The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #109
Daniel RadoshSubmit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's results.
Winner
"I don't trust that Arab guy sitting back there." —Harry
Finalists
"Too bad that little bottle of antibacterial lotion you had was over 3 ounces, or we'd have us an extra seat right now." —Ed C
"He's the disease, and I'm The Cure — well, one of their former bass players, anyway. We travel together, just so I can say that to people." —Walt
Honorable mention
"He wants to change seats with me -- he says you remind him of the giant creature whose gut he occupies on his own world." —abe
"That? I found him in my carrion luggage." —therblig
"Me? I am the director of the CDC... and this is my large Staph" —Johnny V
"Don't know if it's a dendrite or a micro-tubule or a synapse. but he just put something in me bum." —anonymous
"Ah, so that's who ordered the kosher meal." —Elad
Comments
"He wants to change seats with me -- he says you remind him of the giant creature whose gut he occupies on his own world."
Posted by: abe | August 6, 2007 10:06 AM
"He just told me that he really has to split."
Posted by: Tim H | August 6, 2007 10:09 AM
"He's your son, you tell him to stop being a giant amoeba."
Posted by: Francis | August 6, 2007 10:12 AM
“Would you mind switching seats with me? I’m sitting next to something really gross.”
“I think it’s a paramecium, but let me ask.”
“What, that? It’s just a stuffed Sponge Bob that I won at a carnival. I didn’t want to check it because it’s full of cocaine.”
Posted by: Deborah | August 6, 2007 10:18 AM
"He says his name is T.A. Winchler. I don't believe him."
Posted by: Tim H | August 6, 2007 10:23 AM
Him? He's a terror cell.
Posted by: therblig | August 6, 2007 10:24 AM
That? I found him in my carrion luggage.
It'th a thingle thell organithm
Posted by: therblig | August 6, 2007 10:26 AM
Check her out! She's fat enough -- she doesn't need to be wearing a shirt with horizontal stripes. What not to wear? That shirt!
I pinched my thumb in the damned seat belt lock! Stupid seat belt lock!
I thought this was American Airlines, not Canadian Airlines!
I figured Danny had it bad enough, what with his psoriasis, cyclopism, hirsutism, and degenerative bone disease, but now we find out that the airline lost his clothes and he has to fly to Atlanta naked?
What did he mean when he said that you enrolled him in the "Mile-High Club?"
I've heard of giant amoeba (Amoeba proteus), but this is ridiculous!
He won't keep his pseudopod off my junk!
Posted by: kejo | August 6, 2007 10:28 AM
"The sky marshalls here are obscene."
Posted by: jim M | August 6, 2007 10:40 AM
"He asked me to help him with his seat belt and then dissolved four of my fingers!"
Posted by: jim M | August 6, 2007 10:43 AM
He says he's a protist singer, but I find him stentorian.
Posted by: therblig | August 6, 2007 10:47 AM
“I always bring my DNA with me just in case.”
Posted by: dwilk | August 6, 2007 10:49 AM
"I'll tell ya one thing, he's a hell of a lot better company than that naked guy I had to sit next to on my last flight."
Posted by: Vance | August 6, 2007 10:57 AM
"I told him getting on the plane for a long flight was the wrong time to take LSD. ...Mmmmm... LSD."
Posted by: Vance | August 6, 2007 10:58 AM
"He just hid his shampoo and toothpaste inside his amorphous body and the TSA waved him right along!"
Posted by: Francis | August 6, 2007 11:03 AM
"Judging by the fact that it has a clearly visible nucleus containing its DNA, I would say that it's not a bacterium. And if you think it's a virus, well then you're just retarded."
"He said he's going to the big anti-war protist."
Posted by: Harry | August 6, 2007 11:12 AM
"I don't trust that arab guy sitting back there."
Posted by: Harry | August 6, 2007 11:17 AM
"I puked SO much it wouldn't fit in the barf bag and I had to buy it an extra seat. HI-YO!"
"He has no legs, why does he get the aisle seat?
"So I sez to him, 'Hey, bacillus, you crazy bacterium, how the hell are you!' Nothing - no response."
"I brought along a couple of microbes. i hope you don't mind."
Posted by: JohnnyB | August 6, 2007 11:19 AM
“So here we are, shrunken to the size of microbes, on a journey through an important diplomat’s colon, delivering this biogenetically engineered life-saving mutapolypdecimizer. Meanwhile, a crack team of nanoproctoengineers are traveling up my ass, doing exactly the same thing! Why, this really is a fantastic voyage, and I’ve no idea why I seem so angry about it!”
Posted by: J | August 6, 2007 11:22 AM
“I can’t believe I had to buy a whole second ticket for my ejaculate collection.”
Posted by: J | August 6, 2007 11:23 AM
"I don't care how 'special' the Amish head cheese is, I'm not sitting next to it all the way back to LA."
Posted by: JohnnyB | August 6, 2007 11:24 AM
"He says he paid $300 less for this flight than we did!"
Posted by: stcoleridge | August 6, 2007 11:25 AM
"He says his name is Declan and he'd be very glad to meet you in the Airport Marriott after the flight."
"Evidently this guy's a foreigner."
"He's my son and I love him but you're right, he does smell like John Merrick's ass."
"Check out Mr Fancy with the skin lesions and deformed skull."
"You mention my germ I breaka you face, capisce?"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | August 6, 2007 11:29 AM
Instead of "a couple of microbes" that should be, "I brought along a paramecium, I hope you don't mind."
Posted by: JohnnyB | August 6, 2007 11:30 AM
"...so then I hitched my way 3000 miles back to college. Say, you're pretty--will you do me?"
Posted by: Chris | August 6, 2007 11:39 AM
"They should really wash these airplane blankets once in a while."
Posted by: Dan McCoy | August 6, 2007 11:43 AM
"Check out that blind girl, pretending she can read the newspaper!"
Posted by: Dan McCoy | August 6, 2007 11:44 AM
"One goddamned little bag of peanuts, and Mr. I Have A Deathly Allergy gets all dramatic!"
Posted by: Scraps | August 6, 2007 11:59 AM
"Now he's just being cilia."
Posted by: Tim H | August 6, 2007 12:07 PM
”There's always room for Jell-O!"
Posted by: dwilk | August 6, 2007 12:07 PM
"He says his name is Barack Amoeba and he's running for president."
Posted by: jim M | August 6, 2007 12:09 PM
"You won't believe what this Cissaldan motherscratcher just said it wanted to do to me!"
Posted by: J | August 6, 2007 12:14 PM
"On three, let's roll and/or flagellate. Pass it on."
Posted by: Chris | August 6, 2007 12:15 PM
"Amoeba? I barely even know'a!"
Posted by: dean @ t.a.m.s.y. | August 6, 2007 12:21 PM
"I have had it with these motherfucking paramecia on this motherfucking plane!"
Posted by: mypalmike | August 6, 2007 12:45 PM
My vat of styling gel got confiscated,so I have to use my own DNA.
Posted by: Sullivan | August 6, 2007 12:55 PM
"Get a load of this guy - says 'CBS InFlight' is his favorite thing about traveling."
"Excuse me, ma'am, do you speak jive?"
"What, you think I'm happy about it? But with Bush's new restrictions on stem-cell research, blastocysts aren't allowed in first class."
"Can you believe it? The crew made a starch molecule put on a seat belt! You'd think they never heard of osmosis!"
"Trust me, lady: When the stew comes around with dinner, do NOT get the lasagna!"
Posted by: gary | August 6, 2007 1:02 PM
"Get this... He says Fox News is biased! What part of 'fair and balanced' do these people not understand? I tell you, these liberals are just plain pond scum."
Posted by: mypalmike | August 6, 2007 1:07 PM
"I got tired of sitting next to this thing, so I'm trying to hitch a ride out of here."
"I don't mind switching to the window seat if you two want to sit together."
"He's gonna be in for an unpleasant surprise if the oxygen masks drop down-- he's anaerobic."
Posted by: Rubrick | August 6, 2007 1:48 PM
He's not just the Cilia Club President...he's also a member.
Posted by: therblig | August 6, 2007 2:09 PM
"Are you seeing this? There's a bizarre, hideous creature in the next seat!"
Posted by: John Tabin | August 6, 2007 2:23 PM
"Watch this... I'm gonna stick my thumb in there and pull out an organelle."
Posted by: JP | August 6, 2007 2:27 PM
"You call that a 'Fonz' impression? Watch a pro in action... 'AAAAY!'"
Posted by: JP | August 6, 2007 2:31 PM
"Your name is Celia? What a coincidence--that's my wife's name, too!"
Posted by: JP | August 6, 2007 2:33 PM
"I only pissed my pants cause THIS jerk wouldn't let me out into the aisle without trying to digest my ankle."
Posted by: JP | August 6, 2007 2:39 PM
"Jesus, wouldja listen to mister yakkity-yakkity-yak here? It's been two hours and he still won't shut up! Would YOU kindly tell him nobody cares about the big schism between the Prokaryotes and the Eukaryotes?"
Posted by: Anonymous | August 6, 2007 2:58 PM
[Oops. that anonymous was me.]
Posted by: Vance | August 6, 2007 2:58 PM
Flagelli, you crazy, um, bitch!
Posted by: The Confidence Man | August 6, 2007 3:11 PM
"I could be mistaken, but I think this lowlife just flipped me off"
Posted by: CatL | August 6, 2007 3:31 PM
"I try not to be a speciest, but you have to fucking draw the line somewhere."
Posted by: CatL | August 6, 2007 3:33 PM
That jerk said I have a funny looking nose!
Posted by: 99 | August 6, 2007 3:36 PM
"I said 'blog,' not 'blob'!
Posted by: jim M | August 6, 2007 3:54 PM
"Since when do they make you wear seatbelts on the Long Island Rail Road?"
Posted by: jim M | August 6, 2007 3:56 PM
"She says she's the adopted daughter of Judith Giuliani and that she's totally supporting Barack Obama."
Posted by: Tim H | August 6, 2007 3:57 PM
"At least it's not a toddler."
Posted by: Deborah | August 6, 2007 3:59 PM
"I told you it was a bad idea to bring a Chicgao deep-dish pizza 'with the works' on a six-hour cross-country flight."
Posted by: Tim H | August 6, 2007 4:15 PM
Not an entry, just a regular old comment:
My guess is that therblig's "terror cell" entry was some part of the actual submitted headline. Too dangerous for the New Yorker, of course.
Posted by: Dashiell | August 6, 2007 4:16 PM
er..."Chicago"
Posted by: Tim H | August 6, 2007 4:16 PM
I'm a single male and she's a single cell. eHarmony thinks it's a perfect match.
I pulled my thumb outta my ass and this popped out.
He says he's flying to Canada so he can drive across the border without a hassle. Andrew Speaker will pick him up from there.
Posted by: Amy | August 6, 2007 4:20 PM
"I was allowed only 2 carry on bags. One was my travel bag, the other was my scum bag."
"He thinks this plane is going to Jupiter. That's in Florida, isn't it?"
"I am gathering it's called a 'Mecium'. It's spouse missed the connection in Memphis. At least I'm not sitting with a 'Pair a Mecium'. Get it???! Ha ha ha....Okay then FUCK YOU, you bitch with no sence of humor!"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 6, 2007 5:48 PM
"This, my friend, is a loogie I hacked up that will undoubtably put my name in the Guinness book of World Records!"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 6, 2007 5:53 PM
Oh that? It's a genus of ameboid protozoa characterized by the presence of a vesicular nucleus, usually one contractile vacuole and lobopodia. It also looks hideous and stinks, but I guess you figured that out for yourself...
Posted by: simsburybear | August 6, 2007 7:06 PM
"It's just some bug that's going around."
Posted by: theophylact | August 6, 2007 7:48 PM
It's a mother fuckin' cell on a mother fuckin' plane!
Posted by: Shawn | August 6, 2007 8:24 PM
Comment: apologies to mypalmake...missed your entry...I'll toss mine back in the petri dish.
Posted by: Shawn | August 6, 2007 8:29 PM
Ah, so that's who ordered the kosher meal.
Posted by: Elad | August 6, 2007 9:05 PM
"He just told me Harry Potter dies at the end. Fuck."
Posted by: Dex | August 6, 2007 10:36 PM
This guy smells like ass.
Posted by: G-Francis | August 6, 2007 10:47 PM
Jesus, Sponge Bob has really let himself go.
Posted by: Ben | August 6, 2007 11:31 PM
"He claims he invented the cel phone."
Posted by: al in la | August 7, 2007 2:13 AM
"the blind girl's reading a magazine, and here I am next to her seeing eye blob."
Posted by: Brian L | August 7, 2007 4:13 AM
“I found it in my refrigerator.”
Posted by: dwilk | August 7, 2007 8:17 AM
"He keeps checking out the blind gal."
Posted by: Tiberius | August 7, 2007 10:19 AM
That's my son! I'm flying him to see a specialist. God damn Harry Potter role playing games. You think it's pretty funny, don'tcha!!
Posted by: Leila | August 7, 2007 12:15 PM
"It was supposed to be Spongebob Squarepants, until they put it throught he x-ray machine. Spongebob Squarepants is a popular children's cartoon, and though he doesn't really look much like this, I figure people will see what I'm talking about. Many times, a joke like this hinges on every reader misinterpreting a part of the imagine in the same way. Do you see what I mean lady, or do I draw you a diagram?"
Posted by: Eric | August 7, 2007 12:45 PM
An amoeba splits.
Its two halves play peek a boo -
Pair of me-see-ums.
Posted by: mypalmike | August 7, 2007 1:00 PM
"All I said to him was 'A little CO2 Dave?'
and he got all pissed off."
Posted by: BA | August 7, 2007 1:04 PM
" I mean if a guy's gonna have a fried egg and Cheerios for breakfast do I have to sit here and look at it for 6 hours?"
Posted by: BA | August 7, 2007 1:17 PM
"All I said was "Can you pass the salt?' and he got all pissed off."
Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 1:21 PM
"For Christ's sake, if I'd known you had us flying coach, I would've had myself vaccinated against the bourgeoisie."
Posted by: dean @ t.a.m.s.y. | August 7, 2007 2:25 PM
Ironically, MY name is Edward Bola.
Posted by: therblig | August 7, 2007 2:36 PM
If he takes the last 755 bags of peanuts again, I'm going straight to Herb Kelleher.
Posted by: Louie | August 7, 2007 2:40 PM
Ugh I can see his Golgi apparatus.
Posted by: Frank | August 7, 2007 3:41 PM
Just lower your head slowly. Shhh, shhh. No, he's sleeping. That's right, nice and easy. Lower, lower. :::slurp:::
He's one cell of a guy.
Are you staring at my double chin again? Here, get a closer look!
This isn't what I had in mind when I asked about cell service.
Can you believe this asshole wants to watch Osmosis Jones?
Posted by: motivational buck | August 7, 2007 3:50 PM
He says that if the Rapture comes during this flight, he, the pilot and co-pilot, and maybe a couple of other passengers will disappear, and the rest of us poor suckers are going down in a fiery blaze! But at least we will be spared the Tribulation, with the rise of the Antichrist, and the seas and rivers turning to blood, and the opening of the seven seals, and he just keeps going on and on. Here, he gave me this Chick tract, you can read it.
Posted by: kejo | August 7, 2007 4:12 PM
"He's not just the president of the Hair Club for Men -- he's also a member."
Posted by: Matt S | August 7, 2007 5:57 PM
"Remember that question we had about gonorrhea? Well look here - our lucky day."
Posted by: Ed C | August 7, 2007 6:05 PM
"I don't know about you, but I could go for a denver omelette covered in hair about now."
Posted by: Ed C | August 7, 2007 6:20 PM
"You tell her. My wife wants yet another procedure, but I say she's just addicted to plastic surgery."
Posted by: LV | August 7, 2007 6:21 PM
"Too bad that little bottle of antibacterial lotion you had was over 3 ounces, or we'd have us an extra seat right now."
Posted by: Ed C | August 7, 2007 6:24 PM
"All I'm saying is that if we let things like this deter us from flying, the terrorists and their giant amoebas have already won."
Posted by: Ed C | August 7, 2007 6:33 PM
"Me? I am the director of the CDC... and this is my large Staph"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 7, 2007 6:42 PM
"Can you believe that? They ran out of cranberry juice. It's a 14 hour flight and they ran out of cranberry juice."
Posted by: Adam G | August 7, 2007 6:47 PM
“She always gets that look when we’ve had a fight.”
Posted by: dwilk | August 7, 2007 7:47 PM
"Let's roll."
Posted by: N-R-2 | August 7, 2007 10:06 PM
"So I says to the guy next to me...'Bump into me one more time and it's ADIOS, AMOEBA!"
"This will put the 'Germ' in Germany!"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 7, 2007 10:16 PM
It's always my luck to get seated next to a religious fanatic. I just told him if he could even locate it, to cram Jesus up his ass.
Posted by: SK | August 7, 2007 10:29 PM
"At least he's not that guy who flew with the really bad TB.... unless this IS the guy with the really bad TB."
Posted by: Richard | August 8, 2007 12:28 AM
I always wind up sitting next to some guy who wants to spill his guts to me. Must be my magnetic personality. My name is Ernest by the way. What's yours?
Posted by: Shawn | August 8, 2007 1:05 AM
"Meet Phlegm- spent years bringing him up."
Posted by: LV | August 8, 2007 7:10 AM
"Lady, you're just gonna have to hold it 'cause you're not getting to that aisle since I'm not movin' 'til pigs fly. No, 'til amoebas fly. Ha! What?
Posted by: LV | August 8, 2007 7:26 AM
“It’s my wife, blob blob blob, blob Blobara Ann!”
Posted by: dwilk | August 8, 2007 8:18 AM
"I'm bringing him back to the Museum of Modern Art. He escaped from a Joan Miro painting."
Posted by: Anonymous | August 8, 2007 8:50 AM
"How did this schmuck get the aisle seat?"
Posted by: AnnaH | August 8, 2007 11:50 AM
(1) "The Bush administration has clearly misled the American people about the presence of giant single-celled organisms on commercial flights."
(2) "Did you see that guy in front of us with his headphones on? The movie's not starting for another half-hour! What a weirdo."
(3) "My first wife actually died in a plane crash. And my second wife, as you can see, is a giant amoeba. I don't know why I just told you that. I'm sorry. I always share too much with strangers."
Posted by: Jacob C | August 8, 2007 12:47 PM
"He's pissed off 'cause he didn't catch Barry Bonds' 756th home run."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 8, 2007 1:43 PM
"Look, lady, this is the way I hitchhike. Do you wanna make a federal case out of it?"
Posted by: Kathy H | August 8, 2007 1:50 PM
Boy howdy, I am famished! I brought my own breakfast: two doughnuts, a fried egg, a sausage patty, and not to mention, innumerable home fries! As you can clearly see, I keep said breakfast in a large transparent amorphous container which I have belted to the adjacent seat. Sure, I had to pay for an extra ticket, but it's worth it! Well, it's probably not worth it. What? You say that my large transparent amorphous container looks like something that crawled out of the Burgess Shale? How dare you! Now, kindly remove your hand from my johnson! I am no longer interested in casual sex with strangers on this plane! Well, maybe I am a little interested. You can put it back. Anyway, what's the deal with airport security these days?
Posted by: kejo | August 8, 2007 2:14 PM
"Hey lady, I do not recommend the egg salad. Look what just crawled outta MY ass!"
Posted by: The Mullet | August 8, 2007 2:55 PM
"This just proves my point that nobody really cleans out the inside of these airplanes."
Posted by: The Mullet | August 8, 2007 2:58 PM
"So what? Some people steal towels from the hotel. I steal the comforter."
Posted by: The Mullet | August 8, 2007 2:58 PM
"Peanut allergy."
Posted by: The Mullet | August 8, 2007 2:59 PM
"I'm not sitting on the toilet seat after him!"
Posted by: The Mullet | August 8, 2007 3:17 PM
"He says that every time he hears the song Tequila he inserts the word amoeba in its place."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 8, 2007 3:19 PM
"Since the lifespan of an amoeba is about two days, this guy'll probably croak before we get off the runway."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 8, 2007 3:29 PM
This link should work: lifespan of an amoeba
Posted by: Kathy H | August 8, 2007 3:32 PM
"I'll say one thing. This guy is taking attention away from my hideously grotesque beak of a nose."
Posted by: Kathy H | August 8, 2007 4:01 PM
Sorry, 99, for using your 'nose' idea
Posted by: Kathy H | August 8, 2007 4:04 PM
"Big deal! So you suffer from Hypochondria! This guy suffers from Mitochondria!!"
"So I says to him..."YER OUT".. He gets in my face..."You are blind, ump'", he says... What? Yeah, I see the amoeba...Anyway I says to him..."
Posted by: Johnny V | August 8, 2007 6:34 PM
"...So the guy at the ticket counter is all "I'm sorry sir, we can't allow you to fly with tuberculosis." Long story short, I had to do a few things I'm not very proud of...I never leave home without my TB. Ain't that right sweetie?"
"At least you got the window seat, I'm stuck next to SpongeBob TardPants over here..."
Posted by: jimboweiner | August 8, 2007 8:36 PM
"If we stop suddenly, he gets cut in half. Of course, for him that's a good thing."
Posted by: G-Spot | August 8, 2007 11:04 PM
"Excuse me, sir, but on my planet, that gesture is considered extremely offensive."
Posted by: G-Spot | August 8, 2007 11:06 PM
"It's my incurable cancer."
Posted by: Walt | August 9, 2007 12:41 AM
I know there's got to be a joke somewhere about George Bush and his followers treating a zygote as equivalent to a living human being - but I've tried and tried - and I can't come up with the joke. I invite anyone else to come up with something on this theme.
Posted by: Richard | August 9, 2007 1:01 AM
"I'm going to lodge a complaint about this guy as soon as the stewardess comes by. I think he might be some sort of disease bacillus."
Posted by: Brian Jones | August 9, 2007 8:54 AM
"He's the disease, and I'm The Cure — well, one of their former bass players, anyway. We travel together, just so I can say that to people."
Posted by: Walt | August 9, 2007 9:50 AM
I'm all for diversity, but you look Jewish, so hit the road, lady!
Posted by: Anonymous | August 9, 2007 11:23 AM
"No lady, I'm not related to Michael Doonesbury OR Jughead, and I have no fucking clue what this thing next to me is...Why, oh why did I fly Jet Blue??"
Posted by: al in la | August 9, 2007 12:48 PM
Oops.
"I'm going to lodge a complaint about this thing as soon as the stewardess comes by. I think it might be some sort of disease bacillus."
Posted by: Brian Jones | August 9, 2007 1:19 PM
"I know some people get worried about germs on airplanes, but... you know what I mean? I mean, this is ridiculous! Look at this guy! Oh, man... you know? That's one big germ!"
Posted by: Ed C | August 9, 2007 1:31 PM
"I sort of have a phobia of germs, so sitting next to a giant germ makes me pretty uncomfortable."
Posted by: Ed C | August 9, 2007 1:33 PM
Only one of my ears popped. Kinda odd, don't you think?
Posted by: Matt | August 9, 2007 2:32 PM
My neighbor actually wears foil on his head to keep the government from reading his mind. Strangest thing you've ever seen...
Posted by: Matt | August 9, 2007 3:19 PM
"I don't mind single-celled organisms in coach, but they shouldn't let them sit in the emergency row."
"Did you see the size of the bag this guy fit in the overhead compartment?"
Posted by: Matt | August 9, 2007 3:24 PM
I was going to say, "Good evening, ladies and germs", but there's only one germ, and you're no lady, so forget that idea. Let's just say he's the object of my infections. Where's my fucking drink order?
Posted by: Anonymous | August 9, 2007 4:53 PM
"'What's that?' THAT, my dear lady, is what we call 'hand jive'."
Posted by: Chris | August 9, 2007 5:46 PM
"Crap, I didn't know you wanted the last 2 donuts. I gave them to the guy in the seat next to me."
Posted by: Johnny V | August 9, 2007 6:08 PM
"Get a load of Miss Hollywood with the sunglasses on."
Posted by: Greg | August 9, 2007 8:11 PM
"I'm six beers away from fucking that thing."
Posted by: Matt S | August 10, 2007 1:39 AM
"Soul Mates?!?? God no! We are Cell Mates!"
Posted by: Chin Drop | August 10, 2007 7:56 AM
The gentleman to my left would like me to ask you if you might join him in the bathroom for a little mitosis.
Posted by: Anonymous | August 10, 2007 9:09 AM
Don't know if it's a dendrite or a micro-tubule or a synapse. but he just put something in me bum.
Posted by: Anonymous | August 10, 2007 9:30 AM
He said something about being a Legionnaire.
Posted by: Marcus Areola | August 10, 2007 9:32 AM
Got any Vagisil?
Posted by: Mssr. Bouef la Tete | August 10, 2007 9:33 AM
"The cilia tickle my ear. It's driving me nuts!"
"I've heard of viral advertising, but this is disgusting!"
"I told her not to drink the water, but she just had to learn for herself."
Posted by: David F | August 10, 2007 9:44 AM
Ixnay on the onorrheagay okesjay.
Posted by: Adoo Ronron | August 10, 2007 9:45 AM
"That ain't a me bud."
"If I didn't let him have the aisle, he'd be riding my ass the whole flight!"
"This personal injury lawyer dude just can't stop pushing the envelope..."
Posted by: Michael in LA | August 10, 2007 10:19 AM
These business guys. It's always "Cell! Cell! Cell!"
Posted by: Brad | August 10, 2007 1:28 PM
"One of these days, Alice... One of these days... POW! Right in the kisser!"
Posted by: Chin Drop | August 10, 2007 1:49 PM
This is the last time I'm flying on Jet Blob!
Maybe when we get to LA we'll treat Ms. Ahmmie Ba to an extreme makeover!
Posted by: jeena45 | August 10, 2007 5:02 PM
"It's really is amazing how much things expand in high altitudes."
Posted by: Brian L | August 10, 2007 6:48 PM
Check out this guy--hogging the vacuole rests.
Posted by: Scott Wheeler | August 10, 2007 7:20 PM
"Okay so he's setting a record for distance traveled by a single-cell organism. All I'm sayin' is he looked a lot small on his rookie card."
Posted by: al in la | August 10, 2007 8:02 PM
(let me try that again)
"Okay so he's setting a record for distance traveled by a single-cell organism. All I'm sayin' is he looked a lot smaller on his rookie card."
Posted by: al in al | August 10, 2007 8:06 PM
"Look what is sitting next to me. Can you believe that noone could come up with a funny or lame comment all yesterday about this?!!"
Posted by: Johnny V | August 12, 2007 8:24 AM
(sotto voce) "He tells me he's with the TSA."
Posted by: Michael in LA | August 12, 2007 2:51 PM
"He's a bacilli, and he's a crazy bastard."
Posted by: stcoleridge | August 23, 2007 3:04 PM
"Rosemary something. Hell yes, IT was a difficult delivery"
Posted by: Anonymous | November 11, 2007 5:59 PM
"What, him? Oh, yes, he is my son. What, no, I did not marry a bacteria! For God sakes, I married a danged FLAGELLATE ameoba, you blind bat!
Posted by: Daniel | December 22, 2008 3:37 PM