Name Your Children...the American Way!
Guest Blogger: Dave
I resisted the urge to fulfill some of my schadenfreude/morning coffee jitters by image bombing the site with pics of Jamie Lynn Spears...BUT I do think it's high time to start a PALIN MEME of my very own.
Name your children! The Palin way! Todd Palin sez: "Sarah's parents were coaches and the whole family was involved in track and I was an athlete in high school, so with our first-born, I was, like, 'Track!'"
I didn't realize it was that easy! So, your kids' names are:
(1) your favorite sport (Track)
(2) the city body of water near where you grew up (Bristol)
(3) the city in which or nearby where you currently live (Willow)
(4) cool name, of which there are not many (Piper)
(5) something out of Norse mythology (or favorite school subject) (Trig)
My five children's names are: Trick Pool, Annapolis Chesapeake, Philly, Cyclone, and Ragnarok. (Ragnarok's terrible two's are gonna be rough.)
Comments
I thought they were named after Alaska's top industries:
Bristol: fishing
Track: railroads
Piper: oil
Willow: lumber
Trig: hunting
how very gop!
Posted by: therblig | September 2, 2008 10:05 AM
(5) something out of Norse mythology (or favorite school subject)
Alternate for conspiracy diehards: High school subject your pregnancy causes you to miss the most days of.
Posted by: Vance | September 2, 2008 11:17 AM
For me this would probably be Genetics! The teacher of which was pregnant when I took the class. Too many coincidences not to be true.
Posted by: Dave | September 2, 2008 11:18 AM
Bristol Cities is of course cockney rhyming slang...
Posted by: Richard H | September 2, 2008 11:47 AM
Don't forget the screaming baby doll that Bristol played with as a child.... that was called Abstinence
Posted by: Richard H | September 2, 2008 11:48 AM
piper is for the airplane - piper cub.
Posted by: Tim K | September 2, 2008 12:53 PM
Yeah, Tim K has got the airplane thing right, which is why my kid ill be named, F-14 fucking tomcat, you can ride my tail anytime!
Posted by: Original Unironic | September 2, 2008 01:09 PM
Okay, I'd have to name my kids:
(sport)"Beeball"
(body of water)"Eerie"
(city) "Amelia'
(cool name) "Fricka"
(Norse) "Yggdrasil"
of course the last 2 could be interchanged
Posted by: Johnny V | September 2, 2008 03:02 PM
P.S. At least one kid would have 'Danger' as a middle name.
"DANGER is my middle name!"
Now THAT would be cool!
Posted by: Johnny V | September 2, 2008 03:04 PM
Their names actually come from their favorite hip hop song...
You gots da crack pipe, cuz you da piper.
You da nigg wit da trig and da finga on da trigga.
Willow on my pillow, if ya know whats I means.
I gots me track marks. And Bristol Cream.
Posted by: mypalmike | September 2, 2008 03:06 PM
If John McCain comes to his senses and ditches Gov. Palin, I think he should turn his eyes toward Penn Jillette. His little daughter's legal name is Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette. That should placate the right-wing.
Posted by: Tim H | September 2, 2008 03:33 PM
1. Show Jumping (have to let my girlfriend name one)
2. Schuylkill
3. Dublin (but I'm wiling to move to Chippewa Falls to change this)
4. Stratofortress
5. Bil (for a girl), Agne (boy)
Posted by: TG Gibbon | September 2, 2008 03:47 PM
1. Bullfighting
2. Champlain
3. Francisco
4. Gustav
5. Dammit, someone already used Yggdrasil! Fine ... Loki.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | September 2, 2008 05:02 PM
1. Marshall Arts
2. Backyard Pool
3. Paris (Texas, of course)
4. Pass-Around Patty*
5. Gym
*The first girl I had sex with in college, although I am sure she remembers very little of it.
Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 05:19 PM
1. Hoops
2. Gowanus
3. Flushing
4. IceCube (very cool name)
5. Trigga
Posted by: Kathy H | September 2, 2008 05:41 PM
Is anyone else worried about how Sarah Palin will cope with the demands of the campaign trail? Aren't there people she needs to be firing back in Alaska?
Posted by: Richard H | September 2, 2008 10:18 PM
Biking (poor kid: Bi King)
Hudson
JerseyCity (JC works for Xtians)
Temperance (for Tempe Wick)
Loki (very low key)
Posted by: therblig | September 2, 2008 11:07 PM
1. Hockey
2. Pacific
3. Atascadero (translates into "mudhole")
4. Gretzky
5. Band
Posted by: Brian L | September 3, 2008 02:29 AM
1. Craps
2. Panama
3. Washington
4. Barack
5. Valkyrie
Posted by: John McCain | September 3, 2008 02:54 AM
1. Figure Skating
2. Cross
3. Natchitoches
4. Talon
5. Nidhogg (has the bonus of sounding like some weird Pokemon or something)
Props to the use of "stratafortress" TG Gibbon. :D My dad used to fly those.
Posted by: Jessica | September 3, 2008 04:48 AM
Meet my children, Backgammon, Burnhampool, Bernalheights, Fiona, and Thor'sHammer.
Posted by: Amy K. | September 4, 2008 06:10 PM
Amy K, I guess I should have named my 3rd Tendernob instead.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | September 4, 2008 06:12 PM