:20 PM
Okay, I'll let you off with a warning about the condition of your vehicle, but I am going to have to ticket you for the hackneyed premise.
Posted by: Ogdred | March 19, 2007 12:21 PM
"Let me have the donut, and I'll let you off with a warning."
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 19, 2007 12:23 PM
Looks like it might rain, huh?
Here's my number. I know most furries don't go for cop uniforms, but I'm trying to kink it up. Fred Flinstone looks good on you, and the foam wheel is pretty hot.
(Ed. note: my apologies to Dan McCoy, I didn't read the earlier entries, so my earlier offering is not meant as a rip, FYI, disqualify it if you like, alls well).
Posted by: maristeph | March 19, 2007 12:30 PM
No, what's "bullshit" is that someone actually thought this was funny.
Posted by: Ogdred | March 19, 2007 12:34 PM
"Um, excuse me buddy, but could you move a few feet to the right? I'm trying to draw those mountains back there. Thanks."
Posted by: Vance | March 19, 2007 12:36 PM
"Listen here, Mister Freud, if that is your real name - sometimes a motorcycle with a six-foot-long appendage and a giant rolling hole are just that and nothing more, got it?"
Posted by: Vance | March 19, 2007 12:38 PM
Wow, that's weird--usually they take the tires when they strip a car.
Posted by: kingedra | March 19, 2007 12:38 PM
"'B.C.' has never been a funny comic strip, and I don't intend to change that today."
Posted by: mypalmike | March 19, 2007 12:41 PM
No, I don't know how fast I was going. Do you see a speedometer on this thing?
Posted by: Ben | March 19, 2007 12:41 PM
"Are you sure you're a Cro-Magnon? Because you were weaving like a goddamn Neanderthal out there."
Posted by: Patrick Broderick | March 19, 2007 12:42 PM
"Thor, not Inor! Man, this Apple Newton is from the stone ages."
Posted by: mypalmike | March 19, 2007 12:45 PM
“...the attempted sneaker-bombing of American Airlines 63, the beheading of Daniel Pearl, the shooting of Sean Bell, SARS, FEMA, the RIAA, leggings, the assassination of James A. Garfield, original sin, 9/11, that upcoming 9/11 movie starring Adam Sandler, Adam Sandler, the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, the Lusitania, the Challenger, Supertrain, The CW, the sinking of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald, the singing of the ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,’ the placement of one ‘bop’ in the ‘bop-she-bop-she-bop,’ Milli and/or Vanilli, the wheel, the Segway, chick lit, trans fat, new Coke, Crystal Pepsi, Dane Cook, Gary Cherone, Katherine Harris, Jarts, the Black Hole of Calcutta, and, er, ‘The Black Hole of Yomama.’ Now, is there anything else you’d like to confess to, Mr. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed?”
Posted by: J | March 19, 2007 12:49 PM
"What an anachronism! Everybody knows the zero wasn't invented until well after the agricultural revolution, you clod!"
"That was 2006 on the radio, they told me to tell you that, yes, I am Jewish and, yes, you are under arrest."
"Mayor Rizzo doesn't care if you're Ira Einhorn's lawyer or Richardson Dilworth's grandmother, you're not getting into Philadelphia without a haircut, boy."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | March 19, 2007 12:58 PM
Yeah, well... I don't really like my job, either.
Posted by: Ogdred | March 19, 2007 1:06 PM
That's a pretty dress, by the way.
Posted by: Ogdred | March 19, 2007 1:07 PM
Listen, you're already in enough trouble, buddy. Don't make me add a solicitation charge.
Posted by: Ogdred | March 19, 2007 1:09 PM
"Well, in fact, the missus and I happen to have seen 'Oklahoma' over the weekend, and I don't recall seeing a caveman carrying a big 'O' on stage. Of course, we DID miss the overture."
Posted by: Tim H | March 19, 2007 1:30 PM
Just sign here and I'll let you ride my bike if you let me stick my head repeatedly through that wheel yelling "you can take the kids, but how do you like this Loretta"
Posted by: Joe | March 19, 2007 1:32 PM
Sure, Ted, I miss the "good old days" from time to time... Dressing up like cavemen and riding giant stone wheels across the desert... But, those times are gone
, man. I've got a wife and kids, now. Responsibilities, Ted. A goddamn mortgage. Ya know? Can't you see that this lifestyle is a dead end? You gotta grow up, man. You gotta grow up. Listen, I'm gonna give you the number of a therapist -- and I know! I know what you're gonna say! You don't want some "bullshit head-shrinker" screwing around inside your brain, but she can help you, Ted. She can help you. Just like she helped me.(Sorry, I went over my quota. Won't let it happen again.)
Posted by: Ogdred | March 19, 2007 2:06 PM
"Hey man, don't mention it. Anything for a loyal fan."
Posted by: RichM | March 19, 2007 2:12 PM
"Sir, are you aware you were going 20,000 B.C. in a 2007 A.D. zone?"
Posted by: Francis | March 19, 2007 2:41 PM
"This time-traveling motorcycle sure makes it easy for me to fill my monthly ticket quota."
Posted by: Josh | March 19, 2007 3:08 PM
"It certainly is a big deal, sir. Thanks to you, I've been stuck eating lunch at 'Marietta C_unty Lunch Buffet.' "
"Is that Mr. H-A-R-T or H-E-A-R-T? And this better not be another wiseass fake name, like 'Heywood Jablome.' "
"10-4, Chief. I'll be there right after I finish sketching this giant fiberglass caveman. I want to send it to Bill Griffith."
"I'll let you off with a warning. I just heard on the police radio that my family has been raped and killed by a guy in a caveman suit, so I don't have time to sit here calling in your priors and shit."
Posted by: Trout Almondine | March 19, 2007 4:05 PM
"Mr. Trump called- he's sorry you're stranded with just your breakfast bagel, Ms. O'Donnell."
Posted by: LV | March 19, 2007 4:28 PM
"Do you know how not fast you were going?"
Posted by: danny | March 19, 2007 4:43 PM
Interesting...I always pronounced neanderthal with the soft "th", not "neandertall." You learn something new everyday. Or would that be "someTing new?" tee-hee. I AM good.
Posted by: Amy | March 19, 2007 4:46 PM
"No, this is not a joke. The joke is your hair."
Posted by: J.D. | March 19, 2007 4:51 PM
This is how you roll?
Posted by: Amy | March 19, 2007 4:52 PM
This would make a nice planter.
Posted by: Amy | March 19, 2007 4:53 PM
"I'm writing you a ticket for loitering."
Posted by: John Tabin | March 19, 2007 5:07 PM
"'No pushing an "O" without a patent.' Didn't you take the test?"
Posted by: Michael S | March 19, 2007 8:14 PM
"Manny's Bikes- they're just on the other side of town; here's their address. I think you'll find their unicycle to be a much more comfortable ride."
Posted by: Anonymous | March 19, 2007 8:35 PM
"I could let you go for some Pebbles.....not rocks, if you know what I mean."
Posted by: Vin Coca | March 19, 2007 8:50 PM
Oh, my God! You live in a cave man!
Posted by: Vin Coca | March 19, 2007 8:53 PM
"For starters I'm pissed that your wheel is rounder than either of mine."
Posted by: doc | March 19, 2007 9:05 PM
"That may be considered good hygiene in Europe, boy. But 'round here, trying to pass off as clean by sticking a giant urinal cake in your armpit just ain't gonna cut it."
Posted by: Brad Bannister | March 19, 2007 9:08 PM
"A plaster caster of your what?!"
Posted by: Brad Bannister | March 19, 2007 9:09 PM
"I don't care if Ms. O'Donnel has no good use for a Today's Sponge or not. The point is it wasn't yours to take."
Posted by: Brad Bannister | March 19, 2007 9:12 PM
"Name your price on that big yummy donut, Mr. Unga. And tell me who to make this check out to."
Posted by: Brad Bannister | March 19, 2007 9:16 PM
Office to himself (sweating, teeth gritted): "Just..focus..on...ticket...something bout...that..big moist donut...getting...me...all...hot and...bothered."
Posted by: Brad Bannister | March 19, 2007 9:20 PM
"Aaaaand here's my insurance info. You're sure you're not hurt?"
Posted by: Francis | March 20, 2007 1:02 AM
"Something about those pretty lips tells me we can find a way to make this ticket go away."
Posted by: J.D. | March 20, 2007 1:55 AM
So you came out of the time portal you're leaning on, into 1960 to steal a moo-moo, and have been living on that volcano in the background ever since?
Posted by: Jake D | March 20, 2007 5:21 AM
Sir, I'm afraid it's physically impossible for you to ride that vehicle.
Posted by: David | March 20, 2007 12:13 PM
"Do you have any idea how fast you were going? I clocked you at the speed of light, which explains how you traveled through time."
Posted by: Hookah | March 20, 2007 12:35 PM
No, I always saw myself as more Jon than Ponch.
Posted by: gray nixon | March 20, 2007 12:37 PM
...And then the President saves the White House from the terrorists. Anyway, I appreciate you forwarding along my script to your agent.
Posted by: Jason Pettus | March 20, 2007 12:43 PM
"I get why Oprah makes white guys push around heavy rocks to advertise her magazine. I just don't get why you put up with it."
"I make a left at the Dark Ages, keep going straight until the Iron Age, when I come to the dawn of smelting, I make a hard right which takes me straight to the Stone Age. If I hit the Paleolithic, I've gone too far. Thanks."
"Goddamn hippie freak."
Posted by: nell | March 20, 2007 1:07 PM
"The hours here are Pleistocene."
Posted by: mypalmike | March 20, 2007 1:12 PM
I keep hearing that rock and roll is dead. This ticket is for confusing me.
Posted by: Charles | March 20, 2007 1:28 PM
"Just as I thought. Stoned."
Posted by: Eric | March 20, 2007 2:24 PM
"I like crushing kittens with rocks as much as the next guy, pal, but I don't go out and block traffic to do it."
Posted by: Eric | March 20, 2007 2:26 PM
"Yep, that's the virgin sacrifice volcano right over there. But you can't cross directly to it. It's much farther than it looks. Here, I'll draw you a map. I'd take you myself, but I'm they need my bike and uniform for the virgin kidnapping plan."
Posted by: Eric | March 20, 2007 2:29 PM
"Tell you what. You help me pick up these giant baseball caps and we'll call it even, OK?"
Posted by: Tim H | March 20, 2007 3:37 PM
"You can complain about racial profiling to your congressman, mister. I'm just doing my job."
"I gotta say, I'm impressed. I didn't think it was possible to do 140 in a Ford Torus."
Posted by: Rubrick | March 20, 2007 3:39 PM
You must think it's funny to have the hole squadron eating at a place with the sign reading Dunkin D nuts.
Posted by: Joe | March 20, 2007 7:18 PM
"Sorry to bother you, but there's an APB out for an escaped mental patient who's been tying up coeds with a giant roll of packing tape and then tossing them off bridges. Here's my phone number in case you remember seeing anything suspicious."
Posted by: David John | March 20, 2007 7:55 PM
"You were doing 80 in a 65 zone. I'll let you off with a warning this time, but in the future, keep it under the limit, okay? You'll get where you're going eventually, I promise."
Posted by: Rubrick | March 20, 2007 7:55 PM
Big trouble, bub. I'm the fashion police. Nah, just kidding
Posted by: Scrumpy | March 20, 2007 8:27 PM
Speak up - what are you a fucking mime?
Posted by: LW | March 20, 2007 9:25 PM
Can you tell me why I stopped you today? No of course you can't, you're a minimally intelligent pre-verbal neanderthal with only the faintest, subtlest whisper of thought flitting unanchored and evanescent through your pea sized brain. I'm guessing you don't have insurance either.
Posted by: simsburybear | March 20, 2007 9:58 PM
"A giant washer? That's it? What a relief. The last time a suspect dragged me out here at exactly 7:00p.m., I found my wife's head in a box."
Posted by: David John | March 20, 2007 11:22 PM
Lemme guess -- you were a 'child left behind.'
One more smartass remark out of you pal and I'll beat you back to the Stone Age.
Posted by: Dex | March 20, 2007 11:41 PM
"Ok, let me see if I got this. You say last week's winner was: 'An assault on your comic sensibilities in that the mildly humorous, predictable irony was completely overwhelmed by the utter lack of imagination and sophistication'...Sir, you're a caveman, that's not very sophis...Oh,I see your point."
Posted by: Anonymous | March 21, 2007 2:50 AM
"I am a New York City cop and you are a caveman, so I'm writing you a ticket. If you were Caribbean or African I might sodomize you with the handle of a toilet plunger, or shoot you dozens of times, continuing after you fall so the coroner would find entry wounds in the soles of your feet."
Posted by: J.D. | March 21, 2007 7:06 AM
No donuts in the parking lot.
Posted by: Carl G | March 21, 2007 9:13 AM
"I don't care if her daddy's a big wheel down at the plant..."
Posted by: Kevin Guilfoile | March 21, 2007 9:37 AM
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge.
Posted by: Andrew | March 21, 2007 12:12 PM
I finally figured it out! We knew you were a smuggler, we searched you again and again, but we never found anything. That's because, all this time, what you've really been smuggling is big stone wheels!
Posted by: Walt | March 21, 2007 12:31 PM
"Hold on. You expect me to believe that story about your hurrying to get to a surprise party for Oliver Stone?"
Posted by: Tim H | March 21, 2007 12:45 PM
"I don't care when you have to be at the tic-tac-toe festival. Your buddy "x" got there without speeding, didn't he?"
Posted by: Greg | March 21, 2007 1:07 PM
Your plates are expired.
Posted by: Ben Steele | March 21, 2007 2:38 PM
Do you want fries with that?
Posted by: Les | March 21, 2007 5:03 PM
Sorry Mum, but the law is the law.
Posted by: Les | March 21, 2007 5:06 PM
Well, you're licensed as a Neanderthal, but your cranial structure is distinctly Rhodesian. Normally I'd let you off with a warning, but I'm more than a little creeped out that you don't seem to be wearing any underwear.
Posted by: Dave | March 21, 2007 6:21 PM
um, fashion police, that outfit was so... 1 million years ago, "rip... rip... rip..., literally!
Posted by: Agatha Umbra | March 21, 2007 10:51 PM
"No Sir, this won't be on World's Scariest Police Chases."
Posted by: Gene | March 21, 2007 10:52 PM
um, we have a problem, I can't haul you and the donut, um, well maybe just one bite, mmmmmm, one more, oh ya another, oh ya that feels good, DUDE, I need to get to school, okay one more bite, OH WELL THERE GOES EXTRA CREDIT!!!
Posted by: Hagelinas Sarathine | March 21, 2007 10:57 PM
So you're Dick Chaney's long lost brother, rushing him a replacement sphincter. What is that behind you, a turtle?
Posted by: Jake D | March 22, 2007 11:44 AM
"Hey, if I let you off with a warning, that would mean I'd have to let everyone
who was pushing a giant concrete wheel down the highway off with a warning...ha, ha, ho,ho, hee, hee. That's a real good one, isn't it?"
Posted by: Greg | March 22, 2007 12:44 PM
"It is a lovely ring. However, you were speeding, and no, I don't care if your future fiancee is waiting for you. She seems delightful, from what you're telling me, however."
Posted by: Greg | March 22, 2007 12:56 PM
“A very interesting story, Ms. Réage, but I’m afraid I’ll still have to give you a ticket. As for 'your punishment'... Just pay the fine, ma’am. Just pay the fine.”
Posted by: J | March 22, 2007 1:51 PM
"Eighty-eight centimeters dilated! No wonder you were in a hurry. C'mon follow me."
Posted by: danny | March 22, 2007 3:35 PM
"Normally, I'd beat you. But I suspect your club is bigger than mine."
Posted by: Martin E | March 22, 2007 11:46 PM
So you never got a patent, huh? I had to learn that the hard way myself. Fucking pasta-straining pot. It cooks and drains pasta. Get it? Here, let me draw you a picture.
Posted by: lil miss poland spring | March 22, 2007 11:46 PM
Don't you know cars made before 1980 are responsible for most of the world's pollution?
Posted by: lil miss poland spring | March 22, 2007 11:50 PM
"Man, this is almost as weird as the time I stopped Ginsberg for rolling a giant doobie."
Posted by: M Edwards | March 22, 2007 11:59 PM
"Yes, the Law of Time states that instantaneously infinite velocity can yeild paranormal phenomena. But you still have to wear your seat belt, sir."
Posted by: al in la | March 23, 2007 3:35 AM
"Manny's Bikes- they're just on the other side of town; here's their address. I think you'll find their unicycle to be a much more comfortable ride." (anonymous was me)
Posted by: Michael | March 23, 2007 12:15 PM
"You're getting off easy, pal. Did you see 'Easy Rider?'"
Posted by: Michael | March 23, 2007 12:17 PM
"a hunga bunga unga bunga boonga danny devito unga hunga drunk, the view."
Posted by: mr. pickycapellit | March 23, 2007 1:55 PM
"As we really no longer live in a democratic republic governed by the rule of law, I am not so much an officer of the peace as I am a hired thug protecting the interests of corporate megalomaniacs. I am telling you because anybody except a neanderthal would know that."
Posted by: J.D. | March 23, 2007 2:12 PM
Do you add the celery to the gumbo before or after you make the roux?
Posted by: Maxwell Hammer | March 23, 2007 3:36 PM
"OK; you say there are four guys drowning in the lake, and you need to throw them a life-saver; but I'm not buying it - that's a wheel, and I say it's unregistered."
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 23, 2007 4:11 PM
1. "I'll ask the questions here."
2. "I assume TG Gibbon submitted "Fire" to the real NYer contest as well."
3. "'Homo erectus'; is that some kind of joke?"
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 23, 2007 4:19 PM
"In the internet age, even the Yapese can put out an APB; so you're busted."
Posted by: IknowImOverMyLimit | March 23, 2007 4:34 PM
"I had you clocked at 90 down that last hill."
Posted by: StopMeBeforeICaptionAgain | March 23, 2007 4:40 PM
Bribing an officer with a giant donut. How primitive!
Posted by: JC | March 23, 2007 5:26 PM
You don't speak much English, you've obviously disabled a transportation system, and you live in a cave. That's it pal, I'm calling Homeland Security.
Posted by: Dex | March 23, 2007 6:01 PM
“Just last night my girlfriend was looking to achieve the Big O. Her day job is being over the EVROLET plant.”
Posted by: Feb | March 23, 2007 6:45 PM
"I understand. You had to get away from your former life, to break free from the bonds of society and just do your own thing. The rolling rock, the open road, the wind in your hair. I hear you, man. Me, I left my job as an accountant just a few months back. My brother and I started the business a decade ago. We were very successful, even, raking in the money. But I was never happy. And I never could be, cooped up in an office all day. Yes sir, this motorcycle and this badge mean the world to me now. Seriously, one day I just stood up, walked out, and never came back. Winchler and Winchler LLC is still back there in the big city, and my brother T. A. deserves a lot of credit for taking over my responsibilities on such short notice."
Posted by: mypalmike | March 23, 2007 7:13 PM
Look pal, I don't care if she said she loved you, Miss Hilton wants her diaphram back and you are going to have to pay for the damage!
Posted by: Stan Bridges | March 24, 2007 1:29 AM
"Give me an H!"
Posted by: Gene | March 24, 2007 7:44 AM
Shut you mouth or I'll also charge you for gross stupidity in thinking you invented an all day lifesaver.
Posted by: David W | March 24, 2007 12:16 PM
The gas companies told me that if you destroy your feuless prototype that I can go ahead and destroy your ticket.
Posted by: David W | March 24, 2007 12:28 PM
"Save it for your blog, No Impact Man."
Posted by: Kevin Guilfoile | March 24, 2007 10:39 PM
"This is for being on the road with an open rolling rock."
"Call me 'sugar tits' again and I'll kick your caveman ass."
Posted by: David F. | March 25, 2007 12:39 AM
"Sir, you'll get your chance to tell your 'mutant lions stole my whip and my clothes' story to the judge. Me, I'm just a cop."
Posted by: RichM | March 25, 2007 8:14 AM
"You may have heard of my favorite invention - the BATHTUB!"
Posted by: Gene | March 25, 2007 8:32 AM
"Christ, what an asphalt-hole."
Posted by: John Tabin | March 25, 2007 8:33 AM
"That's how you've been getting around since the Cretaceous era? Mmmmmaahhhh- doh-nuttt....
Huhhn? what's that??"
Posted by: Michael | March 25, 2007 1:06 PM
Do you know how fast you were evolving?
Posted by: Tim F | April 2, 2007 4:32 PM
Late for the "Concept Car" competition at the auto show? - I don't think so."
Posted by: stcoleridge | April 12, 2007 12:08 PM