September 2, 2008

Name Your Children...the American Way!


I resisted the urge to fulfill some of my schadenfreude/morning coffee jitters by image bombing the site with pics of Jamie Lynn Spears...BUT I do think it's high time to start a PALIN MEME of my very own.

Name your children! The Palin way! Todd Palin sez: "Sarah's parents were coaches and the whole family was involved in track and I was an athlete in high school, so with our first-born, I was, like, 'Track!'"

I didn't realize it was that easy! So, your kids' names are:
(1) your favorite sport (Track)
(2) the city body of water near where you grew up (Bristol)
(3) the city in which or nearby where you currently live (Willow)
(4) cool name, of which there are not many (Piper)
(5) something out of Norse mythology (or favorite school subject) (Trig)

My five children's names are: Trick Pool, Annapolis Chesapeake, Philly, Cyclone, and Ragnarok. (Ragnarok's terrible two's are gonna be rough.)

Posted by Dave


I thought they were named after Alaska's top industries:

Bristol: fishing
Track: railroads
Piper: oil
Willow: lumber
Trig: hunting

how very gop!

(5) something out of Norse mythology (or favorite school subject)

Alternate for conspiracy diehards: High school subject your pregnancy causes you to miss the most days of.

For me this would probably be Genetics! The teacher of which was pregnant when I took the class. Too many coincidences not to be true.

Bristol Cities is of course cockney rhyming slang...

Don't forget the screaming baby doll that Bristol played with as a child.... that was called Abstinence

piper is for the airplane - piper cub.

Yeah, Tim K has got the airplane thing right, which is why my kid ill be named, F-14 fucking tomcat, you can ride my tail anytime!

Okay, I'd have to name my kids:

(body of water)"Eerie"
(city) "Amelia'
(cool name) "Fricka"
(Norse) "Yggdrasil"

of course the last 2 could be interchanged

P.S. At least one kid would have 'Danger' as a middle name.

"DANGER is my middle name!"

Now THAT would be cool!

Their names actually come from their favorite hip hop song...

You gots da crack pipe, cuz you da piper.
You da nigg wit da trig and da finga on da trigga.
Willow on my pillow, if ya know whats I means.
I gots me track marks. And Bristol Cream.

If John McCain comes to his senses and ditches Gov. Palin, I think he should turn his eyes toward Penn Jillette. His little daughter's legal name is Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette. That should placate the right-wing.

1. Show Jumping (have to let my girlfriend name one)
2. Schuylkill
3. Dublin (but I'm wiling to move to Chippewa Falls to change this)
4. Stratofortress
5. Bil (for a girl), Agne (boy)

1. Bullfighting
2. Champlain
3. Francisco
4. Gustav
5. Dammit, someone already used Yggdrasil! Fine ... Loki.

1. Marshall Arts
2. Backyard Pool
3. Paris (Texas, of course)
4. Pass-Around Patty*
5. Gym

*The first girl I had sex with in college, although I am sure she remembers very little of it.

1. Hoops
2. Gowanus
3. Flushing
4. IceCube (very cool name)
5. Trigga

Is anyone else worried about how Sarah Palin will cope with the demands of the campaign trail? Aren't there people she needs to be firing back in Alaska?

Biking (poor kid: Bi King)
JerseyCity (JC works for Xtians)
Temperance (for Tempe Wick)
Loki (very low key)

1. Hockey
2. Pacific
3. Atascadero (translates into "mudhole")
4. Gretzky
5. Band

1. Craps
2. Panama
3. Washington
4. Barack
5. Valkyrie

1. Figure Skating
2. Cross
3. Natchitoches
4. Talon
5. Nidhogg (has the bonus of sounding like some weird Pokemon or something)

Props to the use of "stratafortress" TG Gibbon. :D My dad used to fly those.

Meet my children, Backgammon, Burnhampool, Bernalheights, Fiona, and Thor'sHammer.

Amy K, I guess I should have named my 3rd Tendernob instead.

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