Radosh.net

So, if I went to Australia, would I be a wankie?

Yep, "bikie", that's what they say. (Almost sounds cute, no?)

I moved to Australia from the US a few years ago, and was surprised to find out just how many words here the Australians shorten. Here are a few others:

ambo (ambulance person, eg EMT)
firie (fire fighter)
smoko (smoke break)
brekkie (breakfast)
sickie (sick day)
sanger (sandwich)
sunnies (sunglasses)
aggro (aggravated)
arvo (afternoon)
relos (relatives)
pollies (politicians)

BTW, Confidence Man, if you're American and you went to Australia, you'd be a "seppo".

(That's short for "septic tank", rhyming slang for "Yank" -- though it kind of depends on where you were and the age/class of the people you met as to whether you'd be called that or not.)

I hope that, in about 5-10 years, Americans will be known to hip Aussies as "purries" (Yank -> Purple Drank -> Purple -> purry).

This story forced me to question everything I thought I knew about Australians. I mean, if a biker isn't being killed in a brawl at the airport, how do they even know it's the weekend?

In Australia, am I a Kikie? Or just a New Yikie?

I am guessing there were probably not many black people present at the Sydney airport to witness the bikie murder and mayhem. Institutionalized genocide of Australia's Aborigines reduced their numbers according to some estimates from 1,000,000 at the arrival of the British in 1788 to 30,000 in 1911. Colonials refered to them as animals and were allowed to hunt them for sport well into the 20th century. Modern "reform" measures included forced separation of children from their families for assimilation. 75% identify themselves as Christian today.

Last year's government apology avoided the word holocaust. A Green Party motion to make reparations was voted down in the Senate 64 to 5.

Aborigines currently comprise around 2% of the general population and around 15% of the prison population. 22% are unemployed compared with the national average of 8%. An Aborigine makes an average 25% less in income. Average life expectancy for Aborigines is around 55 years. Drug and alcohol abuse is high. Of the half million Aborigines living today most subsist in third world conditions.

Meanwhile this was a peaceful, highly spiritual race, who traditionally had great reverence for the land, and saw the present world as a dream their grandfathers had.

Uh...yeah. Awkward.

By 2020, commercial fishing will no longer be a viable industry in over two-thirds of maritime countries. Also, my cat died.

Your cat killed those fish, (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/22/opinion/22greenberg.html?scp=2&sq=cat%20food&st=cse), asshole. Your cat, Dick Cheney, and the Queen of England.

Dick Cheney is just a harmless footnote no longer of any consequence, and the Queen simply a quaint superfluous figurehead. Right?