June 30, 2009

Jackie's JFK Cartoons


Eight cartoons by Jacqueline Kennedy were auctioned off earlier this month at the Wright Auction House in Chicago. The First Lady apparently completed the drawings as she waited to be interviewed for the July 4, 1961 issue of Look magazine. Here is one of her noticeably uncaptioned images. I think you know what to do.

Posted by Deborah


Christ, what an asshole.

Welcome to my home.
My feet pee, photograph me.
I will soon be dead.

No! The press has caught me in a threesome with these two sexy hotel towels!

The showers here are obscene.

Of course we all know why I am alone in bed here. Jack is off, fucking Marilyn Monroe. But none of us will speak of it because, though we live in fear of nuclear annihilation, these are innocent times. The perquisites of authority, power and money and wealth are still respected.

"Er, ah, in about 8 yeahs this will be Teddy."

Mr. President, could you move back and to the left, back and to the left, back and to the left?

I just swam in from the Bay of Pigs...and boy is my dick tired.

"I'm sure glad MLK isn't here to see this."

"Finally I'll have some decent material for my new magazine: Presidential Upskirts. Pornographic stardom here I come! Oh wait, this isn't my camera. It's my prototype for Dog Stairs. Oh hell!"

Hey you, with the hat - how'd you and your big, big head like to join me in Dallas next November?

"Okay - deep breath. I'm not here...I'm in my happy place, back with Joseph, going after Commies...just Joe and Roy, best buds forever...not looking at Kennedy's glistening skin and perfect hair...fuck! Now I have a hard-on. Better cover it with my hat."

"They, er, told me that after my tenth visit here to the Carlyle, my next visit is free."

"The press are by and large an unsightly, ungainly lot, and their subjects vain, self-important peacocks. We are encouraged to focus on the activities of both camps and neglect the richly textured, authentic reality of our own lives. No wonder the country is on drugs."

Harvey, Lee, you crazy bastard!

I am Jack's raging Addison's disease.

Sorensen, you Frankensteinian freak! Stop trying to give that man a reacharound!

"I m not an anorexic exabitionist with poor bladder control...I'm just drawn that way by my wife."

No, I'm just cold - it's not a "missile crisis".

"Hey, Weegee, you mind getting your entourage out of here. They keep looking at me like I'm doomed."

"...and then His Holiness touched me...down there..."

"Please go, and never darken my towels again."

Alfred Hitchcock (far left) initially auditioned Kennedy for the role. But, when Jack rejected the idea of his body ending up in a car, the part went to Janet Leigh.

To, ah, answah youwah question, I will stop putting my dick in anything that moves when a, ah, darkie is elected president. Next question.

HIYOO! (Too soon?) HEEEE! (Too soon?)

"Miguel Covarrubias called. He wants his style back. Except this is 1961 and he's been dead for four years, and this naive plagiarism is hardly a threat."

I'd like to see Vaughan Meader make a reference this obscure.

"What do mean January Jones hasn't been born yet? I just saw at the bar downstairs ordering a water with a gimlet chaser."

"One last picture, and then I must be off to The My Center for the Performing Arts Honors."

There's no need to kneel, Professor, but please give me your assurance that the United States will create Tetris before the Soviet Union.

"Yes, we Kennedys are very good swimmers."

"Don't mind my wife standing on the bureau over there and sketching this scene. You see, I gave her a fancy pencil set as an anniversary gift and, well, she's really taken a shine to it."

"Er, ah, I'd rathah have a rosy bottom in front of me than Rosemary's lobotomy."

Oh dang. Rosemary Kennedy's lobotomy. No caption, just ... dang!

"By the way, where's Bobby and Jackie?"

"I guess this is a fitting punishment, but please come up with a more dignified name for it than 'the Bukakke of Pigs' incident."

"If you will, er, ah, excuse me, I'd like to showah off all this man-chowdah."

"Yeah, this uniform is standard issue in Heaven. The best I can say about Bob McNamara is he gave a lousy blowjob."

"I'm mellll-ting!"

"Why don't you take a picture of my profile? I do a great impersonation of a fifty cent piece!"

"I need this like I need a hole in the head!"

"No, I am not covering myself up... I just have a bad habit of stealing the hotel's towels!"

"It's Lyndon's idea for us to meet in the shower. I think it's a Texas thang."

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