The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #244
al in laSubmit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon.
WINNER
"I think now she's right about here. Sorry about bringing him in on 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'."-- LV
SECOND PLACE
"Don't be naive, Barbara."--Mike Mariano
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"He ate the dog that ate my winning lottery ticket."--dwilk
For additional Honorable Mentions and a Judge's Comment for each winner, go here.
Comments
"No I can't come to the CEO's office immediately, Miss Jones. I have an erection."
Posted by: Richard H | June 7, 2010 6:27 AM
"He's sleeping...with my wife. Don't tell anybody."
Posted by: Rob | June 7, 2010 6:27 AM
"Do my tears look real to you?"
Posted by: Richard H | June 7, 2010 6:28 AM
"And who exactly is complaining about my new painting?"
Posted by: Richard H | June 7, 2010 6:42 AM
"Because it's Bring Your Wife To Work Day, asshole!"
Posted by: dwilk | June 7, 2010 6:50 AM
Yes, I'm taking requests. What can I play for you?
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 7, 2010 7:39 AM
Would you like to hear crocodile rock?
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 7, 2010 7:40 AM
No, Miss Findlay, I asked to to find me a tile rep!
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 7, 2010 7:42 AM
"Don't be naive, Barbara."
Posted by: Mike Mariano | June 7, 2010 8:55 AM
"See you later, Joan."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 7, 2010 9:13 AM
"It's the new A-Pad. It looked much cooler when Steve Jobs used it."
Posted by: c1w | June 7, 2010 9:19 AM
His heart finally stopped, Mrs, Cheney.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | June 7, 2010 9:19 AM
"All BP employees get to have one dead animal for the day. It's supposed to give us empathy."
Posted by: Glenn | June 7, 2010 9:22 AM
"I'll bet Urban Meyer is cheering right now."
Posted by: Glenn | June 7, 2010 9:23 AM
(ack - s/b Jimbo Fisher)
Posted by: Glenn | June 7, 2010 9:25 AM
"Actually he was here before we put up this building and the Fish and Wildlife Act required that we keep him right where he was."
Posted by: Kathy H | June 7, 2010 9:25 AM
"Could you give us a moment, please? My friend here thinks he's a crocodile, when, of course, we know he's not."
Posted by: Tim H | June 7, 2010 9:28 AM
"Never mind...I found my wallet."
Posted by: Wile E. Chipotle | June 7, 2010 9:43 AM
Jones, from Global Sales, hasn't been to work since Tuesday, so I thought I'd look
here.
Posted by: boneguy | June 7, 2010 9:52 AM
Tastes remarkably like chicken.
Posted by: boneguy | June 7, 2010 9:52 AM
"This won't help...it has a cloaca."
"I've been working on it for a week, and I'm pretty sure this is the top."
"I'm constantly torn between the desire to create, and the desire to destroy."
Posted by: Trout Almondine | June 7, 2010 10:48 AM
"Sela, later...alligator."
Posted by: Damon | June 7, 2010 10:54 AM
"Wanna bite of my sub?"
Posted by: Damon | June 7, 2010 10:59 AM
They said I could get anything so I asked for a Damian Hirst.
Posted by: k | June 7, 2010 11:15 AM
I was sitting here taking a dump when BAM!, this hit me like a ton of bricks.
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 7, 2010 11:25 AM
Damn, they're ticklish.
Posted by: boneguy | June 7, 2010 11:33 AM
"His chin is all the way down here. If you take your shirt off, I'll find yours."
Posted by: Damon | June 7, 2010 11:33 AM
"Crikey! Don't you know how to knock??"
Posted by: S. Irwin | June 7, 2010 12:02 PM
"One by one I'm putting those allegations to sleep."
Posted by: dwilk | June 7, 2010 12:07 PM
...alligator bags....to match the ones under our eyes.
Posted by: Amy E | June 7, 2010 12:11 PM
"I'm going to unleash him the next time Perkins mentions the 'elephant in the room' or Johnson calls Google an '800lb gorilla'."
Posted by: Richard H | June 7, 2010 12:29 PM
"Make sure your video camera's rolling when the lights go down in the conference room at 3 o'clock. I've got a great idea for a viral video."
Posted by: Richard H | June 7, 2010 12:30 PM
"i CAN'T FIND THE cAPS lOCK BUTTON."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 12:36 PM
"I'm taking your advice and technique to get that promotion."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 12:38 PM
"Can't you knock before entering."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 12:39 PM
"It's exactly what you think."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 12:40 PM
"We're working on her shorthand."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 12:41 PM
"He died from global warming, Tipper."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 12:46 PM
"She's gone; it looks like Betty White is the last of them."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 12:54 PM
"Happy Anniversary! Try on the Alligator teeth necklace I bought you."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 7, 2010 1:06 PM
"I'll have a ham on rye. And for Mr. Gator...just send in McGaugh."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 7, 2010 1:12 PM
"Just one more time, Audrey, show me where B sharp is."
Posted by: Rob | June 7, 2010 1:19 PM
"Sorry! It won't be so limp in a few minutes! I took some Viagra, which is highly recommended for reptile dysfunction."
Posted by: cta | June 7, 2010 1:23 PM
He went to MIT and can't read, or Harvard and can't count.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 7, 2010 1:24 PM
"What do you mean, folks say I can't get it up?! That's a croc -- !"
Posted by: cta | June 7, 2010 1:26 PM
"I don't know what's wrong with him. I called the doctor, I called the nurse. Thank goodness you're here!"
Posted by: cta | June 7, 2010 1:38 PM
The devourers here are serene.
Posted by: CRC | June 7, 2010 1:53 PM
"The quarterly reports? Oh, sorry, tell the boss that my gator ate them!"
Posted by: cta | June 7, 2010 1:54 PM
"Hey, while he's asleep, come check this out; he's hung like a blue-belly."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 7, 2010 2:00 PM
"Mr. Tebow wants to see me!? One minute. Tell him I'm putting the 'gay' back in his Gator"
Posted by: Puma Head | June 7, 2010 2:05 PM
"He ate the dog that ate my winning lottery ticket."
Posted by: dwilk | June 7, 2010 2:07 PM
"I might be a fuckin' kick-ass CPA, but alligator husbandry is my passion."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 7, 2010 2:12 PM
Star Trek XI: JTK, in brazen violation of the Prime-Directive, much to the chagrin of Yoeman Rand and much to his own disappointment, attempts the little-known Vulcan Umbilical-meld on the recently-subdued Gorn. Man Lizard hijinks ensue."
Posted by: Lenny | June 7, 2010 2:33 PM
"Don't give me any of your crap . . . at least it's not an exploding phone!"
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 2:33 PM
———Is it just me, Detective Brass . . . or do these CSI plots just get weirder every week?———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 2:40 PM
"I don't know what's wrong with him. I called the doctor, I called the nurse... Thank goodness you're here!"
(now with ellipses for your reading pleasure)
Posted by: cta | June 7, 2010 2:40 PM
———Hey, Miss.Fashionista . . . it matches my shoes, doesn———t it???———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 2:47 PM
He's a bit out of his element. You don't often see an alligatorinla.
Posted by: CRC | June 7, 2010 3:16 PM
I can handle the chest compressions, but I need you for the mouth-to-mouth, Ms. Lovelace.
Posted by: JIm Cavanaugh | June 7, 2010 3:28 PM
"Which is a better name for her - The Spy Who Caiman from the Cold, or She Caiman Through the Bathroom Window?"
Posted by: Glenn | June 7, 2010 3:30 PM
"His name is Alligator Ali and he's just resting for his next fight."
Posted by: Kathy H | June 7, 2010 3:55 PM
"Why, yes, we do sell tickets here for the big Alligator-Ade benefit concert."
Posted by: Tim H | June 7, 2010 3:58 PM
"I never noticed how weird your face is, Nancy."
"You forgot the silverware."
"Quick! I need Gator-Aid!"
"Did you bring a couple of midgets?"
Posted by: Johnny V | June 7, 2010 4:01 PM
"Janet told me you've been dying to fuck a guy with a huge croc. Well, do you believe in fate? Because she also mentioned your physically requiring a freakishly small penis."
Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | June 7, 2010 4:04 PM
———I don———t really know . . . but he does answer to the name of ———Dundee———.———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 4:10 PM
———Excuse me, Miss Jones . . . do we still have the Mutual of Omaha account?———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 4:10 PM
———It———s a paperweight . . . why do you ask?———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 4:18 PM
"Miss Jensen, my blow-up doll seems to have sprung a leak! Did you let Tony Hayward and his tiny prick come in here?"
Posted by: cta | June 7, 2010 5:03 PM
"Poor fellow! He ate both Stephen King and Dan Brown this morning. Now I think he's suffering from writers cramp."
Posted by: cta | June 7, 2010 5:08 PM
"Can't you see you're in my way now? Don't you know you cramp my style?"
Posted by: Jared S. | June 7, 2010 5:12 PM
"Please tell my 4:30 I'll be a couple minutes late -- I just have to give Barnabus here his happy ending."
Posted by: Jared S. | June 7, 2010 5:17 PM
"Your `Florida late-term abortion' is complete, Ms. Jackson. I can feel him in here...and here...and there's some more down here."
Posted by: Damon | June 7, 2010 5:41 PM
I'm afraid this crocodile is done, Dee.
Posted by: Rocko | June 7, 2010 6:14 PM
"I have to agree with Pat on this one...a) no tits, b)an alligator, c) worst intern EVER!"
Posted by: Anonymouse | June 7, 2010 6:28 PM
"I don't know much about the stock market, but this alligator's teeth are uncanny trend predictors."
Posted by: Kathy H | June 7, 2010 6:35 PM
"Ms. Williams, please let me know when my tie is back in style and...oh yes, get rid of this alligator. He's dead."
Posted by: Tim H | June 7, 2010 6:38 PM
He has your overbite, yet his skin is softer to the touch.
Posted by: Rocko | June 7, 2010 6:55 PM
Reptilian, you cold-blooded bitch! How the hell are you not related?
Posted by: Rocko | June 7, 2010 7:01 PM
"There's a gator in the office, he's calling my name, And a saying come on boy, you better make it back home again. Fwop, bop, bam, boom."
Posted by: Molljeff Hatchet | June 7, 2010 7:05 PM
"A pipe made from a beer can is so 90's... get ready to smoke some croc pot."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 7, 2010 7:14 PM
I'm trying to turn him into a trained killer, but he doesn't seem to have the stomach for it.
Posted by: Rocko | June 7, 2010 7:37 PM
———Stand way back, Miss Perkins . . . when I rub his tummy, he wags his tail.———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 7:46 PM
———It———s not a purse . . . it———s a man bag.———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 7:46 PM
———Well, in my culture, Little Miss Bigot, interspecies relationships are not only tolerated, they are celebrated!———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 7:47 PM
———Yes, many make that same mistake, Ms. Phillips. Actually it———s a Samsonite and I can go a full week with just this one bag.———
Posted by: blw | June 7, 2010 7:48 PM
Full belly, you crazy bastard! Who the hell's in there?
Posted by: CRC | June 7, 2010 8:21 PM
"I won it on eBay. It's Kierkegaard's piano. Existential, isn't it?"
Posted by: Glenn | June 7, 2010 8:52 PM
I think we can work him up to catching a frisbee in his mouth, but plastics may not do the job in this case.
Posted by: dss | June 7, 2010 9:34 PM
Gator? I barely knew her!
Posted by: Dex | June 7, 2010 9:35 PM
"The book said to start with animals, then try co-workers. Miss Anders, take off your fucking clothes!"
Posted by: ECB | June 7, 2010 10:27 PM
Fuck the Endangered Species Act. I've got an oil company to run.
Posted by: Tony | June 7, 2010 10:37 PM
I'm afraid the poor bastard was D.O.A., much like
that other anti-cap contest.
Posted by: D.J. | June 7, 2010 10:42 PM
Good news, he's willing to work for scale.
Posted by: therblig | June 7, 2010 11:17 PM
In here it's Milburn and Miss Jane and for this three-way to work stay away from his teeth.Ellie May says he's a Clampett!
Posted by: JETHRO BODINE | June 7, 2010 11:42 PM
Nude up! It's time for 'Miami Vice Unrated'
Posted by: Axel F. | June 7, 2010 11:48 PM
Im going back to the Gator Country where the wine and the women are free!
Posted by: Danny Joe Brown RIP | June 7, 2010 11:53 PM
Despite the scientific sacrifice of this marvelous creature, I'm afraid we're not one step closer to a cure for *exophthalmos*..."
Posted by: Roger Kaputnik | June 8, 2010 1:15 AM
"Last week, a boomerang. This week, a croc. Care to join me down under, Sheila? C'mon, show me your Mappa Tassie."
Posted by: Kiwi | June 8, 2010 1:33 AM
"Are you here for the cold-blooded killers anonymous meeting?"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 8, 2010 1:44 AM
"They said litigator? What the fuck's a litigator?"
Posted by: Rob | June 8, 2010 7:13 AM
"And for your chin implant we'll be using a rib from right about here- hell, I might as well get one, too."
Posted by: LV | June 8, 2010 7:51 AM
"Oh crap... Let me guess... I got it on upside down?!"
Posted by: Johnny V | June 8, 2010 9:06 AM
"I need you to help me find the cloaca."
Posted by: Glenn | June 8, 2010 10:38 AM
"Ms. Harris, either someone has replaced my Braille notebook or there's some crazy shit goin' down."
Posted by: Tim H | June 8, 2010 12:57 PM
If you like this, you should check out the snake in my trousers.
Posted by: Eric G | June 8, 2010 1:35 PM
You know those executive office toys with the balls that go "clack-clack-clack-clack"? Well, it turns out alligators don't have balls. Please cancel my subscription to The Sharper Image, and fetch me Gary from Accounts Payable.
Posted by: kejo | June 8, 2010 2:32 PM
"OK, you caught me rubbing a crocodile's belly when I should be finishing the quarterly report. But at least I don't surf the web all day like you do, Joan."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 8, 2010 2:55 PM
"Get out of my chair Anonymous."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 8, 2010 4:19 PM
"I think we found your replacement."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 8, 2010 4:27 PM
"Betty, hold all calls."
Posted by: Kathy H | June 8, 2010 4:53 PM
"It's the new Apple iCroc."
Posted by: Dave | June 8, 2010 9:34 PM
"I'll have a coffee and he'll have a Gatorade. Better make it a double."
Posted by: Dave | June 8, 2010 9:35 PM
"I've been draggin' this komodo."
Posted by: Dex | June 8, 2010 9:43 PM
"I guess the difference between an alligator and a crocodile is the wider, U-shaped snout, black pigment of the skin, and the giggling!"
Posted by: bencaro | June 8, 2010 9:44 PM
It's alinlainalligator. Yep, swallowed him whole.
Posted by: CRC | June 8, 2010 9:53 PM
Would you bring me the Roberts file? And some silverware?
Posted by: CRC | June 8, 2010 10:13 PM
Come on in. I don't bite.
Posted by: Jim Cavanaugh | June 8, 2010 10:54 PM
"I think now she's right about here. Sorry about bringing him in on 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'."
Posted by: LV | June 9, 2010 8:34 AM
"Quick! Do you know CPR?"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 9, 2010 8:48 AM
"He's been out as Izod Lacoste's logo for years, but belly-up and covered in oil, he'll be a perfect logo for BP."
Posted by: RV | June 9, 2010 9:02 AM
Ellen, do you believe in reincarnation?
Posted by: boneguy | June 9, 2010 9:49 AM
"Oh, hi. . . I was just thinking about you while stroking my alligator. Can't you give me one more chance?"
Posted by: holden_c | June 9, 2010 11:32 AM
"So it's an alligator, so what? How long have you been dressing like a woman, McGaugh?"
Posted by: Anon_mous | June 9, 2010 11:34 AM
"Come in Anon_mous, I just fucked your mother and she passed out, bend over you are next Bitch."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 9, 2010 11:57 AM
———O frabjous day, Clarice, my alligator suit is ready. Join me for lunch.———
Posted by: BB | June 9, 2010 12:51 PM
"Ms. Davis, I have a riddle for you. What's green and bumpy and has very sharp teeth? Give up? I don't know, either. By the way, can you help me get rid of this alligator? He's stinking up the joint."
Posted by: Tim H | June 9, 2010 1:09 PM
"Ms. Howell, can you please take over tickling this alligator? I'm very late for the Roger McGaugh vs. Anon_mous prize fight at the American Airlines Arena in beautiful downtown Miami, Florida."
Posted by: Kathy H | June 9, 2010 1:15 PM
"You don't have gators in your office `cause your door actually closes. Mine just hits my desk."
Posted by: Damon | June 9, 2010 3:23 PM
———He may be a wild, untamed predator to you, Ms. Flint, but to the firm, he———s the only one who comes out with a balance sheet in the black every month!———
Posted by: blw | June 9, 2010 7:40 PM
———Well, this certainly explains the recent staff massacres down by the water cooler!———
Posted by: blw | June 9, 2010 7:40 PM
———Good news, Miss Kelly. Our little friend here has ingested both McGaugh and Anon_mous . . . making the world once again safe for Anti-Captions!!!———
Posted by: blw | June 9, 2010 7:41 PM
Pam, go ahead and send in the first interviewee.
Posted by: PG man | June 9, 2010 8:11 PM
"No, really, that's what I meant. Let's have sex over my dead alligator."
Posted by: dwilk | June 9, 2010 8:36 PM
I know what this looks like but I swear SHE seduced ME.
Posted by: Grant | June 9, 2010 9:52 PM
Did you check that gator for papers?
This is Arizona. He looked like one so I just took him in.
Posted by: Grant | June 9, 2010 9:56 PM
No, Mr. Croc. I expect you to lie. No, not like that. Lie in court. Tell them you wanted those wetlands for condos. You and the rest of your savage, backward, creepy crawly brethren.
Posted by: Grant | June 9, 2010 9:59 PM
Unknowingly recorded at the Washington Redskins front office.
Goddamnit Gunther. When I said get a Florida Gator I was thinking Tebo or something. Wait? Can he hold a football in his mouth. Running back.
But we already have six running backs this season...?
We need more. Always more. Always. More.
Posted by: Grant | June 9, 2010 10:03 PM
What? Oil-soaked alligator corpses are people too.
Posted by: Grant | June 9, 2010 10:04 PM
Ms. M'Gaw, the next time you interrupt my "alligator time" please have something intelligent, topical, and appropriate to say."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 10, 2010 2:03 AM
It's not what it looks like.
Posted by: mort drucker | June 10, 2010 8:08 AM
I cloned him from a handbag. Does that surprise you?
Posted by: mort drucker | June 10, 2010 8:16 AM
Years of Ayurvedic study has permitted me diagnosis and treat with great precision the maladies of all of God's creatures. In this case, the beast is quite dead. But I imagine the advanced stench of this closed space forewarned you of that?
Posted by: mort drucker | June 10, 2010 8:43 AM
Before I premiere my 'Swamp Sonata, op 12 for Alligator Belly,' would you please remind everyone to not applaud between movements?
Posted by: mort drucker | June 10, 2010 9:01 AM
Crocodile Dunder Mifflin
Posted by: wizalt | June 10, 2010 9:12 AM
Croc Whisperer: "Long have I wrestled with the Leviathon's secret thoughts, and with yours as well Alice. Will you marry me? No, not you, you skank. I meant the gator."
Posted by: mort drucker | June 10, 2010 9:20 AM
"You're a ditz, , Ms. Baxter, I asked for a chocodile.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 10, 2010 10:50 AM
"Using quotes, Google 'parlaying a stuffed alligator into a back-alley crack-ho blowjob' and let me know what comes up. Thank, hon."
Posted by: Grandma | June 10, 2010 10:56 AM
"He's napping now, but this one's a leader -- spirited, religious -- and we can totally revamp his throwing motion before the season starts. Did I mention that he's a quick study?"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 10, 2010 11:00 AM
"Ms. Anon_mouse, if you can't stand the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen, bitch."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 10, 2010 11:23 AM
"Margaret, my dear, this recession's a bitch. I promised my wife an alligator purse for her birthday."
Posted by: AW | June 10, 2010 11:51 AM
"Ms. Barrie, this package is ticking! I think it's a bomb! Call Security and have Captain Hook come up here immediately!"
Posted by: cta | June 10, 2010 1:16 PM
"Jane! Good, come in! I just want to run an idea bayou!"
Posted by: cta | June 10, 2010 3:07 PM
"Can you help me? This shredder has jammed again."
Posted by: cta | June 10, 2010 3:43 PM
"My clit hurts"
Posted by: Roget MacGaugh | June 10, 2010 5:33 PM
"Seems like lately the competitors are just crocodiling it in."
Posted by: Glenn | June 10, 2010 10:14 PM
Does it seem like some submitters are a little testy
or is that the root of the problem Gator me boy?
Posted by: macGraughy's anatomy | June 11, 2010 2:33 AM
Bring back JD. At least he's intelligent.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 11, 2010 7:30 AM
"I'm supposed to wear these things on my feet?!"
Posted by: Anonymous | June 11, 2010 9:10 AM
"When it comes to Croc's, size really does matter, Ms. Anon Mouse."
Posted by: Roger McGaugh | June 11, 2010 12:31 PM
"I saw this GatorPolisher in an infomercial the other night and just had to try it! Does my desk look any shinier?"
Posted by: cta | June 11, 2010 1:54 PM
"No, there's no 'chicken clucking away fearfully in here'.... Anymore."
"Well, that was easy. Now, how do I roll over my IRA?"
"This years office Halloween party is going to be awesome! Can you help me get into my costume and maybe find me a dismembered arm?"
Posted by: Chuckles | June 11, 2010 5:24 PM
"Really, it's Roger McGaugh's penis. I just added legs, teeth and a brain to make it look like an alligator."
Posted by: jazzy | June 11, 2010 8:08 PM
"Tea for two, and two for tea.., me for you, and you for me...."
Posted by: Rob | June 11, 2010 9:00 PM
"Don't think of it as losing your cat on Bring-Your-Pet-To-Work-Day. Think of it as the day you finally found someone to eat your pussy...What? Too soon?"
Posted by: NAMBY | June 11, 2010 9:49 PM
Let me read this once more: Locate the heart three fingers below the sternal notch, then begin compressions,one per second. Every fifth compression, get your assistant to administer mouth to mouth resuscitation.
OK, let's bring this lizard back from the dead.
Posted by: boneguy | June 12, 2010 12:20 AM
Sure, but can you dress it up in Barbie clothes?
Posted by: Oswald | June 12, 2010 12:20 AM
"I know. I really do need to move my desk a little further away from the door. Thanks for the suggestion. OH MY GOD AN ALLIGATOR IS ON MY DESK!"
Posted by: wizalt | June 12, 2010 12:56 AM
Did you find my xylophone hammer thingie?
Posted by: wizalt | June 12, 2010 12:56 AM
"This is supine. The *other* way is prone."
Posted by: RichM | June 12, 2010 5:44 AM
"Joan, could you get the IT guy in here? My computer isn't working."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 12, 2010 2:10 PM
"I'll have the crocument ready for you in just a couple minutes."
Posted by: Anonymous | June 12, 2010 2:38 PM
I'm a zoophiliac, and I created windows 7.
Posted by: Brian L | June 12, 2010 3:17 PM
"What part of 'relieve me' don't you understand?"
Posted by: Rob | June 12, 2010 5:49 PM
"He falls asleep during foreplay just like you."
Posted by: dwilk | June 12, 2010 9:50 PM
"I figured it was time to start thinking outside the swamp."
Posted by: Dave | June 12, 2010 11:40 PM
"I'll just be a minute. He asked for a happy ending."
Posted by: Dave | June 12, 2010 11:43 PM
Well, okay...have you ever seen a walrus penis?
Posted by: lanemcclain | June 13, 2010 1:07 AM
The original Croc-O-Dial had the rotary right here on the soft underbelly.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2010 1:15 AM
You're the one who said to stay away from jail bait.
Posted by: mississippichicken | June 13, 2010 1:19 AM
One last time, it's not cheating because the Mets are not in the NCAA.
Posted by: lanemcclain | June 13, 2010 1:26 AM
Yes, I've learned my lesson. I won't call anyone a bitch or talk about their mothers online. So when can I have my laptop back?
Posted by: bigmouth | June 13, 2010 1:40 AM
"This just isn't working. I either need a bigger office or a smaller reptile."
Posted by: Eric P | June 13, 2010 5:49 AM
SORRY FOLKS. Wally World will be closed for repairs for the next eight days.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2010 6:02 AM
"Why are you leaning forward like that? You are so weird sometimes."
Posted by: NJtoTX | June 13, 2010 8:15 AM
I don't know what's more dead. This or alinla's career.
Posted by: boneguy | June 13, 2010 4:49 PM
Okaaaaayyyyyyyy, I think that's enough captions for this week.......
Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2010 7:08 PM
"Shhhh, he's meditating."
Posted by: Dave | June 14, 2010 12:12 AM
"Crocodile Rock? No I don't know it but if you hum a few bars I'll give it a try."
Posted by: Dave | June 14, 2010 12:15 AM
"It's called jumping the gun, Ms. Brown. We still have to amuse this alligator for another week! I just hope they raise the limit of five entries. Dear God, I hope they raise that limit...."
Posted by: Anonymouse | June 14, 2010 9:17 AM
"Ms. Jones, his exact last words were:
'You are worse than the New Yorker at picking Honorable mentions. That say's a lot about your sense, or lack, of humor. Just my opinion. Plus you are an anal asshole for limiting and trying to control what people say on this stupid site and how many times they can post a comment, stop being a fucking whinning ass bitch.'
Strange, no?"
Posted by: Anonymouse | June 14, 2010 12:40 PM
"Miss White, just before he died, the alligator said just three words:
'Mike Mariano and POOOOPY'
What do you make of that?"
Posted by: Anonymouse | June 14, 2010 3:52 PM