Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here for last week's results.
First place
"Leave if you must, but I won't be responsible for the safety of your tin can collection." �Mark
Second place
"But Margaret, think of the kids! The ones all these goats ate." �J
Third place
"Yeah? Well at least THE GOATS didn't eat a whole fucking quart of Haagen Dazs, you fat cunt." �Trotman
Honorable mention
A "normal" American atheist home �Benj
"...But I didn't fuck ALL the goats!" �Cpt. A. Clown
"Hey, what's in the bag? Let me guess ... your hopes and dreams chewed up and soiled by my depravity and existential incompetence? I bet you thought I was gonna say 'a goat', huh?" �Jimby
"Yes, they all laughed at me at the Academy. They said a goat would never be 'successfully' cloned. And when I cloned the goat, they said it would never be housebroken. All right, so one out of two. But the important thing is... HEY-where are you going? My goat anecdote is not done! And what's in that bag? Dear Lord, my secret goat cloning papers! Gertie, Gus, Giselle, Gustave, Guillarme, Gladys, Galway, Portnoy... STOP her!" �Mort drucker
"Hey, can you pick up another goat while you're out?" �John Tabin
"Fine, you were right. Mothballs get rid of moths but goat balls don't do jack shit about goats." �Max
"Awwww. You're leaving before I got a chance to explain why i have all these goats! My logic will be interesting, thoughtful and well argued." �Charles
"What? Bush isn't running for a third term? What the hell am I going to do with all these pet goats? Maybe Obama will want them. Muslims eat goats, right?" �therblig
[Plumber, walking out door, speaking...] "I've got to go out to my van to get a bigger auger. The goat shit in your upstairs toilet is backed up for 20 feet." �mypalmike
"Trust me, you'll eventually get used to the smell. I was talking to the goats!" �Roger Kaputnik
"I know bein' new it's kinda hard to stand, Miss, but there's more goats than this outside, and kinda the point of Purgatory is to learn to accept, I'm told. So just stay put like me and you'll be on to your eternal reward in not too much time I hope, unless you can't stop fuckin' 'em neither."
(This cartoon illustrates the fact that Purgatory is simply a place where you are challenged to tolerate huge numbers of goats, and also to avoid the temptation of attempting sexual conquest of your soft, trusting co-inhabitants in the plane of absolute judgment. While the majority of mildly sinful souls arrive in this realm of limbo after death and are glad to find themselves unlicked by flame and Satan, nearly all of them fail to realize the possibly of progression to heaven.) �Barth
