The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #164
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here for last week's results.
First place
"Leave if you must, but I won't be responsible for the safety of your tin can collection." —Mark
Second place
"But Margaret, think of the kids! The ones all these goats ate." —J
Third place
"Yeah? Well at least THE GOATS didn't eat a whole fucking quart of Haagen Dazs, you fat cunt." —Trotman
Honorable mention
A "normal" American atheist home —Benj
"...But I didn't fuck ALL the goats!" —Cpt. A. Clown
"Hey, what's in the bag? Let me guess ... your hopes and dreams chewed up and soiled by my depravity and existential incompetence? I bet you thought I was gonna say 'a goat', huh?" —Jimby
"Yes, they all laughed at me at the Academy. They said a goat would never be 'successfully' cloned. And when I cloned the goat, they said it would never be housebroken. All right, so one out of two. But the important thing is... HEY-where are you going? My goat anecdote is not done! And what's in that bag? Dear Lord, my secret goat cloning papers! Gertie, Gus, Giselle, Gustave, Guillarme, Gladys, Galway, Portnoy... STOP her!" —Mort drucker
"Hey, can you pick up another goat while you're out?" —John Tabin
"Fine, you were right. Mothballs get rid of moths but goat balls don't do jack shit about goats." —Max
"Awwww. You're leaving before I got a chance to explain why i have all these goats! My logic will be interesting, thoughtful and well argued." —Charles
"What? Bush isn't running for a third term? What the hell am I going to do with all these pet goats? Maybe Obama will want them. Muslims eat goats, right?" —therblig
[Plumber, walking out door, speaking...] "I've got to go out to my van to get a bigger auger. The goat shit in your upstairs toilet is backed up for 20 feet." —mypalmike
"Trust me, you'll eventually get used to the smell. I was talking to the goats!" —Roger Kaputnik
"I know bein' new it's kinda hard to stand, Miss, but there's more goats than this outside, and kinda the point of Purgatory is to learn to accept, I'm told. So just stay put like me and you'll be on to your eternal reward in not too much time I hope, unless you can't stop fuckin' 'em neither."
(This cartoon illustrates the fact that Purgatory is simply a place where you are challenged to tolerate huge numbers of goats, and also to avoid the temptation of attempting sexual conquest of your soft, trusting co-inhabitants in the plane of absolute judgment. While the majority of mildly sinful souls arrive in this realm of limbo after death and are glad to find themselves unlicked by flame and Satan, nearly all of them fail to realize the possibly of progression to heaven.) —Barth
Comments
“What? It’s just sex.”
“Um, can you please get some more goat traps while you’re out?”
“In retrospect, a goldfish might have made more sense.”
“I bought the goats to catch the dogs. I bought the dogs to catch the cats. I bought the cats to catch the birds. I bought the birds to catch the spiders. Wait, where are you going?”
Posted by: Deborah | October 6, 2008 10:15 AM
So you're dumpin' me? Why, what d'I do?
Posted by: simsburybear | October 6, 2008 10:25 AM
Real Caption (to get it over with): "But I thought you wanted kids."
Posted by: Richard | October 6, 2008 10:26 AM
"Of course I sprayed. You don't see any ibexes, do you?"
"If you're going to be hypersensitive, maybe you shouldn't wear overalls."
"Leave if you must, but I won't be responsible for the safety of your tin can collection."
Posted by: Mark | October 6, 2008 10:31 AM
"But Margaret, think of the kids! The ones all these goats ate."
Posted by: J | October 6, 2008 10:33 AM
"But Mary! Our baby will need a father!"
Posted by: gary | October 6, 2008 10:38 AM
"Hey, close the door! We don't live in a barn!"
"If you can stop by the library on the way home, will you check and see if these things have any natural predators?"
Posted by: gary | October 6, 2008 10:41 AM
-Hey, what's in the bag? Let me guess ... your hopes and dreams chewed up and soiled by my depravity and existential incompetence? I bet you thought I was gonna say 'a goat', huh?
-"Go fuck ewe-r self!" Heh-heh, good one, Mr. Rammy.
-I'm haunted by the feces of my victims.
-Bye. Have fun at softball practice. Don't forget your lunch.
- Sorry for the confusion, it's not a tupperware party, its a tupp-a-wear party. That's where the goats mount you while you still have your underwear on.
Posted by: Jimby | October 6, 2008 10:47 AM
I guess I finally got yours.
Posted by: therblig | October 6, 2008 10:50 AM
I was joking. The Rolling Stones aren't really coming for dinner.
Posted by: therblig | October 6, 2008 10:51 AM
"Please don't be so angry -- I'm sorry my ad was unclear. I'm sure you'll find a position as a nanny very soon."
Posted by: Francis | October 6, 2008 11:01 AM
"We have goats the way most people have mice."
Posted by: Vance | October 6, 2008 11:02 AM
"And cheese. Don't forget the cheese."
Posted by: Richard H | October 6, 2008 11:03 AM
"I just can't help it, they're so nice and soft. Soft, soft, soft - just like everything here in pencil-drawn world. Aahhhhh. Soft."
Posted by: Vance | October 6, 2008 11:05 AM
Ewe'll be baaaaaack . . .
Posted by: Dick Obvious | October 6, 2008 11:06 AM
"Was it the goatee?"
Posted by: Richard H | October 6, 2008 11:07 AM
"Say, honey, do you hear a soft 'me-eh-ehhh-ing' sound? And, do you smell a kind of, um, barnyard odor? I may be blind, but I am pretty sure we have goats in here somewhere. Here, get off my lap so I can check."
Posted by: Vance | October 6, 2008 11:08 AM
"What!? You said I owed you 8 bucks!"
Posted by: dwilk | October 6, 2008 11:21 AM
"Gosh that's a big bag. I know you're on the rag, but do you really need that many tampons?"
"Happy birthday two ewes- ha ha."
Posted by: Kosmicki | October 6, 2008 11:42 AM
I can get another job! How was I supposed to know everyone was bringing a parrot on 'Bring Your Pet to Work Day? And I didn't even know goats ate parrots?
Posted by: 99 | October 6, 2008 11:44 AM
"Just tell me why. Is it because of all of the goats?"
Posted by: Clambone | October 6, 2008 11:44 AM
Oh, and NOW you have a problem with being married to your brother?
Posted by: LK | October 6, 2008 11:49 AM
Fine! More chevre for me.
Posted by: Arthur | October 6, 2008 11:52 AM
"Get your ass back here! 'Goatkakke 5: Goats in Paradise' isn't going to tape itself!"
Posted by: louis lewis | October 6, 2008 11:53 AM
You'll never be happy unless you release the anger inside you. That's why I release mine inside goats.
Posted by: Arthur | October 6, 2008 11:55 AM
"Cow!"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | October 6, 2008 11:59 AM
Will you stay if I promise to stop fucking them?
Posted by: Charles | October 6, 2008 12:12 PM
"Some marriages follow the reverse traditional model, with the female as the primary breadwinner and the male taking more of a supportive role."
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | October 6, 2008 12:27 PM
"And make sure the fucking eggs you get are free-range!"
Posted by: dwilk | October 6, 2008 12:36 PM
"You may get the house, you may get the car, but you'll NEVER get my goat"
Posted by: Max | October 6, 2008 12:58 PM
"Hey, can you pick up another goat while you're out?"
Posted by: John Tabin | October 6, 2008 12:58 PM
"Hey, don't leave! You know I'm trying to get a real farm, but my credit is bad and it's hard to get a subprime mortgage these days!"
Posted by: John Tabin | October 6, 2008 01:01 PM
"Go on, now, go. Walk out the door. I will survive -- I will survive!"
Posted by: Max | October 6, 2008 01:19 PM
What did you expect, marrying someone named "Gruff"?
Posted by: therblig | October 6, 2008 01:20 PM
"You're just pissed off about what they did to your brother under the bridge."
Posted by: Damon | October 6, 2008 01:22 PM
"Fine, you were right. Mothballs get rid of moths but goat balls don't do jack shit about goats."
Posted by: Max | October 6, 2008 01:31 PM
"OK. OK. I apologize. I shouldn't have made that 'lipstick on a pig' comment."
Posted by: Richard H | October 6, 2008 01:35 PM
"Hugh Hefner's girls don't complain. Why should you?"
Posted by: Damon | October 6, 2008 01:36 PM
"Where did you get the idea I had seven boats?"
Posted by: Richard H | October 6, 2008 01:41 PM
"That's not going to fit in the overhead compartment."
Posted by: Jenny Blair | October 6, 2008 01:43 PM
"Alright, you go talk to the rabbi."
Posted by: jb | October 6, 2008 01:44 PM
I'm sorry I called your mother a cunt.
Posted by: DZ | October 6, 2008 01:50 PM
"Fuck you, you chinless dyke."
Posted by: J.D. | October 6, 2008 02:01 PM
"But you said it would spice up our marriage if I bought us a billy club."
Posted by: Slide | October 6, 2008 02:04 PM
"Come back here! I'll start using the Rogaine tomorrow! Happy?!?"
"Take the kid out of the purse and step away from that door with your hands up!"
"You know NOTHING of animal husbandry! Get out!"
"...and shearing scissors. And pick up some more snack books for them. And don't forget the chili."
Posted by: Dave | October 6, 2008 02:14 PM
"I don't think running as 'Michelle Bloomstein' is gonna fool anybody into giving you a third term."
Posted by: J.D. | October 6, 2008 02:18 PM
Hey, they're the gay ones, not me.
Posted by: miked | October 6, 2008 02:31 PM
"What can I tell you ?! That ad was supposed to read 'handsome GOAT-getter' !
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 02:34 PM
"Things could be a lot worse. For example, in 1921 Aleister Crowley forced his mistress to fuck a goat and then slit its throat at the moment of orgasm."
Posted by: J.D. | October 6, 2008 02:35 PM
Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed...and then they start dancing. I'm tellin' you honey, "The Kashmir Goats" will kill at Branson. But I can't do it without you.
Posted by: therblig | October 6, 2008 02:49 PM
"Please don't leave me."
Posted by: J.D. | October 6, 2008 02:56 PM
Okay, so it's true. I Mickey Kaus do blow goats. I said I didn't just to maintain my contrarian bona fides. That's my schtick. I mean the contrarianism not the goat blowing which is my passion.
Posted by: rmp | October 6, 2008 03:10 PM
"What? Is it the goats? It's the goats, isn't it."
"When you said 'Alpaca bag and leave you' I thought you were just making a pun."
Posted by: Rubrick | October 6, 2008 03:13 PM
"I don't understand! You said you were into mountin' goats!"
Posted by: Rubrick | October 6, 2008 03:15 PM
"If you don't want group sex, how about a threesome?"
Posted by: Richard H | October 6, 2008 03:17 PM
"Hey! Where are you going?! You expect me to fuck all these goats by myself?!"
Posted by: Ogdred | October 6, 2008 03:24 PM
"Because their anus is tighter, that's why."
Posted by: mdoyle | October 6, 2008 03:28 PM
"Well, Albee! The goat IS Sylvia!!"
Posted by: Tim H | October 6, 2008 03:31 PM
"You are one uptight transvestite."
Posted by: Ben | October 6, 2008 03:46 PM
...But I didn't fuck ALL the goats!
Posted by: Cpt. A. Clown | October 6, 2008 03:57 PM
Awwww. You're leaving before I got a chance to explain why i have all these goats! My logic will be interesting, thoughtful and well argued.
Posted by: Charles | October 6, 2008 03:58 PM
What? Bush isn't running for a third term? What the hell am I going to do with all these pet goats? Maybe Obama will want them. Muslims eat goats, right?
Posted by: therblig | October 6, 2008 04:00 PM
"Please come back, Mary. I promise I'll stop eating the furniture."
Posted by: mypalmike | October 6, 2008 04:09 PM
"Close the door on your way out"
"If you have another goat-bag, I think this one behind my chair is dead too."
Posted by: Drew | October 6, 2008 04:10 PM
"eHarmony fucks me again. Later, bestiality prude!"
Posted by: David John | October 6, 2008 04:36 PM
"....Roll, Navy, down the field, And SINK the Army, SINK the Army grey ! N...A...V...Y , Gooooo Navy !"
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 04:39 PM
"Take my sheep. Please."
Posted by: mypalmike | October 6, 2008 04:48 PM
"Are the goats still screaming, Clareeeese?"
Posted by: dwilk | October 6, 2008 04:51 PM
Stop dressing like a damn farmer and I'll stop buying goats.
Posted by: Drew | October 6, 2008 04:52 PM
You forgot your lamp.
Posted by: Charles | October 6, 2008 05:13 PM
"Nanny na na. Nanny na na. Nanny na na...goood-bye."
Posted by: mort drucker | October 6, 2008 05:15 PM
"My lap is soaked with acrid piss."
Posted by: Mort drucker | October 6, 2008 05:19 PM
"But....but, but I have no herding instincts!"
Posted by: mort drucker | October 6, 2008 05:20 PM
"Old MacDonald HAD a wife."
Posted by: Dave | October 6, 2008 05:29 PM
[Plumber, walking out door, speaking...] "I've got to go out to my van to get a bigger auger. The goat shit in your upstairs toilet is backed up for 20 feet."
Posted by: mypalmike | October 6, 2008 05:34 PM
"Could you at least leave that reupholster's number?"
Posted by: mort drucker | October 6, 2008 05:38 PM
"So yeah, I fed them all that frigin' HOUSE BEAUTIFUL crap ! Snob Martha Stewart wannabe ,you ! Make me sick...with your damn Wine and Cheese 'gatherings'. Yeah, 'gatherings' ! ..So get out, go on !"
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 05:39 PM
"And don't you be coming back here on no 'eight goat night', neither ! ...Yeah, go on, freeze, 'Baby', FREEEEEZZZE !"
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 06:09 PM
"There she goes, Daisy. Maybe one day, I'll figure out the complexities of the female soul - the facets of their personalities which stay locked away, looking for a companion with the right set of keys. Men far smarter than I have written about them for centuries, and yet we all come to a common conclusion: there is no solving the riddle that is woman. Oh well. Let's go hump on the toilet."
Posted by: Damon | October 6, 2008 06:25 PM
Trust me, you'll eventually get used to the smell. I was talking to the goats!
Posted by: Roger Kaputnik | October 6, 2008 06:47 PM
"Have fun playing racquetball. I'll just sit here and, uh... keep an eye on the goats."
Posted by: mypalmike | October 6, 2008 06:50 PM
"Leaving already? Maybe you Cubs fans shouldn't fuck with tradition."
Posted by: al in la | October 6, 2008 06:51 PM
"And for another thing, the kid brother and his wife have them a house-dog the size of a frigin' bull...til you can't get it out the frigin' door ! ...But, yeah, get out, go on."
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 06:57 PM
"Nuh uh ! Said 'side-burned'! 'Side-burned and goated' ! Not no stupid 'goateed'. ..You frigin' dyslexic ?"
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 07:20 PM
"There you go again ! Sigmund blah blah Freud castration blah blah anxiety blah overcompen blah sation blah blah ! ...Knew it was a mistake, getting you an education."
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 07:35 PM
"By a 9-0 vote, the bathroom expansion project is approved."
Posted by: dwilk | October 6, 2008 07:35 PM
"You are 'daunted by the fracas of our living'? ....Why ?"
Posted by: Sam L. | October 6, 2008 08:26 PM
"Don't bring back any more goats."
"Mulva?"
"Could you stop at the library and pick up the 'Billy Goats Gruff' bok again?"
"How can you be tired of Goat's Head Soup?"
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 6, 2008 08:47 PM
(Um, help me out here. I thought it was all agreed no one would mention about 'Bush' and 'pet goats' any longer. ...Because if not,I have been unfairly restricting myself.)
Posted by: Von Go | October 6, 2008 08:48 PM
So I love having sex with goats. Really- is that so wrong?
Posted by: Steve_O | October 6, 2008 09:13 PM
It's still nicer than your mother's house.
Posted by: Steve_O | October 6, 2008 09:14 PM
Go ahead- walk out on me, bitch. You'll be sorry when I turn up dead.
Posted by: Mork | October 6, 2008 09:15 PM
Wait, come baaaa-ck. Or is that a sheep? Oh, just get the hell out of here.
Posted by: Capt. Spaulding | October 6, 2008 09:18 PM
You said we would stay together until the kids are grown. And butchered. And sauteed with onions.
Posted by: Steve_O | October 6, 2008 09:20 PM
"Good luck on 'America's Next Top Model'- say hi to Tyra for me. You know you've got NO chance!"
Posted by: LV | October 6, 2008 09:30 PM
"No, I very clearly explained in my letter of proposal, Ludmilya, how I lived in a 'goated community' - G-O-A-T-E-D ! ....Well, I can't say I wasn't warned about 'Russky' chicks."
Posted by: Von Go | October 6, 2008 09:33 PM
"Go ahead, move in with Raymond- everybody loves him. But I'm Peter Boyle, dammit!"
Posted by: LV | October 6, 2008 09:37 PM
"Effing 'Billy' ! Looks out least mention of 'ass'! 'Nice Ass' - 'Nice Grass', there's a difference, fool !"
Posted by: Von Go | October 6, 2008 10:07 PM
"Yeah? Well at least THE GOATS didn't eat a whole fucking quart of Haagen Dazs, you fat cunt."
Posted by: Trotman | October 6, 2008 10:15 PM
"Help! My furniture is being ravaged by goats!"
Posted by: Trotman | October 6, 2008 10:16 PM
"Actually, the one on the top right is a statue."
Posted by: Trotman | October 6, 2008 10:19 PM
"His name is Nibbles and he's just adorable! Why he doesn't eat more than a cup of food every da- where are you going?"
Posted by: Trotman | October 6, 2008 10:21 PM
"So you're leaving me because of the goats shitting? Well the joke's on you; enjoy your sandwich today, you fat cankle-having bitch."
Posted by: Trotman | October 6, 2008 10:24 PM
"True, voting for McCain or any Republican is a vote against my economic interests and very survival. But I am ruled by garden variety racism and could never vote for a negro Muslim homosexual terrorist communist. Also I fuck goats and love Jesus."
Posted by: J.D. | October 6, 2008 10:30 PM
"Put yourself in my shoes, after all, I'm always putting myself in your...you know."
Posted by: dwilk | October 6, 2008 10:37 PM
"Ya just can't git over the fact we're jest po whatt trash, now, kin ya!"
Posted by: Glenn | October 6, 2008 11:04 PM
(whispering to goat) "Ginger, sweetie, why don't you go give mama a little goin' away present on that big fat ass of her's?"
Posted by: al in la | October 6, 2008 11:59 PM
"Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and goat; egg bacon and goat; egg bacon sausage and goat; goat bacon sausage and goat; goat egg goat goat bacon and goat; goat sausage goat goat bacon goat tomato and goat . . ."
Posted by: Galoux | October 7, 2008 12:43 AM
"I'd run after you, throw myself at your feet, grab hold of your ankles, and beg you to stay, but it would mean disturbing Daisy, and she just got comfortable."
Posted by: Bou | October 7, 2008 12:54 AM
Piss and shit? Who cares? Yeah, that's right. Goat teats beat anything you have to offer any day of the week, so just keep on walking.
Posted by: Alan Weld | October 7, 2008 06:51 AM
"Don't worry, boys, she'll be back. She always comes back."
Posted by: HT | October 7, 2008 08:22 AM
"OK, I should've taken Billy to the vet a long time ago. But I still think you want to emasculate me."
Posted by: Galoux | October 7, 2008 09:47 AM
Go if you have to, but please don't call the cops! No one understands the love between a man and his goat-harem.
Posted by: Kevin E. | October 7, 2008 10:08 AM
"Good thing there's no black people here to see this."
Posted by: Mr. Know It All | October 7, 2008 11:46 AM
"Some day we'll look back on all this and laugh--or we would if these were GIANT GOATS. That's always funny."
Posted by: Mr. Know It All | October 7, 2008 11:51 AM
Take the books. I don't have time to read anymore.
Posted by: Charles | October 7, 2008 12:38 PM
"Hey, Heidi! Aren't you forgettin' somethin'?"
Posted by: Namby | October 7, 2008 01:12 PM
"This one opposes a woman's right to choose. His name is Billy Graham."
Posted by: Kosmicki | October 7, 2008 01:57 PM
"Go ahead, leave! I'm gonna tell all the neighbors about your dick!"
Posted by: Frank the Insider | October 7, 2008 03:53 PM
When I said you were looser than a goat's vagina, I was speaking metaphorically!
Posted by: JR | October 7, 2008 03:55 PM
I might have a weird goat fetish, but at least I don't carry my GIGANTIC butt-plug around in a duffle bag!
Posted by: Weller | October 7, 2008 04:07 PM
"I thought lesbians liked goats."
Posted by: Kathy H | October 7, 2008 04:10 PM
"You can't just leave me with all these kids to feed!"
Posted by: mn | October 7, 2008 05:37 PM
"Yeah ?! Well, you'd be flatulent, too, on foam-cushioning !"
Posted by: Von Go | October 7, 2008 05:48 PM
It's a dithyrambic diorama I've created, something completely "trag-ditional,"
and yet, like totally "kunstemporaneous"..
O, The Tragedy!
Posted by: Lanny Quarles | October 7, 2008 05:50 PM
(weakly) Hey, uh, You really need to ask before you take my giant hot-dog tote to the Gabrito brothel, Mistress Zelda..
Posted by: Lanny Quarles | October 7, 2008 05:53 PM
"God-damned robbers ! I ain't sure it'd be cheaper to feed all these bastards than 'taxi' 'em ! ...'Ben' better come out good as 'Hortense', see !"
Posted by: Von Go | October 7, 2008 05:57 PM
"Hell yeah, you 'box-lunch', bitch-- price BEEF what it is !"
Posted by: Von Go | October 7, 2008 06:03 PM
As key comrades of the new TOTAL ZOOPHILIC BOLSHEVISM,
I thought we might add a kind of urban rusticism connecting
our dream of a worker's Utopia with the mythic Arcadian idyll of the
ancient shepherd folk..
What's your DEAL, Martha?
Posted by: Lanny Quarles | October 7, 2008 07:01 PM
"Yes, they all laughed at me at the Academy. They said a goat would never be 'successfully' cloned. And when I cloned the goat, they said it would never be housebroken. All right, so one out of two. But the important thing is... HEY-where are you going? My goat anecdote is not done! And what's in that bag? Dear Lord, my secret goat cloning papers! Gertie, Gus, Giselle, Gustave, Guillarme, Gladys, Galway, Portnoy... STOP her!"
Posted by: Mort drucker | October 7, 2008 07:43 PM
"Yeah, now that frigin' Republicanism has been so totally absolutely discredited back til Lincoln, those 'bastids' will all be looking for themselves a new mascot, new symbolism. ...And just who you think gonna be there with just the thing, just the 'effing' animal to say 'forth 'n multiply' ? ..Sell like hotcakes ! ...Frigin' 'republics' !"
Posted by: Von Go | October 7, 2008 08:06 PM
"Oh alright, I'll change them to reptiles in the painting."
Posted by: Anatoly | October 7, 2008 08:22 PM
"I can't believe the Cubs lost again."
Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | October 8, 2008 12:41 AM
"There's twelve of them. And if you're done passing judgment and using my bathroom, feel free to fuck right off, Avon Lady."
Posted by: David John | October 8, 2008 03:36 AM
You know I've always wanted a satyr! Come on, be glad I'm not asking you to birth a centaur.
Posted by: Drew | October 8, 2008 10:26 AM
"Thank you for dropping by, Daniel. You will always be welcome here. ...Bleat 'goat-bye' to Daniel, 'the Andes Goat-Boy', kids."
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | October 8, 2008 10:42 AM
Every sperm is sacred.
Posted by: Adam G | October 8, 2008 11:13 AM
"O.K., I'm a 'PETERAST' ! That makes me worse than a Republican ?!"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | October 8, 2008 12:34 PM
"Buzz off, bitch ! That's my last 're-cycle'!"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | October 8, 2008 12:53 PM
"If you must know, she makes me laugh."
Posted by: stcoleridge | October 8, 2008 01:44 PM
"There you go, blaming it on goats again ! I'll have you know cows, sheep, hogs...and rabbits, yes, rabbits, may all be carriers of syphilis !"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | October 8, 2008 02:00 PM
"Thank you, and if I have any more problems with my goat-dispenser, I'll be sure to give you a call."
Posted by: Ed C | October 8, 2008 02:24 PM
"You know what, go ahead and quit. The George Carlin Home for Unwanted Goats doesn't need a maintenance woman anyway."
Posted by: Ed C | October 8, 2008 02:27 PM
"Hey, I'm not the one who insisted on buying furniture made from grass and recycled tin cans!"
Posted by: Bou | October 8, 2008 02:34 PM
“Okay. Fine. McCain did a GREAT job last night.”
Posted by: Frank the Insider | October 8, 2008 04:25 PM
"I got a wife and kids! (Lenny always laughs when I say that!)"
"Don't let the screen door hit you on your way out!"
"Baby come Baaaack... You can blame it all on me!"
Posted by: Johnny V | October 8, 2008 06:14 PM
...But I told you, I'll let you felch!
Posted by: Cpt. Clown | October 8, 2008 10:18 PM
"No, YOU'RE gay!"
Posted by: Brian L | October 9, 2008 02:53 AM
If I cared about you at all, I wouldn't have all these goats in the house in the first place. At the very least, I should be upset you are leaving or concerned enough to try to stop you, but I really don't care. In fact, once you are gone, I will not even think about you or recall a single experience, good or bad, that we had together. When you walk out that door, you cease to exist. So, yes, you are right to leave.
Posted by: Alan Weld | October 9, 2008 05:01 AM
What- you've never heard of animal husbandry? Gay, polygamous, animal husbandry.
Posted by: Steve_O | October 9, 2008 07:21 AM
Just see if you can find anyone else who will love you, you chinless cross-dressing bitch.
Posted by: Mork | October 9, 2008 07:23 AM
"I still love you. I always have. I'll never stop."
Posted by: Mr. Sad Head | October 9, 2008 09:54 AM
"Hey, there a book missing off the book shelf ! What's the idea ?! You making off with one my books, now ain't you, woman ? Jesus F. Christ you making off with the bible ! ....Stop !
Posted by: Sam L. | October 9, 2008 10:54 AM
(Obviously, this is a scene from the next freecreditreport.com commercial)
The song:
"They say a person's home
is certainly his castle,
so why is mine all full of goats
and I violate their assholes?
It's all because some hacker
stole my identity.
So now my house is full of goats
for bestiality.
Should have gone to freecreditreport.com...." (you know the rest)
Posted by: Ronnie the Fondler | October 9, 2008 11:33 AM
"What's in the bag?"
Posted by: Grizzly Dad | October 9, 2008 01:33 PM
"Okay, okay, I'll get a vasectomy."
Posted by: Swaption | October 9, 2008 07:33 PM
"one of your damned goats is sitting on my lap again."
Posted by: Dave | October 9, 2008 08:21 PM
"Oops. I didn't realize my barn door was open."
Posted by: Dave | October 9, 2008 08:34 PM
"You ain't got a goats of a chance without me, Linda Lou! ...Linda Lou???"
Posted by: Dave | October 9, 2008 08:36 PM