Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon.
•Last week's results. •Rules and tips.

First Place:
"I miss my computer." -- Johnny V
Second Place:
"No, I was talking to the asshole in the chair." -- The Confidence Man
Third Place:
"Wait -how many syllables? Sounds like what? This is frustrating." -- Deborah
Honorable Mention:
"I'm afraid we're cutting back on paperweights. You're fired." -- Tim H
"So, you're so small you aren't even visible over the back of the chair, you emit an eerie white glow, and you've placed a severed head on my desk. It takes more than that to impress me." -- Rubrick
"All right, that's the end of your combination job-evaluation-and-milk-bath. Please return the floating foam telephone and coffee mug toys to the attendant on your way out." -- Francis
"You have the concept of a 'glory hole' all wrong, Smith." -- David
Judge's notes:
Well, now that I'll be a regular judge, it may help you to understand my style a bit. There were a ton of excellent entries that i ignored, mainly because they were too good. (They directly mentioned the head on the table, and made a clever joke relating to it.) The idea of an anti caption is that, unlike a regular caption, it takes away from the picture as much as possible.
A caption's job is to enhance a photo. An anti-caption's job: destroy it.
Good luck.