AOL data dump proves it: horny, teen moms love Huckapoo
As you probably know, AOL recently dumped a bunch of user searches online for everyone to see, and then failed to backtrack quickly enough to prevent every asshole on the Internet from rifling around for funny/creepy trends.
Yet somehow, no one has thought to put this data to its most valuable use: constructing a profile of the typical Huckapoo fan — Until now.
According to AOL Search Logs two users searched for Huckapoo between March and May 2006.
User 164431 is fairly easy to figure out. This is a family in or around Palm Beach with a 16-year-old daughter ("sweet 16 party") who is starting to think about her future ("palm beach community college," "william and mary"). Meanwhile, dad is trying to rebuild a refrigerator, and fix up the house, while mom is planning a trip to New York City ("dean and deluca manhattan," "metropolition musuem of art," "neil simon out of towners"), and deaf son is surfing for gay porn. Back in March, Sweet 16 hears about some girl group that would be playing her area in a few months. Sweet 16 digs pop music ("shakira"), so she decides to check it out. She can't quite remember the name, so she searches for the event: SunFest. No luck there — it's a three day fest and the minor bands are buried deep inside the site. So she takes a chance on the spelling: "huk a poo girl band." That's good enough to get her to the New York article, from which she gets the proper name. A series of consecutive searches for "huckapoo" gets her to the official site, Harmony (from whom I snagged the depressing photo above), and, of course, radosh.net. From there she makes some kind of weird intuitve leap and searches for "entertainment properties david marks," the current owner of the Huckapoo brand. Nothing ever comes of this brief flirtation, but a few weeks later, another name is stuck in her head. Or half stuck, anyway: "edward radosh."
Then there's User 6355520. She's a latina pop fan ("enrique iglesias," "shakira," "selena," "jennifer lopez") with some problems in her life: "underage marriage faq," "are you emancipated if you have a baby ny," "is sickle anemia fatal," "what does a baby wear at a funeral," "i lost my police ticket," "i hate charmed." Some of her problems are more serious than others. Teen motherhood has her totally overwhelmed ("cries while breast feeding," "my newborn hiccups too much," "can a 4 week old baby be spoiled," "losing weight after a c section") but she's managing to keep her sense of humor ("jokes how you know you're a latino," "white people jokes"). She's also found a way to escape at least temporarily ("erotic stories," "sex a woman and two men," "masterbation"). Somehow in the middle of all of this she decides to search for "our lips our sealed lyrics" followed by "huckapoo," which brings her to radosh.net. Whatever she was looking for, I sure hope I was able to help.
Somehow, I feel even dirtier than I usually do after writing a Huckapoo post.
Comments
> and the minor bands are buried
> deep inside the site
OK, but Huckapoo should have been right there on the front page, though. Right?
Posted by: Arkady Svidrigailov | August 16, 2006 11:00 AM
Is that "dirtier" as in a Christina Aguilera kind of Dirty?
Posted by: RC | August 16, 2006 2:39 PM
I see that C-Span is replaying that same-old one-sided diatribe horror story congressional hearing insisting on age apartheid again (and again and again), without any balancing statements from the other side.
Where is the other side? Oh, I remember. Right here. Stay the course, Radosh.
Posted by: RC | August 16, 2006 3:57 PM
Age apartheid? Is that your way of saying laws against child pornography? Because if so, I don't think I'm on the course you think I am.
Posted by: radosh | August 16, 2006 4:49 PM
Depending on where your level of hormones are on any given day, probably dictates where you draw the line.
Like the Mary-Kate and Ashley panty pic a while back. OK one in one political climate, not the next.
The breaking of the Jon Benet murder bust story on MSNBC seems peculiarly timed alongside the Internet hearings. The rebroadcast of the age apartheid stuff with all the NBC hype has Bill Gates' prints all over it.
The attempts to outlaw nudist camps and nude beaches and child model sites by Rep. Mark Foley offended me.
The MySpace hysteria offends me. The categorizing of possessing certain pictures a "violent crime" offends me. The laws underway to outlaw adults and youth from Internet chatting together offends me. Abstinence only offends me. The myriad lies they tell in pursuit of their Puritanism offends me. The compiling of entire sexual histories on people by government, offends me.
The non-stop media frenzy against youth sexuality offends me. So does the stacking of the courts with prude judges, and the legislatures with prude legislators, offends me.
US Supreme Court Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr., has named Jeffrey P. Minear, as his new administrative assistant.
These two both worked on Rust v Sullivan, and they also each worked on the US v Microsoft appeal, a case which spawned these extraordinary amicus briefs, located here and here, a rejoinder here.
The rejoinder suggests the anti-trust suit went minimal. These two now hold immense power. You do the math.
Yes, it does become quite scary to not bend and fold the tent of one's beliefs in the face of the size of Gates' might.
Posted by: RC | August 16, 2006 5:50 PM
Bill Gates? What?
Posted by: anno-nymous | August 16, 2006 7:39 PM
I'm confused: Are you calling up other Huck-a-stalkers so you guys can exchange info and have meetings and such, or are you stalking other Huck-a-stalkers?
At some point, y'all should form one big conga line.
Posted by: J | August 17, 2006 9:35 AM
There is an ever diminishing period during summer months when resisting the witch hunt hysterical pogroms against sex porn and nudity is possible. Otherwise, it is "the big chill". It is no mere coincidence that "ICE" is the designation of government's front line targeting sex.
It is important to resist with all the energy one can muster, as far into the fall and winter as possible, because as weather turns cold, the pogroms flare and rage in intensity.
Government needs bogeymen. Sex porn and nudity, especially re "Who will protect the CHILDREN?!!!!" creates a powerful dynamic. This is my area of expertise.
For a long time, the stereotype was, that because a black man had raped a white woman, all black men were the same.
People really want to believe in the bogeyman. People eat this fear mongering up with a spoon. Now substitute "pedophile" for that black man that raped a white woman.
Was it easy for Blacks to escape the stereotyping? Especially when the system prefers to punish the group, not the individual?
Government created the environment that killed Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. They have done the same for anyone that might resist the current anti-nudity, porn and sex pogroms they are now waging.
I know the case well in San Diego where the 16-year-old girl had sex for money in the migrant camp. I wrote early about the coercion to shape her story into a horror tale. I have met and talked to Deputy Rick Castro.
In response, the war on sex crowd tried to turn the "girl's story" into their cause célèbre.
The Landesman account of that incident is based on hyperbole.
It is no small coincidence that Tom Richey has one foot in Microsoft and one foot in DHS. Bill Gates is up to his eyeballs in helping running these pogroms. Windows Vista not spyware? Yeah, Right. They have already boasted as much during their incessant propaganda campaigns waged on [MS]NBC and most other MSM for age apartheid.
And yeah, Huckapoo rocks.
Posted by: RC | August 17, 2006 1:49 PM