The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #133
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Winner
[a Neanderthal animal rights meeting]
"It's so wonderful that you saved that giant beast from the hunters. Soon we'll convert everyone to a healthy vegetarian life style and finally displace that other emerging human species." —MAtt
FInalists
"Hey, Og, Gor said you had coke?" —TG Gibbon
"Do you have any art that's not about you?" — J
Honorable mention
(Gestures and makes unintelligible noises because speech hasn't developed yet.) —Jacob
"Well, the good news is that you've survived impalement by a spear. The bad news is that, because you're not bleeding, our clan has decided you must be a demon. We'll be burning you at the stake momentarily."—Tom
"We just wanted to thank you for being a part of the effort to kill the Giant Headless Emo Haircut that had been menacing the tribe."—The Confidence Man
"Despite the obvious shock value of impalement, your artwork lacks originality. Cavemen hunting a mastodon? You might as well throw in a smoldering volcano and hit every cliché in the book."—mypalmike
"It's funny cause it's true!" —maristeph
"Things are showing up on YouCave almost as soon as they happen!" —shadysidelantern
"Hey how many Neanderthals does it take to change a light bulb? Don't know, huh? Well I don't know either because the light bulb hasn't been invented yet , ha. ...BUT IF light bulbs did exist here, I'd say t it would take at least twice as many Neanderthals to Cro Magnums because they have really fat fingers. Personally, I find neanderthal fingers disgusting, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that I think of myself as somewhat evolved. Thank you very much" —GG
Comments
“Wow, that’s you in the pictogram! I have so many questions! Were the other people chasing you, or that weird looking animal? What kind of animal was it, anyway? Why does the animal look like it has two tails? Are those hairs sticking up from its back, or are they spears? It looks like you were running away, screaming like a girl. Is that what you did? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but that’s not very hero-like, is it? And why is the spear still stuck in your shoulder? Wanna shag?”
Posted by: Deborah | February 4, 2008 09:53 AM
"How long have you known the Cheneys?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | February 4, 2008 09:54 AM
Is it dead? Can we poke it? Is that part of the whole "thing"? Or will we get in trouble?
Posted by: simsburybear | February 4, 2008 10:01 AM
"Well, it's not quite an Arrow shirt, but it's nice."
Posted by: Kathy H | February 4, 2008 10:04 AM
"Remember? Last summer? Point Pleasant??"
Posted by: Tim H | February 4, 2008 10:13 AM
"We've just come from the Flintstone exhibit on pointillism, but, frankly, you have got him beat."
Posted by: Tim H | February 4, 2008 10:17 AM
That must be very painful!
Posted by: Tom | February 4, 2008 10:31 AM
Does it hurt when you drink java, man?
Posted by: therblig | February 4, 2008 10:34 AM
Well, the good news is that you've survived impalement by a spear. The bad news is that, because you're not bleeding, our clan has decided you must be a demon. We'll be burning you at the stake momentarily.
Posted by: Tom | February 4, 2008 10:36 AM
Og here kept telling me you were a tool. I had no idea he was being so literal.
Posted by: therblig | February 4, 2008 10:40 AM
"So, they tell me that you're Britney's father..."
Posted by: Kathy H | February 4, 2008 10:50 AM
"Harvey, the cave painting is really nice, but we know you just slipped while trying to sodomize yourself with the spear. Still, very remarkable that you haven't succumbed to infection."
Posted by: MAtt | February 4, 2008 10:52 AM
"Wow, that looks really cumbersome. Here's my card- stop by my office and I'll make it shorter for you."
Posted by: Deborah | February 4, 2008 10:54 AM
"Talk about raw and confrontational, that Chris Burden has nothing on you. Do you think my Manolos will be OK in the cloak-room?"
Posted by: Kosmicki | February 4, 2008 11:00 AM
"Fine art. A buffet of succulent caveman. Oh, Ted, you really know how to treat a modern woman!"
Posted by: MAtt | February 4, 2008 11:01 AM
"Could you point us to the white wine and cheese cubes?"
Posted by: jim M | February 4, 2008 11:05 AM
"Ooh! Ooh! I can't believe you're here in person! Will you do that 'Wild and Crazy Guy' routine?"
Posted by: Vance | February 4, 2008 11:15 AM
"What happened to your face?"
Posted by: Richard | February 4, 2008 11:20 AM
"Your art used to be naive, but since the accident it has become wonderfully primitive."
Posted by: GilbertBob | February 4, 2008 11:20 AM
"Ogg, it's brilliant! It really looks like actual people standing in front of the other 'artwork'! You've come up with a whole new art form - we should call it something like 'fool the eye'! Well, I suppose we can work all that out after your funeral."
Posted by: Vance | February 4, 2008 11:23 AM
"Hi, we're not here for the opening, I just really really really really really really have to use the ladies' room. Which way is it?"
Posted by: Vance | February 4, 2008 11:28 AM
"His waiting-room artwork is a little hackneyed, but I heard he's an absolutely wonderful accupuncturist... oh, Grug, there you are! Well, did it work?"
Posted by: Vance | February 4, 2008 11:33 AM
[a Neanderthal animal rights meeting]
"It's so wonderful that you saved that giant beast from the hunters. Soon we'll convert everyone to a healthy vegetarian life style and finally displace that other emerging human species."
Posted by: MAtt | February 4, 2008 11:46 AM
"Gleetings, honolable Tliangle Foot."
Posted by: Chris | February 4, 2008 11:59 AM
"Sorry, if you want to call it outsider art, you're going to have to paint it outside."
Posted by: jim M | February 4, 2008 12:48 PM
I guess with the coming ice age, this will all be considered refrigerator art.
Posted by: therblig | February 4, 2008 12:52 PM
"Well, it's like they say. Spear me once, shame on you. Spear me twice, won't get speared again."
Posted by: mypalmike | February 4, 2008 12:58 PM
Too bad he had to die, but really, what a fine example of taxidermic art!
Posted by: kejo | February 4, 2008 12:59 PM
"So, you believe an invisible man in the sky intervened and spared your life? Quaint idea, but it will never catch on."
Posted by: mypalmike | February 4, 2008 01:12 PM
"Did smeone here cal for a doctor?"
Posted by: JohnnyB | February 4, 2008 01:26 PM
I'm sorry, but I'm sharing a cave with Ed now. Believe me, it's not you, it's me.
Posted by: Marc Seger | February 4, 2008 01:26 PM
"I didn't know anyone was living here inside the giant pistol."
Posted by: JohnnyB | February 4, 2008 01:27 PM
"We love your artistic rendition, but why were you trying to kill Robin Williams?"
Posted by: Kathy H | February 4, 2008 01:29 PM
"Golly, that's horrible! Was anyone hurt?"
Posted by: JohnnyB | February 4, 2008 01:36 PM
correction:
"Did someone here call for a doctor."
(I had someone spell it for me.)
Posted by: JohnnyB | February 4, 2008 01:38 PM
"We're here to impose our morality on you; and if you don't agree we'll go on Fox News and say you are attacking our religion. Got it?"
Posted by: al in la | February 4, 2008 01:39 PM
Wow! I love men with body piercings, tattoos and uniforms and since tattoos and uniforms have'nt been invented yet, you have to be the coolest guy around these parts.
Posted by: Fred M | February 4, 2008 01:57 PM
"What's the name of that
insurance even a caveman
can use?"
Posted by: baron | February 4, 2008 02:13 PM
"Do you have any art that's not about you?"
Posted by: J | February 4, 2008 02:18 PM
"Is that a spear piercing your flesh just below your right clavicle, or are you just happy to see us?"
"We're absolutely transfixed! But not in the literal way that you are."
Posted by: Rubrick | February 4, 2008 02:40 PM
I like this new form of communication - it's Biographical, it's Linear, and it's by Ogg. So, what do you call it?
Posted by: therblig | February 4, 2008 02:51 PM
"Yes, Mr. Brady, we'd love to donate to support the spear control bill in your name."
Posted by: JohnnyB | February 4, 2008 02:55 PM
[Is that James Brady or Tom Brady?]
Posted by: mypalmike | February 4, 2008 03:08 PM
"I hear you have a job in the single-bullet-theory display! How is that going?"
Posted by: stcoleridge | February 4, 2008 03:31 PM
i see they're bored with you now that theyve got their fasciniting drawing on the cave wall to ogle over *rolls eyes* what a bunch of barbarians.
Posted by: jane | February 4, 2008 03:36 PM
uh...do you need any help with that spear stuck through your throat??
Posted by: jane | February 4, 2008 03:38 PM
The meeting for the Caveman's Society for Survivors of Tribal Attacks was going well.
Posted by: jane | February 4, 2008 03:40 PM
Caveman says: Yeah they really got me good. And they weren't even hunting me for meat or fur....they're just aggressive ....They wear leaves... Scary huh.
Posted by: jane | February 4, 2008 03:46 PM
We just wanted to thank you for being a part of the effort to kill the Giant Headless Emo Haircut that had been menacing the tribe.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | February 4, 2008 04:03 PM
Homo habilis, you crazy bastard! How are you?
Posted by: The Confidence Man | February 4, 2008 04:07 PM
Have you heard of "2 Neanderthals 1 Spear"?
Posted by: The Confidence Man | February 4, 2008 04:09 PM
"Ohhh, me love wall painting! What great about this land before time is rich caveman spear same thing as poor caveman. You can look outside and see mammoth, and know that tribe leader eat mammoth, big tribe slut eat mammoth, and just think, you can eat mammoth, too. A mammoth is a mammoth and no extra clams get better mammoth than the one the bum on the corner is spearing. All the mammoths are the same and all the mammoths are good. Big slut knows it, tribe leader knows it, and you know it."
Posted by: Chris | February 4, 2008 04:11 PM
You know, the Party *always* does this to the initial frontrunner in the primaries.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | February 4, 2008 04:11 PM
"Some of our best friends own a Pierce-Arrow."
Posted by: Tim H | February 4, 2008 04:14 PM
"It's a wonderful indictment of our throw-spears-first, ask-questions-later society."
Posted by: Francis | February 4, 2008 04:15 PM
If only you were black, we might be able to sell this!
Posted by: LK | February 4, 2008 04:44 PM
"No, there's no pain from the spear sticking through my shoulder. The acupuncture needles in my arm and calves have totally blocked it."
Posted by: jim M | February 4, 2008 04:46 PM
"....I really wouldn't have mentioned the stale crackers, myself"
Posted by: Greg | February 4, 2008 04:54 PM
"....I used to have a pen like you...but it was much smaller and more kinda like a troll doll."
Posted by: Greg | February 4, 2008 04:56 PM
"....well, yeah...if you pull it out now after all that time, it's really going to hurt like hell...."
Posted by: Greg | February 4, 2008 04:58 PM
"We're looking for something that would match our sofa....."
Posted by: Greg | February 4, 2008 04:59 PM
"It really seems like a cool idea, truly it does, and I love the explanatory graphic, but um, I think you might have a little ways to go in refining this... er.. what did you call it? 'Circumcision?'"
Posted by: Vance | February 4, 2008 05:05 PM
Which modeling agency did you say you worked for?
Posted by: glide | February 4, 2008 05:06 PM
Is this the method acting school?
Posted by: Keith | February 4, 2008 05:08 PM
"If we weren't pre-verbal, this would be the time for a witty quote."
Posted by: Glime | February 4, 2008 05:14 PM
"When you're dead, can I get my spear back?"
Posted by: Keithy | February 4, 2008 05:17 PM
"Can you come over to my place? I've got a fire going and wanted to roast marshmallows, but there are no sticks to be found."
Posted by: Julia | February 4, 2008 05:22 PM
"'Spear' me your sob story!"
Posted by: Matty | February 4, 2008 05:23 PM
"When I said OK to a three-way, I didn't know that you were two of them!"
Posted by: Kagey | February 4, 2008 05:30 PM
"Thanks again. Your suicide spearing has really helped the cause."
Posted by: MAtt | February 4, 2008 05:36 PM
Oh, you really shouldn't let those critics get to you....
huh - too late...
Posted by: simsburybear | February 4, 2008 05:54 PM
"You better move out of the hood!"
"Does Hillary Clintstone know about the violence in your neighborhood?"
"We get it, you are advertising the new restaurant at Boulder Ridge Cave called, Spear-It and Beer!"
Posted by: jeena | February 4, 2008 06:32 PM
(1) "That looks really painful and probably life-threatening. You should really go to a hospital instead of standing around in a museum."
(2)
Posted by: Jacob C | February 4, 2008 06:36 PM
Number (2) should be:
(Gestures and makes unintelligible noises because speech hasn't developed yet.)
Posted by: Jacob | February 4, 2008 06:38 PM
"Despite the obvious shock value of impalement, your artwork lacks originality. Cavemen hunting a mastodon? You might as well throw in a smoldering volcano and hit every cliché in the book."
Posted by: mypalmike | February 4, 2008 07:25 PM
Ugh. Woman behind me have arm look like boob.
Posted by: Maxwell Hammer | February 4, 2008 07:48 PM
Eli, it's incredible that you managed to win when, just twelve weeks ago, all of NY wanted you gone. How did you overcome that adversity? What was it like when Belichick speared you after the game?
Posted by: Brian L | February 4, 2008 08:09 PM
"It's my 15 minutes of inflammation."
Posted by: dwilk | February 4, 2008 08:32 PM
"My husband would just love to rip out that spear from your shoulder and then stick his cock in the wound until he shoots a snotball of come right into your bloodstream. Interested?"
Posted by: Trout Almondine | February 4, 2008 08:34 PM
"I knew this wasn't our polling place. Disenfranchised, yet again."
Posted by: David John | February 4, 2008 08:36 PM
"They nailed me all right, but were penalized for having 12 men on the field."
Posted by: dwilk | February 4, 2008 08:39 PM
"We know a doctor who can get your spear count down a little."
"We love your work in 'The Mastodon Whisperer', but we had no idea you did your own stunts."
Posted by: LV | February 4, 2008 08:41 PM
"I'd like you to meet my nephew. He wants to be an artist just like you. We really love your work!"
Posted by: Ernest | February 4, 2008 08:58 PM
"So, the trajectory of the spear, and the fact that you're still alive, rules out a suicide."
Posted by: dwilk | February 4, 2008 09:20 PM
Mom has just always been more comfortable letting her left breast dangle outside of her moomoo, but at least she has the modesty to cover-up the "fun" part. We appreciate your understanding.
Posted by: Marcie | February 4, 2008 09:51 PM
"The arrows here sever clean."
Posted by: al in la | February 4, 2008 11:33 PM
"You think this is bad? You should see the other guy!"
Posted by: maristeph | February 5, 2008 02:13 AM
"This cave drawing would seem to imply the opposite of what I represent, with my grisly wound. Oh well. Anybody want to have sex?"
Posted by: maristeph | February 5, 2008 02:19 AM
"Oh this? It's nothing! The really terrifying thing: my ass is sore and I have no idea why."
Posted by: maristeph | February 5, 2008 02:21 AM
"It's funny cause it's true!"
Posted by: maristeph | February 5, 2008 02:25 AM
"Is that a spear sticking out of your neck or are you just happy to see me?"
Posted by: maristeph | February 5, 2008 02:31 AM
"That one of the rubber chicken will look perfect over the sofa."
Posted by: Kosmicki | February 5, 2008 02:41 AM
I see it that I'm part performance artist, part life model, which goes well with with the suffering artist part.
Posted by: Gary | February 5, 2008 05:52 AM
"When we were invited to the opening we had no idea we'd meet a celebrity and here you are.... hey, wait a minute... You are an Og look alike!"
"The mural captured the big kill PERFECTLY...So.... Grug here was wondering... Can he have his spear back?"
"What mean 'Only when I laugh'?"
"So, this is the 100 clam winner in the 'Funniest Cave Painting' Show!?! Was it staged?"
"I hope this isn't a bad time... but I have met someone else... "
Posted by: Johnny V | February 5, 2008 06:36 AM
"How ironic. You keep staring at my front despite forgetting to watch your back."
Posted by: dwilk | February 5, 2008 07:26 AM
"Oh, don't thank me. I'm just so happy I could rescue you from being trapped inside that picture in the museum. Just lucky I carry a concealed spear. Sorry about it getting stuck and all."
Posted by: Anonymous | February 5, 2008 08:08 AM
oops, that anonymous was me
Posted by: JohnnyB | February 5, 2008 08:08 AM
"Hey, Og, Gor said you had coke?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | February 5, 2008 08:31 AM
"I just love Mike Huckabee/Dog fighting/According to Jim/Choate! [choose one]"
"Gerry here likes things a little more abstract but I love art with a clear Linear B narrative."
"Is that as good as you can draw?"
Real life winners:
"And what made you choose a spear?"
"Does the spear represent anything specific or is it just wacky for wacky's sake?"
"Do you deliberately try to draw the viewer into the work or am I just taking this way too seriously?"
"Do you paint from your own life or do you just make it all up?"
"I'm interested in process. Can you tell me about your process?"
"You asked everybody to dress as cavemen. Is that part of the art or was it just for fun? And is there a difference between art and fun?"
"I see Gramsci in your work, was that conscious?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | February 5, 2008 08:44 AM
"Loved your use of PowerPoint."
Posted by: LV | February 5, 2008 08:57 AM
Well, if YOU think you have it bad with your "impalement", try living with my sister "Pat" here...she is taller than everyone, is hairier than an ape and has the worst gas in the Jurassic.
Posted by: tlazar | February 5, 2008 09:49 AM
"Veni vidi ooot-greeeet-growr-graggghhh-o-leevio!"
Posted by: Chris | February 5, 2008 10:50 AM
"I know you're inventing the whole artistic persona thing from scratch, but I believe it's a chip, not a spear, and it's supposed to be on your shoulder, not through it."
Posted by: jim M | February 5, 2008 12:05 PM
"You know what would be really funny? If you turned around quickly and hit my husband in the head with the spear handle."
Posted by: jim M | February 5, 2008 12:28 PM
"The screening of your autobiographical pic 'The Spearchucker Sagas' was the bomb, but distribution will have to wait until we get past Black History Month."
"You think that hurts? Just wait 'til you're skewered by the critics."
"It's Super Tuesday and apparently the voters have spoken- better brush up your concession speech."
Posted by: LR | February 5, 2008 12:42 PM
"This gallery of yours is amazing! I suppose it helps that you have a full-time staff."
Posted by: mypalmike | February 5, 2008 12:58 PM
We really appreciate the extra effort you've been putting in during the writers' strike.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | February 5, 2008 01:02 PM
"Well, Grogg, I think you're selling yourself short when you say, 'So easy, even a caveman can do it.' "
Posted by: Tim H | February 5, 2008 01:17 PM
"Thanks for bringing it to the Roadshow. How did you come to own the piece?"
"If I'm not careful, I could really get stuck on you."
Posted by: LR | February 5, 2008 02:25 PM
So how did you get that spear through your shoulder?
Posted by: Richard E Davidson | February 5, 2008 02:57 PM
I just loved you in Braveheart!
Posted by: Richard E Davidson | February 5, 2008 02:59 PM
Do you know van Goah?
Posted by: Richard E Davidson | February 5, 2008 03:09 PM
I just love it! Can you e-mail me a copy?
Posted by: Richard E Davidson | February 5, 2008 03:12 PM
This is why I prefer Fox. When the New Wall Times wrote about this, they only covered the black man who got speared.
Posted by: Charles | February 5, 2008 03:19 PM
I think this guy was the model for the wall painting "Last Man to Die for a Mistake."
Posted by: Charles | February 5, 2008 03:20 PM
"Is it true that you zigged when you should've zagged?"
Posted by: Kathy H | February 5, 2008 03:27 PM
"So, when you went out that morning to sketch the mastadon's asshole, you didn't know about the hunting party scheduled for noon?"
Posted by: Sybil | February 5, 2008 03:32 PM
"Pleeeeze Grog.. one more time. Do that flailing of the arms think...like in the painting, but scream like a girl!"
"So... where is the free food and the bar?"
"Okay... you're sleeping on your side. What else is new Brug?"
"Yes, Yes, we saw the painting... Now which one was you, again?"
Posted by: Johnny V | February 5, 2008 04:24 PM
THING... not think
Posted by: Johnny V | February 5, 2008 04:25 PM
THING... not think
Posted by: Johnny V | February 5, 2008 04:25 PM
"Hmmm. What mean 'friendly fire'?"
Posted by: Johnny V | February 5, 2008 04:26 PM
“There’s a woolly mammoth outside that wants to have a good guffaw at your expense.”
Posted by: al in la | February 5, 2008 05:29 PM
"All in all, not the best way to exterminate body lice, eh?"
Posted by: J.D. | February 5, 2008 08:33 PM
"Oh, you artists and your body piercings!"
Posted by: Dave | February 5, 2008 09:48 PM
"I'm not gonna pay a lot for this muffler!!!" Get it??
Posted by: Henry | February 5, 2008 09:54 PM
"This modern art seems so... bloodless."
Posted by: Dave | February 5, 2008 09:56 PM
"Aahhh... I think I finally see your point."
Posted by: Dave | February 5, 2008 09:58 PM
"Let me give you a little projectile tip..."
Posted by: Dave | February 5, 2008 09:59 PM
"So how exactly did you find out that Mankoff liked the cartoon but not the caption you had written for it?"
Posted by: RichM | February 5, 2008 10:49 PM
"Vitiligo?"
Posted by: J.D. | February 6, 2008 05:14 AM
"What mean 'dialectical restructuring of pre-agricultural workplace power dynamic?'"
"What mean use of color?"
"What mean 'vernissage?'"
"You right. Jackson Pollock pussy."
"What's your policy on validating existence? Do we have to buy anything? Or is it enough we show up?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | February 6, 2008 05:34 AM
Sorry for the over-posting; I have Obama-fever.
Posted by: TG Gibbon | February 6, 2008 06:04 AM
"It made me hot when you called me 'dirty whore' last night. But this is today, and I'd really prefer it if you just called me mom."
(That was so funny last week, that it's STILL funny with a different cartoon!)
"We are here from the insurance conpany to investigate the accident. I am Sheilia Stone, and this is my partner Crow Magnon, P.I."
Brun, the tribe isn't laughing AT you they are... uh... ok we are laughing at you."
Posted by: Johnny V | February 6, 2008 07:20 AM
Company
(sorry for the postings, too.. I just have a fever)
Posted by: Johnny V | February 6, 2008 07:22 AM
Love, love, love the artwork. Have you ever thought about doing commercials? Maybe we could even get a development deal at one of the networks?
Posted by: GilbertBob | February 6, 2008 09:55 AM
"Me get it! You human cocktail weiner! Ha ha! Wait...what IS cocktail weiner?"
Posted by: Chris | February 6, 2008 10:44 AM
"Thank you for your service."
Posted by: Joshua | February 6, 2008 11:23 AM
"So, you say they retrained you from being a javelin thrower to being a javelin catcher? Well, that's just sad."
Posted by: Kathy H | February 6, 2008 11:33 AM
"I see they've given you the shaft...and then some."
Posted by: Tim H | February 6, 2008 11:41 AM
Of course we're in the right era. After all, nothing predates us. Can I interest you in an issue of Watchtower?
Posted by: PeterK | February 6, 2008 02:13 PM
"Things are showing up on YouCave almost as soon as they happen!"
Posted by: shadysidelantern | February 6, 2008 03:19 PM
"While you really suck at the Caption Contest, here you really have captured what a schlemiel you are quite nicely."
Posted by: Michael in LA | February 6, 2008 03:31 PM
"We don't get it. But we LOVE your use of color!"
Posted by: Michael in LA | February 6, 2008 03:32 PM
John, this playfully lifelike piece was sculpted by Dwayne Hanson's great great great great great great great grandson. Oh, you question how I know that? He's my fucking husband...that's how I know that. Let's fool around after the show.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 6, 2008 03:36 PM
John, this is Forg, the greatest life model in the history of our art. The taxidermist did him for free. In fact taxidermists all over the globe competed for the contract. The RFP stated that Forg's representation should have the love of mamouth in his eyes. Let's fuck now.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 03:56 PM
John, isn't it so cool that we Know the Earth is a globe when most people don't know they their ass from a hole in the ground, where most of these fuckers still shit into. Let's strip off right now. Fuck these artsy fartsy types.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 04:01 PM
John, this guy was stupid enough to craw into that weaponized contraption featured in a previous cartoon. Do you think you'd like to fuck me with that type of thing?
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 04:16 PM
John, I should tell you that I'm pregnant with Dwayne Hanson's great great great great great great great grandson. Maybe we shouldn't fuck.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 04:21 PM
John, the type of life model you are looking at petered out long ago for obvious reasons.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 04:25 PM
Before we leave, where's the best corner to take a shit?
Posted by: Ricky Jones | February 6, 2008 04:37 PM
We just love the way you've incorporated ochre.
Posted by: Ricky Jones | February 6, 2008 04:39 PM
"If I were you I'd hunt down those sp**r ch*ckers and [obscenity] them in the [vulgarism].
Posted by: J.D. | February 6, 2008 04:42 PM
We're here for the Hands-on Sex Workshop.
Posted by: Pete | February 6, 2008 04:56 PM
John, these are the stuffed remains of the Artist/Comic Formally Known As Grog. Critics swear he's funnier now.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 05:35 PM
John, one day they'll be a series of commercials about us that will start of strong and really peter out of ideas. But the good news is that I just saved a whole lotta money on my manmouth insurance. I feel great but there something I need to know -what is money and what is insurance? I'm so flustered that I goona take a shit right now in the corner.
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 05:50 PM
Your art has spirit, Lance.
Posted by: Ricky Jones | February 6, 2008 06:07 PM
"Our hands itch terribly- do you recommend macropuncture?"
Posted by: LV | February 6, 2008 06:25 PM
John, it if I lifted that spear off that poor excuse for a sculpture and rammed it up your ass? Would that be plagerism or merely utilizaton of 'found' art?
Posted by: Gary Goldsmith | February 6, 2008 07:01 PM
"You tried valiantly to stop the poachers from killing the beast. Too bad you didn't murder all those bad men; we would have invited you to join PETA."
Posted by: Brian L | February 6, 2008 08:54 PM