Bonus Anti-Cap Contest!
al in la
ORIGINAL ANTI-CAP WINNER As selected by D. Radosh 4/16/06
No! He's being strangled by his own necktie and those men are trying to help him! Jesus, you're negative and morbid and possibly psycho." �simsburybear
UP-DATED ANTI-CAP WINNER As selected by al in la 6/21/10
"Between you and me? Sam didn't really rape a blind 10-year old girl and than leave her to die in a garbage dump. I just sent that email to liven things up around here." --SADD
Comments
"He's late posting the cartoon again."
Posted by: c1w | June 14, 2010 4:53 PM
"It's really very simple, just sort throught the captions and pick the funniest ones. Your predecessor loved the job but had to leave for reasons I can't go into right now."
Posted by: al in la | June 14, 2010 4:55 PM
"So tell me ... why did you leave your last job?"
Posted by: Joe | June 14, 2010 5:17 PM
"Yes, I think ALinLA is working out quite nicely... why do you ask?!"
We expect Mr. Bond to die."
"The position isn't available... yet"
"Well... He DID start it!"
Posted by: Johnny V | June 14, 2010 5:20 PM
"Don't worry. It's just Roger McGaugh."
Posted by: Anonymouse | June 14, 2010 5:23 PM
"Yes, we're very strict about term limits around here."
Posted by: Tim H | June 14, 2010 5:24 PM
"I have just one question: Why did you pee the name Cheney in my rug?"
Posted by: Kathy H | June 14, 2010 5:26 PM
"His name's Fusilli. And he's a crazy bastard."
Posted by: Kathy H | June 14, 2010 5:29 PM
he tried to go anti-capless
Posted by: Amy E | June 14, 2010 5:48 PM
"Management has decided to move in a new direction."
Posted by: Jess | June 14, 2010 5:59 PM
We have a zero tolerance policy here for homosexuality (and Roger McGaugh).
Posted by: beeswax | June 14, 2010 6:07 PM
"If you meet your quota, you'll do very well. But I have to warn you, every year we eliminate the bottom 10% of our workforce."
Posted by: Richard H | June 14, 2010 6:31 PM
"For the first six months, we don't actually give you a target. You are the target."
Posted by: Richard H | June 14, 2010 6:33 PM
"Just tell me about your strengths. If we hire you, that's when we'll start looking for your weaknesses."
Posted by: Richard H | June 14, 2010 6:53 PM
"Let's imagine a hypothetical situation in which you are being attacked by three men, one with a gun, one with a baseball bat and one with an ax. How would you react?"
Posted by: Richard H | June 14, 2010 6:55 PM
"Him? We caught him in his office having his way with an alligator."
Posted by: ali_gaytor | June 14, 2010 7:30 PM
"Do you think this desk makes my cock look small?"
Posted by: yourboss | June 14, 2010 7:43 PM
Thanks for sharing this bonus cartoon. But I don't quite understand what it's trying to convey.
Posted by: Z. Samuel | June 14, 2010 8:01 PM
"Good work on the emergency response plan, Duane. You never know when a handgun, a whiffle ball bat, and a pole axe might come in handy."
Posted by: c1w | June 14, 2010 9:00 PM
"Can you carry an axe better than that guy?"
Posted by: c1w | June 14, 2010 9:04 PM
"What did you see yourself doing a few years ago?"
Posted by: dss | June 14, 2010 10:13 PM
"How fast can you run?"
Posted by: NAMBY | June 14, 2010 10:35 PM
"Welcome to Arizonia! You're not Mexican, are you?"
Posted by: Tess | June 14, 2010 10:39 PM
"Don't worry, he's retarded. This cartoon's a 're'-run."
Posted by: Grandma | June 15, 2010 10:09 AM
"So a gunman, a guy with a bat, and an axe-wielder walk into a bank... hey, why the long face?"
Posted by: Glenn | June 15, 2010 10:16 AM
Do you have any experience running in a mob while carrying a pitchfork or a torch?
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 15, 2010 10:51 AM
I like the open air office design, but it doesn't really fit in with the nondescript warehouses on the adjacent corners.
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 15, 2010 10:52 AM
This is why I love being in organized crime. People dress nicer than those gang members and you can work indoors more.
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 15, 2010 10:55 AM
Oh, and one last thing: casual Fridays are now Casualty Fridays.
Posted by: mort drucker | June 15, 2010 11:19 AM
I'm going to be very up front. If you need every little random act of violence explained to you, you're probably not
Pensky material.
Posted by: mort drucker | June 15, 2010 11:22 AM
Yes, sir. We can make it look like an accident. Just take a look here at one of our colorful brochures.
Posted by: Amy E | June 15, 2010 11:35 AM
"If hired, where do you see yourself being buried?"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2010 1:13 PM
"Oh, that guy was caught trying to bone the office cat without any foreplay...not any at all."
Posted by: Mother T. | June 15, 2010 1:23 PM
"No, I wouldn't say we're overly competitive. Where did you hear that?"
Posted by: Dave | June 15, 2010 1:32 PM
"The funny thing is, those three guys with the weapons don't even work here."
Posted by: blw | June 15, 2010 2:45 PM
“So, you’re a film buff, Mr. Whitmore? Are you familiar with Cornel Wilde in ‘The Naked Prey’?”
Posted by: blw | June 15, 2010 3:07 PM
“Oh, we’ll keep you running, Mr. Wilson, don’t you worry about that!”
Posted by: blw | June 15, 2010 3:07 PM
“Well, it’s your lucky day, Mr. Johnson. Looks like there’ll be an opening after all!”
Posted by: blw | June 15, 2010 3:08 PM
“Yes, we do take our Dress Code seriously around here. A suit or sport coat is mandatory . . . unless you’re carrying the axe, of course.”
Posted by: blw | June 15, 2010 3:09 PM
"Suffice it to say that the purpose of Workplace Violence Awareness Week has been misunderstood."
Posted by: McBall-Gaughrgler | June 15, 2010 4:18 PM
"In Russia, job lands you...in the hospital."
Posted by: Masked and Anonymous | June 15, 2010 5:16 PM
"No, Mister Keller, your deafness should not be a problem in this position - you would not fucking believe what's going on! Ack, did I just use the F-word?
Posted by: Glenn | June 15, 2010 6:08 PM
"Wow! That guy's a pussy."
Posted by: Arnold | June 15, 2010 6:51 PM
"Working here at Zamboni... I guess you might say it can be an unusual place to work. For one thing, you've probably noticed the offices are designed to look like a hockey rink. Cool, huh? And for another, we're a proud Italian-American company, so we tend to threaten, extort, and maim people who don't do stuff right. Capiche?"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 15, 2010 11:49 PM
"Between you and me? Sam didn't really rape a blind 10-year old girl and than leave her to die in a garbage dump. I just sent that email to liven things up around here."
Posted by: SADD | June 16, 2010 2:09 AM
"You've heard of 'Fuck, Marry, Kill,' I assume? Yes, well this is just the Sicilian version."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | June 16, 2010 6:00 AM
"Well, it's true, our current redundancy package leaves some room for uncertainty but don't you think the planes would cost a lot, Mr. Atta?"
[retro cartoon gets retro caption]
Posted by: TG Gibbon | June 16, 2010 6:05 AM
"Do you work well with others?"
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 16, 2010 12:36 PM
"They're gonna put an anti-cap in his ass."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 16, 2010 12:39 PM
"We've had a few problems with Nazi Zombies lately but despite that this is a great company to work for."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 16, 2010 12:45 PM
"Actually, could you start today?"
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 16, 2010 12:48 PM
"Er...Mr. Williams, since you're interviewing me, shouldn't you be sitting behind the desk?"
Posted by: Tim H | June 16, 2010 12:50 PM
"Mr. Anon-Mouse, stop playing footsies and put your shoes on, your corns are smelling up my office."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 16, 2010 12:52 PM
"Oh look - they're playing one of our office games. I guess Harry's the negro this time."
Posted by: Damon | June 16, 2010 4:06 PM
The hours here are mob scene.
Posted by: brian l | June 16, 2010 4:35 PM
“Number One Rule around here? Leave your personal issues at home.”
Posted by: left coast wayne | June 16, 2010 5:33 PM
"One word, and I mean one word of this, and you're next. GOT IT! By the way, you're hired, you mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 16, 2010 7:56 PM
Understand that one condition for your employment is you bring your own weapon. We don't need another Axey-come-Lately if you know what I mean!
Posted by: Anonymous | June 16, 2010 7:57 PM
Fight Club was the beginning, now it's moved out of the basement, it's called Project Mayhem.
Posted by: CEO Durden | June 16, 2010 10:54 PM
"Just try not to lose any of your existing accounts. If you do, it affects the whole group bonus."
Posted by: Richard H | June 17, 2010 1:08 PM
"If you do well here you may get bumped up to the Daily Show."
Posted by: c1w | June 17, 2010 2:08 PM
"We've decided that it's the only way we're going to win the Corporate Challenge Road Race."
Posted by: Tim H | June 17, 2010 3:49 PM
"Ok, here's my final interview question: If you are chasing an unarmed man, would you choose an axe, a bat or a handgun?"
Posted by: cta | June 17, 2010 6:03 PM
"Sheesh, cta is in trouble again! Oh, that reminds me I have to explain our rules of de minimis use of the internet"
Posted by: cta | June 17, 2010 6:08 PM
"Well, I should probably tell you... We're currently in the midst of a hostile takeover."
Posted by: cta | June 17, 2010 6:18 PM
I bet that's the last time Tony Hayward comes to buy his shrimp wholesale.
Posted by: boneguy | June 17, 2010 11:43 PM
No, you misheard me. I said we were herding the thin.
Posted by: boneguy | June 18, 2010 12:18 AM
"...and if some of the other guys want to fuck you, it's best to let them have their way."
Posted by: Jess Sayin | June 18, 2010 3:54 AM
"Here at AIG we pride ourselves on -- Oh crap! Who let the public in again? Run!"
Posted by: cta | June 18, 2010 12:36 PM
"Around here we call it Incredibly Excitable Fridays."
Posted by: Kathy H | June 18, 2010 12:58 PM
Oh Mike, that reminds me we have to get better at submitting those timesheets.
Posted by: Big Richie | June 18, 2010 3:08 PM
That's just the one guy who didn't buy-in on the Kobe\MVP love fest
Posted by: ESPN Stu | June 18, 2010 3:12 PM
"Winning the office pool AND reminding everyone that Kobe likes to ass-rape concierges was just too much for the guys to take."
Posted by: Jack (my two-year-old son) | June 18, 2010 4:43 PM
Oh, That's just Anonymouse, McGaugh, et. al. playing Keystone Caps.
Posted by: Capper | June 18, 2010 10:30 PM
I'm a big fan, Mr. alinla, but judging caption contests isn't really a job skill.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | June 18, 2010 10:42 PM
"It's part of our 'don't ask, don't tell' policy."
Posted by: Dave | June 18, 2010 11:35 PM
It took a while, but we finally found the guy who designed the blowout preventer.
Posted by: boneguy | June 19, 2010 12:20 AM
I hope BP stands for 'bulletproof'
Posted by: Maggie T on the thames | June 19, 2010 2:43 AM
Oh, you know how it is — boys will be boys!
Posted by: Konrad Schwoerke | June 19, 2010 12:28 PM
Let's hurry and wrap this up; the office party has apparently already started.
Posted by: Konrad Schwoerke | June 19, 2010 12:32 PM
You're not an asshole too, are you?
Posted by: Konrad Schwoerke | June 19, 2010 12:54 PM
We have a very strict sexual harassment policy here at Ducks Unlimited.
Posted by: Konrad Schwoerke | June 19, 2010 2:48 PM
Oh jeez, they're going to kill that poor man! Quick, what's the number for nine one one?
Posted by: Konrad Schwoerke | June 19, 2010 3:00 PM
No Mr. Bond, I expect you to hire.
Posted by: CRC | June 19, 2010 4:37 PM
"Oh, it's nothing. We've just adopted a new exit interview strategy."
Posted by: Dave | June 19, 2010 8:00 PM
They made up the Mets' outfield in '07. Don't worry, they can't catch anything.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | June 19, 2010 8:44 PM
We need a spokesman here at BP who is a little more, er, evasive.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | June 19, 2010 8:45 PM
What I mean by "severance package" will become clearer to you when they bring me this guy's nut sack.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | June 19, 2010 9:05 PM
"He tried to submit one of the original entries."
Posted by: Glenn | June 20, 2010 7:54 AM
No Mr. Bond, I expect you to apply.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | June 20, 2010 7:53 PM
you don't want to fuck with Shady Inc. Cause Shady Inc. will fucking kill you.
Posted by: Brian L | June 20, 2010 9:21 PM
"This week, it's a fight to the death. There can only be one winner."
Posted by: Richard H | June 21, 2010 9:54 AM