Via The Pinup Blog

3:59 PM :: Comments (8)

Wondering why reading that fake New York Times was exactly like attending one of those interminable political meetings with the most annoying people at your liberal arts college?

Wonder no longer.

Via Gawker

3:21 PM :: Comments (6)

Our hard-fought campaign to overhaul the New Yorker's comma policy vis-a-vis the word "like" gets results!

To recap, the magazine has previously treated all substandard usage of the word "like" as if it were a meaningless interjection (i.e., mistaking an approximation of "said" or "thought" for mere valley-girl hiccuping): "I was, like, 'Oh, where's Arianna?'"

But Radosh.net grammar correspondent Vance Lehmkuhl observes that last week brought a change:

While other brewers were dyeing their beer green for St. Patrick’s Day, Calagione brewed his with blue-green algae. "It tasted like appetizing pond scum," he says. "The first sip, you were like, 'Wow, that tasted like pond scum. But you know what? I kind of want a second sip.'"

A copy-editing slip, or a grammatical revolution? We'll be keeping our eye on future issues to find out!

10:33 AM :: Comments (9)

Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here for last week's results.

First place
"I don't know, lady. I just fucking work here. Do you want one or not" — JohnnyB

Second place
"I can't weigh them- They're not to scale." —Archie Tect

Third place
"So after I killed my wife, I hacked her into eight pieces. But then, each piece turned into a miniature version of my wife and started dancing around. So please, for the love of God, buy them all before I go INSANE!" —MisterHippity

Continue reading "The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #171" »

9:55 AM :: Comments (277)

Perfume (or maybe cologne) spotted in a store on 6th Avenue and 30th Street in Manhattan. Where's my Joe Biden aftershave lotion?

Not an entirely original idea.

1:45 PM :: Comments (7)

According to Newsweek's Michael Isikoff, likely Attorney General Eric Holder "was viewed as a centrist on most law enforcement issues, though he has sharply criticized the secrecy and the expansive views of executive power advanced by the Bush Justice Department."

Though? Though?! Sharp criticism of Bush's radical views is centrist. Bush has the lowest approval rating in presidential history. Can the media stop pretending that by definition he and his cronies represent sensible mainstream thought?

3:36 PM :: Comments (7)

Good new fans of old-school text adventures, a winner has been announced in the 2008 Interactive Fiction Competition.

Bad news fans of escapism: Violet is about "trying to write a 1000 word article while dealing with some unusual distractions."

In the sequel, you face hilarious and exciting situations while trying to get the editor to send your check.

12:13 PM :: Comments (1)

An old Spy acquaintance of mine, Ellis Weiner, has co-written what looks like a very important new book, How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You're Left Behind. On his blog Late for the Sky, anticaptionista JohnnyB is giving away three copies in a Rapture-themed contest that should be right up your alley. Go to it.

10:04 AM :: Comments (5)

Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here for last week's results.

This week's prize: A signed copy of Shut Up, I'm Talking: And Other Diplomacy Lessons I learned in the Israeli Government

First place
"Yeah, that's the thing with Rate My Professor, you never really know who's trashin' ya. TurkeylovingRacist1956 could be anybody." —David John

Second place
"How come I'm in trouble for bringing a turkey to work and nobody gives a shit that you're in blackface?" —Charles

Third place
"Sure, a cup. I should have thought of that independently. Probably less chance of food poisoning and my coffee wont't taste of raw turkey so much. I'm more of a big-picture guy." —Abe

Continue reading "The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #247" »

10:16 AM :: Comments (268)

You start to say things like, "I tend to think that after the world has forgotten Jeff Jarvis, it will still remember Ron Rosenbaum."

I mean, damn, we'll have to wait centuries to confirm that prediction.

2:11 PM :: Comments (3)

It doesn't surprise me that the video game industry is so far defying the consumer confidence crisis. On a cost-per-minute basis, games are one of the best entertainment values around. I've recently been playing the first Rainbow Six Vegas game with a friend, and when something happened to the disc with five levels left to go, I was reluctant to spend $12 on a used replacement copy... until I realized that we were talking about less than $2.50 per level. Not bad for an en evening of entertainment for two people (four, if you count how much fun our wives have rolling their eyes at us).

Still, I won't spend quite as freely on games as some people (which is I'm only playing RSV1 now, after it became widely available used). So I'm looking over the big draws for the holiday season and not feeling terribly confident about any of them.

Continue reading "Also, you save money on food when you only eat Doritos" »

11:51 AM :: Comments (17)

Since I think I've beaten my record for late posting of the anti-caption contest results — click here, as they say, to see if it was worth the wait — I'll try to make up for it with a super awesome prize for next week's contest (#171): a signed copy of Shut Up, I'm Talking by Gregory Levey.

I read this book over the summer and enjoyed it immensely, certainly far more than anyone ought to enjoy a memoir about the inner-workings of the Israeli diplomatic corps. It's a book that will open your eyes, drop your jaw, and, uh, laugh your mouth. No really, it's ridiculously funny. Well-written too. Order your copy today — just in case I never get around to judging next week's contest.

5:31 PM :: Comments (8)

He's made progressives desperately unfunny again!

After eight years of the Onion and the Daily Show and Colbert and too many books and blogs to name, the old saw that liberals had no sense of humor had finally been banished. And then today, in the first big humor statement of the Obama era, the Yes Men produce a New York Times parody that actually parodies nothing but — quite unintentionally — dreary socialist agitprop.

The official site is totally bogged down, so I've posted a few samples after the jump, with commentary. Warning: Reading this will make you want invade Iran and drill for oil in the Grand Canyon.

Continue reading "Obama's first unforgivable act" »

1:25 PM :: Comments (20)

It's one thing for right-wing bloggers to be delusional about George W. Bush. But to be more delusional about George W. Bush than George W. Bush is? That's some serious delusional!

Hindracker:

Obama thinks he is a good talker, but he is often undisciplined when he speaks. He needs to understand that as President, his words will be scrutinized and will have impact whether he intends it or not. In this regard, President Bush is an excellent model; Obama should take a lesson from his example. Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed.

Bush:

I regret saying some things I shouldn't have said... Like "dead or alive," or "bring 'em on." And, by the way, my wife reminded me as president of the United States, you better be careful what you say. I was trying to convey a message. I could have conveyed it more artfully.

12:45 PM :: Comments (3)

11:36 AM :: Comments (2)

Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here for last week's results.

First place
The gypsy's enigmatic words, "You will be haunted by your identical Latino cowboy twin", proved to be prophetic. —Clambone

Second place
"License to practice law? I don't need no stinkin' license to practice law! Oh, wait, yes, I do -- at least in this state. I just moved here from North Carolina. I didn't dress appropriately there either."—Francis

Third place
"Oh yeah? Well YOUR costume demeans people who shop at Men's Wearhouse. Who's the real racist here?" —Arthur

Continue reading "The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #170" »

11:23 AM :: Comments (252)

According to Newsweek, Barack Obama had a problem with stupid debate questions.

I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me ... answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I fucking changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'."

Or, as Newsweek would have it "f---ing." But either way, a-fucking-men. I often find myself uncomfortably at odds with my liberal cohort when it comes to the personal virtues of conservation. Green propaganda — from Starbucks to Wall-E — makes me crazy, not just because it feels so Big Brotherish in its almost-entirely unquestioned ubiquity (and its targeting of very young children) but because it actually undermines the important work that needs to be done for the environment. If people think we can reduce, reuse and recycle our way out of this planetary disaster, they're less likely to focus on what Obama identifies as the collective work of changing large-scale manufacturing and energy production.

And those stupid fucking compact fluorescent bulbs just suck. I'm sorry, they do. They cost a fortune, they don't last anything close to 6 years (more like 6 months), and they make everything look like a hospital room. But thanks to the green-virtue tyranny, Costco doesn't even sell regular bulbs anymore. Just because we elected a socialist, doesn't mean we want to completely abandon the free market.

Obama gets it, but even he dares not cross the green hordes. He can think "the truth" in his head, but say it out loud at a debate... no way.

12:41 PM :: Comments (34)

Obama's not even in office yet and the wingnuts are already screaming for impeachment.

You know what, Bill Kristol? I've thought it over and I'm really not inclined to help cheer you up. Go wallow in your misery, you putz.

Update: Savor this, Peggy.

The Democrats have lost their leader in the Senate, Tom Daschle. I do not know what the Democratic Party spent, in toto, on the 2004 election, but what they seem to have gotten for it is Barack Obama. Let us savor.

8:12 AM :: Comments (7)

"To all my campaign comrades, from Rick Davis and Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter, to every last volunteer who fought so hard and valiantly, month after month..." did it have to be with each other?

8:04 AM :: Comments (1)

"It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America."

12:28 AM :: Comments (11)

Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here for last week's results.

First place
"Remember when you said you couldn't decide between a nice meal out or going to the freak tent at the circus? Well, I've got a surprise for you... I'm fucking your sister." —Mork

Second place
"Here's our sushi. There's no escaping the long arm of the raw." —Damon

Third place
"This is the weirdest restaurant I've ever been in! What's next - a tiny flying saucer emerging from the kitchen trailing a plume of thick exhaust from its tailpipe?" —Vance

Continue reading "The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #168" »

12:14 PM :: Comments (203)

This week's adventures in self-censorship comes from The New York Times, which manages to run a think piece persuasively arguing that the word fuck does not inherently have an indecent sexually connotation, while nonetheless scrupulously avoiding printing the word. The case against censorship is made by the ubiquitous Jesse Sheidlower, who notes that the Times devised (or at least first printed) the euphemism "the F-word" in 1973.

But this article is not why the Times wins the week's avoidance-of-vulgarity race. The clincher came a few days ago, in an article about senator-felon Ted Stevens' return to Alaska. Money quote:

Even before the verdict on Monday, a Stevens supporter printed a new campaign couplet on black T-shirts. The first line proposes doing something unprintable to “the Feds.” The second rhymes cleanly, “Vote for Ted!”

I've often said that one problem with such delicacy is that it is often misleading. To read the New York Times, you would think that Stevens' supporters were wearing shirts that said "Fuck the Feds." They weren't. In fact, the shirts said "F*#@ the Feds." I know this because I saw the shirt clearly visible in the photo that ran alongside the Times article. Not for the first time, the paper linguistically pixilated a phrase while allowing an uncensored image of the same phrase to appear next to it (e.g., the simultaneously "innocent and vulgar" Final Fantasy album "He Poos Clouds").

(That's the shirt on the left. In the print edition it was larger and completely legible.)

That some Times writers and/or editors now consider a pictogram that was created to obscure vulgarity to be itself vulgar only confirms the ridiculousness of such obfuscation. As Times reader Charles J. Smith pointed out "if you have a word in mind and display some symbols to your audience so that the audience realizes what you meant to write, then you have communicated the word to them."

As for why the Times report is misleading and why it may matter, the paper has led people to believe that supporters of Ted Stevens are proudly wearing shirts displaying a vulgarity, despite the fact that they went out of their way to avoid vulgarity, using the same trope as many mainstream periodicals. It is as if I were to say The New York Times this week printed a large photograph of a T-shirt with an unprintable word. It's not true, and Times editors would surely object.

For that matter, if the word is "unprintable," how did they get it to show up on a shirt?

9:53 AM :: Comments (10)