May 13, 2005

What's new, Huckapoo?

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If you think I'm an unlikely Huckapoo fan, meet this guy (scroll down to "favorite bands" -- if you can take your eyes of the picture Update: Picture is gone, dammit. Imagine an overly muscular but somehow effiminte looking young black man with a buzz cut). Of course, his favorite actress is Emma Watson, so there is a pattern here.

Anyway, as we wait for reviews of the big May 7 show -- I think Granta is planning one -- here's an assessment of one of the girl's school performances: "Human Relations day at Oceanside High School 05' was probably one of the greatest disappointments of my life. Huckapoo, the now my sterotypical girl group I think I have ever seen in my life, was there. LyKe OmG HuCkApOo!!!!! I promise never to do that again. But they were the worse, and were these little prissy divas, who I was forced to see two times in a row. After the first time I was on the verge of vomiting, the second I was suicidal, and if I saw it a third I saw I would have been homocidal, or so my theory goes."

Personally, I think Oceanside High ought to spend less time on human relations and more on spelling and grammar. Also, not all students are so hateful toward the Huckapoodles, though they are a mite confused about which site is the band's official web presence, if this email I got today is any indication: "I just what to thank you for playing at Long Beach MIddle School. I would like you to send me some hot pictures of you girls!!!!!" You know, when I try that approach, all I get is a restraining order.

Speaking of waiting: Harmony promised an interview with the girls by now. Where is it, kids? (Also, were you really not able to register Huckaharmony.com? What's that about?)

But don't worry, I haven't been spending my waiting time idly. I have been making a list in my head. The inspiration came first from The Confidence Man, who in the comments to this post mused about recruiting Arianna Huffington to form a very post-teen pop band to be called Huffapoo, and then from the unlikely appearance of the nonsense word Hakapoo in The New York Times, which I figure is a teen pop band that only sings banal clichés. Um, wait, that's taken isn't it? Well then, a teen pop band made entirely of cab drivers. Or computer programmers. In any case, you can see what this led to:

Hickapoo -- teen country band
Harkapoo -- teen Christmas carolers
Hookahpoo -- teen pop for stoners
Hechtapoo -- perfromers of an all teen girl version of The Front Page

Posted by Daniel Radosh


The interview is coming soon. It got re-scheduled because of their show last Saturday. We should have a new date tomorrow, hopefully!

And, I'm not sure what you mean about the .com thing?

OH! I almost forgot, you totally stole the word 'Huckapoodle' from me.

Puckapoo -- unemployed NHL players and/or their teen daughters
Hakkapoo -- the pirated Chinese-language version of the original group's recordings
Hulkapoo -- Warren Oates's granddaughters; or, what the band becomes known as after Ang Lee directs a video for them
Honkypoo -- a band of Denise-Richards-esque seductresses in a campy neo-neo-Blaxploitation film
Hawkapoo -- skateboarding punk girls from the OC (the, uh, geographic entity, not the show)
Walkerpoo -- Chuck Norris's granddaughters; or, Huffapoo 15 years down the line, after Arianna breaks her hip

It's very comforting to see Mr. Radosh getting back to what he's expert at here, what he feels most confident about reporting, the world of pubescent girl-bands he knows and understands so deeply.

Oh, for christ's sake, Landesman -- aren't you the one who said, something like two weeks ago, "We're done here?"

Whatever the merits of your original argument, you undermine your case by obsessively pursuing the matter long after the rest of us have stopped caring, and by offering pathetic attacks like this one, which barely rise to the level of schoolyard taunting.

We get it: He hurt your feelings.

Now give it a rest, already.

Not that I'd put it past Landesman to post something like that, but... Well, I don't know anything about IP address conventions, but all PL's other posts originate from addresses beginnning with 80. This one begins with 24. Does this indicate that it's not him, or at least not him writing from the same location?

Landespoo -- 13-year-old girls abducted from their homes in New Jersey and taken to Mexico to be molded into popstars

Daniel -

Was it really 100% of his previous comments that came from an 80 address? The vast majority of those were posted during morning and early afternoon hours, while this is evening - did you check one at a similar time?

At any rate, this comment is so perfectly Landesman that if it's not him, someone is hopefully fashioning a career out of their spot-on impersonation of him. Well done.

If I'm reading this correctly, it looks like the previous batch of posts was sent from Europe, while this one traces to a US cable provider. Most likely explanation: Landesman is now back home after completing a treacherous overseas assigment (with a lot of downtime).

So thanks for joining us again, Peter. You must be aware that it is futile to ridicule someone for posting obsessively about a teen pop band when the ridiculousness of such posts is precisely the effing point. But if you really prefer, I'll be happy to dig up my list of questions about The Girls Next Door if you're willing to answer them now.

Oh, and FAR more importantly. I first used 'Huckapoodle' on August 18, 2004, five days before Huckaharmony even launched. Alexa, you are impugning my ability to coin Huckapoo slang words, which I do at tremendous personal danger to myself and my pregnant wife. I will destroy you and your Huckareer. You will never post about teen pop bands again!

Ah yes, but you don't know how long I've been a fan! Who knows how long I've been using 'Huckapoodle.'

Should've trademarked it while you had the chance, Alexa.

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