The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #194

"Would you mind not sticking your tongue out? I'm terribly afraid of catching the Swine Flu."

Posted by: Kathy H | May 18, 2009 10:01 AM

"Well, actually, you're not the first person to get the dry heaves from looking at my mis-positioned sleeve buttons."

Posted by: Tim H | May 18, 2009 10:04 AM

"We're laying you off. Sorry."

Posted by: Kathy H | May 18, 2009 10:05 AM

"Actually, those aren't cacti. They're the rest of your party giving you the finger."

Posted by: Tim H | May 18, 2009 10:12 AM

"Hello, fellow giant. Parched? There's a lake about a mile behind me; it's smallish but can quench the thirst of even beings as large as we. Watch out for the tiny little cacti. I got one of those in my hand once, and oooh, I tell you."

Posted by: Francis | May 18, 2009 10:12 AM

"What's that, Timmy? Lassie's stuck in an abandoned mine shaft? Good boy! Let's go save her."

"Look, you're dying of thirst, I have fluids. I'm not paying for a blow job."

Posted by: JohnnyB | May 18, 2009 10:18 AM

"Oasis? Sorry, I'm not from around here."

"Aren't your hands and knees hot?"

Posted by: JohnnyB | May 18, 2009 10:19 AM

"I represent Paris Hilton. She's trademarked that position."

Posted by: Damon | May 18, 2009 10:21 AM

"As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed. It'll be a goddamn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal."

Posted by: Mike Mariano | May 18, 2009 10:23 AM

"We may all be socialists now, but I'm still a banker. So fuck off."

Posted by: Richard H | May 18, 2009 10:31 AM

Well, no, the sun does not always turn into a hypnotic swirl. But today is special.
It's nitwitted triangle tie day.

Posted by: Ipswich McGwinnick | May 18, 2009 10:37 AM

"Well, answer me this: If you're so dehydrated, then why did you just whiz Leo Cullum's name on the ground?"

Posted by: Kathy H | May 18, 2009 10:40 AM

"I'm going to close my eyes and count to ten. When I open them, I want to see that miniature cowboy and his horse back in the desert display. It's my museum, not `Frank's Wild West Anal Insertion Sex Show.'"

Posted by: Damon | May 18, 2009 10:43 AM

"Looks like you need an ambulance bad."

Posted by: Rob | May 18, 2009 10:45 AM

"I will be back in one week." Hopefully by then you will have learned your lesson and think twice about wasting valuable company time entering these ridiculous anti-caption contests."

Posted by: Amy | May 18, 2009 11:02 AM

"Gesundheit."

Posted by: Harry | May 18, 2009 11:02 AM

"The President sent me here to vett your possible nomination to the Supreme Court. Now, what is your position on global warming?"

Posted by: Tim H | May 18, 2009 11:07 AM

"Funny, you don't look Jewish."

Posted by: Ipswich McGwinnick | May 18, 2009 11:12 AM

"I understand you're interested in booking Oasis for a personal appearance."

Posted by: Francis | May 18, 2009 11:16 AM

"No, I haven't seen your gigantic contact."

Posted by: Brian L | May 18, 2009 11:26 AM

"Look into my tie...Lok deeeeep into my tiiiiiiie."

Posted by: MAtt | May 18, 2009 11:30 AM

"You're getting warmer..."

Posted by: MShaw | May 18, 2009 11:30 AM

"I think you'll find that you'll survive a lot longer in this crazy world if you wear a Brooks Brothers suit and carry a briefcase."

Posted by: Dave | May 18, 2009 11:40 AM

"It's not the heat so much as the stupidity."

Posted by: mypalmike | May 18, 2009 12:06 PM

Look, I'm not the one who told you to go on a taffy binge. You knew you'd run out of your insulin supply eventually -- don't expect me to start feeling sorry for you now.

Posted by: Dave | May 18, 2009 12:14 PM

"I'm afraid you're afflicted with New Yorker cartoon clich� syndrome. Symptoms include sitting in a bar in strange clothing, becoming extremely large or small, or, as in your case, encountering something unexpected while crawling through the desert. The only known cure is canceling your subscription."

Posted by: mypalmike | May 18, 2009 12:21 PM

We appreciate your interest in a cartoon cliche position, but we've recently downsized.

Posted by: JohnnyB | May 18, 2009 12:29 PM

"Exactly how thirsty are you, on a scale of one to two, one being urine?"

Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | May 18, 2009 12:46 PM

"For fuck's sake, would you get up and put some clothes on? I'm trying to run a miniature-cactus distributorship here."

Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | May 18, 2009 12:52 PM

"No, I can't give you any water. What I can give you is some late-breaking waterboarding news from Washington."

Posted by: GrinningSkull | May 18, 2009 12:56 PM

"I'm sorry, sir, but you can't get a glass of water here without a tie."

"I told you I'd find a loophole, Jacob."

"I'd love to pull on its tail and help extract that armadillo from your esophagus, but your insurance doesn't cover it."

Posted by: gary | May 18, 2009 12:57 PM

"Well...gee. I actually thought it was a rather smart, unique tie. Mirages have feelings too, asshole."

Posted by: Damon | May 18, 2009 12:58 PM

"You're late, I billed you for the time I was waiting. Now I have to go play squash. I guess tomorrow we'll start working on your appeal. If you care enough to show up on time that is."

Posted by: TG Gibbon | May 18, 2009 1:00 PM

"The flowers here are Crassulacean."

Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | May 18, 2009 1:04 PM

My assignment was to kick you and that is still the plan. Thanks for not moving.

Posted by: Charles | May 18, 2009 1:13 PM

A: "Hello. Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone home? Come on, now, I hear you're feeling down. Well, I can ease your pain, get you on your feet again. Relax. I need some information first. Just the basic facts: Can you show me where it hurts?"

B: "There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves. Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying. When I was a child I had a fever. My hands felt just like two balloons. Now I've got that feeling once again -- I can't explain, you would not understand -- this is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb."

Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | May 18, 2009 1:17 PM

"Yes, your butt does look big in those cut off jean shorts."

Posted by: Pandyora | May 18, 2009 1:37 PM

"Gay watersports? Sorry, that's three cacti down and to the left. This is the set of Celebrity Survivor. Still, I suppose I could help you out."

Posted by: Galoux | May 18, 2009 1:39 PM

"I'm sorry, it's too damn hot to play charades."

Posted by: Kathy H | May 18, 2009 1:41 PM

"You keep telling me I'm egotistical, dismissive, and diminishing when it comes to other people, John - but you never praise me for the things I do right. Anyhow, you're a lousy camel. I'm walking."

Posted by: Damon | May 18, 2009 1:49 PM

"I'm sorry, Mr. Jenkins. That's a very good impersonation of an iguana--and thanks for crawling all the way out here--but it's all about the youth these days, and there's just no market there."

Posted by: Bou | May 18, 2009 1:56 PM

"Nope, sorry, no water. But I've got a whole briefcase of pretzels."

Posted by: Bou | May 18, 2009 1:59 PM

"My work here is done; the sun won't be bothering you anymore. Remember, the next time you get hungry or thirsty, visit one of our 1,200 Cinnabon� franchises worldwide."

Posted by: Damon | May 18, 2009 2:20 PM

�I said Marine pushups."

Posted by: Rob | May 18, 2009 2:30 PM

"Man, you look like shit."

Posted by: J.D. | May 18, 2009 2:40 PM

"NOW thanks you for emasculating yourself, but PETA wants to sue for libel because your posture makes fun of an animal's inability to walk upright. Is there any way you can act like dirt?"

Posted by: MAtt | May 18, 2009 2:41 PM

"These pants are skin tight. I hate my life."

Posted by: J.D. | May 18, 2009 4:08 PM

"I'm Dave. Apparently, I'm your spirit animal."

"Apparently, I've been transported to some kind of mystical wasteland as a punishment for my sins. I guess if I didn't have a personality disorder that leaves me with shallow affectation, I'd be panicking more."

"And if you ask me for change again, I'll kick you in the balls again. Now get the hell away from the bus station immediately off-panel."

Posted by: Trout Almondine | May 18, 2009 4:23 PM

This dick ain't gonna suck itself, crawly.

Posted by: The Confidence Man | May 18, 2009 4:30 PM

Ms. Dowd wishes me to convey that she regrets the error.

Posted by: The Confidence Man | May 18, 2009 4:35 PM

"Neo, Neo... Don't you recognize me??! You defeated me in the original Matrix movie!"

"Good boy... now drop the stick. Drop it! Drop it!"

"Louis... That is NOT what I meant by 'doggie-style'"

"Yeah, I know... I axed the black robe and scythe. I wanted a newer look for the 21st century... but I assure you, I am still Death!"

"Sorry, Karl. Human pyramid practice has been canceled. Didn't you get my 'tweet'?"

Posted by: Johnny V | May 18, 2009 5:01 PM

I know that crawling across the desert before I let you blow me seems excessive, but I like it scratchy. Hey, the heart wants what it wants.

Posted by: bunsen | May 18, 2009 5:10 PM

"Let me get this straight, Mr. Heaney. You're lost in the desert, you're dying of thirst, and you want to buy my tie?"

"You'd better drink some water. You look pretty dehydrated."

Posted by: Rubrick | May 18, 2009 6:00 PM

Your kids had a premonition you were going to die, so they sent me to get your signature on some documents.

Posted by: Johnny | May 18, 2009 6:09 PM

I've heard my humor is dry, but this is rid-doncu-clakulo-smack-vincenzulous.

Posted by: LK | May 18, 2009 6:18 PM

"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? That's right, Harrison from Accounts Receivable's a good boy!"

Posted by: Joshua | May 18, 2009 7:04 PM

"Hi. Can you direct me to the nearest Starbucks?

Posted by: Deborah | May 18, 2009 7:11 PM

"That's odd, my wife tells me my sperm tastes great due to my vegan diet...."

Posted by: Redundant | May 18, 2009 7:25 PM

"I don't care if you crawled a thousand miles through the desert to submit your 'brilliant' caption in person! I, Radosh, will forever select mediocre captions as winners (or direct others to do so on my behalf....)"

Posted by: Redundantly | May 18, 2009 7:32 PM

"A trickle of sweat
on the back of the head
He always does this
Now the foot is dead
Sunday in the desert with George"

Posted by: Brian L | May 18, 2009 9:42 PM

"There's no need to bow. I'm not a god, or the devil. I'm YOU, actually...from back before you made the terribe life decisions that have lead to starve in the desert. I would think you would have recognized these clothes as yours, from the 80's."

Posted by: Trout Almondine | May 18, 2009 11:03 PM

I'll tell you what's not in my briefcase. A gallon of ice cold water.

Posted by: boneguy | May 18, 2009 11:27 PM

"I mean it, thanks for the ride."

Posted by: How Dry I Am | May 19, 2009 12:00 AM

"You know the rules. You only get the million dollars if you can spit."

Posted by: Cpt Assclown | May 19, 2009 1:06 AM

"And the only way to get it is to suck or fuck or be feeble and devoid and masturbate me, masturbate me, and slurp it from your palm like a dry desert soaking up rain, soaking up sun."

Posted by: Fyrste | May 19, 2009 1:40 AM

"Ew, a homeless person."

Posted by: Brian L | May 19, 2009 2:54 AM

"And you want to raise MY taxes? You fucking Socialists make me sick!"

Posted by: al in la | May 19, 2009 4:26 AM

�We�ll sue those bastards for every last drop.�

Posted by: Rob | May 19, 2009 7:16 AM

To be honest, I'm not sure which leg the snake bit. Better suck 'em both, just to be safe.

Posted by: Vlad | May 19, 2009 8:05 AM

Yes, yes, very nice. I could touch my nose with my tongue too, you know, if the dignity of my office permitted it.

Posted by: Vlad | May 19, 2009 8:07 AM

Yes. I am an attorney. I'm just not *your* attorney

Posted by: simsburybear | May 19, 2009 9:18 AM

Torture? I don't THINK so pal. Didn't you get the memo?

Posted by: simsburybear | May 19, 2009 9:22 AM

"This place isn't big enough for the both of us. Seriously look around we are huge!"

Posted by: xjv | May 19, 2009 9:30 AM

As an attorney for Warner Brothers Films I must warn you that acting out any scene from Deliverance is under copyright protection.

Posted by: Greg Urbaitis | May 19, 2009 10:53 AM

"You're going the wrong way"

Posted by: stcoleridge | May 19, 2009 11:16 AM

Universal called. The guy-in-a-desert movie is dead. It's now a guy-on-an-island movie. I've booked you on a flight to the South Pacific at 5. Incidentally, I'm also sending your acting coach with you this time.

Posted by: Johnny | May 19, 2009 11:53 AM

Jesus Christ... what an asshole.

Posted by: Past Expiry | May 19, 2009 12:19 PM

"Not bad, but to even better prepare you for how your divorce settlement is going to feel, please have a seat on one of the background cacti."

Posted by: LV | May 19, 2009 1:24 PM

"You still have to pay your carbon Taxes. Remember, your exhaling CO2 contributes to Global Warming."

Posted by: R.C. | May 19, 2009 2:15 PM

Water is for closers. Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy...No, I'm fucking with you. I'm actually a mirage.

Posted by: therblig | May 19, 2009 6:34 PM

"Good heavens, man! Are you all right? Rest here and I will call for help. We must get you to a hospital immediately!"

Posted by: J.D. | May 19, 2009 6:39 PM

"Good job, Fido. Now go fetch me another hot dog."

Posted by: dahed | May 19, 2009 6:57 PM

"Hello. The Grim Reaper couldn't make it today. I'm his agent."

Posted by: dahed | May 19, 2009 7:01 PM

"Sunshiiiinnnne on my shoulderrrrs makes me happppyyyyyyyy...."

Posted by: dahed | May 19, 2009 7:10 PM

"The towers here are obsidian."

Posted by: J.D. | May 19, 2009 8:09 PM

"You are probably going to die."

Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | May 19, 2009 11:09 PM

�So I said to mom, �Don�t worry about Frankie—he�s probably lying in the sand somewhere basking in the sun.��

Posted by: Rob | May 20, 2009 6:55 AM

"Nope, this is just a delusion brought on by extreme fear and agony. The irony is: you're actually being waterboarded right now!

Posted by: Mr. Sad Head | May 20, 2009 8:41 AM

'The Bureau' here is unseen.

Posted by: Sam L. | May 20, 2009 11:03 AM

"You must have forgotten Donald's mantra: 'hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.'"

Posted by: Anonymous | May 20, 2009 11:42 AM

"You must have forgotten Donald's mantra: 'hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.'"

Posted by: MShaw | May 20, 2009 11:43 AM

"Is that what you're wearing?!"

Posted by: MShaw | May 20, 2009 11:49 AM

"Burros are near.....unseen."

Posted by: Sam L. | May 20, 2009 11:55 AM

"It's a good thing there are no 'Tex' here to see this."

Posted by: Sam L. | May 20, 2009 11:59 AM

"You winner ! Congratulations of HISPANIC TV ! ...........Donde' resto Ustedes, senor ?"

Posted by: Sam L. | May 20, 2009 12:26 PM

"They are the Sawtooth Mountains."

Posted by: Sam L. | May 20, 2009 1:14 PM

"C'mon! I know you know it. Look, we'll say it together:

So I'll meet 'im later on
At the place where 'e is gone --
Where it's always double drill and no canteen;
'E'll be squattin' on the coals
Givin' drink to poor damned souls,
An' I'll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din!
Yes, Din! Din! Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Though I've belted you and flayed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

Sheesh!"

Posted by: Tim H | May 20, 2009 3:44 PM

"Sir, I represent the Blanca Cabeza Sombrero Company, S.A. de C.V. May I interest you in a nice floppy sombrero?�

Posted by: Kathy H | May 20, 2009 3:55 PM

"I'll let you suck the urine out of my Depends for a grand. Do we have a deal or not?"

Posted by: louis lewis | May 20, 2009 10:51 PM

"Bad dog."

Posted by: N. Hugh Maine | May 20, 2009 11:44 PM

Hello, I'm Joe Smallcack and I would like to know if you like my Smallcack tie?

It's not the humidity,it's the heat.

Hi, I'm Lennie Cravats!

Posted by: Joe Smallcack | May 21, 2009 12:38 AM

"I need to see myself in those toes, asswipe, SO KEEP WORKIN' ON THAT SPIT SHINE!"

Posted by: LV | May 21, 2009 1:54 AM

"No. I don't believe in bottled water."

Posted by: Squidocto | May 21, 2009 2:20 AM

"I said Camelus dromedarius, not Camelus bactri-anus, you idiot!"

Posted by: Joe Camel | May 21, 2009 7:37 AM

"On second thought, can I get one hump, two humps or perhaps three humps? I'll pay extra, but I'd expect a volume discount."

"Nice camel Jockeys by the way."

Posted by: Joe Camel | May 21, 2009 7:45 AM

Deserts are hot.

Posted by: Dahvid | May 21, 2009 9:04 AM

"Yes, if you insist, you may lick my shoes."

Posted by: Tom | May 21, 2009 9:07 AM

Hi, I'm the mysterious banker. I'll trade you an agonizing death in the desert for your briefcase...OR you can keep the briefcase and possibly veni vidi o-leevio with nothing.

Posted by: Chris | May 21, 2009 11:57 AM

"Have you finished your business? Good boy! Good boy! Now, back in the car!!"

Posted by: David F | May 21, 2009 1:54 PM

"I'm sorry to inform you but, Adam Lambert lost."

Posted by: Kathy H | May 21, 2009 2:59 PM

"Did you know that 70% of the Earth is covered by water, and the other 30% is covered by lawyers?"

Posted by: Rob | May 21, 2009 8:14 PM

"Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?"

Posted by: Deborah | May 21, 2009 8:34 PM

Gene Simmons!

The Colorado River used to run right here before we diverted the water for agriculture.

Anyone ever tell you,"You're hot"?

Posted by: kiss meonce | May 21, 2009 9:56 PM

"Sorry, no water. I'm actually a heartless financier. I flew in by private jet just to watch you die."

Posted by: Richard H | May 21, 2009 10:11 PM

"Over half of all mirages end with the letter s."

Posted by: Ripstop Nylon Babe | May 21, 2009 11:35 PM

"That's exactly how my wife does it. How did you know?"

Posted by: Neil Please | May 21, 2009 11:42 PM

"Do your wife and children know you're gay?"

Posted by: J.D. | May 22, 2009 12:54 AM

"Here's your $160,000 daily pay for pretending to be lost in a desert, Sean Hannity. Fortunately your staff and a team of medical professionals are standing by just out of frame to attend to any possible ill effects you may have experienced from this little charade. Thank you for hating all Muslims and blindly supporting every action of the Israeli government."

Posted by: J.D. | May 22, 2009 1:18 AM

"The Cereus giganteus, the Opuntia ficus-indica, the Ferrocactus wislizenii -- and here now the rare Homo succulentii ! Oh, my ! What a fascinating nature walk !"

Posted by: Sam L. | May 22, 2009 12:05 PM

"The 'burbs' here are Pom'rene....Arizona."

Posted by: Sam L. | May 22, 2009 12:29 PM

"Cactisexuals like you make me sick."

Posted by: lewis louis | May 23, 2009 12:37 AM

Dill or no dill?

Finally! A Survivorman episode gone wrong.

Looks like your headed toward Brokeback Mountain!

Posted by: Howard Mandell | May 23, 2009 12:45 AM

Your swollen tongue reminds me of my ambiguous genitalia. Call me Hermie.

How about a 71? You and me and two prickly pears jammed up our rears.

Lookds like you've gotten your just desert.

Posted by: JL Curtiss | May 23, 2009 12:50 AM

Couldn't help but notice those shorts are Jean-Paul Gaultier.

Hot couture.

Welcome to America, illegal Mexican immigrant! You wanna be my "Horse with No Name"?

Posted by: Double Burrell | May 23, 2009 1:01 AM

Wicked good hair! My I ask who your stylist is and what type of gel?

Nice butte!

Rainman, get back in the damn Buick!

Posted by: Max Factor Cruise | May 23, 2009 1:09 AM

"Fellate me."

Posted by: mrparallel | May 23, 2009 1:16 AM

You must be the guy who didn't eat the peanuts in Collum's September 6, 2004 desert cartoon?

Posted by: Mr. Monocle | May 23, 2009 1:44 AM

I'm from the cartoon characters union and I've been advised to tell you that you won't starve to death in the desert because of the sand which is here. You'll likely die of thirst, however. Any other problems, please contact your shop steward.

Posted by: therblig | May 23, 2009 9:40 AM

"My secret? Green tea to hydrate, aloe vera moisturizer, and, oh yeah...I'm a mirage."

Posted by: Steve_O | May 23, 2009 11:41 AM

"I could give you some water, but I know you'd just spend it on booze."

Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | May 23, 2009 12:30 PM

" 'Chinee' ? No, preposterous question !"

Posted by: Sushi Place | May 23, 2009 2:45 PM

"And you want to be my latex salesman?"

Posted by: al in la | May 23, 2009 3:53 PM

"Thanks for the ride. And be back to pick me up at five."

Posted by: Steve_O | May 23, 2009 6:30 PM

"Yes, I did see Deliverance, and I'm not going to buttfuck you, no matter how much you squeal like a pig."

Posted by: Ned | May 23, 2009 11:45 PM

Blow this out of proportion.

Ride him in, Rawhide!

Man up! Don't aske for directions!

Posted by: Vanishing Point | May 24, 2009 1:10 AM

At the Birth of the Bottled Water Empire

Posted by: Bou | May 24, 2009 9:56 AM

"I said desiccate, not defecate."

Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | May 24, 2009 10:01 AM

"I don't wear cotton underware."

Posted by: d | May 24, 2009 10:47 AM

"Sure, we're both dying; but do you have to look so pathetic?"

Posted by: Abe | May 24, 2009 1:03 PM

"No, the term insurance is for ten years. The whole life has a lump sum payout on death."

Posted by: Dave | May 24, 2009 7:09 PM

"Can you tell me how the long the wait is for the uptown express bus?"

Posted by: Dave | May 24, 2009 7:11 PM

"Nice vision quest. NOT!!"

Posted by: mort drucker | May 24, 2009 9:00 PM

"The names Juan. Don Juan. I just came out to tell you there's some bad shit going around."

Posted by: mort drucker | May 24, 2009 9:02 PM

Tongue depressor? No, I don't have a tongue depressor. Your tongue is depressing enough."

Posted by: Lou | May 25, 2009 11:15 AM

Sorry, subby, your caption winners are in another castle.

Posted by: Brian L | May 26, 2009 1:45 AM

Your request to be transferred to a psychiatrist's couch gag is currently undergoing consideration. We will notify you if and when the decision is made; please do not contact us in the meanwhile.

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | May 26, 2009 6:31 AM

Sanjaya's corpse is about two klicks back, Bo Bice's being dismembered by carrion birds even as we speak--all in all you've done well for an American Idle runner up.

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | May 26, 2009 6:38 AM

"Sounds like ... 'waiter.' Let's see, is it 'whiter'? 'Winter'? 'Weather'? 'Welter'? 'Twitter'? 'Wittier'? You're going to die if you don't get something wittier? Believe me, I feel the same way."

Posted by: Joshua | May 26, 2009 12:05 PM

Pull your tongue back in. Yes, they're pink triangles, but it's just a tie.

Posted by: therblig | May 26, 2009 1:16 PM

"Good new, bad news scenario. I've found two cherubs to guide you back home, but you're stuck in this contest for another week."

Posted by: Steve_O | May 26, 2009 1:33 PM

Hi, I'm Dick Wolf and I'd like to offer you a part in my new show "Low on Water". Thursdays on NBC.

Posted by: therblig | May 26, 2009 2:29 PM

"Barrel cacti are a good source of water for people. Where are your bush skills ?"

Posted by: Sam L | May 26, 2009 5:08 PM

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Posted by: Anonymous | May 26, 2009 7:52 PM

It's this simple, Daniel - pick a caption and you get the Sunny Delite that's in my briefcase.

Posted by: therblig | May 26, 2009 10:25 PM

"Don't try to think up a caption. It's another week without a winner."

Posted by: Henry | May 27, 2009 5:16 PM

"I really can't help you at all."

Posted by: Greg | May 27, 2009 6:35 PM

"You see, I'm on my way to this thing,.....and I really have to be there on time....you can see where this is going, can't you?"

Posted by: Greg | May 27, 2009 6:37 PM

"Yes, they do turn clear at night. Now, get the hell out of my way."

Posted by: Greg | May 27, 2009 6:38 PM

"No, no. That's a dog *panting*. It's a dog *begging* that I need to see if you expect me to judge this week's contest. . . . Oh, and then laugh at my jokes."

Posted by: Bou | May 27, 2009 6:58 PM

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Posted by: Rob | May 27, 2009 8:17 PM

"I sure wish I were sitting at a bar next to Minotaur and having a drink right about now."

Posted by: horseschvitz | May 27, 2009 10:10 PM

Worst issue of X-Men ever.

Posted by: Mr. Sad Head | May 27, 2009 11:25 PM

"I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th thong thong thong"

Posted by: Dirk McGirk | May 28, 2009 9:50 AM

"Go ahead, follow me to the ends of the earth...your efforts are in vain...for some reason...etc..."

Posted by: Redundantly | May 28, 2009 12:44 PM

"'Such impudence never came my way. Early this afternoon I gave you money. When I was having my shoes polished , I gave you more money. Now you put the bite on me again.' "

Posted by: Anonymous | May 28, 2009 11:35 PM

"You're not going to find it here. Click this link for the next anti-caption contest...I guess I should have said something a few days ago."

Posted by: al in la | May 29, 2009 4:33 AM

"Such impudence never came my way....." : It's from 'The Treasure of the Sierra Madre'.

Posted by: 'Dobbsie' | May 29, 2009 2:00 PM

"Huh ! I thought all you Tarahumaras routinely ran up to 100 miles like it was nothing....That's what my guide book said !"

Posted by: Sam L. | May 29, 2009 9:22 PM

"I suppose I should have given you better directions, replacement judge number twelve...."

Posted by: Redundantlier | May 31, 2009 9:03 AM

" 'Coyote' malo, senor ? 'Coyote' malo ?! No me diga eso ! Peyote 'bueno', me parece. Se dice PEYOTE, deshonroso perro !"

Posted by: Pablo | May 31, 2009 1:33 PM

I have posted contest #196 on my blog. Click below to visit and leave your anti-cap in the comments section. To get started I posted a very controversial anti-cap. See for yourself:

Anti-Caption Contest #196

Posted by: al in la | June 1, 2009 3:35 PM

Okay...two words...blow job! You want to give me a blow job! Honestly, I'm just going to keep guessing that until you agree.

Posted by: skibum | June 8, 2009 11:49 PM

Excuse me. I represent the Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild
And in the name of the Lollypop Guild,
I wish to welcome you to Muchkinland.
I welcome you to Munchkinland, Tra la la la la la la
From now on you'll be history.
You'll be history, you'll be history, you'll be history.
In actuality, you'll be deceased."

Posted by: Munchkin Lawyer | June 11, 2009 11:03 AM

(Improved version) - "Barrel cacti are a good source of water for people...Where is your bush craft, senor ?!"

Posted by: Sam L. | June 14, 2009 6:17 PM

Radosh.net

Pop. Politics. Sex. So On.

May 18, 2009

The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #194

Posted by Daniel Radosh

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