The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #131
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Update: I forgot to remind you that the winner of this week's contest will receive a signed copy of The Bush Tragedy by Jacob Weisberg.
Winner
"I bet this is killing a tremendous number of people." —Dan McCoy
Finalists
"So much for my career as a safe salesman." —Ned
"This is just God's way of saying he has too many safes." —Francis
Honorable mention
"I have long argued that Ben Bernanke's efforts to encourage spending in the midst of a recession might have dangerous repercussions upon the nation, but I did not anticipate that it would so suddenly kill our only son."—dean @ t.a.m.s.y.
"I take back what I said about the pillow-top car." —Charles
"It's raining men! Men trapped in safes! Suffocating! ... Hallelujia!" —Ernest
(thinks to self) Sigh. Why can't it ever be raining men, like in that song? "Oh, uh, hello Doris. Just thinking some perfectly heterosexual thoughts here at the window. Hallelujah." —kejo
"Ahh the irony of a dangerous safe." —Amy
"Looks like go-kart Mozart got his answer." —Rubrick
"Two things haunted Edward's troubled mind: apocalyptic visions of a collapsing economy, and the legless ghost of his dead sister." —mypalmike
"In Soviet Russia, safe cracks YOU! ...Oh shit, it's actually happening here!" —Jacob C
"It's not the heat, it's the humidity. And the safes." — therblig
"God help us if his book ever gets a plug from Oprah. It'll take him a month to pick the fucking winner." —Anonymous
Comments
I think it's finally "safe" to go outside. Hyuk hyuk!
Posted by: kejo | January 21, 2008 10:02 AM
(thinks to self) Sigh. Why can't it ever be raining men, like in that song? "Oh, uh, hello Doris. Just thinking some perfectly heterosexual thoughts here at the window. Hallelujah."
Posted by: kejo | January 21, 2008 10:02 AM
Well, we prayed to be showered with money. I guess we should have specified that it not be locked away in safes to which we don't have the combination. Curse you, God! Next time, we're prayin' to Satan!
Posted by: kejo | January 21, 2008 10:02 AM
“Overstock.com is offering free shipping this month.”
Posted by: dwilk | January 21, 2008 10:06 AM
I take back what I said about the pillow-top car.
Posted by: Charles | January 21, 2008 10:14 AM
"You'll need an umbrella - it's starting to safe."
Posted by: Deborah | January 21, 2008 10:16 AM
"Honey, I think we just found our hedge against the coming recession."
Posted by: Kathy H | January 21, 2008 10:17 AM
"Dang, that Al Roker was right!"
Posted by: Kathy H | January 21, 2008 10:19 AM
"Looks like the terrorists have blown up Fort Knox. Let's stay inside and wait for the telethon to come on."
"This is the worst homage to 'Magnolia' EVER."
"You know what this makes me nostalgic for? Acid rain."
"Sure, it's horrifying, but in a way it's totally consistent with the rest of 'The Bush Tragedy.'"
Posted by: gary | January 21, 2008 10:20 AM
"C'mon, honey, let's have some safe sex!"
Posted by: Tim H | January 21, 2008 10:21 AM
It’s the whole reason I bought a Dodge!”
Posted by: dwilk | January 21, 2008 10:22 AM
"I did not see this coming."
Posted by: Kathy H | January 21, 2008 10:24 AM
"SPEAK UP! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SAFES HITTING THE ROOF!"
Posted by: Chris | January 21, 2008 10:32 AM
"Well, if that don't just beat all."
Posted by: Vance | January 21, 2008 10:44 AM
"See? Even though it's 500 pounds of iron traveling at 50 mph, it just bounces off the roof. Now aren't you glad we got a Safe House?"
Posted by: Vance | January 21, 2008 10:46 AM
"at least it's not pianos or black triangular 10,000 lb weights."
Posted by: Anonymous | January 21, 2008 10:48 AM
"No, you said 'I'll clean out the gutters on Monday no matter what. Those were your exact words. Get out there."
Posted by: Vance | January 21, 2008 10:48 AM
I guess I don't mind living down the road from the Cheney's...most of the time
Posted by: simsburybear | January 21, 2008 10:55 AM
Well, it's not on your wedding day, but "safes" raining down, Alanis, is irony.
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 21, 2008 10:55 AM
No, seriously, we shouldn't stand by the window and we should call 911.
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 21, 2008 10:57 AM
I warned you about buying into a neighborhood called "Safe Harbor".
If my movie career wasn't floundering, I swear I would never do another of these ludicrous Stepen King movies.
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 21, 2008 11:02 AM
"Is it 'safes' outside? Or 'saves'?"
"Jesus! Safes!"
"Sure, with inflation pennies from heaven wouldn't really get you much. Still, I can't help but think it would cause fewer horrible deaths. It's like the church fete scene in 'Hot Fuzz' around here."
"I told you we should have bombed those bastards in ACMEstan when we had the chance. Oh well, which way's Mecca?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | January 21, 2008 11:22 AM
"This could only result in massive inflation."
Posted by: J | January 21, 2008 11:30 AM
"...adapter boxes for digital TV."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | January 21, 2008 11:31 AM
"When I told you to say the safe word last week, I meant the one regarding our sexual play, not the one that summons up a potentially lethal storm of iron."
Posted by: GilbertBob | January 21, 2008 11:43 AM
"Two questions: How many of those second-hand Air Force safes did you order? And with all the money you 'saved' why didn't you at least pay for regular shipping?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | January 21, 2008 11:50 AM
"Do you remember when we were younger? We thought it was so much fun to go out and run around outside every time it rained safes."
Posted by: GilbertBob | January 21, 2008 11:52 AM
"Every time a safe falls, a Citigroup angel gets his wings clipped."
Posted by: GilbertBob | January 21, 2008 11:54 AM
"Worst - economic - stimulous - package - EVER."
"Damn Bernacke."
Posted by: Richard | January 21, 2008 12:04 PM
"I bet this is killing a tremendous number of people."
Posted by: Dan McCoy | January 21, 2008 12:15 PM
"My word! I'd hate to be caught outside on a day like this!"
Posted by: Slide | January 21, 2008 12:18 PM
“This is only drizzle, Norma. The banks are next.”
Posted by: dwilk | January 21, 2008 12:27 PM
[Man thinking to self] I wish I could think of a clever pun related to these large lockboxes.
Posted by: mypalmike | January 21, 2008 12:42 PM
How positively Fortean!
Posted by: kejo | January 21, 2008 12:43 PM
"I've heard of falling liquidity but this is dangerous!"
Posted by: TGGibbon | January 21, 2008 12:59 PM
HE:
An early June storm
Brings a shower of safes
Smashing house and car
SHE:
Curse you and your freaking haiku! We're going to die!
Posted by: kejo | January 21, 2008 1:15 PM
"For the first time since you lost your sight and got that huge insurance check, I feel you're ready to take a walk around the yard."
Posted by: LV | January 21, 2008 1:30 PM
"Polly want a safe cracker?"
Posted by: Ian S. | January 21, 2008 1:37 PM
Two things haunted Edward's troubled mind: apocalyptic visions of a collapsing economy, and the legless ghost of his dead sister.
Posted by: mypalmike | January 21, 2008 2:36 PM
"I'm glad they finally made a sequel to that great film SAFE AT HOME."
Posted by: Tim H | January 21, 2008 2:38 PM
With inflation what it's been, 'pennies from heaven' just isn't good enough anymore.
Posted by: znufrii | January 21, 2008 2:40 PM
"Some say the world will end in fire;
"Some say in ice.
"From what I've seen of human greed,
"I think the world will end indeed
"With all the life-forms being smashed
"By falling safes chock-full of cash."
Posted by: Jacob C | January 21, 2008 3:11 PM
"Philosophers say in an infinite, eternal universe, all possible outcomes, no matter how unlikely, eventually come to pass, if one waits long enough. But now I recall this very thing happening a couple of months ago, so maybe it's not so remarkable after all."
"So I guess Mike Bloomberg decided to run for President."
Posted by: RichM | January 21, 2008 3:18 PM
"That Pharaoh sure is an asshole."
Posted by: Deborah | January 21, 2008 3:42 PM
I hope the combos are next.
Posted by: TMo | January 21, 2008 3:43 PM
"You know, D. B. Cooper's kids don't have his flair."
"SHIT!... I mean it and I don't appologize...SHIT!"
"Oh... It's just the car alarm!"
"MAN... That's a lot of falling safes!"
"Have you seen the dog?"
Posted by: Johnny V | January 21, 2008 3:54 PM
"You know this reminds me of the big storm back in '68 when it was raining washing machines. Now, THAT was a STORM!!!"
"That counted as one wish, right?!"
"You know what would be cool?! If a Looney Toons character was to suddenly walk out from one of those safes... You know, with little tweeting birds or stars circling his head?! THAT would be cool."
Posted by: Johnny V | January 21, 2008 4:00 PM
Oh my God!!! Billy!!! He was walking on the lawn and then.... Nooooo!!!! Megan!!! In the car!!! Crushed!!! Oh good LORD!!! A squirrel, on the roof!!!
Posted by: kejo | January 21, 2008 4:03 PM
"I've heard of this program. Each one has a child's wish written on the inside."
"Okay! Okay! I DO believe in Jesus! Sheesh."
"Actually, any size safe could be a 'man-sized' safe, depending on the size of the man and how hard you're willing to cram him in there. Ferinstance, each of these, contains a Mexican. Long story."
Posted by: Trout Almondine | January 21, 2008 4:20 PM
Ahh the irony of a dangerous safe.
I wondered why it was called a "Blottery" ticket.
SHH!!! Did you just hear that?
Hmmm, sounds like people jumping from the towers, doesn't it?
Posted by: Amy | January 21, 2008 4:55 PM
"You know what they say in a soft economy: It's a hard...it's a hard...it's a hard...it's a hard...it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall."
Posted by: al in la | January 21, 2008 5:12 PM
I don't understand. I filled those safes with helium.
Posted by: kejo | January 21, 2008 5:40 PM
"Well, the homosexuals and abortionists have really done it to us this time."
Posted by: Joshua | January 21, 2008 5:46 PM
It's raining Schrödinger's cats and Joshu's dogs.
Posted by: jb | January 21, 2008 6:08 PM
"Looks like Brinks isn't quite as sharp when it comes to their planes...heh, heh."
Posted by: Friedson | January 21, 2008 8:03 PM
"The ROIs here are obscene."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 21, 2008 8:59 PM
“I thought I told you to pull the car into the living room.”
Posted by: dwilk | January 21, 2008 9:17 PM
"Isn't it great of Japan to send aid via air drops?"
Posted by: Brian L | January 21, 2008 9:53 PM
"What's the combination, Kenneth?"
Posted by: lawrence | January 21, 2008 10:25 PM
"I have long argued that Ben Bernanke's efforts to encourage spending in the midst of a recession might have dangerous repercussions upon the nation, but I did not anticipate that it would so suddenly kill our only son."
Posted by: dean @ t.a.m.s.y. | January 21, 2008 10:34 PM
"Jeweyest Jewish conspiracy ever."
Posted by: dean @ t.a.m.s.y. | January 21, 2008 10:48 PM
"Yayyyy! Safes! Yayyyyy!"
Posted by: Chris | January 21, 2008 11:09 PM
"Fuck."
Posted by: Ogdred | January 22, 2008 12:08 AM
"More fallout from the sub-prime collapse."
"The lottery provides $100,000 a year for life -- the devils in the details"
Posted by: C@Lmike | January 22, 2008 12:26 AM
NASA's release that they've made the Shuttle fail-safe is embargoed 'til when?
Posted by: LIDan | January 22, 2008 12:34 AM
"Honey, go get the Farmer's Almanac. There's something I want to look up."
Posted by: Ogdred | January 22, 2008 12:42 AM
"I've just thought of the perfect ending for my novel."
Posted by: Ogdred | January 22, 2008 12:44 AM
Did you see the creepy snowman that was here last week?
Posted by: Milton | January 22, 2008 12:58 AM
"I hate it when they forget the parachutes."
Posted by: C@Lmike | January 22, 2008 1:27 AM
Please submit that to the New Yorker too, lawrence ... they'll pee their pants running it.
Posted by: jb | January 22, 2008 2:56 AM
"Christ! What an assortment of flying Houdinis!"
Posted by: dwilk | January 22, 2008 4:05 AM
Quick, run out and see if they are locked and if there is money in them.
This "Amazing Fear Factor Race: Who Wants a Deal or No Deal to be a Big Brother Millionaire Survivor?" is never going to catch on. But I bet the money's in the one on our car. Go run out and check.
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 22, 2008 7:45 AM
"Damn the cost of parachutes!"
Posted by: Johnny V | January 22, 2008 7:51 AM
And God said: "I know I've been lax about this in the past, but things have gotten out of hand, so I'm serious this time -- you really CAN'T take it with you."
Posted by: J.D. | January 22, 2008 8:14 AM
Didja hear that, Beavis? They want to *stimulus* your *package,* heh-heh heh-heh.
ABC's starting to burn through their stockpile of "Carpoolers." So what about all those episodes of "Cavemen"? "Cavemen" is way funnier.
Posted by: Apache Fogg | January 22, 2008 9:44 AM
"You've got to admit that was a hell of a roofing job that guy did." - But, curses, Vance has presaged the concept!
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 22, 2008 12:27 PM
"Well, you always wanted a moon roof."
(instead).
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 22, 2008 12:29 PM
"Fuck Benjamin Franklin! I'd gladly give up essential liberty for a little temporary safe-- Holy shit!"
Posted by: J.D. | January 22, 2008 12:35 PM
You know Marcie, for YOUR sake - and the sake of our marriage - you'd better hope your torso and ummm your "lady parts" are in at least ONE of those rascals...
Posted by: tlazar | January 22, 2008 12:59 PM
Here stands an ordinary man and woman in their home. Safes crashing down around them. The heaviness of the world destroying their lives. A strange and destructive cacophony. One couple's quiet insanity is just another trip to - what we like to call - The Twilight Zone.
Posted by: Friz | January 22, 2008 1:20 PM
I guess even God read The Lovely Bones.
Posted by: LK | January 22, 2008 1:21 PM
"Looks like go-kart Mozart got his answer."
"Looks like the teenage couple in that car are 'safe at second base'. And mildly concussed."
"I think Gallileo is up in heaven, trying to prove something. Which suggests that his late-life renunciation of Copernican theory to the Pope, while insincere, must have been sufficient to convince the Lord. Either that or the Catholic doctrine of Papal infallibility is suspect. Wanna fuck?"
Posted by: Rubrick | January 22, 2008 1:37 PM
"I believe we saw this last weekend in the preview for AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, PART II."
Posted by: jim M | January 22, 2008 1:42 PM
(1) "Once again, our government gets it wrong. The money contained in those safes could eradicate homelessness in this country. But instead they're just eradicating the homeless."
(2) "In Soviet Russia, safe cracks YOU! ...Oh shit, it's actually happening here!"
Posted by: Jacob C | January 22, 2008 1:42 PM
"It's fun to watch the global financial markets explode. But I still prefer meteor showers."
Posted by: GilbertBob | January 22, 2008 1:59 PM
It's not the heat, it's the humidity. And the safes.
Posted by: therblig | January 22, 2008 2:03 PM
"The tax rebates here are brutal."
Posted by: Chris | January 22, 2008 2:08 PM
Well, the weatherman did say to expect heavy rains.
Posted by: therblig | January 22, 2008 2:14 PM
This is why we have direct deposit.
Posted by: therblig | January 22, 2008 2:21 PM
The showers here are obscene.
Posted by: kejo | January 22, 2008 2:41 PM
"I don't think those Car Talk guys are going to believe this."
Posted by: Kathy H | January 22, 2008 2:43 PM
"I don't know why Dustin Hoffman and Lawrence Olivier just popped into my mind, but they did."
Posted by: jim M | January 22, 2008 3:16 PM
I don't understand how bin laden thinks this is going to make us feel unsafe.
Posted by: therblig | January 22, 2008 3:24 PM
"Myron, your not-so-subtle attempt to cop a feel while I'm distracted by this rain of safes isn't going to work. Because I have no lower body."
Posted by: Rubrick | January 22, 2008 3:33 PM
Wouldn't you know? I was thinking of picking up a power drill and explosives at lunchtime yesterday, but I went and got a haircut instead. Now they're gonna be sold out.
Posted by: Walt | January 22, 2008 4:26 PM
You can never trust weatherreport.com. They called for occasional furniture.
Posted by: Chrisco | January 22, 2008 4:29 PM
Well, dear, you were the one who told the realtor you wanted to relocate to a "safe area"
Posted by: Kal | January 22, 2008 4:31 PM
It's raining safes! Hallelujah!
Posted by: Jessica | January 22, 2008 5:22 PM
Quick! What's your safe word?
Posted by: JohnnyB | January 22, 2008 5:26 PM
"I believe this the the second coming of Al Gore's Social Security lockbox."
Posted by: jim M | January 22, 2008 5:34 PM
Aw! It's just another one of those Nigerian scams. You know... send us $5,000 and we'll send you the safe combination.
Posted by: Fred M | January 22, 2008 6:41 PM
"Maybe God is answering our prays while making a statement about the folly of adjustable rate mortgages."
Posted by: al in la | January 22, 2008 7:17 PM
"That's funny, I don't *feel* safe."
Posted by: Larry Hastings | January 22, 2008 7:53 PM
"This reminds me of something my grandfather once said. He said, 'Tim my boy, one day, it will rain safes.'"
Posted by: Ed C | January 22, 2008 9:20 PM
"Maybe if we set our safe free, they will leave us alone."
Posted by: Ed C | January 22, 2008 9:23 PM
The explanation is very simple Marge, it's called "gravity."
Posted by: Dex | January 22, 2008 9:28 PM
"Fourteen safes at night, sailor’s delight. Fourteen safes in morning, sailor’s warning."
Posted by: Tim H | January 22, 2008 10:04 PM
AAh, I hope at least one meter maid dies.
Posted by: Fortune Cookie | January 22, 2008 11:43 PM
"I don't understand why you can never do this when James Randi is around."
Posted by: Francis | January 23, 2008 1:10 AM
"This is just God's way of saying he has too many safes."
Posted by: Francis | January 23, 2008 1:14 AM
Honey, I want an abortion.
Posted by: Ernest | January 23, 2008 2:45 AM
"See, if you liquidate your account they will evaporate and then consolidate in the clouds."
Posted by: Brian L | January 23, 2008 3:41 AM
"It rains when god cries, but this happens when god shits a brick."
Posted by: Brian L | January 23, 2008 3:41 AM
"So now tell me genius, is this what you had in mind when you sold your soul for 'a house, a car and tons of money?'"
Posted by: al in la | January 23, 2008 3:41 AM
"Each one comes with an episode of the Twilight Zone inside and limited edition broken glasses."
Posted by: Brian L | January 23, 2008 3:43 AM
"Well, I'm off to work. What, you're calling in sick? 'Cause of this? Fuckin' lazy, Angela."
Posted by: David John | January 23, 2008 3:47 AM
"If it wasn't raining heavy steel safes, we could go for a walk."
Posted by: David John | January 23, 2008 4:23 AM
The alternate, only slightly less lame ending to There Will Be Blood.
Posted by: Anno-nymous | January 23, 2008 4:25 AM
"I always thought this neighborhood had too many coyotes. And Jews."
Posted by: Ernest | January 23, 2008 5:09 AM
"Darn. I just heard on the radio, it isn't jewelry and gold bars in the safes after all. It's space aliens. And they hate us."
Posted by: David John | January 23, 2008 5:52 AM
"This is boring. Let me show you a cigar shaped object."
Posted by: dwilk | January 23, 2008 8:04 AM
"...It isn't raining rain, you see, Its raining Vi-O-Lence!"
Posted by: shadysidelantern | January 23, 2008 10:31 AM
"I must admit my puzzlement that one falling safe clearly exceeded the elastic strength of a steel car roof; while another merely spalled of a few bits of composite shingle."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | January 23, 2008 10:38 AM
"Trickle-down economics with some ass behind it."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | January 23, 2008 10:40 AM
"I'm guessing there was some sort of air freight accident."
Posted by: shadysidelantern | January 23, 2008 11:20 AM
"You're right, I wasn't impressed when Christo put up those stupid orange gates in Central Park, but this has got my full attention."
Posted by: jim M | January 23, 2008 11:28 AM
"God's pooping."
Posted by: Crepuscule | January 23, 2008 11:57 AM
Lawrence Olivier: "Is it Safe?"
Dustin Hoffman: "It's very safe."
Posted by: John Tabin | January 23, 2008 1:04 PM
"Wow, I knew the marketing for Oprah's new 'O!' channel was going to be off the charts, but this is insane."
Posted by: PaulieBoy | January 23, 2008 1:52 PM
"I wonder what your dad would say about this. God rest his soul."
Posted by: PaulieBoy | January 23, 2008 1:53 PM
"It's more viral advertising for Geraldo's special where he opens Meyer Lansky's safe."
Posted by: jim M | January 23, 2008 3:51 PM
Better call Lloyd, pronto -- he's out on the lake, ice fishing...
Posted by: Apache Fogg | January 23, 2008 5:38 PM
I've heard that "The Bush Tragedy" is pretty hot. Even hotter than "Yes Cunt-Tease For Old Men" and "Best of Buster Hymen, Vol. 4: There Will Be Blood."
Posted by: Apache Fogg | January 23, 2008 5:41 PM
"I'll tell you what's weird. That's not a safe by the window. It's a television."
Posted by: Johnny V | January 23, 2008 5:59 PM
(Sigh) ... I suppose this means the authorities will be responding. How will we explain the meth lab in the basement?
Posted by: Ernest | January 23, 2008 9:13 PM
"That damn Bill Gates... He thinks it's okay to just dump the waste from his private plane wherever he pleases".
Posted by: Brad Bannister | January 23, 2008 9:26 PM
"Could be worse...It might've been Dave Matthew's plane flying over..."
Posted by: Brad Bannister | January 23, 2008 9:28 PM
"Look,honey. It's raining cat and dog carriers out there."
Posted by: Brad Bannister | January 23, 2008 9:29 PM
"Good thing I rolled up the windows."
Posted by: Brad Bannister | January 23, 2008 9:30 PM
"Whoa! Head for the bomb shelter! But first, be sure all our important papers are in the (heh heh heh heh ha-HOOey) safe!"
Posted by: Chris | January 23, 2008 10:14 PM
"Man, 'Extreme Makeover, Home Edition' is just phoning this one in."
Posted by: Chris | January 23, 2008 10:17 PM
"Honey, ring up Radosh and ask if it's racist to call in a safe cracker."
Posted by: Tim H | January 23, 2008 11:02 PM
"Honey, call Weisberg and tell him the advance on his next book is here."
Posted by: Kathy H | January 23, 2008 11:10 PM
This is going to wreak havoc with the morning commute.
Posted by: Shawn | January 23, 2008 11:20 PM
"Not again!"
Posted by: Harry | January 23, 2008 11:48 PM
Time to google safe-cracking, David Ogden Stiers!
Posted by: Leila | January 24, 2008 2:14 AM
"Darlene, love of my life, will you make me the happiest man in the world? Darlene, will you marry...AUGHHHH HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIT MOTHER OF GOD RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIFE!"
Posted by: Chris | January 24, 2008 8:28 AM
"Don't fret dear. What with Tony Blair becoming a Catholic and a JP Morgan Chase consultant in the same breath something like this was bound to happen."
Posted by: J.D. | January 24, 2008 9:54 AM
"Heavy weather? Yeah, right. I know you're trying to be funny, but come on: When I was a kid we'd have torrential downpours of grand pianos - not the dinky six-foot baby grands, but full nine-foot Steinways - and nobody called off school then."
Posted by: Vance | January 24, 2008 10:59 AM
"The Panspermia crowd are going to have a field day!"
Posted by: J.D. | January 24, 2008 11:05 AM
Funny, I pictured the rapture with a lot more fire and brimstone. Still, this is pretty effective.
Posted by: therblig | January 24, 2008 11:16 AM
You see? Contrary to the assertion of standup comedians everywhere, it turns out there was no benefit whatsoever to constructing that aircraft entirely out of the same materials as the black box containing the flight recorders. Man, does he look stupid now.
Posted by: junior | January 24, 2008 11:46 AM
"Interstingly, although they all look the same, they appear to vary in mass, and, in at least one case, elasticity."
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 24, 2008 12:00 PM
" ...., or, you could spell it 'Interestingly' "
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 24, 2008 12:01 PM
"Actually, I preferred the flying toasters as a screensaver."
Posted by: jim M | January 24, 2008 12:20 PM
"Although the land was cheap, I regret building the safe factory on a volcano."
Posted by: Mo Buck | January 24, 2008 12:25 PM
"I don't hear the safe word. Do you hear the safe word?"
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 24, 2008 1:15 PM
"I REALLY hate Alanis Morrisette."
"Good thing I took the Halliburton upgrade on our home insurance policy."
Posted by: Friedson | January 24, 2008 1:55 PM
"Looks like the terrorists hit Trump's penthouse."
Posted by: LR | January 24, 2008 1:59 PM
"Steinways? Hell ! Why, in my day I trudged through many a fall of Bösendorfer 290s"
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 24, 2008 2:04 PM
"Lo!, well, I'll be damned."
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 24, 2008 2:08 PM
"I'm not sure we should have opted for the Super Saver shipping."
Posted by: stcoleridge | January 24, 2008 2:09 PM
"You're such a showoff. We should have just gotten the regular lawn-aeration service."
Posted by: LR | January 24, 2008 2:28 PM
Henry and Edna had only practiced for, "It's raining soup!"
Posted by: Richard Davidson | January 24, 2008 4:13 PM
I thought you wished for a puppy...
Posted by: R.E.D. | January 24, 2008 4:20 PM
Oh, by the way, Big O is having a sale on those new tires you wanted.
Posted by: R.E.D. | January 24, 2008 4:24 PM
"You owe me a blow job."
"I'm not familiar with this colloquialism."
"I think it's about to stop. I see a arc of dollar signs in the sky."
"If I thought the forecast was going to be correct I wouldn't have made him walk home from school! I guess we should probably start making another kid just to be on the safe side. Ha! I slay me. And my kids."
Posted by: MAtt | January 24, 2008 5:03 PM
"Whoa dude- this is like, so heavy. Get it? I said heavy. So like, what goes up must come down right? So like, who threw those up there?"
Posted by: Kosmicki | January 24, 2008 5:09 PM
"The falling American dollar is going to ruin my vacation in more ways than one."
Posted by: Kosmicki | January 24, 2008 5:25 PM
"Harold,even with that bulky sweater you still have man-boobs"
"Gees... a safe just hit our... hey, what kind of car DO we own?!?"
"Yes... weird... and not a cloud in the sky!"
Posted by: Johnny V | January 24, 2008 6:12 PM
"Laverne!This free delivery of drop safes - sucks!"
Posted by: Dr. Sumguy | January 24, 2008 6:23 PM
"Wow! That one just took out all our hedges...talk about a 'Bush Tragedy.'"
Posted by: al in la | January 24, 2008 6:26 PM
"You think it's safe, kejo? Only if you have no vault insurance! Hyuk hyuk snort!!"
Posted by: David F | January 24, 2008 6:27 PM
"Oh great! Something else that pious little jerk Kirk Cameron can call "the atheist's nightmare.""
Posted by: J.D. | January 24, 2008 7:39 PM
"Alls I'm saying is that after this there's gotta be one helluva rainbow."
Posted by: Tim H | January 24, 2008 11:21 PM
"After Huckabee, nothing shocks me."
Posted by: C@L MIke | January 24, 2008 11:51 PM
"It's raining men! Men trapped in safes! Suffocating! ... Hallelujia!"
Posted by: Ernest | January 25, 2008 1:59 AM
What the fuck? First we're seeing a snowman partially come to life. Now we're still standing at the window, but one of us is ostensibly a man, and much fatter. And the illustration style has changed, just a little.
Now -- at least me, don't know about you -- I'm seeing safes raining down from the skies.
I still think that Kurt Schwette put some dope in those balls we ate. There's no other explanation why we'e be tripping like this.
--Terri Jo
Posted by: Optimus Sub-Prime | January 25, 2008 2:56 AM
"Veni vidi soon-it's-gonna-safe o-leevio!"
Posted by: Chris | January 25, 2008 1:15 PM
"I hope you remembered to buy some yeggs."
Posted by: Francis | January 25, 2008 2:27 PM
Somehow President Bush got the Tax Rebate Economic Stimulus Package confused with the war in Iraq...
Posted by: R.E.D. | January 25, 2008 2:51 PM
I guess now we just wait for the "sound".
Posted by: therblig | January 25, 2008 3:15 PM
This isn't so bad. I heard that a bank branch fell on Lewiston yesterday.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 25, 2008 3:26 PM
"It seems like agent Feldman has succeeded."
"Harold knew the hallucinations were getting worse, but the death of his wife still haunted steps."
Posted by: Zack Mentz | January 25, 2008 4:21 PM
Channel 3 is running this on the news, let's go watch it on the big-screen.
Posted by: Shawn | January 25, 2008 9:03 PM
"You know, a few safes fall from the sky down here in the south, and people forget how to drive."
Posted by: Greg | January 25, 2008 9:39 PM
"Is there ever a bad time to go out for donuts?"
Posted by: Greg | January 25, 2008 9:41 PM
"You fly, I'll buy."
Posted by: Greg | January 25, 2008 9:43 PM
I think I saw this on "The 10 Most Ironic Ways for the World to End."
Posted by: Ned | January 26, 2008 2:47 AM
So much for my career as a safe salesman.
Posted by: Ned | January 26, 2008 2:58 AM
I don't give a fig for Isaac Newton!
Posted by: K | January 26, 2008 7:44 AM
I didn't know you could bounce cash.
Posted by: K | January 26, 2008 7:56 AM
"We here in Gaza must no longer stand for these acts of aggression by the Zionist entity."
Posted by: RichM | January 26, 2008 1:03 PM
I don't see any lightning, honey. Do you wanna go outside a play?
Posted by: Beth Avram | January 26, 2008 2:57 PM
"Jimmy Valentine must have gotten his wings"!
Posted by: COOKIES BOY | January 26, 2008 8:51 PM
What did Henry Fonda drop on Moscow to deserve this?
Posted by: therblig | January 26, 2008 9:04 PM
"I just got off the phone with some mobsters. Turns out, this is what the FBI meant by safe house. We're going to die."
Posted by: David John | January 27, 2008 2:44 AM
"Thank god I know how to open safes!"
Posted by: Harry | January 27, 2008 4:21 AM
"I'm going out for Skittles."
Posted by: David John | January 27, 2008 8:40 AM
"Which part don't you understand -- 'ironic,' or 'metaphor'?"
Posted by: Joshua | January 27, 2008 12:27 PM
"If I've told you once, I've told you 200 times: There's nothing funny here!"
Posted by: al in la | January 27, 2008 3:55 PM
Those bleeding hearts are going to say global warming did this.
Posted by: Melissa | January 27, 2008 4:51 PM
"Good thing I opted for the 'irony' clause on our insurance policy. Probably not so good that the plan's with Countrywide. Hopefully it will all come out in the wash, if you will."
Posted by: Friedson | January 27, 2008 5:05 PM
This is nothing compared to the Great Microwave Storm of 1956.
Posted by: Dave | January 27, 2008 5:44 PM
"BERNANKE!!!!!"
Posted by: znufrii | January 27, 2008 6:11 PM
I guess it was a bad time to convert the garage into a family room.
Posted by: Keithy G | January 27, 2008 10:50 PM
This is so untrue to the original Greek version.
Posted by: Julia Trimmer | January 27, 2008 10:58 PM
Does this sweater make me look fat?
Posted by: B&W Glidewell | January 27, 2008 11:13 PM
The greedier the kids get, the lazier Santa gets!
Posted by: Warren Alfred | January 27, 2008 11:19 PM
At least that puts an end to the door-to-door salesman cliche.
Posted by: Eileen Anne | January 27, 2008 11:27 PM
We were in a drought, but now the banks are overflowing.
Posted by: Todd Anthony | January 27, 2008 11:33 PM
"Yes, mother, I'm reading all two hundred and eleven -- make that two hundred and twelve -- captions because I'm giving away Jacob's book this week.... Oh, and would you look at that out the window."
Posted by: Ernest | January 28, 2008 12:06 AM
"If Intelligent Design was true, we'd have maybe little drops of water??"
Posted by: Dex | January 28, 2008 12:34 AM
"God help us if his book ever gets a plug from Oprah. It'll take him a month to pick the fucking winner."
Posted by: Anonymous | January 28, 2008 12:40 AM
"Is Sir Isaac Newton's face printed on every bill you ask?
He's not paying the roofer, and who knows what he looks like anyway?"
Posted by: Kosmicki | January 28, 2008 1:25 AM
"Typical rescue plan...they're encouraging us to spend....so they're dropping safes on us..."
Posted by: Greg | January 28, 2008 4:58 PM
"Jus' like in that dream, 'Fingers' .
Posted by: Sam L. | January 30, 2008 12:02 AM
Did you want fries with that?
Posted by: Marc Seger | February 4, 2008 1:37 PM
With God as my witness, I thought safes could fly...
Posted by: Christopher Browne | June 21, 2008 9:11 PM
"Looks like go-kart Mozart got his answer." —Rubrick
Rubrick, this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.
Posted by: Anonymous | July 3, 2008 11:58 AM
Several of these are MUCH funnier than the New Yorker's winner:
"And tomorrow there's a twenty-per-cent chance of anvils."
especially:
I take back what I said about the pillow-top car.
and
Looks like go-kart Mozart got his answer.
Why are these ANTI-captions?
Posted by: MM | July 3, 2008 12:08 PM