The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #139
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Results from guest judge Harry Effron
Winner
"I'm going to lick my balls now." —J. D.
Finalists
"More like Doctors Without Flavors, I'd say." —Kevin Guilfoile
"Well, you can't have a divorce; we're lions." —Seth T.
Honorable mention
"Dunno what that dipshit thought he was doing, driving a convertible
through The Land of Incomparably Ginormous House-Sized Lions." —Vance
"And yet I feel ill." —TG Gibbon
"If he wasn't circumcised, is it still Kosher?" —Glime
"He said, 'You don't have to do this,' and I said, 'People always say
the same thing.'" —chigurrrrh
"Pretty good appetizer, but go press his OnStar and our main course
will be here in minutes." —LV
And for Harry's new idea, New Yorker Anti-caption Contest losers, which are
his favorite actual New Yorker Caption Contest Captions, mistakenly entered in the Anti-caption Contest.
"A doctor a day keeps the apple away." —mloclam
"He said he needed to have a look at my colon." —Anita Margarita.
Comments
"Is there a doctor in my stomach? Ahhhhh heheh. I kill people."
Posted by: TMo | March 24, 2008 11:36 AM
"I just swallowed a scalpel, and am dying from internal bleeding."
Posted by: mypalmike | March 24, 2008 11:36 AM
"I keep forgetting. So, how many Kenyan Schillings equals one Euro?"
Posted by: Tim H | March 24, 2008 11:37 AM
"I like them smashed taters, Bob and Marion style, mmm-hmmm."
Posted by: Chris | March 24, 2008 11:37 AM
"You were late so I started without you. But I saved you the parts I don't like."
Posted by: Francis | March 24, 2008 11:38 AM
"Y'know, you're right. I do need a haircut."
Posted by: Kathy H | March 24, 2008 11:40 AM
"I appreciate your "whole animal" cooking philosophy, Cora but, FYI, these are the parts that I shitted out."
Posted by: GilbertBob | March 24, 2008 11:40 AM
"Androcles was such an asshole."
Posted by: jim M | March 24, 2008 11:40 AM
"Ferrari safari. Safari Ferrari. He went on safari in a Ferrari. In his Ferrari, he went on safari, and now he is sorry. [Freestyle break.]"
Posted by: Francis | March 24, 2008 11:42 AM
Yes, it WAS Patch Adams and no, he didn't taste funny.
Posted by: therblig | March 24, 2008 11:42 AM
"I loved that movie The Pawnbroker."
Posted by: Tim H | March 24, 2008 11:43 AM
"CSI Serengeti, my ass!"
Posted by: shadysidelantern | March 24, 2008 11:45 AM
"So then, I sez, 'Dr. Livingstone, I presume.' - and then he sez..."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | March 24, 2008 11:48 AM
"...an HMO,- Why?"
Posted by: shadysidelantern | March 24, 2008 11:49 AM
"You're gonna have to round up a few more parts if you want this thing put back together."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | March 24, 2008 11:51 AM
"Ugh...that doctor was not only sans frontieres, he was also sans flavor."
Posted by: Chris | March 24, 2008 11:51 AM
"You have trouble reading, or something? The last name's Cullum."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | March 24, 2008 11:53 AM
Why would I share? I have no pride.
Posted by: therblig | March 24, 2008 11:54 AM
"Believe it or not, this is what's left of Paul McCartney's assets."
Posted by: Kathy H | March 24, 2008 11:54 AM
"Ugh. I was about to say, 'Doctor Livingstone, I consumed.' But that's something only a giant pussy would say. Get it? Giant pussy? I'm a lion? (sigh) Maybe the human I ate had AIDS. Eating humans with AIDS always puts me in a foul mood." THE END.
Posted by: J | March 24, 2008 11:58 AM
A doctor a day keeps the apple away.
Posted by: mloclam | March 24, 2008 12:01 PM
"More like Doctors Without Flavors, I'd say."
Posted by: Kevin Guilfoile | March 24, 2008 12:01 PM
"It's good. Tastes like Christian."
Posted by: Deborah | March 24, 2008 12:02 PM
Kevin: would you now?
Posted by: Chris | March 24, 2008 12:03 PM
"He was about to take out my thorn, but if I'd let him, the mouse union would've had my ass."
"Scully, I'd have to guess that it was right here that Dr. Dolittle 'went native.'"
"Um. . . what doctor?"
Posted by: gary | March 24, 2008 12:03 PM
"'Livingstone?' No, he said his name was Millmoss. Why?"
Posted by: Anonymous | March 24, 2008 12:05 PM
>
Funny!
Posted by: gary | March 24, 2008 12:05 PM
See for yourself: no veterinary license anywhere. "Free prostate exams" my ass! Literally!
Posted by: kejo | March 24, 2008 12:09 PM
"Seriously, who the fuck wears wing-tips to the Serengeti? It's like begging to be eaten."
Posted by: David | March 24, 2008 12:12 PM
"He was crying and screaming the whole time...AND he was delicious."
Posted by: JohnnyB | March 24, 2008 12:13 PM
"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."
"Now get me some desert."
"It had a medicinal aftertaste."
Posted by: JohnnyB | March 24, 2008 12:17 PM
"The human male is typically the hunter, whereas you, a lioness, killed this one and brought it me, a male lion, depicted as reclining to suggest an entitled sort of sloth. I believe we are being used to make a comment about gender roles for the amusement of elite, East coast liberals who read this magazine."
Posted by: JohnnyB | March 24, 2008 12:29 PM
"You don't have a spoonful of sugar by any chance, do you?"
"I have a calm physician in me."
Posted by: TGGibbon | March 24, 2008 12:30 PM
FOOD: 17
DECOR: 28
SERVICE: 2
COST: N/A
Posted by: Kathy H | March 24, 2008 12:32 PM
"When I shit out his car keys you want to take a spin?"
Posted by: al in la | March 24, 2008 12:33 PM
"The shoe, the stethoscope and the spine."
"Correct, you are the next Dalai Lama."
Posted by: Derek | March 24, 2008 12:34 PM
Sorry Doris, I felt we had to get started without a second opinion.
Posted by: JayS | March 24, 2008 12:43 PM
"Yeah, so that happened. Hey, you ever seen baboons do it? It's hilarious."
"And yet I feel ill."
Posted by: TGGibbon | March 24, 2008 12:43 PM
"Yeah, this is what I do to people who send in more than five entries to Radosh's New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest. Capiche?"
Posted by: Tim H | March 24, 2008 12:43 PM
Fum kind of fopical anaefthesia in the focket.
Posted by: JayS | March 24, 2008 12:46 PM
No, but if you're hungry, there's a guy in a deep sea diver suit headed east.
Posted by: therblig | March 24, 2008 12:48 PM
"Help me out here, will ya? Is that a teeny car about two feet away or a regular-sized car way the hell back there?"
Posted by: Kathy H | March 24, 2008 12:48 PM
"It's a form of natural selection, if you think about it. This explains why so many people fuck sheep and so few fuck lions. Anymore."
Posted by: Joshua | March 24, 2008 1:11 PM
Horatio, I didn't realize evidence took sides...
Well, it does...and it tastes like shit...
Posted by: simsburybear | March 24, 2008 1:37 PM
"Hmm. Tastes like chicken."
Posted by: Joshua | March 24, 2008 1:41 PM
"Don't worry. I saved Nurse for you."
Posted by: Dave | March 24, 2008 1:41 PM
"He is now a post-doc."
Posted by: Dave | March 24, 2008 1:42 PM
"I think someone doctored my food."
Posted by: Dave | March 24, 2008 1:44 PM
"Don't look at me like that. He was an Obama supporter."
Posted by: RichM | March 24, 2008 1:48 PM
"Sorry, I couldn't wait; but his kid is still back there in the car."
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 24, 2008 2:01 PM
I can't BELIEVE we have to hold these poses when there's dead doctor carcass around here somewhere.
Posted by: SE | March 24, 2008 2:04 PM
"No, I didn't say I was a vegetarian... I said I eat veterinarians!"
Posted by: Johnny V | March 24, 2008 2:07 PM
"Because I'm sick of these Hollywood types. What kind of name is Shiloh anyway?"
Posted by: SE | March 24, 2008 2:07 PM
"I didn't know palm trees were indigenous to the area. They really spruce up the joint."
Posted by: SE | March 24, 2008 2:08 PM
"Well, he said there was a bit left in there from when the mouse operated, and that it would likely be called a pre-existing condition, and that my insurance woudn't cover it, and I would have to pay in advance. So I ate him. So now I have indigestion, and my paw still hurts."
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 24, 2008 2:10 PM
Cough! Cough! KAFF! Hack! Hack! Hack! RETTTTCHHHH!!!
Posted by: kejo | March 24, 2008 2:17 PM
I tried to show some restraint, but when he started in with the "a-wimoweh, a-wimoweh," I couldn't hold back anymore.
Posted by: kejo | March 24, 2008 2:21 PM
[burrrrrrrrrp] "There, did that sound like the alphabet?"
"What? I'm old enough to eat a driver."
"He gave me a clean bill of health."
"Zoinks! OK, now you say, 'Ruh row, Raggy'"
Posted by: MAtt | March 24, 2008 2:30 PM
Look, the vultures are already circling and the hyenas will probably be here any minute. If we hurry and wipe down our prints, we may just get away with it.
Posted by: NuTs | March 24, 2008 2:30 PM
Nice work Nigel...first a lawyer and now a doctor! That leaves you just a politician short of a hat trick.
Posted by: NuTs | March 24, 2008 2:42 PM
"I just couldn't turn my head... and cough... not when I am hungry."
"What?!.... Seriously, WHAT!"
"Dude... you look so stoned! Do I look stoned?, because I feel stoned. In fact, I...uh... whoa! I forgot what I was about to say!"
"Okay, we'll call it even when you pay me a skull."
Posted by: Johnny V | March 24, 2008 3:08 PM
"Ate him?? I was trying to save him! But by the time I managed to chase off the gazelles, this was all that was left."
Posted by: Abe | March 24, 2008 3:09 PM
Yeah, survival of the fittest, definitely. Each of his friends had equally sized feet and could run much faster.
Posted by: Adam B | March 24, 2008 3:13 PM
"Got milk?"
Posted by: al in la | March 24, 2008 3:48 PM
The stethoscope was nothing -- watch this! (retches up buttplug)
Posted by: kejo | March 24, 2008 4:03 PM
Elsa, why didn't you tell me these were the same Adamsons that raised you from a cub? I'd have eaten them slower.
Posted by: GilbertBob | March 24, 2008 4:06 PM
"The asshole called me cowardly."
Posted by: Tim H | March 24, 2008 4:16 PM
"I'm gonna auction this stuff on eBay and make a killing."
Posted by: jim M | March 24, 2008 4:34 PM
He was a big pill for what ails me
Posted by: jbo | March 24, 2008 4:44 PM
"What're you lookin' at, two-legger?"
[Apologies to Johnny V:]
"Yes, I said I wanted to eat vegetarian tonight - and I meant exact that. This was Dr. Michael Greger."
Posted by: Vance | March 24, 2008 4:52 PM
Sorry, you'll need a referral before you can see the doctor come out of my ass.
Posted by: Froggy | March 24, 2008 5:03 PM
Surely any comedic sentiment that might arise from this situation would be tainted with the questionable ethics of portraying lions devouring humans as "humorous". One wonders if these monsters, our quill-equipped creators, drew wry illustrations for Nero as he laughed uproariously at the beasts in the arena tearing innocent Christians apart.
I don't know whether or not its called doggy style, but isn't it difficult for you to hold an erection with all these human remains scattered about?
Posted by: NecroDew | March 24, 2008 5:07 PM
" He was a neurologist named Von Recklinghausen.His tuning fork is still stuck in my ass.Would you like to hear my rendition of HELLO,DOLLY?"
Posted by: Dr Sumguy | March 24, 2008 5:08 PM
"I ate a doctor and now I have a tree growing out of my butt."
Posted by: jim M | March 24, 2008 5:10 PM
"So, tell me again how wearing this doctor costume is supposed to improve our sex life..."
Posted by: znufrii | March 24, 2008 5:37 PM
Tasted like chicken!
Posted by: R.E.D. | March 24, 2008 5:57 PM
Wake me up when Werner Herzog calls.
Posted by: LK | March 24, 2008 6:00 PM
I STILL can't find his damn car keys!
Posted by: R.E.D. | March 24, 2008 6:02 PM
"Dunno what that dipshit thought he was doing, driving a convertible through The Land of Incomparably Ginormous House-Sized Lions."
Posted by: Vance | March 24, 2008 6:03 PM
In Soviet-aligned Transvaal, pussy eats you!
Posted by: Delmon Dimitrovich Young | March 24, 2008 6:24 PM
On a scale of one to ten, how cruelly ironic would it be right now if there were a soundtrack to this event and it started playing "The Circle of Life"?
No more planting mature palm trees in the middle of the savannah for THIS quack. I mean, what the fuck? Palm trees.
Posted by: NecroDew | March 24, 2008 6:33 PM
"You know, I saw myself in his head reflector, and this goatee kinda makes me look like a douche"
"I find it really depressing to think of all the lives he would have saved"
Posted by: DickTrimble | March 24, 2008 6:42 PM
He said he needed to have a look at my colon.
Posted by: Anita Margarita | March 24, 2008 6:47 PM
"Well, you told me to eat a healthier diet."
Posted by: al in la | March 24, 2008 7:24 PM
HMO?... I thought someone said, "Hold the Mayo!". And actually Mayo is a name of a very large clinic...Okay, sorry I ate your doctor.
Posted by: Johnny V | March 24, 2008 7:29 PM
“If there is no God then what the fuck did I just eat?”
Posted by: dwilk | March 24, 2008 7:53 PM
"This is the most satisfying ending ever to an episode of 'House'... and yes, he tasted like asshole."
Posted by: Gray Nixon | March 24, 2008 8:37 PM
"What is it? Do I have something in my teeth?"
Posted by: Dan | March 24, 2008 8:44 PM
Ich habe einen Doktor gegessen. Ich fühle beschämt.
Posted by: Urgh | March 24, 2008 9:04 PM
I ate a doctor. Now, ask me 'which doctor?' C'mon, ask me! I've been waiting for years for a chance to devour a Western allopath just so I can make that joke. C'mon, just ask me. Please? Oh, let me guess: Ms. "alpha female tertiary predator" is too high and mighty to deliver a straight line now and then. Well, screw you.
Posted by: Walt | March 24, 2008 9:12 PM
"Roar?"
Posted by: Harry | March 24, 2008 10:31 PM
You know, this doctor was a sensible, pretty good tasting meal but I really prefer the crunchy texture of chiropractors.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | March 25, 2008 1:23 AM
Mmmm...it taste about halfway between chicken and osteopath.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | March 25, 2008 1:35 AM
"No, he just spontaneously combusted. Er, sorry, I've been reading MAD magazine again -- no, there's no more flesh left."
Posted by: Dave | March 25, 2008 1:53 AM
"Just my luck, no syringe. I need to get high, you got any used needles?"
Posted by: Brian L | March 25, 2008 2:22 AM
"I presumed Dr. Livingston would taste a little better."
Posted by: taoless | March 25, 2008 4:30 AM
"Who drives a convertible into a wildife preserve, anyhow?
Posted by: stcoleridge | March 25, 2008 9:55 AM
Why the suspicious looks? I am sure your vet will be along any minute.
Posted by: boneguy | March 25, 2008 10:30 AM
It was a case of road rage gone bad. I told him that there was no parking under the palm trees. He said I might be the king of the jungle but in his book I was nothing but a big pussy... so I ate him.
Posted by: Fred M | March 25, 2008 11:46 AM
"That reflex thing always gives me the munchies..."
Posted by: Mike | March 25, 2008 12:23 PM
"Look. He used that pun about 'it gives one paws' one too many times. So, I ate him."
Posted by: Kathy H | March 25, 2008 12:51 PM
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Control Freak. Now, you say 'Control Freak who?...' "
Posted by: Tim H | March 25, 2008 12:59 PM
I don't know why everyone complains about hospital food.
Posted by: therblig | March 25, 2008 2:00 PM
"Asshole said I looked like Richard Lewis."
Posted by: djack | March 25, 2008 2:10 PM
"I love a vet who makes house calls."
"Pretty good appetizer, but go press his OnStar and our main course will be here in minutes."
"You never clean up this place anymore- now go get me another snack."
"I'll take this in a hyena bag."
Posted by: LV | March 25, 2008 3:33 PM
"He couldn't tell me why all this greenery was growing out of my ass."
Posted by: Brian L | March 25, 2008 4:49 PM
Your gynecologist...?! Jeez, I'm gonna puke...
Posted by: simsburybear | March 25, 2008 6:18 PM
Well, you can't have a divorce; we're lions.
Posted by: Seth T. | March 25, 2008 6:40 PM
"I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork."
Posted by: al in la | March 25, 2008 7:00 PM
“Love those meals on wheels.”
Posted by: dwilk | March 25, 2008 7:05 PM
"Dude? What? Huh... Wait, that why I told you I always opposed medicinal marijuana. Wait, what?"
Posted by: 72 km/h | March 25, 2008 9:57 PM
Happy Meals toys blow, of late.
Posted by: Jack | March 25, 2008 11:45 PM
"Tried to charge me $150 just to renew my Ambien prescription. Crook."
Posted by: J.D. | March 25, 2008 11:58 PM
"I've always loved Jew food."
Posted by: J.D. | March 26, 2008 12:01 AM
"I'm going to lick my balls now."
Posted by: J.D. | March 26, 2008 12:02 AM
"Hey, you know what 'Audi' stands for? Another Unsuspecting Doctor Ingested."
Posted by: mypalmike | March 26, 2008 12:42 AM
"That settles it. The Jaguar is faster than the lion, but the lion doesn't run out of gas after 100 miles."
Posted by: Joshua | March 26, 2008 3:32 AM
“He fell for that crap about the lion sleeps tonight.”
Posted by: dwilk | March 26, 2008 7:07 AM
"Bruce, you look fabulous in drag."
Posted by: LV | March 26, 2008 7:19 AM
I'm Guy Fieri and today we're chowing down on Doctor tartar on "Guy's Big Bite."
Posted by: JohnnyB | March 26, 2008 7:55 AM
"It was a little human kid playing doctor, hence the toy car. You'll recall I killed all your young when I took over this pride, so why the accusatory look?"
Posted by: Abe | March 26, 2008 8:56 AM
"I'd like to take the rest to go, please.....and you could get over here a little quicker with the coffee refills....and I do have a free dessert coupon.....and I'd like to get my parking ticket validated......"
Posted by: Greg | March 26, 2008 9:05 AM
"I just kept the green disk on my table, and they kept bringing me doctors."
Posted by: Greg | March 26, 2008 9:07 AM
"I'm not a beast, I'm just drawn that way--remarkably enough by a guy named 'Leo.'"
Posted by: al in la | March 26, 2008 12:13 PM
". . . and then I removed his appendix, and then I removed his gall bladder, and then I removed . . ."
Posted by: jim M | March 26, 2008 12:57 PM
Doctor who?
Posted by: znufrii | March 26, 2008 1:06 PM
"Shoes? Spine? Head-mirror thing?"
"The strangest thing about my last victim was that Matchbox car. I wouldn't put that thing too close to your snout--it came out of his ass."
"It was over pretty quick. He went straight from talking about something called a 'pushme-pullyou' and a giant pink snail to begging for his life."
"Last thing he said was, 'Oh my God! You can talk!' I get so sick of that."
"I wonder if that 'In Love With Obama' girl is dead yet? Doesn't that seem to be, like, from a decade ago?"
Posted by: Trout Almondine | March 26, 2008 2:30 PM
"Can you drive a stick"?
Posted by: cookies boy | March 26, 2008 4:07 PM
"Dammit Jim! I'm a medical doctor not a veterinarian. Jim, why are running away?"
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | March 26, 2008 5:31 PM
[OOPS]
"Dammit Jim! I'm a medical doctor not a veterinarian. Jim, why are you running away?"
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | March 26, 2008 5:32 PM
"Don't give me those eyes... Come on! Whaaat!? Stop, with the judgmental looks. Why you gotta be like that?"
Posted by: Brian L | March 26, 2008 5:41 PM
He answered the riddle okay but I'm not a sphinx, just a sphincter.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | March 26, 2008 5:43 PM
"We're going to need to elect a new Primary Care Physician."
Posted by: GilbertBob | March 26, 2008 5:54 PM
"What? How do expect me to recommend a doctor without trying him first?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | March 26, 2008 5:56 PM
He wasn't a real doctor, he was an actor filming a docudrama. Stop glaring at me.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | March 26, 2008 6:06 PM
Let's play my favorite game: Roman soldiers shooting dice to see who gets Jesus' loincloth. Or in this case, pelvis.
Posted by: boneguy | March 26, 2008 6:38 PM
"Good protein, but a little gamy."
"A little gamy. Probably a Jew."
"'Without borders' my ass!"
Posted by: Mike in LA | March 26, 2008 8:21 PM
“Tastes like God.”
Posted by: dwilk | March 26, 2008 8:36 PM
"I ate his penis, chewed his scrotum, munched his ass. With enthusiasm. Does that make me gay? Burp."
Posted by: J.D. | March 26, 2008 9:09 PM
"Doctors I Like to Eat, Mothers I Like to Fuck."
Posted by: GilbertBob | March 26, 2008 10:11 PM
You want to play doctor? Lie down and I'll eat you out until you scream for mercy. GRRRRR.
Posted by: Shawn | March 27, 2008 1:15 AM
"U.S. imperialism sickens me."
Posted by: J.D. | March 27, 2008 2:09 AM
"Joke about how proctologists taste, but you really miss them when their remains give you an itchy asshole."
Posted by: kosmicki | March 27, 2008 3:41 AM
"We are sooooooo gonna get blamed for this!"
Posted by: David | March 27, 2008 8:17 AM
"Yeah, it was Livingstone. He tasted like haggis."
Posted by: earlg | March 27, 2008 12:15 PM
"Look...if God didn't want us to eat people...he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Posted by: Dan | March 27, 2008 2:45 PM
"[Growling noise]"
Posted by: John Tabin | March 27, 2008 6:09 PM
It is a common misunderstanding that "carnivore" is French for "eats cars." Obviously, it means "eats meat." See? The car is still here. Meat Man, however, est fini. (belch)
Posted by: SK | March 27, 2008 7:34 PM
Gee, I'm sorry. Was he a friend of yours? l don't know what got into me. Let me buy you a drink and we'll forget all about this little fuck-up.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27, 2008 7:55 PM
"I just ate a gastroenterologist and now I need one."
Posted by: dwilk | March 27, 2008 8:00 PM
"I've lost all sense of prospective. Have you lost all sense of prospective?"
Posted by: Richard | March 27, 2008 9:55 PM
or would "all sense of promportion" have been better?
Posted by: Richard | March 27, 2008 11:26 PM
"Hey look! One of those lines is sleeping standing up, and other one is orgasming over eating a doctor!" (Guy in car)
Posted by: Steve | March 28, 2008 2:32 AM
"Hey look! One of those lions is sleeping standing up, and other one is orgasming over eating a doctor!" (Guy in car)
Posted by: Steve | March 28, 2008 2:33 AM
"I'll be glad to check that for you. Put your paws in the stirrups while I warm up my speculum."
"I got here as fast as I could. Where's the patient?"
Posted by: Joshua | March 28, 2008 3:10 AM
Ummmm... Medicine Man... him chewy-good... me no like like crunchy parts. You like crunchy parts? Me sell you crunchy parts for piece of hot pussy-ass.
Posted by: SK | March 28, 2008 10:11 AM
Mais Oui, ma cherie! I am zee Franche Leeon! I eet zee Nahtzee docteur! Almost all of heem! Zee Franche leon, he faces zee Nahtzee and he eetzim! Zee Franche Leeon iz brafe and feerless, unlike zee Franche Fourun Legeeun! Do not be afrade, ma cherie, zee veldt of Afreeka with zee newlee planted Pahm Treez is safe frume zee Nahtzee Meniss! (Directors voice off-camera: "Cut! OK, Maurice, you can take a break now, just lay off the booze, your accent is getting a little thick.")
Posted by: SK | March 28, 2008 10:20 AM
"He said, 'You don't have to do this', and I said, 'People always say the same thing.'"
Posted by: chigurrrrh | March 28, 2008 1:35 PM
"His last words were that he was Dr. Kevorki-something and that he had chosen to rent the convertible. What do you suppose he meant by that?"
Posted by: David F | March 28, 2008 2:50 PM
The good news is, your results came back negative ...
On the veldt, nobody knows your tax bracket.
What damn doctor? It's cause I'm a lion, right? That shit's messed up, yo.
Food pyramid, meet food chain.
The Peace Corps? Fuckinay.
Posted by: Anita Margarita | March 28, 2008 4:29 PM
"Looks like another land mine tragedy"
Posted by: David John | March 28, 2008 4:51 PM
"Got a seltzer?"
Posted by: Greg | March 28, 2008 6:29 PM
I've never appreciated chiropractors masquerading as doctors.
Posted by: Iguazu | March 28, 2008 9:52 PM
"What do you care what his name was? Dr. Scrumptious. That was his fuckin' name."
Posted by: David John | March 28, 2008 11:43 PM
"I don't care if you're the C.E.O. of WLWN, help me put this thing back together. Nice car, by the way."
Posted by: djack | March 29, 2008 10:56 AM
"Veni vidi heads-or-tails-friend-o-leevio!"
Posted by: Chris | March 29, 2008 1:05 PM
"Anyone ask, I took my med."
Posted by: Sam L. | March 29, 2008 2:18 PM
"Strange, I'm receiving a 'rush'."
Posted by: Sam L. | March 29, 2008 2:21 PM
"What do you mean you brought along a couple of midgets?!?... I'm FULL!"
Posted by: Johnny V | March 29, 2008 2:26 PM
"So next, when I came to, he went to repeating, 'We'll split the settlement from Ace Sedatives'. Go figure !"
Posted by: Sam L. | March 29, 2008 2:34 PM
"Walked right up.....all the confidence in the world.....said he was Furball, Dr. Furball........like it gave him some claim."
Posted by: Sam L. | March 29, 2008 2:42 PM
"Had me due for a 'cats' scam'. I wasn't going to take that."
Posted by: Sam L. | March 29, 2008 2:47 PM
"You were right, there isn't any place good to eat on the Upper East Side. Next time let's try Spanish Harlem."
Posted by: RichM | March 29, 2008 4:55 PM
"I spilled all of the parts for our board games again. Now I've got Monopoly and Operation all mixed up."
Posted by: Glime | March 29, 2008 5:30 PM
"If he wasn't circumcised, is it still Kosher?"
Posted by: Glime | March 29, 2008 5:32 PM
"Oh - those things untie? Now you tell me. I had a heck of a time getting this guy's foot out of there."
Posted by: Glime | March 29, 2008 5:34 PM
"This was the one in five that thought it was safe to smoke cigarettes."
Posted by: Glime | March 29, 2008 6:15 PM
"It really takes a twisted individual to find the death and ingestion of a fellow sentient being humorous."
Posted by: Keithy G | March 29, 2008 10:22 PM
"Well...It seemed to me the best place for a gynecologist is inside a pussy."
Posted by: al in la | March 30, 2008 7:33 AM
[al in la: i thought we had squeezed every last bit of humor out of this cartoon, but you've bested all of us!]
Posted by: Anonymous | March 30, 2008 2:34 PM
"Schweitzer? I hardly knew her!"
Posted by: TGGibbon | March 30, 2008 5:09 PM
I don't see your human around here. Do you see a human around here? Now get lost, pork face.
Posted by: NJtoTX | March 30, 2008 7:16 PM
Use a fork, get a napkin, clean up this mess, bitch, bitch, bitch.
Posted by: Glenn | March 30, 2008 7:30 PM
"I'm playing 'Operation! The goofy game for dopey doctors'!"
(PS: Oh, darn you, Glime! Well, I'm submitting this one anyway.)
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | March 30, 2008 8:34 PM
"I swallowed his cell phone, so for now the 'lion' is busy."
Posted by: KJG | March 30, 2008 8:34 PM
"Did you ever notice how clouds can look like things? That one over there looks like the state of Virginia, another one looks like Kentucky."
Posted by: Toddy | March 30, 2008 8:52 PM
We're going to get blamed for this shit, I guarantee it.
Posted by: Seabendy | March 30, 2008 9:28 PM
"Damned 'glitterato' ! If he had only done like the Watusi."
Posted by: Sam L. | March 31, 2008 12:36 PM
"Bwana.....couldn't jump."
Posted by: Sam L. | March 31, 2008 12:39 PM
"Pygmies ! Put out an A.P.B. ! One them idiots dropped his hatchet !"
Posted by: Sam L. | March 31, 2008 12:51 PM
"Come shortcutting through here without his Nike's : what was he thinking ?!"
Posted by: Sam L. | March 31, 2008 1:04 PM
"O.K., sure, Dr. Jomi Burkoo ran that 27 min: 18 sec. 10K at Athens, but one must consider that Burkoo announced his retirement--what, 3 months ago ?"
Posted by: Sam L. | March 31, 2008 1:25 PM