The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #190

"Whenever I see animals in sculpture I always look to see if the anus, or in this case, the cloaca, is realisitically rendered. Then I imagine the artist spending all that time studying and then recreating the details of the anus or cloaca."

Posted by: J.D. | April 20, 2009 10:31 AM

"Oh my god. Look closer, that's not sand, it's..it's.. bull shit!"

Posted by: mort drucker | April 20, 2009 10:51 AM

"Well, we've had bullshit on Wall Street, maybe now's the time for ostrich shit."

Posted by: Kathy H | April 20, 2009 10:52 AM

"Look, I get the joke. It's just that, in the current economic environment, I feel like our money might've been better spent on things other than comically appropriate statuary."

Posted by: Tim C. | April 20, 2009 10:53 AM

"Now, where did I see those legs before? Oh, yeah, I bumped into my ex-wife yesterday."

Posted by: Tim H | April 20, 2009 10:54 AM

"An ostrich with its head in the sand? Huh. That's an interesting interpretation, but what I was going for was 'murdered emu'."

Posted by: Tim C. | April 20, 2009 10:54 AM

"Nice legs. Shame about the face."

Posted by: Tim C. | April 20, 2009 10:55 AM

"I don't know much about art, but I know what I don't like."

Posted by: Kathy H | April 20, 2009 10:55 AM

"It's nice to see something embracing terra firma in a city where the buildings don't touch the ground."

Posted by: Damon | April 20, 2009 10:55 AM

"I feel like an ostrich burger."

"Did you say Burglar?"

"Fuck you."

Posted by: mort drucker | April 20, 2009 10:55 AM

"I gotta say it: 'The ostriches here are obscene.'"

Posted by: Tim H | April 20, 2009 10:56 AM

"Between my loveless marriage, my thankless job, my non-existent bonus, and the general public disdain for the work I've done in the past decade, sometimes, I wonder whether I'd be better off just killing -- oh, hey, new statue! -- myself."

Posted by: Tim C. | April 20, 2009 10:58 AM

"Don't fool yourself girl. It's going right up your poop shoot!" [Zappa]

Posted by: Weller | April 20, 2009 11:01 AM

"You know, when you think about it, it makes sense that they're changing these sculptures. It's a like a whatchamacallit, a metaphor."

Posted by: v | April 20, 2009 11:03 AM

"It was a toss-up between chicken-little and the ostrich, but since the panic is behind us we though it'd be best to project a sense of helplessness."

Posted by: Weller | April 20, 2009 11:19 AM

"Whattadey gonna do with this bull, boss?"

"It'll be Jim Cramer's headstone."

"But he ain't de - "

*sharp glare*

"Oops. Sorry."

Posted by: Damon | April 20, 2009 11:24 AM

Yeah, when I aged out of Tintin they started using me in these. Poor Snowy did a fold-out in "Cracked."

Posted by: LK | April 20, 2009 11:37 AM

Finally, my expertise in avian hemorrhoids will be put to the test.

Posted by: SteveR | April 20, 2009 11:42 AM

"They're replacing that bull statue with an ostrich statue? That can't be a good sign for the markets. But I don't really follow the news, I'm mostly just into sudoku."

Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | April 20, 2009 11:44 AM

"Merrill Lynch is ostrish on America."

Posted by: Glenn W | April 20, 2009 11:51 AM

Oh, I don't think her legs are that spectacular. It's just the high heels.

Posted by: npm | April 20, 2009 11:52 AM

"Oh, man, those hooves are going to turn me on every time I walk by this."

Posted by: NJtoTX | April 20, 2009 11:53 AM

"What happened to the fucking bear?"

Posted by: Charles Squab | April 20, 2009 11:54 AM

"Well, shit, Larry, whose balls are you going to rub for good luck now? You'll have to find some new balls to rub, huh Larry? You know, for good luck? But whose balls, Larry, whose? Waitaminute -- are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah? No? Larry? Don't look at me like that, Larry, I'm just trying to be helpful here. They're taking down your statue. I'm just saying, Larry. It's bad luck. [pause] Seriously, I would fuck you so hard. [pause] Just think about it, Larry. Don't give me an answer right now. Just think about it."

Posted by: t.a.m.s.y. | April 20, 2009 11:55 AM

Hey, isn't that the national bird of Kenya?

Posted by: therblig | April 20, 2009 11:57 AM

And I just got used to writing Year of the Bull on my checks.

Posted by: therblig | April 20, 2009 11:59 AM

"The obscene here are ours."

Posted by: Rob | April 20, 2009 12:08 PM

"At least we're not being judged by the cars crashing through are ceilings, fish floating in our pianos, or needles sticking in our bodies."

Posted by: Rob | April 20, 2009 12:13 PM

"The way I hear it, Jerry Reinsdorf fell on tough times, sold the Chicago Bulls to some Arab guy, and BINGO!...The Chicago Ostriches

."

Posted by: Kathy H | April 20, 2009 12:16 PM

"W.C.Fields was right, 'There comes a time in the affairs of a man when he has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.' "

Posted by: Tim H | April 20, 2009 12:19 PM

"Next time we stage an interspecies homosexual fuckathon, we gotta remember: It doesn't matter how eager the catcher is if the pitcher is too shy. Write that down, OK?"

Posted by: Vance | April 20, 2009 12:23 PM

"Why not Bill Keane?"

Posted by: xjv | April 20, 2009 12:31 PM

"I love these chalk art 3D illusions."

"First the Kentucky Fried Chicken becomes Kentucky Roast Chicken and now the burger places are going exotic. Can't one thing just stay the same?"
"Hustler still features beaver."
"That's what I'm talking about."

Posted by: JohnnyB | April 20, 2009 12:37 PM

"It was supposed to depict Wall Street's 'head up the ass' attitude but, once again, Obama refused to get tough and he compromised too much."

Posted by: JohnnyB | April 20, 2009 12:42 PM

"Wow! This bronze emu's asshole is utterly fascinating. "

Posted by: David | April 20, 2009 12:47 PM

"Is it a good idea to just leave sculptures in the middle of the street?"

Posted by: David | April 20, 2009 12:51 PM

"Yeah. they're sending the bull to be used in a time-travel experiment to fuck with Moses."

Posted by: David | April 20, 2009 12:54 PM

"Did you know that we're not actually on Wall Street, we're on Broadway? And the bull was originally a practical joke. Fucking tourists, huh?"

Posted by: minderbender | April 20, 2009 1:27 PM

Hey, pal, you looking for the results from the past couple weeks? Good luck.

Posted by: JohnnyB | April 20, 2009 1:29 PM

I'm haunted by the...damn, no face!

Posted by: therblig | April 20, 2009 1:55 PM

"Whoa, check out those gams! Yeah, I know, you're more of an ass man."

"This one really hits home. We're just like this ostrich, hiding our heads in the sand while our buildings slowly vanish from the ground up."

Posted by: Rubrick | April 20, 2009 1:56 PM

I try to look away but it's hard not to stare at the little workers in their little overalls.

Posted by: MrFares | April 20, 2009 1:57 PM

The oompa loompas are restless.

Posted by: zach.neal | April 20, 2009 2:03 PM

"Fucking MIT students!"

Posted by: Rob | April 20, 2009 2:09 PM

"I hear they've already finished the preliminary sketches for the 'Roadkill' statue".

Posted by: Kapntoad | April 20, 2009 2:20 PM

What will those fucking Somali pirates demand next?

Posted by: boneguy | April 20, 2009 2:27 PM

Christ, what an ostrich-hole.

Posted by: The Confidence Man | April 20, 2009 2:32 PM

I see that the ostrich-cobblestone maglev project was shovel-ready.

Posted by: The Confidence Man | April 20, 2009 2:34 PM

I'm trying to avoid staring at the Teamster in front of us who's shoving his colleague into the bull's anus.

Posted by: The Confidence Man | April 20, 2009 2:36 PM

The city is dissolving all around us! We're all gonna die! Oh look, a statue.

Posted by: klarabell | April 20, 2009 3:14 PM

"The original concept was a blind person being gang raped by swine. But the city throught that was a little busy for this spot."

Posted by: al in la | April 20, 2009 3:22 PM

"Christ, what an asshole"

Posted by: Jay | April 20, 2009 3:32 PM

"Jenkins, take a note: Purchase one step ladder, one box of condoms and clear my afternoon calendar!"

Posted by: mort drucker | April 20, 2009 3:38 PM

"You think that's odd...last night I watched a guy play a piano full of fish!"

Posted by: Redundanter | April 20, 2009 3:45 PM

"Wow, I really hope that's not a fountain..."

Posted by: Redundantly | April 20, 2009 3:47 PM

"Has anyone ever mentioned you bear a striking resemblance to Tintin? Are you in fact Tintin sent here to investigate some corporate crime? Or perhaps a bizarro, John Galt Tintin, here to rally the disgraced overlords of finance instead!"

Posted by: mort drucker | April 20, 2009 4:12 PM

"I can't believe PETA's paying each of us a hundred bucks just to roll this thing into the Burger King drive-thru."

Posted by: Damon | April 20, 2009 4:17 PM

"An ostrich doesn't really bury its head in the sand."

"Well, you didn't really fuck Pam Dawber in the ass. But you still have that statue."

"Touch�."

Posted by: Damon | April 20, 2009 4:45 PM

"They are calling it the obvious jokes project. They replaced Father Duffy with Goofy."

Posted by: Charles | April 20, 2009 5:23 PM

"You know what?! Someone's gonna trip on that statue's base!"

Posted by: Johnny V | April 20, 2009 5:37 PM

"...their beak can hold more than their belly-can!... Oh, wait... wrong bird!"

"Ostrich... Os...trich... Hmmm. Strange word... Ostrich... Hmmm
Ostrich, ostrich ostrich!"

"Must be April already... You know... Statue of the month club?!"

Posted by: Johnny V | April 20, 2009 6:40 PM

The result of the Giant Animal Statue Race is going to be a foregone conclusion this year, even if Team Ostrich CAN turn up to attach the wheels in time.

Posted by: Doug | April 20, 2009 6:50 PM

The worst part is how it marks the hour with a stream high-velocity synthetic diarrhea projected through the window of our accounting department. Lucky our cleaning is paid for by the bailout.

Posted by: Doug | April 20, 2009 6:54 PM

stream *of* high-velocity synthetic diarrhea, dammit

Posted by: Doug | April 20, 2009 6:55 PM

"I still need to come up with a slogan for Red Bull."

"Speaking of bulls, check it out - they're taking the statue away."

"And they've replaced it with an ostrich."

"That's funny. Look at his wings."

"Wait......bull......wings......I've got it! `Red Bull � Caffeinated Horse Piss.'"

Posted by: Damon | April 20, 2009 8:01 PM

WHAT AN ACTUAL WALL STREET GUY WOULD SAY: "We should set him up with Roxanne in accounting. I hear she gives excellent head...More cocaine?"

Posted by: al in la | April 20, 2009 8:23 PM

"This reminds me of a funny story about when I got drunk and raped our Au Pair?"

Posted by: d | April 20, 2009 8:26 PM

"That bird ain't goin' NOWHERE."

Posted by: Dave | April 20, 2009 10:08 PM

"I see the Tea Party Protesters have their own animal symbol now."

Posted by: Dave | April 20, 2009 10:09 PM

"There's nothing quite as charming as a cobblestone street."

Posted by: Dave | April 20, 2009 10:11 PM

"Look, Big Bird's feet are backwards and his cock is being devoured by ants."

Posted by: Anonymous | April 20, 2009 10:15 PM

"Look at the three assholes on that bull."

Posted by: Dave | April 20, 2009 10:29 PM

"Look at the two assholes on that ostrich."

Posted by: Dave | April 20, 2009 10:30 PM

"Ha ha! It's a bury-your-head-in-the-sand market! That's funny."

Posted by: Deborah | April 20, 2009 10:48 PM

"One day, Jim and Julian resolved to end their torrid love affair to return to their boring lives. Suddenly, there appeared an ostrich with its head in the sand alongside a charging bull guided by three swarthy contraction workers. They were inspired to stay together for the rest of their lives."

Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | April 20, 2009 11:44 PM

[OOPS]
"One day, Jim and Julian resolved to end their torrid love affair to return to their boring lives. Suddenly, there appeared an ostrich with its head in the sand alongside a charging bull guided by three swarthy construction workers. They were inspired to stay together for the rest of their lives."

Posted by: Anonymous | April 20, 2009 11:46 PM

"OK, move him right over there. And... Checkmate!"

Posted by: mypalmike | April 21, 2009 12:20 AM

"This pair of sculptures represents things that have disappeared from America: the bull market, the American worker, natural wildlife, and vinyl records."

Posted by: mypalmike | April 21, 2009 1:06 AM

"Yeah, push that shit back in there."

Posted by: Brian L | April 21, 2009 2:26 AM

"I preferred it when they put the statues on a central island. That way they didn't block traffic so much."

Posted by: Richard H | April 21, 2009 5:35 AM

"This statue has nothing to do with market sentiment. It's just an an acknowledgment that we are no longer allowed to look our customers in the face while shitting on them."

Posted by: Richard H | April 21, 2009 5:39 AM

This is a terrible zoo.

Posted by: BlackGuardian | April 21, 2009 7:40 AM

"I'm sure glad there are no black people here to see this."

Posted by: Mr. Know It All | April 21, 2009 8:39 AM

"Mmph mmmmph mph." (From the ostrich.)

Posted by: Mr. Know It All | April 21, 2009 8:40 AM

"I sometimes think this whole thing is a wake-up call from God for America to leave its spendthrift ways and return to the solid moral values my parents had in the 1950s. That's why I fired my Mexican gardner and Dominican maid and put all the money I saved into my money market account."

Posted by: Mr. Know It All | April 21, 2009 8:43 AM

No, that's definitely an elbow. Now, let's get back to managing other people's money.

Posted by: therblig | April 21, 2009 9:51 AM

"Well, what can you expect when they hire Three Guys With A Truck Who Move Statues of Bulls and Ostriches?"

Posted by: Kathy H | April 21, 2009 10:54 AM

"Well I'll be! That looks like the manager of my 401(k) account!"

Posted by: Tim H | April 21, 2009 11:02 AM

"That one I call "taking the bull by the horns" and this one is "life."

Posted by: Brian L | April 21, 2009 11:33 AM

"There was some back-and-fourth on the plaque: 'Kiss my ass,' 'Eat shit,' 'Drop dead, you stupid sheep'...They settled for, 'Performance quoted is past performance and is no guarantee of future results.'...Fucking lawyers."

Posted by: al in la | April 21, 2009 12:16 PM

"Sure, easy enough, but if you let them know you're a vet they hold you liable for whatever happens."

"Why d'ya figure they're putting up a statue of Phyllis Diller burying her head in the sand?"

"Well, looks like it's back to business-as-usual here on Sesame Street."

Posted by: TG Gibbon | April 21, 2009 12:25 PM

"Common misconception, Watson. Given its height and girth, this was never a statue of an ostrich but rather a 'moa', once populace in prehistoric New Zealand but extinct now for centuries."

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | April 21, 2009 1:07 PM

"Because of an uncontrollable high-heel/flightless bird kink, I'll be walking with my attache in a boner hiding posture. OK by you?"

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | April 21, 2009 1:10 PM

"It's either a shame metaphor for our collective Madoff gullability or a tacit admission that 'Leighton' can't draw bird heads."

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | April 21, 2009 1:13 PM

"Remember wax paper? Used get baloney sandwiches in my school lunchbox, mom would always have them wrapped in wax paper. It's just baggies these days, I guess."

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | April 21, 2009 1:16 PM

"Rumor has it he's meant to be fellating a ground hog. Weird, huh?"

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | April 21, 2009 1:18 PM

1ST Broker: It's probably going to get hit by a car, just sitting out here in the street.

2nd Broker: You're right about that...sawhorses with blinking lights would help to avert that.

1st Broker: Or those orange cones one often sees.

Ostrich: (in muffled tones): Men are fools!

Posted by: Euseless Tilley | April 21, 2009 1:26 PM

"We're going from e-moo to emu. Get it, ha, ha, ha, get it? Like eTrade, you know? Geez, you have no sense of humor."

Posted by: Turley | April 21, 2009 1:45 PM

I can't help thinking that a cowbird would have been a better metaphor for Wall Street.

Posted by: therblig | April 21, 2009 4:08 PM

"Too soon"

Posted by: reid savid | April 21, 2009 4:08 PM

I brought a couple of midget Teamsters. Do you mind?

Posted by: therblig | April 21, 2009 4:09 PM

"I kinda get the ostrich statue, but I can't figure out the statue of workers pushing a bull."

Posted by: Kathy H | April 21, 2009 4:22 PM

"You know the one about turkeys looking up in the rain, and drowning? That seems more to the point."

Posted by: stcoleridge | April 21, 2009 5:04 PM

"That reminds me, I'll be filming some anal with a chick in a feather boa and I need a tripod."

Posted by: LV | April 21, 2009 5:49 PM

"Nobody gets it, Tompkins—he's counting his buried cash."

Posted by: Rob | April 21, 2009 7:58 PM

"Look at that... A couple of unskilled laborers rolling a large, heavy statue down a hill using a cart with no brakes. This should end well."

Posted by: mypalmike | April 21, 2009 9:00 PM

"Our first choice was a dung beetle."

Posted by: Steve_O | April 21, 2009 10:08 PM

"Statue." "Gesundheit."

Posted by: DaveH | April 21, 2009 10:48 PM

"Statue?" "Yeah, 'smee."

Posted by: DaveH | April 21, 2009 10:50 PM

Well, what the hell did she expect would happen wearing those 'fuck me' pumps?

Posted by: teevee | April 21, 2009 11:07 PM

"We should have learned from the Spanish about getting gored and trampled in the streets."

Posted by: Rob | April 21, 2009 11:29 PM

"You know, I'm really getting tired of these 9-11 memorials."

Posted by: Benny | April 21, 2009 11:34 PM

"Bear market??? We're lookin' at the bottom of a 'lookin' for the bottom of the market market. No bull!"

Posted by: David F | April 22, 2009 12:06 AM

...

Posted by: Dot | April 22, 2009 7:12 AM

It's high time the SEC got some appropriate recognition.

Posted by: therblig | April 22, 2009 10:10 AM

Businessman in suit: See those guys carting away the bull jabbering away about their chile con queso? It's just another disgusting example of how the goddamn mexicans are taking all the good jobs and destroying our economy.

Posted by: Sundar G. | April 22, 2009 12:49 PM

We thought it better represented our Keynesian economic order. The bull is being shipped back to Austria.

Posted by: Sundar G. | April 22, 2009 12:52 PM

"Looks like that zoning variance came through."

Posted by: Tim H | April 22, 2009 12:53 PM

"Well look at that. There's a resume stuffed up his ass."

Posted by: al in la | April 22, 2009 2:21 PM

-- 'If threatened while sitting on the nest, which is simply a cavity scooped in the earth, the hen presses her long neck flat along the ground, blending with the background. Ostriches, contrary to popular belief, do not bury their heads in the sand.' --

Posted by: Wikipedia Guy | April 22, 2009 9:39 PM

"Anyways, so 'Zane', the bull's other name, see, was owned by this Ralph Helfer, the creator of AFRICA U.S.A., this animal behavior spread located in Southern California. Anyways, so later Tippi Hed... What the ...!"

Posted by: Sam L. | April 22, 2009 11:18 PM

"Symbolism? Okay. Ostriches wear high heels and will stop at nothing to sneak into the subway. What does it say to you?"

Posted by: NAMBY | April 23, 2009 6:49 AM

"For some reason, this reminds me of that episode of Sesame Street. You know- the one where Grover fucked Big Bird in the ass."

Posted by: Steve_O | April 23, 2009 7:20 AM

"What's the point of working on Wall Street if you can't 'game' the system. It's like a porn film with no money shot. Like a duel with blanks. Like a caption contest with no winners."

Posted by: mort drucker | April 23, 2009 12:43 PM

"It's a good thing there are no 'NASDAQS' here to spear this. Capisce ? ... Freakin' savages ! 'AAA bonds' how to go, my man."

Posted by: Sam L. | April 23, 2009 2:38 PM

"Hunh ? Says, 'The statue before you was commissioned on behalf of the producers of LOOSE CHANGE and is dedicated to the people of the United States, but for whose ongoing inspiration the work may never have come to day. .... Yeah, well, lots of luck, statue !"

Posted by: Sam L. | April 23, 2009 3:26 PM

Got a quarter? I wanna try the new ride.

Posted by: Greg Urbaitis | April 23, 2009 6:01 PM

" 'Feather, could you spare that dime ?', hunh, Maxwell ? .....Say, no chance you in 'Chrysler', is there ?"

Posted by: Sam L. | April 23, 2009 6:52 PM

" The executive who signed off on these lifelike replicas of a penguin and otter received a $10,000,000 bonus-you know you have to retain sound management with good judgment."

Posted by: Greg | April 23, 2009 7:29 PM

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is used to broadcast news and information about an emergency (A big-ass monster like Godzilla, a natural disaster like an earthquake, Kit Lo getting his just desserts in a first date, etc.). If this was a real emergency, the beep would have been followed with news and instructions.

This concludes the test of the emergency broadcast system.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 23, 2009 7:55 PM

"If we had a chainsaw, we could make a killing on Wall Street."

Posted by: Mr. Saw, but U can call me Buzz | April 23, 2009 11:29 PM

The bear mauled his broker.

Posted by: Bryan | April 24, 2009 9:31 AM

I was afraid of this, we've skipped "Bear" altogether and gone straight into a "Bur-ied ostritch head in the sand" market.

Posted by: Bryan | April 24, 2009 9:33 AM

New Star Trek movie opening soon - something made me think of Klingon Uranus. Oh, and George Takei.

Posted by: therblig | April 24, 2009 9:42 AM

"He's looking for the caption contest winners from contest #188 and #189."

Posted by: Dewey | April 24, 2009 10:31 AM

"Shame, really, Amy Domini's having to part with long-cherished lobby decor like this."

Posted by: Sam L. | April 24, 2009 1:12 PM

"Oooeey ! If sculpture could talk ! These started out over at Kozlowski's !"

Posted by: Sam L. | April 24, 2009 1:41 PM

"Yeah. Word is couple sly types donating this over to Nancy at the Reagan Library. Ostrich, I'm talking. ... Expect she's a touch senile, poor woman."

Posted by: Sam L. | April 24, 2009 3:39 PM

"Well, that's weird. I've lived in Boise my entire life and never noticed that bull before."

Posted by: Galoux | April 24, 2009 3:40 PM

"I always wondered if they did 'cut-and-cover' along here myself."

Posted by: Anonymous | April 24, 2009 5:26 PM

"The largest organized crime syndicate in this country, otherwise known as the banking system, is just so damn adorable."

Posted by: J.D. | April 25, 2009 4:19 AM

"Ostrich statue???!!! I hardly KNOW you!"

"Over the phone it sounded like the salesman said it was a statue about Auschwitz."

"Emu EMU I want MOA!!! .....sorry, I had drugs for lunch."

Posted by: Johnny V | April 26, 2009 5:24 PM

"Don't bother. Radosh is just going to declare anti-caption bankruptcy anyway."