The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #156
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Winner
"This group is for overcoming poppy-dependency. You two meth-heads need to go next door." —therblig
Finalists
"Judy please don't be upset, but this isn't the Wizard of Oz cast reunion your friends told you it was. We're actually here to discuss your barbiturates addiction." —Trotman
"Sounds like those three times were the only moments she had her heels together." — Damon
Comments
We should all agree right now - what happens in the Emerald City stays in the Emerald City...
Posted by: simsburybear | July 28, 2008 9:48 AM
"This is the Upper West Side. So can we all agree that we're not in fucking Kansas anymore."
Posted by: Richard H | July 28, 2008 9:59 AM
"I'm confused...is `yellow brick road' a metaphor for anal sex?"
Posted by: Damon | July 28, 2008 10:04 AM
"No, Dorothy, it's not unusual to dream about other members of the group. Stan and Brenda, will you two shut the fuck up?"
Posted by: Richard H | July 28, 2008 10:04 AM
"Did anyone else binge this week on Elton John's new ice cream?"
Posted by: Richard H | July 28, 2008 10:08 AM
"This group therapy is bullshit, Gladys, I think I have more engrams now than when we started. If only there were some organization or set of practices that could really help us get rid of our body thetans in a complicated, scientific, and expensive way!"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | July 28, 2008 10:12 AM
"I'll create a diversion. You grab that guy's axe and start swinging."
Posted by: Richard | July 28, 2008 10:17 AM
"Und zo ve see de ving-ed monkies are no more zan ze normal reaction of ze mind to ze zocietal dizlocations of ze Great, unclinical, heh-heh, Depression und ze continuing efforts by Zenators Taft und Lodge to derail ze efforts of President Rozenfelt to eztabilish a modern, mass democracy. For vy did Frank Baum write about zis in the 1890s? Because he ist a magical pixie from space, dot's vy."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | July 28, 2008 10:18 AM
"Yes, we were all touched by the wizard, Steve, but WHERE, exactly, did he touch you?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | July 28, 2008 10:19 AM
"I think Dr. Fuenke is a banana-grabber."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | July 28, 2008 10:21 AM
I suppose I should have expected this from a cosplay withdrawal group, but next time people, street clothes please.
Posted by: therblig | July 28, 2008 10:24 AM
"Sounds like those three times were the only moments she had her heels together."
Posted by: Damon | July 28, 2008 10:26 AM
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain - he's filming these sessions for blackmail purposes.
Posted by: therblig | July 28, 2008 10:27 AM
"Welcome to Otaku Film Club. Let me guess, two of you didn't watch this week's movie?"
[Translated from the Japanese by Jay Rubin]
Posted by: Richard H | July 28, 2008 10:33 AM
"The bad news is that you are all about to be sent to a maximum security prison where you will be tattooed, beaten and anally raped for 5-to-10 years. The good news is that it'll all be on TV."
Posted by: jim M | July 28, 2008 10:43 AM
"And Dorothy, Radosh says if you think you're getting paid for posing for the cover of Rapture Ready
, you're out of your fuckin' mind."Posted by: jim M | July 28, 2008 10:46 AM
My one leg is a penis
Posted by: Brian L | July 28, 2008 10:50 AM
"TOTO ! Not DODO, bitch ! ..See, you've traumatized Dorothy's feelings !"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | July 28, 2008 10:54 AM
"They must be imposters, all the real actors are dead."
Posted by: Brian L | July 28, 2008 10:56 AM
"No, you're wrong - I am a good man. But I'm a very bad psychiatrist. And yes, I mean bad in the sense of 'completely immoral.'"
Posted by: Vance | July 28, 2008 10:56 AM
"There's no place like home, there's no place like home... shit, it's not working - I'm still here with all of you freaks."
Posted by: Vance | July 28, 2008 10:58 AM
If you'll excuse me for a moment, I'm off to bleed the lizard.
Posted by: therblig | July 28, 2008 11:04 AM
"Look, Scarecrow, this is a traditional production of The Wizard of Oz, not 'The Wiz.' I know everyone's feeling that Obama-mania right now, but come on. You just look silly."
Posted by: Vance | July 28, 2008 11:06 AM
"Interesting. So both of you, Bob and Barbara, see the painting to my right as an enormous distended nipple. How about you, Tin Man?"
Posted by: Vance | July 28, 2008 11:22 AM
" Ah, hem ! 'Pussy' is a word we in a mixed therapeutic community always like to avoid, Mr. Calus. Please !"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | July 28, 2008 11:23 AM
"Don't worry about the hourglass running out of sand. The session's only 50 minutes."
Posted by: Richard H | July 28, 2008 11:26 AM
"Tinman, I'm glad you axed that question."
Posted by: jim M | July 28, 2008 11:36 AM
"So now, let me see--which of you has been reporting fears of 'tightened airport security'?"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | July 28, 2008 11:40 AM
"I think we're in the wrong support group."
Posted by: Ted | July 28, 2008 11:53 AM
[Caption withheld until artist polishes half-finished drawing.]
Posted by: J | July 28, 2008 11:57 AM
"For the last time, Mr.Wheat! Our sprinkler system meets every last specification of the city fire code ! ...So wipe that perpetually disgruntled look off your face and quit bitching !"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | July 28, 2008 11:58 AM
"Everything turns to rust, especially the Tin-man."
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | July 28, 2008 12:21 PM
"We all have our crosses to bear, Mr. Strohmann . You yourself during the present campaign season feel that you have been unfairly pestered by various polling organizations. Dorothy, on the other hand...."
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | July 28, 2008 12:23 PM
Well, of course it's a straw man argument.
Posted by: therblig | July 28, 2008 12:23 PM
"Isn't can's ass redundant?"
Posted by: shadysidelantern | July 28, 2008 12:31 PM
"....clams she's not really hungry, just got the munchkins."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | July 28, 2008 12:33 PM
"I recognize everyone except you and the chrome-dome with the goatee."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | July 28, 2008 12:35 PM
"Oh, sorry, of course - Margaret Hamilton - I thought you said Margaret Dumont."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | July 28, 2008 12:39 PM
"Christ, did you even read the ad? It's 'ID' -- the Wizard of ID."
Posted by: Joshua | July 28, 2008 12:42 PM
"Speaking of Lions and Tigers and Bears. If we discuss sex, Dorothy's parents will have us arrested and sue for millions. After we get out of prison we'll be destitute and labeled as child predators, oh my.
Posted by: J. Brown | July 28, 2008 12:45 PM
"Frank Morgan hasn't aged well."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | July 28, 2008 12:46 PM
"Susan, I don't think we're in Narnia anymore."
Posted by: Francis | July 28, 2008 12:48 PM
"That's it, that's it ! We're either going to have to put a muzzle on SOMEONE, or a 'depends' on someone ELSE. ..I'm not mentioning names."
Posted by: Sam L. | July 28, 2008 12:50 PM
"According to this scarecrow, real estate prices in Munchkinland are dirt cheap right now. Even with the cost of the renovations we'd have to make to any property to be able to stand up straight without hitting our heads on the ceiling, I think it would still be a huge savings overall. And the commute is only five minutes by tornado."
Posted by: Francis | July 28, 2008 12:58 PM
"I didn't know we were supposed to wear our costumes to the read-through. I'm so embarrassed."
Posted by: Francis | July 28, 2008 1:02 PM
"Shut up, you two."
Posted by: Francis | July 28, 2008 1:03 PM
"Let's catch our breath, I need to summarize. Lion feels cowardly, Tin-Man thinks he has no heart, Scarecrow is brain-dead, and Dorothy just wants to go home, which I'll allow because of the law."
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | July 28, 2008 1:22 PM
This group is for overcoming poppy-dependency. You two meth-heads need to go next door.
Posted by: therblig | July 28, 2008 1:23 PM
" 'Little pussy', 'big pussy'! Equally traumatizing, whoever the target, Mrs. Smidgeon !"
Posted by: Sam L. | July 28, 2008 1:24 PM
“Flying monkeys, huh? The kind that fly out my butt?”
Posted by: dwilk | July 28, 2008 1:36 PM
"Quick, Contance, give me your lighter, I'll set fire to scarecrow, watch him dance. This quack ain't no Gabriel Byrne."
Posted by: J. Brown | July 28, 2008 1:40 PM
"Dorothy claims he fought her with one hand behind his back and the other inside her pants."
Posted by: dwilk | July 28, 2008 1:43 PM
"Scarecrow, do you consider yourself animal or vegetable?"
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | July 28, 2008 1:56 PM
"Honey, I think we're in the wrong place. This is the support group for people who can't get a heart on."
"Whine whine here, moan moan there, don't even stop to pause. That's how we at-tend ther-a-py in the Merry Old Land of Oz!"
"I think you misheard. The sex therapist is saying it's natural to take up Baum."
Posted by: Trout Almondine | July 28, 2008 2:04 PM
"Key provision of The Patriot Act, that's what! Under penalty of fine, and possible incarceration, my evaluation must not consider which of you 'airport drifters' represented, or may in the future represent, the greater risk to airline safety ! .. Dorothy, care to begin ?"
Posted by: Sam L. | July 28, 2008 2:10 PM
"When we get home, I wanna show you my winged monkey, fuck you like a tornado, and munch your kin."
Posted by: Damon | July 28, 2008 2:12 PM
"If you are reading this letter, it means that I, Toto, am dead. I leave my entire fortune to to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. The rest of you losers get bupkis."
Posted by: firebus | July 28, 2008 2:17 PM
"We're of no use to you, Bill and Ted. We are all fictional characters."
Posted by: Deborah | July 28, 2008 2:22 PM
"We're of no use to you, Bill and Ted. We are all fictional characters."
Posted by: Deborah | July 28, 2008 2:22 PM
now that my entire council of evil has arrived we can begin the meeting
Posted by: martin | July 28, 2008 2:37 PM
"Where are Harold and Kumar?"
Posted by: jim M | July 28, 2008 2:54 PM
"This meeting of the Illuminati is now in session."
Posted by: J.D. | July 28, 2008 3:12 PM
"Judy O.D.'d on the toilet 40 years ago and these other alter kakers have long since croaked from the usual clogged arteries. I think we must be dead."
Posted by: J.D. | July 28, 2008 3:16 PM
"70's office furniture. Very telling."
Posted by: J.D. | July 28, 2008 3:20 PM
"So, what I'm hearing is that the Tin Man feels empty inside, the Lion has body image problems, and the Scarecrow feels he has no real weight in this world. Maybe we should get into Dorothy's abandonment issues"
Posted by: The Baroness | July 28, 2008 3:33 PM
"So wait, how did you 'accidentally' get addicted to opiates?"
Posted by: The Baroness | July 28, 2008 3:41 PM
Stop harping on the wizard! The only one who can fix your problems is you. With me facilitating at $100 a head per session.
Posted by: CountLubinstein | July 28, 2008 3:58 PM
Hold out your paw Lion. Good now close it. Yes! That is how we will crush them!
Posted by: martin | July 28, 2008 4:05 PM
"I am in therapy to take care of some emotional trama associated with a Baum scare. You?"
"OH! THE WITCH'S ASS! I thought you said you 'liquidated the Bitch's assets!'... Well, you DO need a lawyer either way!"
"Why is C. Everett Koop here? I don't like this acid trip anymore!"
Posted by: Johnny V | July 28, 2008 4:06 PM
"Hey... take notes for me... I have to take a Wiz."
Posted by: Johnny V | July 28, 2008 4:09 PM
He's right. I have been following my jaundiced dick down this road. The only road I've ever known.
Posted by: inky tea | July 28, 2008 4:43 PM
"Why is Alan Greenspan here?"
Posted by: The Confidence Man | July 28, 2008 4:45 PM
"Yes, it does rather concern me how the dirty old creep keeps undressi.. er, addressing Dorothy as 'you little cutesy pie' in that oily voice. I mean, analysis ain't free, you know !"
Posted by: Sam L. | July 28, 2008 5:00 PM
"My name is Quincy Magoo, and I'm an alcoholic."
Posted by: mypalmike | July 28, 2008 5:01 PM
"Psst, Peter ! Isn't she just the most precious little girl ? ..If only you weren't so totally damned impotent Viagra couldn' ....O.K., 'Freud' here said 'shut-up'."
Posted by: Sam L. | July 28, 2008 5:21 PM
I wish he would draw the blinds ...better.
Posted by: Urgh | July 28, 2008 5:29 PM
"O.K., already ! We'll adopt--no one else claiming. But I won't have that mutt ! You know I'm allergic ! ...Doc's saying 'shut-up'."
Posted by: Sam L. | July 28, 2008 5:38 PM
"These sessions are much more interesting now. You know, with the bong hits and 'Dark Side of the Moon' playing. Hey, did I just say something?"
Posted by: mypalmike | July 28, 2008 5:40 PM
"You frigin' blind, honey ?! You know damn well 'Heavy Hand' Dernavich could never have fathered such a sweet little kid ! ....Get real !"
Posted by: Von Go | July 28, 2008 8:26 PM
"So you all admit to being a 'friend of Dorothy," but none of you will cop to being gay."
Posted by: Bruce | July 28, 2008 8:44 PM
"Psst ! I thought Kissinger was advising McCain. And look, with that thick foreign drawl of his, this could run up a bill !"
Posted by: Von Go | July 28, 2008 8:46 PM
"The DNA test shows that Dorothy was penatrated by nearly all of you. And the child she's carrying is... Can I have a drum roll, somebody?"
Posted by: Losha | July 28, 2008 8:50 PM
"Can someone draw us better please? For all I know, the guy next to Dorothy is Deputy Dawg, and those two people in front of me are from the future."
Posted by: Harold | July 28, 2008 8:53 PM
I swear to God that little girl is on my milk carton.
Posted by: boneguy | July 28, 2008 9:02 PM
Woman: "O.K, but I do know Drew Dernavich had a hand in this somewhere...maybe that 'artwork' on the wall ?" Group Therapist: "Hey, shut up, already !"
Posted by: Von Go | July 28, 2008 9:03 PM
"So what I seem to be hearing from the group is that even though everyone got their heart's desires they still feel more or less empty and unfullfilled. Is that a fair assessment? What a surprise eh? You didn't see that what coming, eh? Tin man? Strawman? What's a mattah, Lion, ya gutless wonder!"
I could get a hug for that insight? Dorothy? Straw man?"
Posted by: Mort Drucker | July 28, 2008 9:30 PM
"Aunty Em, would you please ask your obviously gay companion to stop ogling the Tin-Man. He's creeping out the whole group."
Posted by: Mort Drucker | July 28, 2008 9:34 PM
"I think I'm getting a hemorrhoid, too! That's just weird."
"I'm going to tape his mouth shut, you beat him to a bloody pulp. No lion'll turn down an easy meal."
Posted by: WillM | July 28, 2008 9:43 PM
"Since I'm a stuffed shirt, I'm resonating with the Scarecrow. As for the rest of you, I said GO!"
Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | July 28, 2008 9:47 PM
Let's cut things short. John Wayne Gacy is my next follow-up and I'm actually looking forward to it.
Posted by: LK | July 28, 2008 10:05 PM
"Hello, my name is Henry Kissinger. Tonight, we're here in the Oval Office with Dick and Pat Nixon. Some people believe President Bush has lost touch with reality. First, I'll ask Hillary to tell us what Toto thinks about Bill's scarecrow disguise. Then it's Obama's turn to axe the next question. Finally, McCain can huff and puff until he blows up again."
Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | July 28, 2008 10:30 PM
"Honey, I don't think he's a real therapist."
Posted by: Pseudonym | July 28, 2008 11:04 PM
My dear, why are you so pitifully afraid? Immortality has been the dream, the inspiration of mankind through the ages. And I am going to give you immortality!
Posted by: Glime | July 28, 2008 11:47 PM
"To sum up, then: Dorothy is 'delinquent'; Scarecrow is 'destroyed'; the marrieds are 'Detroit'; Tinman's 'delayed'--to say the least; and Lion is 'delicate'--to say no more, okay. ..Is that the order ?"
Posted by: Von Go | July 29, 2008 12:03 AM
"I'll be blunt. The Wizard of the Federal Reserve needs your help to bail out this lion's investment bank."
Posted by: Cryptic Ned | July 29, 2008 3:22 AM
"You're probably saying to yourself, the ad said the girl was of marriageable age, and that girl is awfully young. Well, thank god we're in international waters. Let's start the bidding"
Posted by: Cryptic Ned | July 29, 2008 3:26 AM
"Ma'am, you can't be Mr. Black. If I let you be Mr. Black, then everybody'll want to be Mr. Black. So you're Mr. Whore."
Posted by: Cryptic Ned | July 29, 2008 3:31 AM
"I'm tired of listening to this. Can he hook us up with opium from the poppies or not?"
"Oh my god, if he only had a brain!"
"I could wile away these sessions
Hearing psychos give confessions
'Bout the voices in their heads
Although I'm just fakin'
I wouldn't mind the time it's takin'
If I only had some meds
Posted by: JohnnyB | July 29, 2008 7:33 AM
I mean "while away the sessions"
Posted by: JohnnyB | July 29, 2008 7:35 AM
"I thought you said this was a meeting of the National Socialist Party."
Posted by: J. Brown | July 29, 2008 11:00 AM
Can we agree that at this year's OzFest there will no munchkins biting off bat heads?
Posted by: therblig | July 29, 2008 11:55 AM
" All yee in favor of renaming "THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD" .... to the "INCONTINENT COWARDLY LION MEMORIAL FREEWAY" please raise your hand (or paw)! "
Posted by: Dr Sumguy | July 29, 2008 12:53 PM
Lois, I told you our sex life is fine. These people are really fucked up
Posted by: Ryan W | July 29, 2008 12:59 PM
"I'm sorry. I had the refried beans in the cafeteria."
Posted by: galoux | July 29, 2008 1:11 PM
"Well, they did warn us not to take the brown acid."
Posted by: Bou | July 29, 2008 1:19 PM
"And pay no attention to the little man behind the blinds."
Posted by: jim M | July 29, 2008 2:40 PM
Ok, let me recap: a brain, a heart, uh, da noive, a home, quit smoking, and orgasms. Is that everyone?
Posted by: therblig | July 29, 2008 3:43 PM
"Now, when I asked for a Tic-Tac before the session began, are you sure you didn't pass me one of your meds? Because I have to be honest, I'm tripping balls here."
"Boy, the state of mental health care in America is worse than I thought."
Posted by: Ellie | July 29, 2008 5:48 PM
"I don't like this session. I don't like it here. I want out. Please, let's go. Please, Jenny. I'm not comfortable. Please. Oh god...do you...smell that? Someone just pissed themselves! Please? NOW?"
Posted by: Damon | July 29, 2008 6:02 PM
"It was my idea to stage an all-white version of 'The Wiz'."
Posted by: Mr. Sad Head | July 29, 2008 7:26 PM
"Before you got here, Glinda called Dr. Goldstein a Jew retard and made fun of his accent before storming out. Good witch, my ass. "
Posted by: Mr. Sad Head | July 29, 2008 8:17 PM
"In another minute, a whole lot of flying monkies will emerge from my butt. It's a trick I learned from a Uruguayan Shaman. In the meantime, the topic is dream vacations. Discuss amongst yourselves!"
Posted by: Mort Drucker | July 29, 2008 9:52 PM
"When I tap my heels three times you will remember nothing."
Posted by: Mort Drucker | July 29, 2008 9:55 PM
'You may know me as Alan Greenspan, but did you know I once tried out for the part of Toto?"
"Here at the psychodrama Institute of Oz we believe in healing not cures. Now I understand we have some witch and monkey killers amongst us? And maybe some cowards, retards, autistic types and runaways as well?
"I'm the Wiz. Nobody beats me! I'm the Wiz. Ha ha ha!"
Posted by: Mort Drucker | July 29, 2008 10:09 PM
"This is the worst production of 'Krapp's Last Tape' since the Muppets'"
Posted by: Eusless Tilley | July 29, 2008 10:47 PM
"Wow! Dr. Schlichtor can really hold those high notes!"
Posted by: Eusless Tilley | July 29, 2008 10:48 PM
"I'm mostly here because it's just up the block from my favorite Arby's."
Posted by: Eusless Tilley | July 29, 2008 10:51 PM
"Those diplomas to the right of the window? I drew them! I dipped my weiner in egg termpra and drew them!"
Posted by: Eusless Tilley | July 29, 2008 10:52 PM
"That perfect embouchure of his would be a perfect fit for my you-know-what."
Posted by: Eusless Tilley | July 29, 2008 10:58 PM
"Today Dorothy is going to explain why she blames you all for her agoraphobia."
Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | July 29, 2008 11:15 PM
"Let's take a break and go to the movies. Anybody need to take a wiz?"
Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | July 29, 2008 11:31 PM
We really need to get better wheel chairs. You know, the kind that actually have wheels.
Posted by: Liz M. | July 30, 2008 12:46 AM
"And Dorothy, when Tin Man called you a 'moping, doe-eyed bitch,' how did that make you feel?"
"Believe it or not, these days, I can't get wood most of the time."
"You see? We all struggle with the same things: needing to find our way, to be accepted for who we are, what 'home' means to us, and freakishly bright colorization."
"Dorothy, I know sometimes you feel like you're the only one in the world with ruby slippers you just can't pull off, but really, you're not alone."
"I have fantasies about Dorothy sometimes. I'm probably the only guy who has, right?"
Posted by: Joel Jacobs | July 30, 2008 9:10 AM
After our suicide bombing of the Nebraska State Fair, the world will fear the power of Hamoz.
Posted by: therblig | July 30, 2008 10:12 AM
I'm haunted by the faces of my victims.
Posted by: Adam G | July 30, 2008 10:25 AM
"Yes, you are all speechless, aren't you! You hear the voice of Scarecrow in your minds! When the Wizard gave me a Bachelor's degree instead of the brain I asked for, it was all I needed to get in to Baylor College for grad school. There I began my quest to clone the ultimate brain, one that could control the latent psychic powers that have lain dormant inside man and scarecrow since the dawn of time. And like Prometheus stealing fire from the gods, I've finally succeeded. 'How about a little fire, Scarecrow?', indeed. That's why I've brought you here: to exact my revenge. On you, Dorothy, for letting Toto urinate on me at night! And on you, Jenny and Steve, for being such shitty lab partners and making me do all the work. And on you, Professor Gruber, for giving me a C in Gross Anatomy! You're the one who's gross! I'm not leaving here until I make someone's head explode. Trust me on that one. Terrified, yet? No, don't close your mouth. Don't even look at me. I haven't given you permission."
Posted by: Mr. Sad Head | July 30, 2008 10:36 AM
"O.K., yeah ! 'Dottie' is looking better and better every week ! Alright, O.K. ! Least I'm not slabbing 1/4 in. lipstick on the lower lip like some trollop,yeah, rouged-up 1/8 in. like some damn trollop ! Eye-shadow ! ...Yeah, taking a page out of Cindy McCain, most likely !"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | July 30, 2008 12:51 PM
"Delusional fantasies involving bestiality, polygamy and cross-dressing?...I love our son as much as you, but will our insurance cover all this?"
Posted by: al in la | July 30, 2008 1:08 PM
Man : "Scarecrow 'evil eyes' Lion for minutes, so Lion (natch!)takes offense...see there, Lion balls his, his fist ...I don't like this..uh-oh...luckily, Tin Man .." Analyst: "Interesting 'free association', Mr. Testorone. .. Dorothy, you're on."
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | July 30, 2008 1:51 PM
Forget the brain for a minute, scarecrow, what you need is a pair of balls so you can tell Dorothy how you really feel.
Posted by: jason | July 30, 2008 2:22 PM
"If you two continue with the private conversation the lion is going to 'Roy' your asses. Capiche?"
"If either of you have an idea to help get Dorothy off the smack, perhaps you would like to tell the whole group?"
"Tin man, oil us all down. It's time to get this orgy started!"
Posted by: MAtt | July 30, 2008 4:11 PM
"The little bitch has outbid us on every frigin' piece, Harry ! Whozis, Michaela 'Diddly' Jackson, or somethin' ?! ..Harryeeeeee !"
Posted by: Von Go | July 30, 2008 4:40 PM
I can't speak for Toto, but I would need a lifetime of therapy after spending a weekend up Richard Gere's ass.
Posted by: boneguy | July 30, 2008 4:45 PM
" Next on the agenda is the underwear swap! Scarecrow switch with Tinman, Toto exchange with Lion, and I'll take Dorothy's thong. "
Posted by: Dr Sumguy | July 30, 2008 5:21 PM
"Know what? Not only is he really dead, he's truly most sincerely dead."
Posted by: al in la | July 30, 2008 6:06 PM
"In view of last week's totally revolting confessions, I feel it may be therapeutic to actually raise 'castration anxiety' in a number of you freaks ! ..Mr. Parsons, you should really change chairs with your wife, sit next to my TIN MAN ! ... Scarecrow--forget it with Mrs. Parson ! Disgusting ! Hands off--TIN MAN will be waaatchhiiiig ! ..Now who else ? O.K., Dorothy, you're clear ! .. Oh, yes, and you, too, of course, Mr. 'no balls' Lion !"
Posted by: Sam L. | July 30, 2008 7:22 PM
"So, Dorothy, your best friend in Oz was a girl who was raised as a boy unaware of his sex but after his adventures in defeating a mass of militant girls was himself turned back into a girl, transforming from an angelic child to a spitfire glamour-girl during the time you knew her? Right? OK, and why exactly did you sign up for therapy?"
Posted by: Vance | July 31, 2008 1:44 AM
"I haven't seen you here before. How long have you been a sexaholic?"
Posted by: David John | July 31, 2008 6:00 AM
"Boy, when it comes to trust falls, the Lion can't take a joke."
Posted by: David John | July 31, 2008 6:09 AM
So, is this guy on my right Professor "axe"?
Posted by: Japonelio | July 31, 2008 7:01 AM
“I’m seeing straw brains trying to coerce tin cans into whacking chicken shit.”
Posted by: dwilk | July 31, 2008 8:18 AM
"Actually, I never saw that movie. Is it similar to Mystic River?"
Posted by: dwilk | July 31, 2008 8:22 AM
"This chair is really digging into my back! How come he always hogs the only good one?!"
Posted by: Mr. Sad Head | July 31, 2008 12:49 PM
"Please stop talking, you two. This is a circle for a ritual sacrifice, not an afternoon tea social."
Posted by: Ellie | July 31, 2008 1:20 PM
"Did I hear that right? They 'melted' some old crazy women and got sent to anger management? That's some good fucking lawyer!"
Posted by: al in la | July 31, 2008 1:46 PM
They probably just look weird to you 'cause this is the book version, not the movie version.
Posted by: Grizzly Dad | July 31, 2008 4:25 PM
"They finally found Toto, washed ashore at Montauk Point. He was almost unrecognizable."
"They're suffering from Post-Traumatic Shoe Disorder."
"Do you think this Dr. Oz is a humbug?"
Posted by: David F | July 31, 2008 4:32 PM
" The board has finally approved Mr.Tinman's WD-40 enema, to be administered by Dorothy, per his request! "
Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 5:31 PM
"Zzzzzzzzz"
Posted by: RichM | July 31, 2008 5:45 PM
*No talking. Everyone is paralyzed in fear as Tin Man snaps and threatens to kill everyone in the room with his axe.*
Posted by: Trotman | July 31, 2008 8:54 PM
"Judy please don't be upset, but this isn't the Wizard of Oz cast reunion your friends told you it was. We're actually here to discuss your barbiturates addiction."
Posted by: Trotman | July 31, 2008 9:23 PM
"I think they just said something about Recreate '39"
Posted by: Dex | July 31, 2008 10:10 PM
"Pssst, Aunt Em. When he wakes up, we'll all hold him down and the Cowardly Lion will pants him. He could use a new pair."
Posted by: GreenieStickemCaps | August 1, 2008 4:15 AM
"Honey, is it just me, or does the psychiatrist look an awful lot like a Generation X-haired Alan Greenspan?"
Posted by: Erik | August 1, 2008 6:25 AM
[to the tune of 'One of These Things Doesn't Belong Here'] "Two of these people, don't belong here...two of these people are not - like - the others. Two of these people, don't belong here...'couples with low self-esteem'- that's down the hall."
Posted by: Mike F. | August 1, 2008 12:19 PM
"It's just that I feel like Tin Man always has an ax to grind."
Posted by: Dennis Quinn | August 1, 2008 3:11 PM
This, my pet axiom, applies to the Group as a whole, "When you follow the yellow brick road...."...Oh, I'm so sorry, we're out of time, we take this up next week.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | August 1, 2008 9:56 PM
That Dorothy's a fag hag.
Posted by: Shawn | August 1, 2008 10:46 PM
"Okay Gladys, you made your point. Now maybe I should bring in Donny Osmond and Bobby Sherman and we can talk about repressed urges from your adolescence."
Posted by: al in la | August 2, 2008 3:46 AM
"Sorry, I had a whole lot of beans at lunch."
Posted by: Hedley | August 2, 2008 9:18 AM
"Let's just say that it has something to do with 'Kansas vs. Board of Education,' and leave it at that."
Posted by: Mike F. | August 2, 2008 3:05 PM
Aren't you glad we got the Blu-ray director's cut version of the Wizard? It's totally like we're in the room while he's reviewing the script.
Posted by: Fred M | August 2, 2008 3:21 PM
"But above all, what I need to know of my patients is how they cross their legs. That's always sooooooo revealing ! ....Dorothy ?"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | August 2, 2008 3:29 PM
"You know the original novel is really quite good. It's earthy, and devoid of slick showbiz irony, and thus quite affecting. It's a pity no one reads it anymore."
Posted by: J.D. | August 2, 2008 3:58 PM
"I just don't know,honey ! Mr. Gallup wants to know which 'candidate type' we would prefer to see in The White House next time. Take 'Scarecrow' for starters , don't you think he might be a little too close to what we already got in there ? ...'Cowardly Lion' ? Hell, you just know he'd out-Chamberlain Neville Chamberlain! ....So 'Dorothy' ??"
Posted by: N.O. it all ! | August 2, 2008 4:09 PM
"Ok. Two of you failed to participate in our "dress-up as an inspirational figure day. The other four, why the ,oh Chrissakes".
Posted by: Greg | August 2, 2008 6:22 PM