Help My Pro-Life Hoax Live
It was obvious to some of us from the start that the Help My Baby Live site was a hoax. But is it a meaningful hoax?
Eh, probably not. My initial suspicion was that it was a pro-choice message you know, "let's see if they'll put their money where their mouths are" or possibly a straightforward for-profit scam but the snoops at Democratic Underground say the hoaxer is a pro-life wingnut, so I guess the message is supposed to be, "pro-choicers are even more sick than you imagined." Not that my version couldn't have worked. Indeed, Snopes says it was tried a year ago.
Interestingly (sort of) the pro-life message is undermined a bit by one of the e-mails sent to the site, which offers a pro-life evangelical's rationalization for abortion. It's a long message, so I won't reprint it all (if you want to read it, search for the author's name, "eve melancon"), but the key part is at the beginning.
I SAT HERE FOR A LONG TIME BEFORE I COULD ACTUALLY RESPOND TO YOUR REQUEST. I FELT CONVICTION FOR NOT WANTING TO SAVE A LIFE. (I AM PRO-LIFE) AND THEN I FELT ANGRY AT YOU FOR PUTTING ME IN THAT POSITION. THEN AS I THOUGHT ABOUT IT I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I FEEL COMFORTABLE IN ALLOWING THIS CHILD TO BE RETURNED TO ITS RIGHTFUL PLACE. LET IT GO!!
First of all, you know this is an authentic e-mail by her use of "conviction" in the sense of "made to feel bad," which is a Christianese phrase that a parodist is unlikely to know (caveat, I'd actually expect her to say "I felt convicted"). And then she gets to the heart of the argument: you guys will be such bad parents that the baby will be better off dead with Jesus. This is reiterated at the end.
SO PLEASE I BEG OF YOU LET IT GO!!!! GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT BETTER THAN YOU AND YOUR YOUNG WIFE EVER WILL.
Now, this should not be taken as pro-life doctrine you'll never find an anti-abortion group endorsing this line of thinking but it is revealing as an extreme case of how fundamentalists can find spiritual endorsement for any decision they want to reach (as well as a twist on the heresy of baby worship). Obviously the woman's real prayer is that the "couple" will go ahead and have the baby, but she's found a way to make peace with the idea of not paying the ransom. It's a slipperly slope. Lots of selfish, unfit, unhinged people get themselves accidentally pregnant every day and, yes, the kids usually suffer for it. Wouldn't God take better care of those kids too? Come to think of it, God would probably take better care of my kids. I mean, I love 'em and everything, but He's perfect. It's hard to compete with that.
Comments
Interesting, because I did assume it was pro-life. Not so much for the "pro-choicers are fucked up" angle, but I read it as an attempt to undermine the most common argument in favor of abortion -- that the parents cannot afford to raise the child properly. Of course, no one needs $50,000 cash to properly raise a child, so it's a clever reductio ad absurdum meant to devastate what is possibly the strongest pro-choice stance there is. (BTW, there's at least a 50% chance I'm using the Latin incorrectly.)
Posted by: Dashiell | June 28, 2007 5:02 PM
You're definitely right about God raising your kids, man. He would totally stick with American Spirit.
Posted by: Vance | June 28, 2007 5:19 PM
"Conviction" was a typo. "Convection" was clearly the intended word.
Posted by: mypalmike | June 28, 2007 7:56 PM
"Of course, no one needs $50,000 cash to properly raise a child..."
Hahahahaha...dear god, your kids must be eating Ronald Reagan's free cheese and wearing grocery bags.
Posted by: bargal20 | June 30, 2007 12:51 AM
Totally sickening scam, regardless of the background politics... I don't know why but it has really pissed me off. This compelled me to make a quick video blog in response this sick topic, check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnRI-9Dy1tk
Posted by: archibot | July 2, 2007 12:25 AM
@ bargal20: You're right. No one making less than $50,000 a year has ever successfully take care of a child.
Posted by: Dashiell | July 2, 2007 10:21 AM