The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #111
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Winner
"Hi. I'm a door-to-door rapist. Ha ha-- just kidding! I'm not going door-to-door. I'm targeting you specifically." —Dan McCoy
Finalists
"Surpri!...What the...I'm sorry. I seem to have the wrong house. You wouldn't happen to know where there's a children's birthday party around here?" —Owen
"You said you were 14. You don't look 14...And what are these cameras doing here?" —al in la
Honorable mention
"Guess which kindergarten teacher got fired today." —GilbertBob
"Turns out no one thinks Mark Foley jokes are funny anymore." —therblig
"I really lost my shirt in the market today -- and I lost my pants at Stop & Shop." —gary
"Mistress Kendra, your slave has arrived. Did I do it right that time?" —kejo
"You count the money. I'll untie the kid." —dwilk
"Did you know there was a Bonobo exhibit in the park?" —jake
"Look, I bought a briefcase to hide my cock." —Alan
"They told me drinking coffee makes you grow hair on your chest... true enough, but they forgot to mention that it also causes you to take off all your clothes and barge into a stranger's house with a briefcase full of S&M equipment." —Jacob C
She considered saying something...but thought the better of it and slowly turned back to her book. Have nice fucking day she thought, really, HAVE A NICE DAY.... —simsburybear
"Well I just had it out with the boss."(laughter) [script consultant note: I suggest sticking with the "classic" setup for that punchline, with the man clothed, zipping up his fly, exiting an office bathroom. While this is a nice absurdist twist on it, the gag itself is probably unfamiliar to enough of the young demo that it'll work fine the straight way. Also, since this beat falls midway through Act I, we should really build gradually toward -- or "earn," if you will -- the surrealistic payoff of Act III.] —B'nai tha K
"The hours there aren't the only things that are obscene. In addition, everyone exposes their genitals." —Eric
Comments
Mistress Kendra, your slave has arrived. Did I do it right that time?
Honey, I'm homo!
I expected this "pocket pussy" to be a little more, I don't know, biomorphic.
Good afternoon, ma'am. Can I interest you in a copy of "The Watchtower"?
Posted by: kejo | August 20, 2007 9:30 AM
"I thought I'd grow some chest hair at work. How do you like it?"
Posted by: Anonymous | August 20, 2007 9:37 AM
"How many times have I told you never to leave this door unlocked?!"
Posted by: Tim H | August 20, 2007 9:38 AM
"You put your left foot in, and you shake it all about. You do the ho..., aw screw this! What's for dinner?"
Posted by: dwilk | August 20, 2007 9:50 AM
"Hi. Any news from that dry cleaner yet?"
Posted by: Deborah | August 20, 2007 9:52 AM
God I love powerpoint!
Posted by: simsburybear | August 20, 2007 9:52 AM
What a day! First, the train was 20 minutes late. Then when I got in, my computer crashed. It took IT three hours to fix it! After that, the guys in Accounts Payable stripped and sodomized me -- they didn't even use any lube! Finally, I got a paper cut between my thumb and forefinger. You know that webby part? I hate paper cuts!
Posted by: kejo | August 20, 2007 9:54 AM
"Hey, hon, I'm home. Say, have we always had that credenza just out of frame?"
"Gosh, another rough day as the leader of the free world, Laura. I tell ya, some days the dumptrucks full of dirty blood money don't even seem worth it."
"You know I'm beginning to think Magritte doesn't actually need me to pose in the nude."
"Naked Nixon-o-Gram! Naked Nixon-o-Gram for Laura Bush!"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | August 20, 2007 9:57 AM
"White socks, black shoes -- that's why they sent me home."
Posted by: abe | August 20, 2007 9:57 AM
"Then the Emperor says, "And use the leftover magic cloth to make a uniform for yourself. I insist."
Posted by: Richard | August 20, 2007 9:58 AM
"Well, it seems the "Come to Work Naked Day" memo was a hoax."
"Here, you left this in the bathroom again. I'm going to get my shower now."
Posted by: Deborah | August 20, 2007 10:07 AM
Where'd you put my belly button lint collection? I've got a good one!
Posted by: Leila | August 20, 2007 10:12 AM
"I really lost my shirt in the market today -- and I lost my pants at Stop & Shop."
"I told you all the guys would make fun of me if I wore white socks with black shoes!"
"Whatcha reading?"
"Yes, I am having an affair. How did you ever figure it out?"
"Well, yes, it is a briefcase, but I am also happy to see you."
Posted by: gary | August 20, 2007 10:13 AM
Don't be scared by the floating briefcase and empty footwear...I'm invisible!
Posted by: therblig | August 20, 2007 10:17 AM
"Now do you believe I can pick locks with my penis?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:18 AM
"Why don't you just skip ahead and tell me -- does Harry Potter get killed or not?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:22 AM
"Well it turns out that the nude portrait class I enrolled in only applied to the model."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:25 AM
"Well that was the strangest subway ride I've ever experienced."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:28 AM
"I wish they would define 'Casual Friday' a little more clearly."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:29 AM
"Why do you always look at me like that when I come back from the company sales convention?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:30 AM
"Finally they're getting serious about aiport security."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:34 AM
"We should really do something with this gaping empty space between the door and your chair."
Posted by: Dan McCoy | August 20, 2007 10:35 AM
"It turns out I'm not the biggest dick in the office after all."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:35 AM
"Hi. I'm a door-to-door rapist. Ha ha-- just kidding! I'm not going door-to-door. I'm targeting you specifically."
Posted by: Dan McCoy | August 20, 2007 10:37 AM
"What? You don't even notice I've had a haircut?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:38 AM
"I think the interview went very well."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 10:40 AM
"Don't worry, someone already debriefed me."
Posted by: Tiberius | August 20, 2007 10:44 AM
Well honey, I did it. I ditched the corporate grind and joined a naked barbershop quartet. We call ourselves "The Four Skins", which is ironic because we're all circumcised. Now, where's that red and white body paint?
My thong has ended, but milady lingers on.
Posted by: therblig | August 20, 2007 10:46 AM
Listen Pat, I'm in kind of a rush with the Inagural Address about half an our from now. I hope I didn't forget anything.
Posted by: klh | August 20, 2007 10:59 AM
It's French Riviera Day at the office.
Posted by: klh | August 20, 2007 11:05 AM
"Honey, have you seen my penis?"
"What happened to all our pictures on the wall?"
"Everyone had a laugh on me today: it's casual Friday and I wore dress shoes!"
"There was a fire in the subway and all my clothes burned. Some people died."
"Tell me again; which one's the door and which one's my briefcase?"
Posted by: JohnnyB | August 20, 2007 11:12 AM
"Did Gregory come to finish shading the apartment? Oh, I guess not."
Posted by: Joshua | August 20, 2007 11:42 AM
"I just had the strangest dream."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 11:46 AM
"Handcuffs... whipped cream... is that all you need or should I be making a list?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 11:47 AM
"If someone called Max or Tony or Alberto or Sven or Wolfgang calls, tell him I'm not home."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 11:49 AM
"Oh shit. I thought you were planning a surprise party for me."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 11:51 AM
"Hi, I'm naked."
Posted by: John Tabin | August 20, 2007 11:51 AM
"Good news. The doctor told me I can start wearing clothes again."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 11:52 AM
"Y'know, I really like the clothes their wear on that Mad Men show."
Posted by: Tim H | August 20, 2007 11:53 AM
"Remind me to wear underwear the next time I get an unlicensed taxi from the airport."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 11:55 AM
"Well, I flunked the America's Got Talent audition again."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 11:56 AM
"You count the money. I'll untie the kid."
Posted by: dwilk | August 20, 2007 11:57 AM
"I see you've gone ahead and had the entire living room upholstered in plastic. Good timing."
Posted by: Tim H | August 20, 2007 12:01 PM
"I would have been home hours ago. Except for the fact I got arrested again."
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 12:02 PM
"Y'know, hon, I just realized that we can live our entire lives, not only two-dimensionally and monochromatically, but also devoid of any written words, whatsoever."
Posted by: Tim H | August 20, 2007 12:08 PM
"Hoooneeey! I got my dick caught in my briefcase agaaaain..."
Posted by: The Mullet | August 20, 2007 12:17 PM
"Okay, honestly now...does this briefcase go well with my pubes?"
Posted by: The Mullet | August 20, 2007 12:21 PM
"It was those pranksters again -- Hal and Frank -- at the gym. This time they superglued my cock to my briefcase."
Posted by: The Mullet | August 20, 2007 12:24 PM
"Oh, darn. Did he jump right into the shower?... Oh well, your hubby left his briefcase of joy toys in my Fanny Fun Room. Could you make sure he gets it? Thanks much, sweetie."
Posted by: The Mullet | August 20, 2007 12:33 PM
"Don't get too comfortable. They're coming for the couch next."
Posted by: The Mullet | August 20, 2007 12:37 PM
"Time to judge this week's New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest entries!"
Posted by: J | August 20, 2007 12:45 PM
"Honey, I reinvented myself."
Posted by: dwilk | August 20, 2007 12:52 PM
"I hate job interviews, but I gotta say I felt good about that one."
Posted by: Ed C | August 20, 2007 1:00 PM
What's that you're reading? How to Play Backgammon with a Naked John McEnroe? Well, what a coincidence! I've got my backgammon board right here!
Posted by: kejo | August 20, 2007 1:01 PM
I hadn't been to confession in years; I'd forgotten how much fun it was.
Posted by: Jimmy Beck | August 20, 2007 1:05 PM
"Halfway down the hall and I realized I forgot my keys! I swear, I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my completely nude body!"
Posted by: Ed C | August 20, 2007 1:10 PM
"Honey, we gotta get the super to turn down the AC in that hallway. I step out of the elevator and I'm suddenly hung like a fuckin' 5-year-old."
Posted by: Ed C | August 20, 2007 1:26 PM
“Have you forgotten again, Helen, that on Tuesdays I’m to walk in on a sex starved and unclothed wife achieving climax with the aid of a cucumber?”
Posted by: dwilk | August 20, 2007 1:31 PM
"First it was on that plane where I was naked, now here at home. Seems like everywhere I show up naked it some kind of big deal."
"Honey, you wouldn't believe the cramp in my wrist from holding my briefcase like this all day."
"The penis here is obscene."
Posted by: Vance | August 20, 2007 1:36 PM
"Hey, sweetheart. You would not believe the traffic! I need a drink. I've had the worst headache and erection all day."
Posted by: Ed C | August 20, 2007 1:47 PM
On the internet, no one knows you're a nudist. But on the subway, they know. Oh yes, they know all right.
Posted by: kejo | August 20, 2007 1:53 PM
It gets worse. It was also Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.
Posted by: Benjamin Steele | August 20, 2007 2:39 PM
"Guess which kindergarten teacher got fired today?"
Posted by: GilbertBob | August 20, 2007 3:05 PM
Turns out no one thinks Mark Foley jokes are funny anymore.
Posted by: therblig | August 20, 2007 3:32 PM
"How ironic... You're reading 'Naked Lunch' and I'm a talking asshole."
"Fine, I'll be back later, wearing a shirt. But as a prostitute, you might want to reconsider your 'No shirt, No shoes, No service' policy."
"Could I borrow some butter?"
Posted by: mypalmike | August 20, 2007 3:49 PM
The showers here are obscene.
Horny, I'm HOME!
Where are my briefs?
Posted by: Amy Sherman | August 20, 2007 3:51 PM
"Wow, what a day...I feel like I was RAPED. But only metaphorically. I gave my clothes to a homeless man sitting outside our building."
Posted by: Dave | August 20, 2007 4:01 PM
Stay in the kitchen until I talk to your mother. Daddy had a bad day.
Posted by: Charles | August 20, 2007 4:24 PM
Surpri!...What the...I'm sorry. I seem to have the wrong house. You wouldn't happen to know where there's a children's birthday party around here?
Posted by: Owen | August 20, 2007 5:04 PM
"Is it 4 hours already with this erection? I better call my doctor."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 20, 2007 5:34 PM
Embarrassed? Only after I realized I forgot to shave my legs. Look at the stubble!
Posted by: 99 | August 20, 2007 5:47 PM
"The good news is, I've been appointed emperor."
Posted by: Dave | August 20, 2007 5:55 PM
"You wanted the naked truth? Well, here it is, baby -- right here in this briefcase."
Posted by: Dave | August 20, 2007 5:58 PM
"Hey, Eve, who's the broad sitting on the couch?"
Posted by: Dave | August 20, 2007 6:04 PM
She considered saying something...but thought the better of it and slowly turned back to her book. Have nice fucking day she thought, really, HAVE A NICE DAY....
Posted by: simsburybear | August 20, 2007 6:19 PM
Meet The Ski-Noses. This Fall, Fox takes reality TV into full-frontal vidiocy.
Posted by: Louie | August 20, 2007 7:38 PM
Damn it. Why didn't you tell me "Dick in a Briefcase" is a total rip of those SNL guys?
I looked like an ass, thank you very much.
Posted by: Amy | August 20, 2007 7:49 PM
The Associate Coordinator of Internal Warehousing and Inventory Management wears no clothes.
Posted by: mypalmike | August 20, 2007 8:07 PM
"I guess you could stay I stood up to that bitch I worked for"
Posted by: C@L | August 20, 2007 8:08 PM
"I had dibs on the briefcase."
"But I can't give you this case, it don't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass."
Posted by: RichM | August 20, 2007 9:20 PM
"It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
"I just wrestled a big dog for this Acme Sales sample case."
Posted by: Dex | August 21, 2007 12:52 AM
Did you know there was a Bonobo exhibit in the park?
Posted by: jake | August 21, 2007 1:05 AM
"You said you were 14. You don't look 14...And what are these cameras doing here?"
Posted by: al in la | August 21, 2007 1:52 AM
"It's not for modesty I hold this briefcase so, it is because the unimaginable non-euclidean forms of my external reproductive organ are so alien to your world and senses that they would cause you to go mad, mad like the mad arab Abdul al-Hazred who transcribed the sacred and terrifying Necronomicon, and for my unholy purposes I need you yet sane. Specifically I need you to tie my bow tie again, Mom."
Posted by: TG Gibbon, supergeek | August 21, 2007 5:13 AM
"Guess what, Hon? Little Timmy's a big boy right now. Wanna see?"
Posted by: dwilk | August 21, 2007 6:56 AM
"Are you still reading the latest selection from Oprah's book club?"
Posted by: gray | August 21, 2007 8:24 AM
"Better draw me a bath, dear- it's been another hard day down at the orifice."
Posted by: LV | August 21, 2007 8:49 AM
"Just let me set down my case and I'll slide up beside you on our new white velvet couch."
Posted by: LV | August 21, 2007 8:56 AM
"I'm the Fuller Bush man, and I have a case full of products guaranteed to give you a fuller bush!"
Posted by: jim M | August 21, 2007 9:35 AM
"I guess this means the terrorists have won."
Posted by: jim M | August 21, 2007 9:36 AM
"Honey, whenever you fall asleep reading a book, you have this dream, and it's not you who goes to work naked, it's me. Now what do you suppose that means?"
Posted by: jim M | August 21, 2007 9:45 AM
"Pat, the pollsters think the "I like Dick" campaign is such a smash, I'm taking it to the next level. Of course, if I'm wrong, you can always cover me up with your respectable Republican cloth coat."
Posted by: jim M | August 21, 2007 10:05 AM
"Happy anniversary!"
Posted by: jim M | August 21, 2007 10:23 AM
"Hmm," Susan thought to herself, "My home decorating book suggests that we get some pictures for these walls."
Posted by: Johnny SLC | August 21, 2007 10:57 AM
"How was the stock market today dear?" "Don't ask."
Posted by: so'c | August 21, 2007 11:11 AM
"I'm home and I'd rather look at the door than look at you, because I bet you're naked. Put some clothes on and I'll look at you."
Posted by: Sir Stewart | August 21, 2007 11:15 AM
I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, I can run back as fast as you can! My bum is on the knob! My bum is on the knob! Look, honey, two, I said two Tom Greene routines at once! Honey? Honey? Are you even listening to me?
Posted by: kejo | August 21, 2007 11:45 AM
"I got all the way to the bus stop before I realized I'd brought my 16-inch briefcase. Have you seen my 24-inch briefcase?"
Posted by: Joshua | August 21, 2007 12:05 PM
"I think we might have misread that article about putting some spice back into our marriage. Tomorrow, you be naked when I come home from work."
Posted by: Francis | August 21, 2007 12:52 PM
"I only have a half hour lunch today, so I got started on the way over."
Posted by: Francis | August 21, 2007 12:57 PM
"The unfortunate part about being blind is that neither of us can see if I'm naked when I leave for work. Plus, I'm fired."
Posted by: danny | August 21, 2007 1:50 PM
"The unfortunate part about both of us being blind is that neither of us can see if I'm naked when I leave for work. Also, honey, I'm starting to think I'm part of a cruel joke and that you might not be blind."
Posted by: danny | August 21, 2007 2:26 PM
"I forgot my penis sock."
Posted by: Francis | August 21, 2007 3:08 PM
"I so wanted to impress the new boss but I misunderstood- turns out he's really a Buddhist."
Posted by: LR | August 21, 2007 3:58 PM
Comment: al in la gets my "vote".
Posted by: mypalmike | August 21, 2007 7:02 PM
"Funny thing, Hon, you'd think I'd have some briefs in my briefcase."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 21, 2007 7:11 PM
"Man, I'm spacey today -- I packed my briefcase and put my shoes on before realizing that I haven't even showered yet. I'm going to leave them in the living room until I'm done."
Posted by: John Tabin | August 21, 2007 8:01 PM
"Rehearsals for the Abu Ghuraib Musical are going well, but damn! are those tap numbers tricky."
Posted by: mishael | August 21, 2007 8:43 PM
"It's my birthday.. and guess what suit I plan to wear today!"
"I misunderstood the church secretary where I was applying for a job. She said "We are looking for a BUDDIST"! You'll never guess what I thought she said."
"Hon, does this briefcase make me look gay?"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 21, 2007 9:17 PM
"Where did the TV go? Honey, the television is missing!"
"Hey, lady... my face is UP HERE!"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 21, 2007 9:18 PM
"Look, I bought a briefcase to hide my cock."
Posted by: Alan | August 21, 2007 10:06 PM
I ran into the organ grinder today. I'm afraid he's a bit too literal minded.
Posted by: therblig | August 21, 2007 10:07 PM
“Honey, I met Chris Hansen today…”
Posted by: Sociopath Quip Man | August 21, 2007 10:09 PM
The day care center threw me out again.
Posted by: Mike | August 21, 2007 10:55 PM
"I adore you, you sexy door, you."
"What in the heck!? They've gone and stripped this place bare! There's not even a flooo......"
Posted by: Vance | August 22, 2007 1:52 AM
I couldn't find the ice machine.
Posted by: LOD | August 22, 2007 10:05 AM
"I donated my clothes to a homeless person as an unselfish random act of kindness, yet the authorities and most people all too predictably see only public indecency and exhibitionism."
Posted by: LV | August 22, 2007 10:36 AM
"Yep: fashion police again..."
Posted by: Michael in LA | August 22, 2007 10:37 AM
#1, I'm not an attention whore, and #2, if I am an attention whore, it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm only three feet tall.
Posted by: Tom | August 22, 2007 1:03 PM
"Sorry. I thought this was Robert Reich's apartment given the placement of the peephole."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 22, 2007 1:19 PM
"Nope, they sure don't write novels like Naked Lunch anymore."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 22, 2007 1:44 PM
"Honey, Saturday is Kiss and Make Up Day. Let's beat the rush."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 22, 2007 1:51 PM
"Hon, which do you think is better - four of a kind or a straight?"
Posted by: Richard | August 22, 2007 3:28 PM
i daresay, remember when a wee key chain was all the coverage i needed?
Posted by: dawn | August 22, 2007 3:30 PM
"The doormen sure are friendly around here. What? We don't have a doorman?"
"You wouldn't believe what happened on the elevator."
"Honey, I forgot my tube sock, could you fetch it?"
"Why yes, I had a hard day, why do you ask?"
Posted by: MoBuck | August 22, 2007 3:53 PM
"Stop dressing me with your eyes!"
Posted by: al in la | August 22, 2007 4:44 PM
"I'm back. Can you believe it? - I forgot my shirt!"
Posted by: stcoleridge | August 22, 2007 5:43 PM
"Hail to the Chief, Pat... Check out the Presidential Staff!"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 22, 2007 6:38 PM
"Pretty cool how I rigged up this briefcase and the couch to collect our bodily excretions while a couple of hundred nudniks with nothing better to do think up inane captions till midnight on Sunday, eh? How stiff is your neck by the way?'
Posted by: N-R-2 | August 22, 2007 7:50 PM
"The guys at the office really dug the new merkin you got me."
"You're supposed to be my personal shopper! So put the fucking book down and let's get shopping!"
"Take off your clothes and put on your shoes - we're going out to dinner."
" Wasn't there a scene like this in one of those movies by one of
those directors that all died on the same day a coupla weeks ago?"
"I finally got circumcized - TA-DA!"
Posted by: G-Spot | August 22, 2007 9:28 PM
"Goddamn global fucking warming!"
Posted by: BA | August 22, 2007 11:02 PM
"Well I just had it out with the boss."(laughter) [script consultant note: I suggest sticking with the "classic" setup for that punchline, with the man clothed, zipping up his fly, exiting an office bathroom. While this is a nice absurdist twist on it, the gag itself is probably unfamiliar to enough of the young demo that it'll work fine the straight way. Also, since this beat falls midway through Act I, we should really build gradually toward -- or "earn," if you will -- the surrealistic payoff of Act III.]
Posted by: B'nai tha K | August 22, 2007 11:57 PM
There was a huge sucking sound coming from my asshole. My clothes went first, then Smith from Finance, Jones from Facilities, until the entire room was empty. Luckly, I snatched this leather briefcase from the new marketing guy just before his Italian shoes sealed off my rectum.
Posted by: Shawn | August 23, 2007 1:31 AM
OK, how about now? Is my penis completely obscured if I hold the briefcase like this?
Posted by: Meatbomb | August 23, 2007 4:00 AM
"I told you if the rapture ever came they'd take at least one Jew lawyer."
Posted by: al in la | August 23, 2007 1:41 PM
"Hey, guess what?! I'm on that TV show, 'What not to wear.' It's amazing how stealthy they are; you never even see the cameras or crew. Anyhow, the host, Steve, decided I shouldn't wear anything at all! Then he began to sodo... What, the host isn't named Steve?"
Posted by: mypalmike | August 23, 2007 1:47 PM
"Well, the Executive Ecdysiast had a terrific day - how 'bout you, hon?"
Posted by: Anonymous | August 23, 2007 2:31 PM
"I'm back. Can you believe it? - I forgot my pants!"
Posted by: stcoleridge | August 23, 2007 2:46 PM
"The perspective in this room is still very strange, even without my clothes on."
Posted by: stcoleridge | August 23, 2007 3:48 PM
"Hey! What happened to my nuddie painting?!"
Posted by: Michael in la | August 23, 2007 4:55 PM
Hi, I'm T. A. Winchler and I brought a couple of testicles. Do you mind?
Posted by: therblig | August 23, 2007 5:14 PM
(1) "I totally got raped at the board meeting today."
(2) "It was Casual Sex Friday at work today. Hey, don't give me that look, my job paid for that fancy couch you're sitting on."
(3) "They told me drinking coffee makes you grow hair on your chest... true enough, but they forgot to mention that it also causes you to take off all your clothes and barge into a stranger's house with a briefcase full of S&M equipment."
Posted by: Jacob C | August 23, 2007 5:43 PM
"The hours there aren't the only things that are obscene. In addition, everyone exposes their genitals."
Posted by: Eric | August 23, 2007 9:18 PM
"What?...You're the one who IMed me you're ovulating."
Posted by: al in la | August 23, 2007 11:14 PM
Kendra, I'm glad you're here. I was at the meeting today, staring at Johnson's coffee cup. He's the World's Greatest Dad. I kept thinking about all we've gone through trying to conceive a baby. All of the guilt I've been feeling about what I did when I was younger. I kept thinking about your face. That exasperated face you make at me every single day. Like everything in our relationship would work if we just had a baby. I'm done, Kendra. You can have it all. The house, the car- You want my briefcase? Here, it's yours. I'll keep whatever dignity I have left.
Posted by: stavrogin | August 24, 2007 12:50 AM
"I'm up here!"
Posted by: Harry | August 24, 2007 11:35 AM
"Everyone kept asking me if I wore boxers or briefcases."
Posted by: Harry | August 24, 2007 11:36 AM
Whoops, forgot my hat....
Posted by: carrie | August 24, 2007 11:48 AM
You posted this too soon! My late entries for the people checking results to read:
"Did you change the combination? I really have to pee."
"On further review, I think I'll just get the vasectomy."
Posted by: Charles | August 24, 2007 3:48 PM
"What do you mean I'm too late? Radosh usually doesn't pick a wiener until Sunday."
Posted by: al in la | August 25, 2007 8:22 AM
Dang it honey! You let me forget my watch again.
Posted by: John | August 31, 2007 5:18 PM
"OMG I forgot to wearing the clothes"
"Lol, you are forgetted clothes"
"Yes."
Posted by: Anonymous | September 10, 2007 10:39 AM
What are you doing? Grab the kids and get dressed, we're auditioning "the aristocrats" tonight, remember?
Posted by: Mike Hall | September 10, 2007 10:53 AM