Hey everybody. Since I didn't post the original, I'm posting my results as a separate entry, so now you can comment on my amazing choices. Also, new rule: You can only enter 5 times, although I'm pretty sure this is already a rule. I'm lookin' at you, Sam L.
"I think the guy on the roof farted." �The Confidence Man
"You should keep your eyes on the road. We didn't even remotely secure that guy."�t.a.m.s.y.
"Look, no matter what the joke is, there's no way it's going to explain the fact that I haven't shaved in 3 days and am sipping a fuckin' frappuccino."�Phil G.
"Check out that sign up ahead: 'BRIDGE CLEARANCE - 6.5'. Hey... today is June 5th. We could buy a cheap bridge!"�Damon
"Explain it to me again, Vince - why does the guy on the roof get windshield wipers for his eyes, but our car doesn't have any?"�narcoleptic
"Thanks, most folks won't stop for a hitchhiker with a giant ironic chess piece."�David John
"Hey, remember the time we ran out of big buckets and we had to use those tiny, incongruous pails? Oh, never mind, that was the weekend of your jawsectomy."�t.a.m.s.y.
"Woah. That's a nasty-looking accident."�Rubrick