The Barack Obama Anti-Caption Contest
Here's the Barack Obama doodle that netted $2,075 in a charity auction. It's a picture of Senators Chuck Schumer, Harry Reid, Dianne Feinstein and Ted Kennedy. But what are they saying? You are invited to submit your best (or worst) captions here. A winner may or may not be chosen.
You may also submit captions for any of the other celebrity doodles collected by charitoteer Gillian Anderson for her campaign against neurofibromatosis, whatever that is. If your entry is for a drawing other than Obama's just preface the caption with the name of the celebrity. Or "celebrity." I guess David Duchovny isn't ready to make nice just yet. He gave her a picture done by his kid, Kyd. Wonder how much that fetched?
There's actually a lot of stuff you could tease out of this collection if you were so inclined. Like, did no one draw a penis or a naked lady? You call this doodling? And man, Jay Leno is an asshole, isn't he? It looks like he just mailed in a pre-written autograph he keeps in his office for when the wives of NBC executives stop by. I do like the cartoon by Christian alt-rocker Mat Kearney, though. Certainly better than his music. What gets your attention?
Comments
Chris Shelton? These were obviously commissioned in late May of '06.
Posted by: Dashiell | May 30, 2007 1:23 PM
Ed Asner's, while dated 2007, was clearly drawn by him in his younger, more innocent days, when he was an afficionado of LSD.
Posted by: michael | May 30, 2007 2:08 PM
I actually really like the one by Gillian Anderson's daughter. She must be what, 13? I also like Cindy Crawford's. It looks like she made the head out of a fingerprint made with lipstick. Quite appropriate for her persona.
Posted by: Deborah | May 30, 2007 2:30 PM
No penises? Did you not notice the background of Obama's cartoon?
Posted by: Rubrick | May 30, 2007 2:57 PM
Oh. Duh.
Also, Schumer's kind of a dick too.
Posted by: radosh | May 30, 2007 3:04 PM
"Hey, guys, can you believe Hillary is going to lose to the black guy?"
Posted by: gary | May 30, 2007 3:08 PM
Senator Feinstein: "Okay, Schumer wins the 'Loftiest Boner' contest! Drinks are on Ted!"
Posted by: kejo | May 30, 2007 3:18 PM
But most of them already have captions. Kate Capshaw's, for instance, reads, "I fucked the director and all I got was this elaborate box of colored pencils."
Posted by: J | May 30, 2007 3:50 PM
I'm struck by the fact that Lorenzo Lamas thinks his father died in combat. Also that he played a character named "Lance Cumson."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | May 30, 2007 4:12 PM
Kenny G's is even more disturbingly off-the-shelf than Jay Leno's. OK. Saxaphone. We get it.
These captions are from the current New Yorker. Slightly customized for the Obama sketch.
"Anyhoo, it's malignant."
"Let's make a low-budget movie till help arrives."
"Make a note, Diane -- one Speedo, size 54"
Reid to Kennedy: "And in the event of an actual leopard attack the schoolgirl fetish would do exactly what?"
Feinstein: "After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."
Posted by: Buck | May 30, 2007 7:53 PM
The objects in the background include Diane Feinstein's numerous bras
Schumer, Reid, Feinstein and Kennedy... A rough layout for Mount Rush-no-more
Posted by: Johnny V | May 31, 2007 8:31 AM
Cindy Crawford's mole... red and inflamed by the many years of it being pick on
Posted by: Johnny V | May 31, 2007 8:34 AM
Diane Feinstein says, "Chuck, this little apartment is a pit. Someone gave all three of you the shaft."
Posted by: LR | May 31, 2007 11:59 AM
"Donald Trump to Angus Oblong: "You're fired!"
Posted by: LR | May 31, 2007 12:20 PM
"We're all in this together. In this shower together."
Posted by: mypalmike | May 31, 2007 4:54 PM
"All your base are belong to us"
Posted by: John Tabin | May 31, 2007 9:22 PM
Reid to Kennedy...
"You think that large pimple on top of your head is weird looking, take a look at the wart on my shoulder!"
Posted by: Johnny V | June 1, 2007 8:18 AM
Henry Winkler's Sketch
It's supposed to be a shark jumping!
Posted by: Johnny V | June 1, 2007 8:22 AM
Reid: Okay, Just the Jews this time - (SINGING)
'It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right...'
Posted by: JohnnyB | June 1, 2007 10:47 AM
I think there is some "nip slip" in the bottom left of the String Quartet doodle. Must have been the viola, you know how crazy those bastards are.
And is that a huge bush?
Posted by: murph | June 3, 2007 7:46 PM
Bad Writing Alert:
"... a piece by Gillian Anderson, which brought in about $700. Best known for her role as agent Dana Scully on “The X Files,” she is the daughter of Rosemary Anderson and her brother, Aaron, ..."
I know it goes forward with another defining clause but the unfortunate idea is already cast in the sequence.
Posted by: SK | June 3, 2007 10:41 PM
I think Alfred Hitchcock said the scariest sight he ever witnessed was a priest walking down a country lane with his arm around the shoulders of a young lad.
The Ronald McDonald entry reminded me of that observation.
Posted by: SK | June 3, 2007 10:50 PM