The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #117
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Winner
"Well, sir, PETA made us release the animals. OSHA made us get rid of the trapeze, ring of fire and so forth. The health department closed down the concessions because of trans-fats. The carney workers went on strike. I'm afraid this is all that's left. But, you know, 'step right up!' and all that." —JohnnyB
Finalists
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been, apparently, a really long time since my last confession." —Kevin Guilfoile
"Virtual reality is amazing. If it weren't for this incongruous circus ring, I'd swear we really were sitting in a large room sipping wine, instead of chained to a wall and being mechanically masturbated every four hours in a nightmarish post-apocalyptic future." —Walt
Honorable Mention
(INTERACTIVE CAPTION)
"Well, if we do hire you to run ______________, how will you go about restoring dignity and integrity to our organization?
_the Dept. of Justice
_FEMA
_the FDA
_the Knicks" —Anonymous
“Funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me?...Other than the circus ring in my living room, I mean." —al in la
"It defies your expectation of what would be in the living room of an average suburban home, doesn't it? Well, that's what I am all about -- defying people's expectations. That and taming lions." —Ed C
"A couple of midgets? How could I mind?" —therblig
Comments
Ever since Clifford died, we decided to just start living in his food bowl.
Posted by: Jason Olshefsky | October 8, 2007 9:50 AM
“This circus ring really highlights how dull we are.”
“That’s what I like best about this place. The circus ring. And of course the closets. Look at all the closets!”
“We found it at the curb, actually. Can you believe someone was going to throw this out?”
Posted by: Deborah | October 8, 2007 9:55 AM
This firm is very pet friendy...VERY, very pet friendly...
Posted by: simsburybear | October 8, 2007 9:58 AM
Welcome to Thunderparlor, Mr. Blaster. Remember, two men enter; one man leaves. But first: More Chardonnay?
Posted by: kejo | October 8, 2007 10:00 AM
Of course we expect our personnel to be housebroken from the very start. We like our new people to hit the ground running - at the same time watching out for those little lumps in the sand, of course...any questions?
Posted by: simsburybear | October 8, 2007 10:03 AM
It's a nice place, but when I posted that personal ad, "SWM Seeking Big Top," this is hardly what I had in mind!
Posted by: kejo | October 8, 2007 10:04 AM
"Let's talk some more about your fear of circuses. This should really be intense. 'in tents', get it."
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 8, 2007 10:11 AM
"...and I am Lord of the Ring."
"When we built our house on sacred Native-American circus lands, we had to make a few concessions.
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 8, 2007 10:18 AM
"For fuck's sake, Mick Stevens! Buy a ruler!"
Posted by: J | October 8, 2007 10:27 AM
"Is one side bigger than than the other... or is it just your imagination? (*waves hands around*)
Posted by: Brian L | October 8, 2007 10:34 AM
"Well, sir, PETA made us release the animals. OSHA made us get rid of the trapeze, ring of fire and so forth. The health department closed down the concessions because of trans-fats. The carney workers went on strike. I'm afraid this is all that's left. But, you know, 'step right up!' and all that."
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 8, 2007 10:49 AM
"Just let me know when I can put my entire head in your mouth."
Posted by: N-R-2 | October 8, 2007 10:49 AM
"It's from an ancient carnie tomb. My grandfather brought it back from a hunting trip to Orlando."
"It was Joan Collins' bed. Hi-Oh! What? Too soon?"
"Sure I've made my many millions but at heart I'm still the same simple guy who greenlighted 'Ernest Scared Stupid.'"
"No, I don't really care for the circus. Why?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | October 8, 2007 10:53 AM
"I know, it's kind of boring now, but once this thing starts spinning, hold onto your seat! ...I mean, literally, do so, or else you'll wind up splattered against the wall."
Posted by: Vance | October 8, 2007 11:01 AM
"I'm just holding on to the 50-foot woman's headband until she gets back from ransacking Detroit."
"As you know, Tom, we psychiatrists rarely do house calls. But your Wonder Woman obsession has really started to concern me."
"So, hey, how did you get this thing in here anyway?"
"I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here."
Posted by: gary | October 8, 2007 11:08 AM
"Damn, I should have known when that big friendly giant offered me 'Halo, Free,' that it wasn't just a speech impediment."
Posted by: Vance | October 8, 2007 11:08 AM
"By the way, tell Ms. Evrolet she left her IUD here again."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | October 8, 2007 11:09 AM
"Damn it, Gary!"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | October 8, 2007 11:10 AM
" I saw it as an opportunity to run away with the circus and still be near everything."
Posted by: N-R-2 | October 8, 2007 11:12 AM
"Now do you understand how people can keep large animals in city apartments?"
Posted by: N-R-2 | October 8, 2007 11:16 AM
"Listen, there's a ton of shit in the bathroom. I hope you don't mind."
Posted by: N-R-2 | October 8, 2007 11:20 AM
It's from the Ikea "Jank" series.
Posted by: LK | October 8, 2007 11:30 AM
"So, we thought we'd drain the pool."
Posted by: Tim H | October 8, 2007 11:35 AM
Veni vidi panem et circenses-o-leevio!
[Beating Chris to the punch]
Posted by: kejo | October 8, 2007 12:12 PM
So, I see you've gotten rid of the papier-mache elephants. I'll help you haul the ring to the dumpster this weekend. I warned you, putting "anyone but Hildi" on your Trading Spaces application was just daring them.
Posted by: Walt | October 8, 2007 12:23 PM
"Now we just have to figure out how to get food, since our whimsical circus ring blocks all the doors."
Posted by: Dan McCoy | October 8, 2007 12:25 PM
"Check out how high the ceilings are!"
Posted by: Dan McCoy | October 8, 2007 12:26 PM
I thought, Why have a family room when I could have a family circus? You know, like that cartoon? With Billy, Dolly, and Jeffy? Not to mention, "Not Me"! Everyone loves that cartoon! And their dog, Barfy? Like, what did he do, barf all the time? Might as well name him, "Pukey"!
Posted by: kejo | October 8, 2007 12:31 PM
Virtual reality is amazing. If it weren't for this incongruous circus ring, I'd swear we really were sitting in a large room sipping wine, instead of chained to a wall and being mechanically masturbated every four hours in a nightmarish post-apocalyptic future.
Posted by: Walt | October 8, 2007 12:35 PM
"I'm trying to think of something clever to say before your gruesome death, but I'm drawing a blank. Anyway, I'm leaving now, and the lions will be here shortly."
Posted by: John Tabin | October 8, 2007 12:35 PM
"It all started in 4th grade, Carstairs, when I was anointed the class clown."
Posted by: dwilk | October 8, 2007 12:37 PM
"You expected three? For you, one will do."
"You may wonder why you're here, well I hear you can whip an elephant like nobody's business."
"I had Wentworth construct this in order to illustrate the circus of life for which you are about to enter, son."
Posted by: zenveg | October 8, 2007 1:00 PM
"I ring, you ring, we all ring for ice ring"
Posted by: Matt | October 8, 2007 1:02 PM
Well, I really should be posting the winner and finalists for last week's hilarious "Anti-Caption Contest"! You know, the one with the single-eyed Gahan Wilson aliens in the cartoon editor's office? But, here at "Le Cirque du Radosh," I could sit forever, sipping zinfandel and discussing battle strategy for Halo 3. Pour me another glassful, would you, Guilfoile? We may be be here all day!
Posted by: kejo | October 8, 2007 1:08 PM
"Well, this should cut down a bit on folks pissing in the corner."
Posted by: Kathy H | October 8, 2007 1:37 PM
"Yes, I did promise the people bread and circuses. Go fetch me some marble rye."
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 8, 2007 1:45 PM
"I'm sad to say that I am not in a position to lower your insurance premiums. In fact, the tragic accident that took the lives of fourteen members of your family will actually result in a net increase in your overall costs. We do have to consider our risks, Mr. Wallenda."
Posted by: mypalmike | October 8, 2007 1:57 PM
"Look, I'm not going to say anything at all unless I get a chance to win a goddamn book at least."
Posted by: RichM | October 8, 2007 2:33 PM
"I like to think of myself as a lion-tamer."
Posted by: Ed C | October 8, 2007 2:43 PM
"It defies your expectation of what would be in the living room of an average suburban home, doesn't it? Well, that's what I am all about -- defying people's expectations. That and taming lions."
Posted by: Ed C | October 8, 2007 2:49 PM
"You paid an interior decorator for this? Are you fucking kidding me?"
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 8, 2007 2:51 PM
"After my wife and daughters were raped and mutilated I could never achieve closure. But then my gay lover got me on to enclosure, and now I'm happy as a lark!"
Posted by: dwilk | October 8, 2007 3:02 PM
"My blind cat could never find the old litterbox. Now it rarely misses."
Posted by: mypalmike | October 8, 2007 3:17 PM
Pagliacci, you crazy bastard! How are you?
Posted by: The Confidence Man | October 8, 2007 3:18 PM
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been, apparently, a really long time since my last confession."
Posted by: Kevin Guilfoile | October 8, 2007 3:30 PM
"Since the kids left for college the house has been downgraded to a one-ring circus. My wife is still fucking the mailman."
Posted by: MAtt | October 8, 2007 3:38 PM
"One day, I just got tired of not having a circus ring in the middle of my house."
Posted by: Ed C | October 8, 2007 3:39 PM
"Who the fuck are you to judge me?"
Posted by: Ed C | October 8, 2007 3:47 PM
"For a moment there, I thought that we were perhaps supposed to be homosexuals. But then I noticed we have hideously mismatched lamps, so that's out."
Posted by: Vance | October 8, 2007 4:00 PM
Well, I just love the authentic Siberian tiger shit. But you know...the stars are a bit much. [nb: Italics used to indicate swooshiness.]
Posted by: Half Empty | October 8, 2007 4:05 PM
"Thanks for the lemonade, Mr. Gacy. So, you say there is something you want to show me in the crawl space?"
Posted by: MAtt | October 8, 2007 4:11 PM
The hardwood floors were in such bad shape I had them ground into sawdust.
Does the chablis still burn when you swallow Siegfried?
That big tent you're sporting completes the theme.
Posted by: Amy | October 8, 2007 4:20 PM
"It's my ring of fire, Henderson..., and you're fired."
Posted by: dwilk | October 8, 2007 4:39 PM
I started seeing patients in a big circle of stars about 6 months ago. I really think it's helping. You're a star, I'm a star, we're surrounded by stars. We're sitting in a metaphor. Get it?
Posted by: ecm | October 8, 2007 4:42 PM
Not the "Big Top" I expected from your online ad, BoneDaddy46.
Marriage is about meeting each other half way. I agreed to the remodel and Simba agreed to hold her breath whilst her trunk is up my ass.
Two feet of sawdust works magic with the elephant urine. You should try it.
Agreed, it's hard to keep the place clean since the lions took one of the domestic servants, but she was an illegal immigrant and those don't grow on trees, Jenkins.
After Joanne accidentally handled one of my Propecia tablets and grew a coarse, thick beard, it was the least I could do.
Posted by: Ernest | October 8, 2007 5:07 PM
"'Clowns Anonymous' allows me to hold on to one vestige of my former life."
Posted by: MAtt | October 8, 2007 5:09 PM
(INTERACTIVE CAPTION)
"Well, if we do hire you to run ______________, how will you go about restoring dignity and integrity to our organization?
_the Dept. of Justice
_FEMA
_the FDA
_the Knicks
Posted by: Anonymous | October 8, 2007 5:10 PM
"I had it installed after reading the self-help book, 'How Big is Your Sandbox?' Hey, let's go outside and check out my parachute. It's green."
Posted by: mypalmike | October 8, 2007 5:51 PM
"This is the last time I accept box seats from Michael Vick"
Posted by: Dashiell | October 8, 2007 6:42 PM
"I couldn't help but notice... You don't have a television in your home."
Posted by: Johnny V | October 8, 2007 6:53 PM
"Well, I think it MAY come in handy!"
Posted by: Greg | October 8, 2007 7:07 PM
"This used to be John Updike's house."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 7:56 PM
"I can't wait for you to meet my wife Mesmerelda."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 7:57 PM
"We love entertaining at home."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 7:59 PM
"This used to be John Irving's house."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 8:04 PM
"Irving, Updike, you think New Yorker readers know the difference?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 8:04 PM
One Ring Circus
Henry Clay Bradford - 2006
Wood and Mixed Media Sculpture
San Francisco Museum of Modern Art
Posted by: mypalmike | October 8, 2007 8:08 PM
"My favorite thing about your place is being able to shit right on the floor."
"It's my wife's idea- she told me to perform in here since I can't do it in the bedroom."
Posted by: LV | October 8, 2007 8:22 PM
Sure it looks cool, but it's a real bitch to vacuum.
Posted by: David | October 8, 2007 8:35 PM
"Who would have thought that room this big would only have three power outlets."
Posted by: David | October 8, 2007 8:39 PM
"On our honeymoon we went to one of those 'woman fucks a horse" sex shows. My wife was so impressed that she made me build a ring in the house"
Posted by: David | October 8, 2007 8:43 PM
"It's not as much fun as we thought it would be."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 9:14 PM
"You should see the setup we have in the bedroom."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 9:15 PM
"Thank you doctor, I think you've cured my clown phobia."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 9:17 PM
"Once you've lived with this much elephant shit, farting in front of eachother gets a lot easier."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 9:20 PM
"No, realy, I want you to pull my finger."
Posted by: GilbertBob | October 8, 2007 9:21 PM
"Damn it! I left the tiger at work, chained on top of the filing cabinet, AGAIN!"
Posted by: Richard | October 8, 2007 9:27 PM
"Veni vidi one-ring-o-leevio!"
[See, kejo, that's how you do un-funny:-)]
"..and then we shouted 'Move...that...bus!' and then I guess you saw the reply where I kicked ol' spikey-hair in the nuts when I saw the maintenance nightmare he built for me."
Posted by: Chris | October 8, 2007 10:00 PM
I meant "..saw the replay..."
Posted by: Chris | October 8, 2007 10:01 PM
Gulliver's a great roommate, even though he leaves his cock rings just about everywhere.
Posted by: LOD | October 9, 2007 1:07 AM
Give me a siamese twin over a bearded lady any day - all the pussy and twice the head.
Posted by: Anonymous | October 9, 2007 1:28 AM
"I feel like soup."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | October 9, 2007 5:22 AM
"Well, you know 'The Family Circus' is widely derided among serious cartoonists; so I work in here - it keeps me honest."
Posted by: stcoleridge | October 9, 2007 10:00 AM
'We love entertaining at home' must be removed from this list and submitted as an actual caption.
Posted by: stcoleridge | October 9, 2007 10:15 AM
"It's in case the levees fail again."
Posted by: stcoleridge | October 9, 2007 10:21 AM
"I say, Sean Preston, at first I was mad when Daddy locked us in here and forgot about us all these years ago, but I have to admit, it's really quite cozy."
Posted by: Ellie | October 9, 2007 10:24 AM
"Pretty soon we won't even bother to wash out the pentagram and put away the implements."
Posted by: A Silly Mus Musculus | October 9, 2007 10:40 AM
"Well, we're safe for now. Man, the way you smashed Brainy's siege engine with that lamp... I've never seen so many angry little blue faces. But they'll be back. What the hell did you do?"
Posted by: A Silly Mus Musculus | October 9, 2007 11:00 AM
"This way I get to make a funny 'elephant in the room' joke before I tell people I have terminal cancer."
Posted by: A Silly Mus Musculus | October 9, 2007 11:18 AM
"This house is a circus, berserk as fuck."
"The other two rings are located throughout the house. Can you find them in under 60 seconds? Go!"
"Let's have a lamp fight."
"You're probably wondering why we payed an extra 8 million dollars knocking out the five apartments above us to get 50 foot ceilings. Well, fuck you."
Posted by: Harry | October 9, 2007 12:06 PM
Ceiling? Walls? No, you misunderstand. The T- or Y-shaped lines above my head indicate a speech balloon. What am I saying? Why, "Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results," of course.
Posted by: kejo | October 9, 2007 12:23 PM
"I got this ring cheap at an auction following Night of 11 Stars."
Posted by: Tim H | October 9, 2007 12:51 PM
"So, Mr. Torre, may I take a gander at that résumé again?"
Posted by: Tim H | October 9, 2007 12:56 PM
"Good question. The reason we let GilbertBob post twice as many entries than we usually allow is that he obviously is a Siamese twin or a clone or something."
Posted by: Kathy H | October 9, 2007 1:00 PM
"...the One Ring to rule them all."
Posted by: Dr. Flute | October 9, 2007 1:06 PM
"This is quite a safety net you've got for yourself here."
Posted by: Francis | October 9, 2007 1:12 PM
When Mr. Coors met Mr. Miller.
Posted by: Kathy H | October 9, 2007 1:16 PM
"You know Bobo, old chum, I've long maintained that if we clowns DID in fact run the circus, it would be far more civilized and less--oh how shall I put it--'clownish.'"
Posted by: al in la | October 9, 2007 1:33 PM
"Wait till you see the rec room!"
Posted by: stcoleridge | October 9, 2007 1:48 PM
A couple of midgets? How could I mind?
Posted by: therblig | October 9, 2007 1:52 PM
"This room was Ty Pennington's special project. Of course, he was on the ganja at the time."
Posted by: Kathy H | October 9, 2007 1:52 PM
It's because my wife is a freak in the sack. And by "freak", I mean she has no arms or legs, but seal flippers. And by "sack", I mean that wriggling bag behind your chair. Still, she should have gotten that lock open by now.
Posted by: therblig | October 9, 2007 2:09 PM
"Frankly, I missed the circus atmosphere of my days in the Senate."
Posted by: jim M | October 9, 2007 2:15 PM
Aren't we rich?
Aren't we queer?
Losing our timing this late
In our career?
And where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother - we're here.
Posted by: jim M | October 9, 2007 2:23 PM
"Yes, I think it sets off your collection of John Wayne Gacy death row clown paintings beautifully."
Posted by: jim M | October 9, 2007 2:28 PM
Siegfried with his new lover, Rex.
Posted by: jim M | October 9, 2007 3:01 PM
"If it weren't for this giant dog bowl, you'd feel completely overwhelmed by the scale of this room. Trust me."
Posted by: Michael in la | October 9, 2007 3:07 PM
"Lady or the tiger, eh? Might there be a third choice?"
Posted by: jim M | October 9, 2007 3:36 PM
"I regret quitting my home schooling to join the home circus."
Posted by: LR | October 9, 2007 3:37 PM
"And then there was the night the three mice came out of their doors and the elephant came out of his door at the same time! Mayhem ensued, I can tell you!
Posted by: jim M | October 9, 2007 3:41 PM
"The real estate broker called it Maximus, but I think of it more as Minimus."
Posted by: Tim H | October 9, 2007 3:42 PM
"Cockfighting is more fun without the birds, eh Bruce?"
Posted by: LR | October 9, 2007 4:04 PM
"I was with Clyde Beatty-Cole Bros. for 15 years. Great times. I still like to keep my skills up, so when I found this place dirt-cheap-- it used to be a church, actually-- I couldn't resist. I had the ring put in for equestrian stuff; I have two palominos. To be honest, though it's kind of a pain to move the furniture, so I don't really use it as often as I'd like."
"Some people see it as a circus ring; some see it as a dog dish. It's like that old woman/young woman illusion, or the duck/rabbit thing."
Posted by: Rubrick | October 9, 2007 4:17 PM
Welcome to the Inner Sanctum, Mr. Cruise. Now that you're a trusted acolyte, I can tell you the Deep Secret: L. Ron Hubbard is still . . . no, on second thought I'll need another million dollars.
Posted by: Arthur | October 9, 2007 4:52 PM
Insert another comma after "though" in the Clyde Beatty caption.
Posted by: Rubrick | October 9, 2007 4:53 PM
"On a cool autumn evening like this, I find nothing more relaxing than a soft lamp, a good book, a fine wine, and a madly spinning Tilt-a-Whirl."
Posted by: Stevo Darkly | October 9, 2007 6:24 PM
As Curator of the Barnum Museum, I can tell you that it's more like every minute and a half.
Posted by: therblig | October 9, 2007 6:26 PM
"I believe I have you cornered."
"This ring really does take the attention away from the giant T behind us."
Posted by: Jeff | October 9, 2007 7:04 PM
"I tried running away with the circus, but still couldn't break the habit of taking my work home with me at night."
Posted by: znufrii | October 9, 2007 7:20 PM
"This? It's the set for a new TV show coming to FOX. As soon as they heard ABC was doing a celebrity staring contest called 'Staring at the Stars' they got me working on 'America Idle.'"
Posted by: al in la | October 9, 2007 7:34 PM
The golden showers here are obscene. I mean, do you realize how much urine an elephant's bladder can hold?
Posted by: kejo | October 9, 2007 7:59 PM
"So then she sez, sez Prissy, youse either 'job' that ceiling or 'fob' that giraffe !"
Posted by: Sam Labouisse | October 9, 2007 9:24 PM
"How about I throw on 'Hanna Montana' and you watch me rub one out?"
Posted by: MAtt | October 9, 2007 9:37 PM
"You won't get such quintessential 'earthiness' into these cheap 'domestics' any other way."
Posted by: Sam Labouisse | October 9, 2007 9:37 PM
"Welcome to Cirque du SoGay!"
Posted by: BA | October 9, 2007 10:44 PM
"I'm sorry Henry, this isn't Circus Circus in Vegas. Your cheapskate wife put you on the dementia floor of a nursing home in Sarasota, FL., which used to be the winter quarters of the Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Circus!"
Posted by: jeena | October 10, 2007 12:36 AM
“Funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me?...Other than the circus ring in my living room, I mean."
Posted by: al in la | October 10, 2007 3:57 AM
So have you seen "Cavemen" yet? I think it's a "grower," but unfortunately nowadays, new series get axed before they even get a chance.
Posted by: Optimus Sub-Prime | October 10, 2007 5:36 AM
"Things will really get rolling once Michael Vick arrives."
Posted by: Ralph | October 10, 2007 11:17 AM
"So, how's the new Arthur Schlesinger book?"
Posted by: gray nixon | October 10, 2007 11:48 AM
"Wait, wait, wait. You're saying that Micky Dolenz of The Monkees was the original Circus Boy?!"
Posted by: Tim H | October 10, 2007 4:31 PM
"I guess I'm kind of conventional for a circus announcer. Kind of an emcee-square."
"Can you believe they were just throwing it away? So naturally, I just had to build a house around it."
"Things do look pretty bad, but we may just survive as long as we don't keep sitting right in the center of its food dish."
"You just don't excite me anymore."
Posted by: Trout Almondine | October 11, 2007 8:37 AM
"I lose my piano and get stuck with this eyesore- that's the last time I book Mark Russell."
"I'm from Acme Electrical. Which room has the bad circuits?"
Posted by: LV | October 11, 2007 11:44 AM
" I'm having the big glass dome installed on Wednesday. By then all the clowns, acrobats and animals will be here. The whole thing will be filled with water and styrofoam flakes. It'll be one perfect Circus Winter Wonderland snowglobe! Maybe if you're not doing anything that night you'd like to be part of it."
Posted by: BA | October 11, 2007 1:12 PM
"Tell me: Have you ever seen a chimp in a tuxedo ride a unicycle while smoking a cigarette?"
Posted by: al in la | October 11, 2007 3:20 PM
"You think this is cozy, wait until I bring out the big cats and have them rest at your feet."
Posted by: Michael in LA | October 11, 2007 4:05 PM
My wife put this here as a joke about my weight. She laughed herself silly until I fed her to the lion. That was a fucking show.
Posted by: Charles | October 11, 2007 5:54 PM
"So I say to the contractor: 'I don't care. No more excuses- just get it done!' And, well...there you have it. It's actually kind of grown on me."
Posted by: Michael in LA | October 11, 2007 7:19 PM
Got it. Rich. Queer. And we're a pair. What am I missing?
Posted by: Lee | October 11, 2007 11:13 PM
One of us.
One of us.
One of us.
Posted by: Lee | October 11, 2007 11:16 PM
LV - the Mark Russell reference is funny and somewhat obscure - perfect for a real NYer cartoon.
al in la - the chimp on the unicycle is a great anti-caption.
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 12, 2007 7:58 AM
Or to go right to the source: "Mr. Keane will be with you shortly"
Posted by: stcoleridge | October 12, 2007 2:35 PM
Re: October 9, 2007 10:15 AM - ... and/or, add "Why just the other night we had over Victor Mature, Red Buttons, Rhonda Fleming, Kathryn Grant, Vincent Price, Gilbert Roland, Peter Lorre, David Nelson, Adele Mara, Howard McNear, Charles Watts, and Steve Allen. Steve didn't stay long."
Posted by: stcoleridge | October 12, 2007 2:58 PM
Is it safe?
Posted by: Peter | October 12, 2007 3:35 PM
"Peace Prize, Schmeace Prize. Give me a nice one-ring living room and I'm good to go."
Posted by: Kathy H | October 12, 2007 4:43 PM
"The carpet here is ob...long"
Posted by: Johnny V | October 12, 2007 5:38 PM
This is my favorite part. Right up until the giant mouse returns.
Posted by: Louie | October 12, 2007 7:01 PM
"So, Rosenberg, are you ready for a little, 'Ring around the rosy, rocketful of pussy?'"
Posted by: dwilk | October 12, 2007 8:00 PM
"Will you perform without your wife?"
"No, I need Annette."
Posted by: Dex | October 12, 2007 10:50 PM
"I don't know why she decided to hide her stolen dog-dish-or-circus-ring in my living room. All I know is, I'm turning in my mother."
Posted by: Vance | October 13, 2007 1:38 AM
...a member of the family Felidae and one of four "big cats" in the genus Panthera..NOW GARFLIED NOW!
Posted by: reid savid | October 13, 2007 1:50 AM
Yes, I know it's a harmless dog bowl...nothing frightning like the giant 'handguns' our primitive ancestors lived in"
Posted by: Johnny V | October 13, 2007 7:13 AM
Bil Keane: Behind the Panels [props to stcoleridge]
"Don't worry about all those people watching us with their computers. This isn't 2001: A Space Odyssey, and nobody can see our lips moving anyway."
Posted by: David F | October 13, 2007 10:25 AM
It's kind of a long story. See, she said I was acting like a clown. So I thought I'd do this whole elaborate clown thing to make my point. But it turns out I'm allergic to greasepaint. So I went the lion tamer route instead. And from there it kind of got out of control. Next thing you know she has hair transplants in her face and I'm taking out a second mortgage to buy a fucking zebra... Anyway, more Chardonnay?
Posted by: Ben | October 13, 2007 11:52 AM
"The candy gets them here, but it's the circus ring that keeps them coming back."
Posted by: Anonymous | October 13, 2007 2:17 PM
"You'd be amazed how far one can shoot his cum with a little contextual motivation."
Posted by: Michael in LA | October 13, 2007 11:36 PM
"As a matter of fact I DO smell elephant shit."
Posted by: al in la | October 14, 2007 12:36 AM
"There were 3 rings all together, but I hung up after the first one."
Posted by: dwilk | October 14, 2007 7:52 AM
"It was my dream to provide a permanant residence for my friends, so they needn't live in tents forever. But circus people are nomads and they moved on."
"Hear me out Bailey. This is just a prototype. I picture three of them, with large, sad animals being abused, and foreign people in tights doing acrobatics and silly men in strange makeup exiting tiny cars. We'll travel from town to town and the suckers will line up to buy tickets."
Posted by: JohnnyB | October 14, 2007 9:31 AM
We took a crowbar to the top of the UFO, painted stars on the side, tilted it slightly and voila, we end up in Architectural Digest.
Posted by: klh | October 14, 2007 10:36 AM
"......and you really must see his leash!..."
Posted by: Greg | October 14, 2007 10:48 AM