Legolas: "Boromir tempted by Ring. So tedious. Cannot be tempted myself, as already have everything I want, i.e. perfect hair and a butt like granite."
Frodo: "Sam gave me fabulous backrub and bubble bath. Platonic, brotherly love so wonderful. Wasn't quite entirely sure why he needed to suck on my toes."
Gandalf: "Went to Saruman for advice about Ring but he had become evil. Nobody tells me anything. Apparently there was a memo. Radagast the Brown probably stealing paper out of my inbox again."
Pippin: "Sam all wrong about Boromir. Really very nice man. Invited me to go for a walk with him tonight and said he would let me blow his Horn of Gondor. Can't wait."
Arwen: "Too, too, too bored. Perhaps will leave Rivendell in search of adventure, or shopping... Went all the way to the Gap of Rohan only to find there is no Gap in Rohan. Not even a Banana Republic. False advertising!"
"I feel like no matter what I do or say now, the seed of doubt has been planted in Hayley's head. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to undo it." Caught lying to their children, desperate Florida parents do they only thing they can: stand by their story to the bitter end.
By the way, is there a word for subtle editorializing in a URL?
Midwest correspondent Kevin Guilfoile sends in this photo caption from today's Chicago Tribune: "On many college campuses, the social scene often involves getting together with members of the opposite sex in a setting where alcohol is served."
Only Correct. A couple of weeks ago, The New York Times threw a little holiday party for everyone who had contributed to its op-ed page this year. I mostly hid in a corner with Tim. The problem was the tiny name tags, which meant you had to lean in and squint to see if the person was someone you wanted to meet, which further meant that even if it wasn't, you had to talk to them a bit just to be polite, since if you didn't, they would know that you had only been checking out their name tag to see if they were important. Anyway, I exchanged a few words with Bob Wright, and I wanted to tell him that I thought he'd written the most important essay of the year, but in a panic, I thought maybe someone else had actually written it, and how humiliating would it be to say something like that and get it wrong.
I also had a nice conversation with Rick Brookhiser, whom I'd met many years ago, and his utterly charming wife, Jeanne Safer. And by "utterly charming," I mean, of course, that she complimented something I'd written. In fact, something I'd written ages ago, and had pretty much forgotten: a 1995 installment of my New York Press column Knee Jerk, which was the column that I started writing after I burned out on the decidedly more popular Eight Days. And today I realized that the column Jeanne liked so well just happened to be one of the few that I still have on my computer. So herewith, a look at The New York Times corrections page, circa 1995.
Eminem makes Steve Earle look like Toby Keith: Why hasn't anyone noticed? Here's an advance look at my piece on the most gleefully unpatriotic artist of the year, and his utter failure to generate outrage from the culture cops. It will also appear in the next issue of Radical Society, the smashing journal of politics, academia, and pop culture that for many years was a much more tired journal of politics, politics, and more politics called Socialist Review. Gina Sue and her colleagues revived and renamed it, and have created a smart, fun, thought-provoking publication that gives voice to a genuinely diverse mix of left-leaning opinion. Apparently you can request a free copy. I'm not sure if there's some criteria you have to meet to get one, but it's well worth trying.
I'll be reading, along with others, from 101 Damnations in Brooklyn this Thursday. Here are the details.