June 12, 2007

Stupidest prediction you'll read all day

"Nothing will ever beat "The Sopranos" as fodder for critical confusion and excess — not even Shakespeare..." —David Blum, New York Sun.

If my previous post contributes even slightly to this kind of perverse special-presentism, I am deeply sorry.

Posted by Daniel Radosh


It's true, you know. Harold Bloom just IMd me to say that his entire life up until Sunday night was a complete fucking joke.

You complainin' 'bout hyperbole, Radosh? This is just a hyperbolic masterpiece, obvs.

Piss on him for brushing off Sepinwall. The Star-Ledger critics are often the best in the Tri-State area. Let me explain: Each and every column they turn out is a masterpiece.

I do want to add that never have truer words been spoken than Blum's, "It's doubtful that Dickens would have concluded Oliver Twist with a Journey song and a blank page."

Dickens, clearly more of an REO Speedwagon fan.

And here I thought the ending of the Sopranos was an homage to The Mystery of Edwin Drood.

the sopranos final episode was the one before last sunday. the series ends with tony alone, on the lam, totally fucked with a contract out on him.

last week's episode was tony's wish-fulfillment dream. think about it. everything that happened was preposterous and everyone acted out of character.

aj suddenly wants to fuck the sophomore? aj snaps out of his depression and gets a job?

phil's henchmen suddenly decide not to whack tony, but rather phil?

phil dies in the most preposterous way? also, hello, phil does not go to ground with his wife and grandkids.

what was with the snow? suddenly it's snowing, then it's not, and there's no snow anywhere.

fbi guy is suddenly on tony's side? and that agent he was screwing was a total stereotype.

i could go on.

How can you not accept a theory by someone named slutwench?

Don't misunderestimate her. She can talk dirty in six languages.

It's an intriguing idea, but how does the last scene fit in? Did that feel like wish fulfillment to you? In fact, did any of it?

Here's a version of the dream scenario. One possible objection: too many scenes without Tony present.

mais oui, the last scene was wish fulfillment. happy family, all together, even meadow.

think of this: aj kept telling his parents that he and r were just friends. all through the two previous episodes. and all the time they spent in his room alone, he never made a move. aj is depressed. it's tony who wanted aj to sleep with the girl. aj didn't.

tony missed his therapist, so he dreams he got a new one, via aj. he misses his house, so he dreams he gets to go back. he's estranged from his daughter, so he dreams she's part of the happy family again.

also, the plot jumped around the way a dream does. suddenly, he's in the car at the airport, and it's snowing. aj's joining the army! no, he's not! the scene with the guys going to the bathroom is straight out of the godfather, which tony knows by heart, and which he and sil referenced last episode. as chase said, it's all there.

also, suv's don't just burst into flames when you park in leaves.

here's what happened: he was dreaming along, and suddenly all goes black. he was whacked in his sleep. by whom? paulie? that i don't know.

>>also, suv's don't just burst into flames when you park in leaves

Sure--that's what Detroit wants you to believe.

Don't SUV's roll over in the leaves? They roll over everywhere else.

Don't SUV's roll over in the leaves?

You're thinking of puppies.

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