The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #143
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Winner
"Well, I think that speaks for itself and we can...AGH!! MEN IN CHAIRS!!!" —seth
Finalists
"Getting a cab is easy for us white people." —Nick
"My surprise at the arrival of this taxi has caused me to evacuate my bowels with a great sense of entitlement." —kosmicki
Honorable mention
"Thank you, Jenkins. When you've finished pushing it up the stairs, just leave it in the hallway until we've finished our drinks." —Francis
[No one here has their mouth open. Therefore no one is talking. And I'm typing this with my mind.] —J
"Oh shit, Judd Hirsch is back. Thankfully there's not an open seat. Someone has to tell him this club is restricted."— JohnnyB
"When did we start letting Pakis in?" —Ernest
"Bloody Transformers." —Dave W
"Did someone call for a comic anomaly?" —Joshua
"Steady boys, we're safe within our cocoon of privilege and wealth." —R.K.
Comments
I spy, with my little eye, something that is yellow.
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 10:02 AM
(singing) Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot.
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 10:02 AM
Jeebus H. Crackers! I better lay off the hooch!
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 10:03 AM
It's not a taxi, it's a tax! And the make of the car is...wait for it...it's an Evrolet!!! Ah ha ha!!! Oh, um, I'm sorry. I've been participating in this contest for too long.
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 10:04 AM
"There you are, Herbie. Come in and meet the rest of the family."
Posted by: Deborah | April 14, 2008 10:04 AM
Mind the wainscotting, dipshit!
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 10:04 AM
Poor Johnson. Ever since the crash, he's been living in his car...
Posted by: simsburybear | April 14, 2008 10:04 AM
Gentlemen, may I remind you that, while third-quarter profits have indeed risen over five percent, it is following a loss of....YEEAAAAARRRRGH!!!!!
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 10:04 AM
Dick!
Posted by: simsburybear | April 14, 2008 10:05 AM
"Did someone call a cab?"
"Damn foreign taxi drivers."
"Oh shit, DeNiro's back."
"Oh shit, Judd Hirsch is back. Thankfully there's not an open seat. Someone has to tell him this club is restricted."
Posted by: JohnnyB | April 14, 2008 10:07 AM
“Shit! They sent us Bickle again—Mr. Anywhere, anytime."
Posted by: dwilk | April 14, 2008 10:16 AM
"Thank you, Jenkins. When you've finished pushing it up the stairs, just leave it in the hallway until we've finished our drinks."
Posted by: Francis | April 14, 2008 10:18 AM
"That's unusual, even for this elite club."
"Stay still. Maybe he won't see the lamps..."
"Here's someone now to clean all the dust off these portraits. The person is in that taxi."
Posted by: Gripes | April 14, 2008 10:22 AM
"The alleys here are, well, you know."
"Right on cue, it's Commander McBragg showboating again."
"Odd, I didn't call for a cab."
"Oy gevalt! When will these autograph-hounds learn - Herbie the Love Bug is NOT a member of the Friars Club! Never has been!"
"It's OK. I think these hallucinations are caused by my Parkinson's meds."
Posted by: gary | April 14, 2008 10:23 AM
“I asked James for a Cab around 55 degrees, and that’s the best he could do.”
Posted by: dwilk | April 14, 2008 10:31 AM
"Oh, good! Who's up for a carbecue?"
Posted by: Glenn | April 14, 2008 10:34 AM
"Perhaps the driver is Dan Radosh, who might have confused 142nd Street and 143rd Street as well as Anti-Caption Contest 142 and Anti-Caption Contest 143. Or maybe not."
Posted by: David F | April 14, 2008 10:35 AM
[[THIS IS THE BEST ONE:
"There you are, Herbie. Come in and meet the rest of the family."]]
Posted by: JH | April 14, 2008 10:38 AM
"I know this is really good acid, but I still miss quaaludes."
Posted by: NJtoTX | April 14, 2008 10:53 AM
"Oh, I say, what, what? Jolly good shew, I say. If I'm not very much mistaken, this is some sort of a dashed taxi, I dare say."
"No, bozo, you were supposed to turn left at 59th and go downtown. That's where all the whores are - well, other than Jenkins here."
"Remember Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel? Well in this case, the entire club was built by a guy in a taxicab, and so... I don't know. I wasn't here when it happened."
Posted by: Vance | April 14, 2008 11:01 AM
[No one here has their mouth open. Therefore no one is talking. And I'm typing this with my mind.]
Posted by: J | April 14, 2008 11:19 AM
"Now there's something you don't see everyday. At least since congestion pricing kicked in. People are generally unwilling to fellate their cab driver just for a trip to the second floor. I'm sure right now Harry wishes he'd been paralyzed from the neck up, instead of from the neck down."
Posted by: J | April 14, 2008 11:25 AM
"Getting a cab is easy for us white people."
Posted by: Nick | April 14, 2008 11:30 AM
"My ride is here. Shall we meet next week at the same time?"
"So, you still think you are safe from drive by shootings in here?"
"Looks like someone needs to update the maps in their GPS."
"I'm highly pissed that he keeps spinning his wheels thinking the chassis will magically become unstuck, but the feeling is mitigated by the awesome high from the carbon monoxide. How long until we die?"
Posted by: MAtt | April 14, 2008 11:38 AM
Why aren't we surprised to see a cab drive up the stairs? Well, wer're not stupid, that's why. It's really not surprising at all that the cab can make it the stairs, given that it has 4-wheel-drive, as evidenced by the front differential we can see between the front wheels.
Posted by: Weller | April 14, 2008 12:01 PM
No no no... I meant 'Cabernet'!
Posted by: Kyle | April 14, 2008 12:11 PM
"Funny thing about the energy crisis. It's cheaper for me to take a cab down the stairs than to use the electric stair climber or elevator."
"Okay... you are a cab!"
"Damn, that's MY parking space!"
Posted by: Johnny V | April 14, 2008 12:18 PM
"VROOM VROOM"
Posted by: Ernest | April 14, 2008 12:22 PM
"When did we start letting Pakis in?"
Posted by: Ernest | April 14, 2008 12:23 PM
"Since we don't have goalposts we use lamps, and well Roger, you have three seconds to figure out the rest. Enjoy the game."
Posted by: ben c | April 14, 2008 1:01 PM
"Take a left down this first hallway, then the second right, the one right after the the fern. Then you'll go all the way down the hall, keep going straight, and you'll see a silver door on the left-hand side. It's the only silver door in here. Talk to Karen, she's the one at the desk, and she should be able to help you out."
Posted by: ben c | April 14, 2008 1:05 PM
"Best...getaway sequence...ever."
"I bet the faces on those portraits would be pretty livid right now if they could see past that shitstorm of dust."
"This is nothing. Yesterday they pissed on that lamp shade over there."
"How embarrassing that our guest can not afford his own car. At least he didn't take mass transit."
Posted by: NecroDew | April 14, 2008 1:08 PM
“That must be Carstairs now.”
Posted by: dwilk | April 14, 2008 1:10 PM
"I'm back from rehab, thanks for asking, and I've kicked my...my...veni vidi something-o-leevio habit. No I haven't! Gawd that felt good! Veni vidi taxi-don't-o-leevio without meeeeee!!!"
Posted by: Chris | April 14, 2008 1:17 PM
"I've always wanted to ask: What's the difference between a taxi, a cab and a taxicab?"
Posted by: Tim H | April 14, 2008 1:27 PM
"If they weren't so -- I don't know -- low-brow, I'd be tempted to call those Car Talk guys just about know."
Posted by: Kathy H | April 14, 2008 1:29 PM
Bloody Transformers.
Posted by: Dave W | April 14, 2008 1:30 PM
"...just about now."
Posted by: Kathy H | April 14, 2008 1:30 PM
"...what the...!! And is that Pope Benedict in the back seat?!!"
Posted by: Tim H | April 14, 2008 1:32 PM
Who's your daddy now?
Posted by: yoland | April 14, 2008 1:34 PM
!Transformers
More than meets the eye
Transformers
Robots in Disguise!
!Prepare to strike
There'll be no place to run
When your caught within the grip
Of the evil Megatron!
!Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of
The Decepticons!
Transformers
!The Battle's over but the war has just begun
And this way it will remain til the day when all are one!
Posted by: anonymous | April 14, 2008 1:38 PM
I had asked for a pinot noir, not for the pénis noir of that swarthy cabbie! Ah, what the heck. I'll take it.
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 1:42 PM
Oh my God! Oh my God! If that isn't the wackiest thing that I've ever seen!!! OH MY GOD!!! Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah-- Sure, I'll fuck you, Bob.
Posted by: Jimby | April 14, 2008 1:43 PM
Here's Brad Pitt, right on time. The paparazzi must be camped out downstairs. Last week John Travolta flew his plane in here.
Posted by: Fred M | April 14, 2008 1:45 PM
"Where the hell is my glass of cabernet? I ordered a 'nice cab' two hours ago, and the waitress just goofed off making this ridiculous ice sculpture."
Posted by: mypalmike | April 14, 2008 1:45 PM
"Bloody American tourists!"
Posted by: mypalmike | April 14, 2008 1:53 PM
I had asked for a merlot, and OH MY GOD IT IS PAUL FREAKIN' GIAMATTI ABOUT TO RUN ME OVER! HE REALLY DOESN'T LIKE MERLOT!!!!
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 2:00 PM
"Cripes! One of us had better say something funny, and pronto."
"I've often thought of my last moments on earth, but I must admit I never thought they'd look like this."
Posted by: Mark | April 14, 2008 2:07 PM
Unbelievable. I ordered a "cab", and instead of cabernet sauvignon, they send in a taxi with a bottle of cabernet franc! I mean, who hears "cab" and thinks cabernet franc?
Posted by: kejo | April 14, 2008 2:16 PM
"We must all be fuckin' retards, 'cause all we can seem to think of is the similarity between this particular cab and various takes on the word cabernet. Like I said, retards."
Posted by: Kathy H | April 14, 2008 2:33 PM
"Gentlemen, may I introduce to you the late Cab Calloway!"
Posted by: Tim H | April 14, 2008 2:37 PM
"Uh-oh, here's Marchmain. Don't say anything about taxicabs."
"First Batman and Robin now DC Cab? What's with he Joel Schumacher retrospective?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | April 14, 2008 3:04 PM
"I love it when the economy sucks. Inferiors work so much harder for a little trickle-down."
Posted by: kosmicki | April 14, 2008 3:18 PM
"Judd f-ing Hirsh! I sure have missed you since you did that Will Smith movie and that crappy 'Numbers' TV show!"
"Bob, don't take a cab... I'll have my limo take the elevator and you can get home in style!"
"I think the chandelier looks like a ballerina... What do you guys think?"
Posted by: Johnny V | April 14, 2008 3:18 PM
Well, I think that speaks for itself and we can...AGH!! MEN IN CHAIRS!!!
Posted by: seth | April 14, 2008 3:36 PM
"Now, as I was saying about the evolutionary breakdown of communism in the former Soviet Union...oh crap! How'd that get in here?"
Posted by: Lux | April 14, 2008 3:56 PM
"I guess aerodynamic design doesn't matter much when you're driving indoors."
Posted by: Kathy H | April 14, 2008 3:58 PM
"Sorry, but on second thought, I don't think we want a fourth for bridge."
Posted by: Tim H | April 14, 2008 4:00 PM
“Let's talk front end alignment, boys. Cosgrove— where did your wife have her breasts done?"
Posted by: dwilk | April 14, 2008 4:12 PM
I said "Heil, Hitler," not "HAIL, Hitler."
Posted by: LK | April 14, 2008 4:19 PM
"I say, Throckmorton, when parking on a staircase does one turn the front wheels sharply toward the wall or the balustrade?"
Posted by: LV | April 14, 2008 4:22 PM
I think it says something about the decline in our membership standards when one arrives here by taxi instead of by limo.
Posted by: therblig | April 14, 2008 4:23 PM
Bill was about to make a Cabernet joke, when he remembered his 3 year old son had just gone down the stairs.
Posted by: Jimby | April 14, 2008 4:26 PM
And at these dues, you won't get many more!
Posted by: therblig | April 14, 2008 4:42 PM
I think I speak for all of us when I say that does not be no phat hooptie.
Posted by: therblig | April 14, 2008 4:57 PM
"Oh good, the vehicular prostitute is here. Who wants to be first to roger it up the tailpipe?"
Posted by: Francis | April 14, 2008 5:08 PM
Sitting in the posh Somerset Club sipping whiskey as they had been doing for 25 years, the identical McGuire triplets were amazed to suddenly, simultaneously notice a face in the chandelier.
Posted by: djack | April 14, 2008 5:27 PM
"Why? Because he makes me laugh."(Said by the lady inside the taxi as it drives off)
Posted by: Jimby | April 14, 2008 5:56 PM
"I do say, I quite enjoy relaxing with a single malt after an early morning hunt. Though preserving the dead little buggers is a dodgy business. Oh, jolly good. The taxidermist has arrived."
Posted by: mypalmike | April 14, 2008 6:15 PM
First, cell phones. Now this. Shoot me now.
Posted by: SK | April 14, 2008 6:23 PM
Oh, shut the fuck up Crenshaw. You know 'Cabin in the Sky' trumps 'West Side Story' anytii... Jeeezus! That incessant idling... could one of you please shove that cab up your ass so I can hear myself think??
Posted by: SK | April 14, 2008 6:28 PM
"My work here is done." (said by Taxidermist as he drives off)
Posted by: Anonymous | April 14, 2008 6:28 PM
oops, that last one (taxidermist) was mine.
Posted by: Jimby | April 14, 2008 6:29 PM
"1962 has been a disaster. I say we shoot that cocksucker Kennedy."
Posted by: J.D. | April 14, 2008 6:30 PM
"I wonder how many farts this chair has absorbed over the decades."
Posted by: J.D. | April 14, 2008 6:44 PM
"Let's drink to Ethel Skull, 36 times!"
Posted by: J.D. | April 14, 2008 6:54 PM
No Chalmners, I don't believe the driver speaks English
Posted by: Alice | April 14, 2008 7:01 PM
"Don't tip the son of a bitch."
Posted by: Glenn | April 14, 2008 7:06 PM
"For crying out loud ! You don't which to fear most, the legal Pakistanis or the illegal ones !"
Posted by: Sam L. | April 14, 2008 7:46 PM
You were right, Winslow. An escalator would have been much more convenient.
Posted by: Urgh | April 14, 2008 7:49 PM
"The HUMMERer, the 'dumberer' ! Jesus H. Christ...... !"
Posted by: Sam L. | April 14, 2008 7:51 PM
" 'Whore-on-the-floor' ! As though Fauntleroy could slip one past us !"
Posted by: Sam L. | April 14, 2008 8:07 PM
We've secretly replaced one of these men's head with a coffee filter. Let's see if a New York cabbie can tell the difference.
Posted by: Jimby | April 14, 2008 8:11 PM
You are late Barry
Posted by: Chris | April 14, 2008 8:18 PM
Why are you wearing those stupid human suits?
Posted by: Chris | April 14, 2008 8:20 PM
Well the same team that developed the Veg-O-Matic designed their GPS system.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | April 14, 2008 8:31 PM
"Up the down staircase. Again."
Posted by: Dave | April 14, 2008 9:08 PM
"I figure let's make the most of gasoline while it's still around."
Posted by: Dave | April 14, 2008 9:11 PM
"'And here, she's acting happy,
Inside her handsome home.
And me, I'm flying in my taxi,
Taking tips, and getting stoned' ...
Hey gents - does a chick named Sue live here?"
Posted by: earlg | April 14, 2008 9:21 PM
Now this is the kind of mushroom trip I was talking about -- fuck that hippie shit that Darrin brought last week.
Posted by: Jason Olshefsky | April 15, 2008 12:11 AM
"...and with all we've accomplished and everything we have, really....aren't we also ever so fortunate to have the best seats to view this incident?"
Posted by: Greg | April 15, 2008 12:13 AM
" Hillary-- excuse me, Hillary Rodham !-- trolling for 'superdelegates' ? Come, come, Ravenswood ! In a Budget Cab ?! ....We have heard no gunfire !"
Posted by: Sam L. | April 15, 2008 12:58 AM
“It was so perfect. I pushed Helen down the stairs, then had a cabbie drive over her body so it would look like an accident.”
Posted by: dwilk | April 15, 2008 1:11 AM
"Good ol' DODGE ! Fine car, fine 'sociations ! Wife-dodging....Tax-dodging !....Hello ! Speak of the devil !....Hic !"
Posted by: Sam L. | April 15, 2008 1:21 AM
"Nice try Osama, but sorry -- not scary. Maybe you want to think bigger next time."
Posted by: TQS | April 15, 2008 3:09 AM
[TQS FTW, IMHO]
"Taximeter cabriolet? A cabriolet, you know, a kind of conveyance, outfitted with a taximeter, a meter which determines a rate of payment based on time and/or distance. But don't take my word for it, Jervis, here's one now."
"You know we site here in the windowless hallway of a flea-ridden southside boarding house but to me it's like some fancy Englishman's private club. Just imagine portrits on the walls and shandyleers over the stairs. And taxis for everyone! More sterno, Sir Digby Chicken Caesar?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | April 15, 2008 5:02 AM
"sit here"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | April 15, 2008 5:04 AM
Farnsworth, masturbation is tolerated and encouraged here at Brushwood. But why must you always stare at taxis wedged in stairways to get off. It's costing the club a fortune to accommodate you.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | April 15, 2008 5:13 AM
I know we've been Seiking new members Bob, but it's getting ridiculous.
Posted by: R. Mutt | April 15, 2008 8:48 AM
"The Democrats aren't even in the White House yet, and here comes a new tax."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | April 15, 2008 9:40 AM
"Don't give me that 'ziglier-than-thou' crap!"
Posted by: shadysidelantern | April 15, 2008 9:42 AM
"Everyone wants to come in here, just to see a cartoon drawn from a viewpoint above the scene."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | April 15, 2008 9:44 AM
"I told him the back axle was too heavy for the floor."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | April 15, 2008 9:46 AM
That reminds me, we should get some of those wooden bead seatcovers for these armchairs.
Posted by: therblig | April 15, 2008 11:20 AM
"What do you mean, you don't remember 'Vegas'? It was great -- Dan Tanna used to park his T-Bird right inside his house!"
"I knew we shouldn't have had M. C. Escher and Frank Gehry collaborate on designing the club -- you should see what happens when you try to walk into the garage..."
"Goddamn it, Christine!"
Posted by: Leppo Softboy | April 15, 2008 11:44 AM
Anyone smell gas?
Dammit.
Frank, you are so fucking lazy.
Posted by: Mike S | April 15, 2008 11:58 AM
"Yo, yo! Some dumb-ass mo-fo got his grill all up in here."
Posted by: LR | April 15, 2008 12:07 PM
"Used to be tough to even find a whore in Albany- now they can't get to the governor's mansion fast enough."
Posted by: LR | April 15, 2008 12:24 PM
Viral advertising campaign for TAXI TO THE DARK SIDE.
Posted by: jim M | April 15, 2008 1:35 PM
"Client 11, your ho is here."
Posted by: jim M | April 15, 2008 1:37 PM
"Bill, we all know you farted so it's no use driving that old taxi up here to try and cover up the smell."
Posted by: JDT | April 15, 2008 1:48 PM
"Old LaVerne screwed up again!I ordered the Concha y Toro Cabernet '04, and got the Checkers Cab '55!"
Posted by: Dr. Sumguy | April 15, 2008 2:02 PM
I didn't call a cab. Did you Frank?
Posted by: boneguy | April 15, 2008 2:59 PM
"You had me at 'TAXI'!"
"That would explain the oil stains on the stairwell carpet. Now, what causes the 'snail trails' on Petersen's bedsheets?....oh!"
"Well, it looks like you lost the bet to Franklin. He managed it somehow!"
Posted by: Johnny V | April 15, 2008 3:13 PM
It's rude to stair.
Posted by: Mo Buck | April 15, 2008 3:38 PM
"I move that we get rid of that EZ-PASS downstairs. Anyone second?"
Posted by: Tim H | April 15, 2008 4:21 PM
[Taxi, to itself:] "I think I can, I think I can, I thi - oh shit, they saw me!!! Now what???"
Posted by: Vance | April 15, 2008 4:52 PM
"Gentlemen, I see by that plate that it must be Agent James Bond's brother, Rex. I understand he has a 'Licence to Drive.' "
Posted by: Kathy H | April 15, 2008 4:53 PM
It's been like this ever since the doormans' strike.
Posted by: boneguy | April 15, 2008 5:02 PM
"I can't hack this!"
Posted by: Kathy H | April 15, 2008 5:05 PM
Winston you cheap fuck-stick! Will you please quit jipp'n those cabbies on their fares; your rank butt-gas is all the intrusion we need for one day.
Posted by: Weller | April 15, 2008 5:54 PM
THIRTY SECONDS BEFORE:
"The people? You say the people our clamoring for bread? Why let them eat cake. Jives, my old man, call me a taxi and do tell the driver that if he doesn't get here within 30 seconds I shall not tip."
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | April 15, 2008 6:07 PM
oops "are" clamoring
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | April 15, 2008 6:09 PM
Wentworth, I need a seven letter word for nonchalant.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | April 15, 2008 6:21 PM
You look almost EXACTLY like Jason Robards in the movie, "Philadelphia."
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | April 15, 2008 7:08 PM
"Steady boys, we're safe within our cocoon of privilege and wealth."
"The staircase *is* dramatic, but you do open yourself up to this sort of thing."
"Technically not slavery, no. The club paid $1 million for the car; the immigrant driver was 'free'."
Posted by: R.K. | April 15, 2008 7:32 PM
“Even now, they still leave their fucking toys on the stairway.”
Posted by: dwilk | April 15, 2008 7:47 PM
"Oh shit it's April 16 already"
"The tax cuts have arrived"
"The tax man cometh"
Posted by: Tim | April 15, 2008 7:53 PM
"Yes, guests always say that but wait until you become a member and see the double decker bus up on four."
"I don't know why it is so difficult to get a coaster around here."
"It's not so much the ghost cab itself as the boomin' bass of the ominous music that gets on my tits."
Posted by: j fyrste | April 15, 2008 7:54 PM
"The traffic in this city is obscene."
"That's what passes for art these days."
"No, No, NO!! CUT!!! The cue for your entrance is, 'The traffic in this city is obscene.' Then you come up the stairs, and Frank says, 'Did someone call a cab?' Got it? Now go back down, we'll run the scene one more time and then call it a night, okay?"
Posted by: znufrii | April 15, 2008 7:59 PM
"Amazing what some people will do to avoid toll roads."
Posted by: Brian L | April 15, 2008 9:12 PM
"RUUUUUNN!!!!"
"Tax Day Fools!"
Posted by: Harry | April 15, 2008 9:35 PM
"I thought this taxi would have a #142 on its license plate, not a #143. Weird."
Posted by: Harry | April 15, 2008 9:37 PM
"Actually, it can't drive you home. She's strictly a house taxi."
Posted by: David John | April 15, 2008 10:05 PM
Oh, that's Sylvester McCripple. We've yet to put in an elevator, but he's been a good sport about it.
Posted by: Brian L | April 15, 2008 10:24 PM
It's shorter to cut across the fourth floor lounge.
Anon
Posted by: Anon | April 15, 2008 10:31 PM
"Honestly, I had no idea they were bitter."
Posted by: Kevin Guilfoile | April 15, 2008 10:51 PM
So, let me get this straight: you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway and haul up a stairway and stare at a hallway. Makes sense.
Posted by: Dex | April 15, 2008 11:00 PM
"Here's to life, livery and the pursuit of taxicabs."
Posted by: boneguy | April 15, 2008 11:15 PM
"I just love these new cordless lamps!"
Posted by: Keith | April 15, 2008 11:41 PM
Greedy, blood-sucking capitalist:
"Charles, call me a cab."
Charles:
"Certainly sir, you're a cab."
Posted by: J. Brown | April 15, 2008 11:45 PM
"You call that art? My kid could do that!"
Posted by: Glime | April 15, 2008 11:45 PM
"I told you that building our club on the off ramp of the Long Island Expressway was a bad idea, Charles."
Posted by: Todd Anthony | April 15, 2008 11:49 PM
"Mr. Bush, your designated driver is here!"
Posted by: Julia | April 15, 2008 11:53 PM
"I could see that being an issue if the building needed to be evacuated."
Posted by: Brian L | April 16, 2008 1:51 AM
Her star may be waning, but J-Lo still won't carry her own fat ass up the stairs.
Posted by: Dave | April 16, 2008 8:40 AM
The social climbers have certainly gotten lazy, haven't they?
Posted by: therblig | April 16, 2008 9:06 AM
"He's a new member? But I thought Bickel was a Jewish name."
Posted by: stcoleridge | April 16, 2008 10:09 AM
oh never mind: April 14, 2008 10:07 AM
Posted by: stcoleridge | April 16, 2008 10:12 AM
"Little does he realize, getting up is the EASY part."
Posted by: Mr. Know It All | April 16, 2008 11:51 AM
"Two career guy - taxi driver and camel jockey."
Posted by: jim M | April 16, 2008 11:53 AM
"It told him you have to run it someplace small and airtight, like the garage. At this rate, he'll be out of gas long before carbon monoxide sets in. This is worse than the time he slit the TOP of his wrists. I was way smarter than him by the time I was eleven."
Posted by: Mr. Know It All | April 16, 2008 11:56 AM
"Gentleman, if you think this is amusing, wait til you see the fifty paparazzi right behind her."
Posted by: Mr. Know It All | April 16, 2008 11:58 AM
"Goddammit, another one off duty. Who do ya have to blow to get a cab around here?"
Posted by: earlg | April 16, 2008 1:31 PM
"So then I told my secretary to shred the documents and take the rest of the day off."
Posted by: Dave W | April 16, 2008 2:51 PM
"Someone needs to do a portrait of that cabbie."
Posted by: Mike S. | April 16, 2008 3:03 PM
"It's a sad day when you have to take public transportation to the office..."
"Gentleman, we're going to have to have to break this up. I need to get out of here- when he honks we'll be up to our eyeballs in Celine Dion."
Posted by: Mike S. | April 16, 2008 3:14 PM
(cleaned version):
"Gentleman, we're going to have to break this up. I need to get out of here before he honks, and we're be up to our eyeballs in Celine Dion."
Posted by: Mike S. | April 16, 2008 3:37 PM
"Tip a cabbie a fin and he's happy for a day. Give him 3 fins and he's yours for a lifetime."
Posted by: dwilk | April 16, 2008 7:34 PM
Caaar...
Posted by: seth | April 16, 2008 10:00 PM
That looks like the same cab that splashed me this morning while I was taking the dog for her walk. I was drenched but Rover was drowned...And if this weren't a posh gentleman's club I'd be in a mind to go up to that driver and give him a piece of my mind. But since the lobotomy, I haven't had that much mind to spare, ha ha.
Posted by: J. Brown | April 16, 2008 10:14 PM
Ever since the Parking Authority took control of the cabs in this city, the drivers are afraid to park their cabs out-of-doors.
Posted by: J. Brown | April 16, 2008 10:20 PM
STAR TREK! (a typical time travel episode where Dr. McCoy and Captain Kirk travel to Earth's past in order to save the future)
Dr McCoy:
Dammit Jim, What the fuck is that cab doing there. I didn't expect a cab to be wedged in the stairway. The history books mention no cab.
Capt Kirk:
Something in the space-time continuum most of got fucked up. Better call Sears to fix the phase- array or maybe it's not the phase-array but better call Sears anyway. Sears is really great, even in Earth's future!
Posted by: J. Brown | April 16, 2008 10:32 PM
Damn that American Disabilities Act and their wheelchair ramps!
Posted by: Ned | April 17, 2008 1:01 AM
Gentlemen, I was really hoping for the Cash Cab.
Posted by: P.R. | April 17, 2008 1:07 AM
"It's better than those damn we usually get."
Posted by: Brian L | April 17, 2008 2:11 AM
"It's better than those damn Doom Buggies we usually get."
Posted by: Brian L | April 17, 2008 2:12 AM
"Oh, it's just my new butler, Latka ... still having some difficulties making the transition from his previous job."
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | April 17, 2008 4:33 AM
"Oh, here comes Princess Diana now!"
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | April 17, 2008 4:36 AM
"I agree, those Texas polygamist Moms are totally hot. What the...........?"
Posted by: djack | April 17, 2008 9:38 AM
"I don't trust my own chauffeur with our daily dose of third world blood."
"Wear you seatbelt! Driving over our investors might be bumpy!"
"Does my ass look fat in this chair? Damn. I hope Taxi Cab Confessions isn't shot in HD."
Posted by: kosmicki | April 17, 2008 9:50 AM
In a new piece of legislation from Albany, Governor Paterson has opened all jobs to the blind- even cab driving. Ironically, Paterson still has trouble getting a cab; one wary (and broke) blind driver describes the challenge of sizing up potential fares, saying "I jus' figure they're all black."
Posted by: LV | April 17, 2008 10:23 AM
oh ,so this what they meant when they said room service
Posted by: vishruti | April 17, 2008 1:02 PM
Is it April 15th already?
Posted by: mk | April 17, 2008 5:52 PM
"excellent Wilkins, the whores are right on time."
Posted by: reid savid | April 17, 2008 6:38 PM
"Jenkins, the cab in the stairway does not detract from the fact that that is one fucking ugly chandelier"
Posted by: LP | April 17, 2008 10:16 PM
In Soviet Union taxi hails you.
Posted by: al in la | April 18, 2008 3:26 AM
Man in the middle:
"There's a taxi coming up the stairs."
"Ha! Made you look."
Posted by: djack | April 18, 2008 8:52 AM
"That is one fucking talented cab driver. We should immortalize him in our ghostly hall of non-portraits."
Posted by: djack | April 18, 2008 8:55 AM
Put it in reverse and back away slowly - we've driven into a neighborhood where they don't like our kind at all.
Posted by: Charles | April 18, 2008 11:48 AM
'Taxi'? Not only should that cab not be in our building, it shouldn't be picking up street hails in New York City at all.
Posted by: Charles | April 18, 2008 11:51 AM
I get three entries and I will end each of them with at all.
Posted by: Charles | April 18, 2008 11:52 AM
Oh good, my date Christine's here.
Posted by: SE | April 18, 2008 2:05 PM
“All this talk of Viagra and penile implants reminds me of a charming story about my black teenage boyfriend."
Posted by: J.D. | April 18, 2008 2:46 PM
"Wait to you see his face when I tell him I'm going to Brooklyn."
Posted by: al in la (but born in East Flatbush) | April 18, 2008 3:46 PM
"They should have become suspicious when he didn't want to learn how to parallel park."
Posted by: kosmicki | April 18, 2008 5:27 PM
"The Suicide Club meeting will now come to order."
Posted by: DavidP | April 18, 2008 6:25 PM
"My prostate is much smaller than it was last month."
"Andy Warhol is such an asshole"
"Chesterfield says the color looks faded. What's your opinion?"
"Do you think my wife knows I'm gay?"
Posted by: DavidP | April 18, 2008 6:44 PM
You know what's a difficult word to spell? Wainscoting.
Posted by: JoelM | April 19, 2008 12:07 AM
"My surprise at the arrival of this taxi has caused me to evacuate my bowels with a great sense of entitlement."
Posted by: kosmicki | April 19, 2008 4:10 AM
And she handed me twenty dollars for a two fifty fare
She said, Harry, keep the change
Posted by: Anonymous | April 19, 2008 5:20 AM
"Did someone call for a comic anomaly?"
Posted by: Joshua | April 19, 2008 7:55 AM
Oh, I've got something inside me
Not what my life's about.
Been letting this freakin' taxi park
Here, 'til my time runs out.
Posted by: Anonymous | April 19, 2008 8:04 AM
Hold me closer Tony Banta.
See the headlights on the stairway.
Louie De Palma, Latka Gravas.
You had a busy day today.
Posted by: djack | April 19, 2008 9:48 AM
"I told you the housing market was due for a car-wreck-tion."
Posted by: Ali P. | April 19, 2008 11:01 AM
"The taxi falls up the stairs, the taxi falls down the stairs."
Posted by: Harry | April 19, 2008 11:55 AM
Moe, Larry and Curly enjoy a scotch neat at the League of Extraordinary Stooges. They planned ahead - Shemp didn't. Guess who's driving a cab now?
Call 1-800-NYAR-NAR for your free retirement planning kit today.
Posted by: Anonymous | April 19, 2008 8:12 PM
[3 stooges one is mine...I guess there were 5 stooges]
Posted by: Shawn | April 19, 2008 8:13 PM
THIS IS A SIGHT GAG, AND AS SUCH A CAPTION WOULD ONLY DETRACT. THANK YOU.
Posted by: RichM | April 19, 2008 10:40 PM
"Please say tax shelter, please say tax shelter, please say....damn...taxadermist?"
Posted by: reid savid | April 19, 2008 11:21 PM
I mean taxidermist
Posted by: reid savid | April 19, 2008 11:24 PM
also submitted without '?'
Posted by: reid savid | April 19, 2008 11:44 PM
"That taxi should hold off the zombies until you've finished your cocktail, Mr. President, but we're urging you to come up with a plan, instead of chugging cocktails and saying 'mission accomplished'."
Posted by: reid savid | April 19, 2008 11:55 PM
'The hours we've spent waiting here...and no limousine."
Posted by: al in la | April 19, 2008 11:55 PM
"That taxi should hold off the zombies until you've finished your cocktail Mr. President, but we're urging you to come up with a plan instead of chugging cocktails and saying 'mission accomplished'."
(The comma placement was driving me mad)
Posted by: reid savid | April 20, 2008 12:03 AM
"You did tell Wentworth our tee-time is 9:30. Has he never had sex in the back of a cab before?"
Posted by: Anonymous | April 20, 2008 7:12 AM
"To settle this thorny issue on business ethics I've called in someone with a Ph.D in philosophy...I hope his fare doesn't mind."
Posted by: al in la | April 20, 2008 4:58 PM
Oh dear God in heaven, I think that the entry by "al in la" immediately above is damn funny.
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | April 23, 2008 5:46 AM