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November 13, 2009

Texas: Still apparently a state

dean @ t.a.m.s.y.

Here I thought Fridays were supposed to be slow news days, and then I wake up to this bombshell:


Before I was like "Socialist America? Cha!" but if Drudge is now saying that a blog is now saying that the Republican governor of Texas who in April threatened secession while addressing a tea-party is now saying it's true, I'm all like "OMG IT'S TRUE!!!!"

More from the Statesman's blog:

The first part of Perry's remarks focused on what's called the Alien Transfer and Exit Program, something that he has been talking about for more than a week. Perry describes it as a plan where illegal immigrants who are captured in Arizona are sent to the small Texas town of Presidio and set free. It's a sign that the Obama administration is trying to punish Texas, Perry said...
At this point I got very excited, because, wow, unleashing hordes of violent sociopaths a.k.a. illegal immigrants on Main Street America, just to mess with the state that has specifically requested we not mess with it? What a hilarious plan! And so I'm thinking FINALLY Rahm Emmanuel is going all Atwater like we hired him for, perhaps driving around rural Texas in a stretch Hummer with a megaphone out the sunroof screaming Screw you, random citizens, Ari Gold's brother is in the house! or what have you.

But then I arrived tragically at the next paragraph, and it turns out Perry forgot to mention the part where, upon arriving in Presidio, the immigrants are loaded onto the buses from Children of Men and shipped back to their internment camp, Mexico. It's not even clear that they're given sufficient time to rape or pillage or steal jobs from Presidioians, i.e., what's the point here again? Anyway, at least we now know why Lou Dobbs felt compelled "to go beyond my role here" and leave CNN. I mean, these buses aren't going to drive themselves.


The only problem with your scenario is that Rahm Emmanuel would never say "screw."

I wish Texas would go ahead and secede. We would all be better off.

@Daniel: Point taken. Although in my erotic fantasy's defense, shouting "fuck" from a megaphone is, I think we can safely assume, illegal in Texas, and the punishment is, I think we can safely assume, execution.

Also, this was my first post, and since I'm not sure of your position on salty language, I didn't want to include too many barnyard epithets.

We are going on a second generation of people who grew up with clown shills like Drudge, Limbaugh, etc., and who think they are legitimate political voices. O'Reilly can't even keep a straight face reading the scripts they hand him yet people believe he is sincere. I remember running across Matt Drudge's old radio show from time to time -- incomprehensible mess. There is no center -- no there -- there. At first I thought it was that thing about how people with more than 20 IQ points difference can't understand each other --- but Drudge is just a cypher, a device, a tool. Dismissible.

Sure, but I feel like he balances all of that out with his trying to bring back the fedora. How many modern men in the public eye are willing to take risks when it comes to headgear? Now does that make up for the horrific corrosion he's wrought upon American politics? I guess what I'm saying is, yes it does. I mean, a fedora! In this day and age!

Hey, speaking of bold modern men, how about the edgy decision to start my first post here with ironic commentary on a Drudge Report screenshot? Talk about cajones! My only hope is that I can continue to break new ground and push the boundaries of the liberal blogosphere. Not to give too much away, but I'm working on a very harsh rebuke of the Reagan administration.

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