The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #82
Submit the worst possible caption for this New Yorker cartoon. Click here for details. Click here to see last week's winner.
Winner
"Hello ACLU? We're being harassed by a religious fanatic." —al in la
Finalists
"I've got to go. Apparently that wasn't the Tree of Unlimited Anytime Minutes." —charles
"Spying on us, eh? Well, this stick of dynamite should keep you distracted!" —Pat Broderick
Honorable mention
"Hi, Steve? Adam here. Look, next time I see you, remind me to tell you all about what God just did. Anyhoo, Eve and I are gonna go catch 'Dreamgirls', maybe do some shopping. I'll catch up with you at home later. Love you, bye." —Tim C.
"Geez, Yahweh, lighten up. Marduk would never spazz like this. HE knows how to treat a flawed creation. You're embarassing me, you're embarassing Cindy, but most of all you're embarassing yourself." —TG Gibbon
"Oh, sure God, go after us! What about the guy immediately to our right who's masturbating to The New Yorker?!"—Dan McCoy
"Hi, San Francisco Cab Company, I need a ride. I was just at Dolores park for the hallucinogen legalization rally. I believe I may be running naked down Dolores Ave. OK, thanks, see you soon."—mypalmike
"It's horrible! Terrorists set off a series of massive explosions at the Super Bowl. Our clothes caught on fire and we barely made it out alive. There's nothing left of the stadium except a memory and one of those giant foam #1 hands."—David John
"Find Richard Dawkins and tell him it's no delusion!"—Nell
"Eating the apple was an honest mistake, but then using the Apple iPhone to update good and evil on Wikipedia was, I have to admit, a really dick move."—dean
"Yeah we're getting deported. But I slipped the snake a few bucks so we should be back in a few weeks. It's not like there's a wall or anything."—Dex
"Hey! Shut the fuck up. I'm on the phone."—/\lex
Comments
Well who the hell wouldn't want to try an apple that grew on a coconut tree?
Posted by: Amy | January 8, 2007 7:19 AM
He's just like the damn priests, always more than a little friendly touching.
Posted by: Chris | January 8, 2007 8:09 AM
"Hello, Evrolet? Yep, the giant woman is back. She seems to be following me."
Posted by: Deborah | January 8, 2007 8:14 AM
"And, he's giving us the finger!"
Posted by: Mal | January 8, 2007 8:19 AM
"I can't talk now."
Posted by: michael | January 8, 2007 8:39 AM
"Hello, 1-800-EVICTED?"
Posted by: Francis | January 8, 2007 9:00 AM
"The camping trip was going great, until Pac-Man showed up and went running to God like a little bitch to tell Him we were engaging in premarital sex."
Posted by: David John | January 8, 2007 9:25 AM
"As God is my proctologist..!"
Posted by: danny | January 8, 2007 9:30 AM
All I was seeking was the knowledge of how to use a corn dog, because holding it up to my ear sure isn't working.
Posted by: radosh | January 8, 2007 9:37 AM
Spying on us, eh? Well, this stick of dynamite should keep you distracted!
Posted by: Pat Broderick | January 8, 2007 9:52 AM
"Aw, come on ... just pull it!"
Posted by: Jason Olshefsky | January 8, 2007 9:56 AM
"The roaming charges east of Eden are gonna kill me."
Posted by: J.D. | January 8, 2007 10:08 AM
"Hello, Accu-Weather? I got a complaint."
Posted by: Tim H | January 8, 2007 10:10 AM
"Wherever we go this foliage jumps in front of our genitalia."
Posted by: J.D. | January 8, 2007 10:14 AM
"Noah, it's Adam. Call back the broker immediately and tell him NOT to sell our condo in purgatory."
"The vacation was going great until Jim and Sue started dancing on the nude beach and awakened the local vengeful God, Proctologius."
"Police, yes I'm being chased by big bird. I managed to poke his right eyes out, but he's relentless."
Posted by: Joe | January 8, 2007 10:24 AM
"What? Oh, that? Yes, we see it. Thanks for pointing it out - we wouldn't want to step in it."
Posted by: Deborah | January 8, 2007 10:58 AM
"Can you hear me now?"
Posted by: Joey | January 8, 2007 11:06 AM
"I don't know whether this is a cellular pussy willow or a mobile tampon but either way God doesn't seem too happy about it."
"Geez, Yahweh, lighten up. Marduk would never spazz like this. HE knows how to treat a flawed creation. You're embarassing me, you're embarassing Cindy, but most of all you're embarassing yourself."
"Hello, Ghostbusters?"
"I'll kill your son for this!"
Posted by: TG Gibbon | January 8, 2007 11:11 AM
"Oh, sure God, go after us! What about the guy immediately to our right who's masturbating to The New Yorker?!"
Posted by: Dan McCoy | January 8, 2007 11:26 AM
"YEEEEEOWWW! Oh great, thanks a lot, God, while you were distracting me I walked right into our campfire, severely burning my genitals! That's just perfect."
"Y'know, next time you lose a contact lens maybe you could just reach down and get it yourself - or at least communicate your instructions through the air instead of this oversized birthday candle."
"Hello, God? Look, I know this may be a bad time, but I have a major complaint. Radosh is entering his own caption contest. Can you fix it so no matter what, he doesn't wind up winning? Great, thanks.
Posted by: Vance | January 8, 2007 11:36 AM
"Don't look directly at it unless you are holding a lit candle to your ear. AHHHHHH, my hair is on fire!"
Posted by: DCD | January 8, 2007 11:40 AM
Hello, Fox? Have I got a reality-show treatment for you!"
Posted by: Tim H | January 8, 2007 12:37 PM
"Hi mom - I've been meaning to thank you for the Target gift card. We'll put it to good use. Ever since Eve and I left Eden it's been obvious we need some clothes. I mean, these bushes are irritating my nards."
Posted by: Tiberius | January 8, 2007 12:41 PM
"I can't see Eve's bush because it's behind a bush."
Posted by: Hank N | January 8, 2007 12:56 PM
"We'd like to lodge a complaint about a omnipotent being who seeks to harm us apparently because of my historically inaccurate navel. And because we're Jews."
"(Father of) Christ, what an asshole."
Posted by: RichM | January 8, 2007 1:27 PM
"Some creep with his head in the clouds is harassing us. Can you take care of it, Frank?"
Posted by: Davided | January 8, 2007 1:57 PM
"LOOOOOOK! BOOOOOOOBIES!"
Posted by: John Tabin | January 8, 2007 2:00 PM
"Hello, police? This Shady Palms Nudist Colony. We're being harrassed by a giant hand."
Posted by: John Tabin | January 8, 2007 2:02 PM
[I mean "This is Shady Palms," obviously..]
Posted by: John Tabin | January 8, 2007 2:03 PM
"Adam! I command you to call a landscaping service immediately! That grass is almost up to your waste!"
Posted by: John Tabin | January 8, 2007 2:05 PM
And by "landscaping," I mean "manscaping." Hi yo!
[Confidential to Vance: this entry is totally winning]
Posted by: radosh | January 8, 2007 2:13 PM
"I've got to go. Apparently that wasn't the Tree of Unlimited Anytime Minutes."
"... the big waving finger? Oh, yeah, I see you. We'll turn around."
"If that was the Tree of Knowledge, why are we still naked? And why are you calling me on my cell phone? I can hear your booming voice all around me."
"The eternity here is obscene."
Posted by: Charles | January 8, 2007 2:22 PM
I'm never praying for a hand job again!
Posted by: n | January 8, 2007 2:25 PM
Hello? fall from eden reality t.v. casting, I think we've found our adam and eve.
Posted by: k | January 8, 2007 2:43 PM
"No, I don't know who I could possibly be calling, either."
Posted by: Tim C. | January 8, 2007 2:59 PM
"Boy, some apples are worth breaking Atkins for, and some apples ain't."
(submitted on the off chance this cartoon is taking place in 4000BC, or 2003)
Posted by: David John | January 8, 2007 3:08 PM
"Why is that snake constricting something it can't swallow? Why is that cloud accusing us? Why do my wife's breasts look like hand-coiled pots? Why am I playing hackysack with a crab-apple? Why am I holding onto a bloody tampon? Why are we sinking into the bog? Why..?"
Posted by: Pete H | January 8, 2007 3:14 PM
"Hi, Steve? Adam here. Look, next time I see you, remind me to tell you all about what God just did. Anyhoo, Eve and I are gonna go catch 'Dreamgirls', maybe do some shopping. I'll catch up with you at home later. Love you, bye."
Posted by: Tim C. | January 8, 2007 3:18 PM
"Wait - You want me to put my whatwhat where? I told you -- I've no interest in her! I don't find her remotedly attractive! I find the snake more arousing! Just look at how... tightly... wrapped it is around that... Anyway, what say you I just stimulate her with this popsicle thingy and we call it a deal?"
Posted by: J | January 8, 2007 3:47 PM
[God makes a forceful appearance in this week's cartoon, Radosh decides to assert himself in the comments section. Discuss.]
Posted by: J | January 8, 2007 3:49 PM
(Remotedly = remotely. It's the gas, kids.)
Posted by: J | January 8, 2007 3:50 PM
Daniel, it's embarrassing! What do I tell people - my son the anti-caption blogger? Enough already! Get a real job.
Posted by: your mother | January 8, 2007 4:41 PM
"Ja, ist dieses Winchler! Was die Hölle du...... oooops, Sorry! Forgot what week it was.
Posted by: weisenheimer | January 8, 2007 4:51 PM
"Hello? Oh, hi, yeah. Just jogging naked through the grounds now with Cheryl. Uh huh, she says hi. Yeah, it's actually a really nice place - I gotta admit, when I heard 'Nude Fitness' I thought it would be trashy, but it's really well-designed, and - what? Wait, I can't hear you, there's some sort of - hang on, I gotta turn around for a second and se - HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!"
Posted by: Vance | January 8, 2007 4:51 PM
"Fucking Eve, you took a bath in the ocean and now all the fish are gonna smell like -- hold on, there's a call on my anachronistic cell phone."
Posted by: J.D. | January 8, 2007 4:58 PM
"Hi, San Francisco Cab Company, I need a ride. I was just at Dolores park for the hallucinogen legalization rally. I believe I may be running naked down Dolores Ave. OK, thanks, see you soon."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 8, 2007 5:14 PM
"I want my deposit back."
Posted by: al in la | January 8, 2007 5:47 PM
Did I hear you say we're entering a dead zone?
Posted by: MJ | January 8, 2007 5:49 PM
Whatever it is tell me quick, I think my service is about to be cut off
Posted by: simsburybear | January 8, 2007 6:38 PM
"Yes, I know I have a tumor on my right shoulder! Thanks for pointing that out! Look, I'm trying to talk on the phone here, okay?"
"No, really, I'd love to hear about the new curtains, but I've gotta go. I've been bitten by a snake, God is about to smite me, and I think I just fucked Eve in a patch of stinging nettles."
Posted by: Rubrick | January 8, 2007 6:41 PM
"He wanted to know where I keep this phone when I'm not using it. That's what I get for being honest."
Posted by: Jim Treacher | January 8, 2007 6:58 PM
Look on the bright side, dear, at least god gave us a lovely sex toy as a parting gift.
Posted by: r | January 8, 2007 8:05 PM
Eve, the editor of the New Yorker says you're being thrown out of paradise because your last caption sucked. I told you there was nothing funny about talking pasta!
Posted by: Maxwell Hammer | January 8, 2007 9:13 PM
"Phone's for you -- it's your mother."
Posted by: Dex | January 8, 2007 9:27 PM
"He must be really angry, I havn't seen the rectal exam sign since He caught me fantasizing about another rib."
Posted by: MJ | January 8, 2007 9:41 PM
"HOLY SHI..., I mean GOSH DARN IT!!!"
Posted by: Mark | January 8, 2007 10:23 PM
"Hello, is this quality control? Yeah, I just wanted to applaud the return of nakedness to the contest, I mean... two desks? What the fuck was that all ab - hang on, I gotta get offa here, there's some kind of enormous spectral finger-pointing hand coming after me."
Posted by: Vance | January 9, 2007 12:27 AM
Steve? He broght it!
Posted by: al in la | January 9, 2007 12:45 AM
Sweetie? Adam again. I meant He bought.
Posted by: NCLee | January 9, 2007 12:48 AM
"Hello ACLU? We're being harassed by a religious fanatic."
Posted by: al in la | January 9, 2007 1:43 AM
"...So I says to Maybel, I says..."
Posted by: Weeze | January 9, 2007 2:14 AM
"Yeah, I know you said to remove our clothes and then angle toward the tall grass, but God's telling us to back up and take a left."
Posted by: ryanTg | January 9, 2007 3:17 AM
" Tell me it's only 'The Left Hand of God: Taking Back Our Country from the Religious Right by Michael Lerner,' before I soil myself!"
Posted by: demetrius | January 9, 2007 7:46 AM
"He had a Halo."
Posted by: Gladys | January 9, 2007 7:49 AM
"It's horrible! Terrorists set off a series of massive explosions at the Super Bowl. Our clothes caught on fire and we barely made it out alive. There's nothing left of the stadium except a memory and one of those giant foam #1 hands."
Posted by: David John | January 9, 2007 8:32 AM
"Doc, I'm having my prostate exam done by another provider- what number should he fax the results to?"
Posted by: LV | January 9, 2007 9:57 AM
"Do you guys still deliver? Even to Nod? Oh, good. And is the Noid still your mascot? No, that's a shame. Do you know what he's doing these days? Oh, he was fictional? Well, trust me, sometimes you can't count on that to stop them; You wouldn't believe the scene we have going on here. I don't know it's either the White Glove Car Wash glove or the Lord God Almighty action finger. Either way it seems to have an unusual attitude towards human sexuality. Anyway, you still have crazy bread, right? No, that sucks, what happened? The Noid? Really? Oh, that's why he was fired. Damn it, call waiting, look we need a large Hawaiian pizza over here, okay? Yeah, sorry, I have to go; President Lincoln is calling on the other line. What do you mean you didn't hear a beep. That's how my phone works, you don't need to hear the beep. Oh, you heard it last time when Eve called. Well, that's her phone. It's different. Motorola. She's even on a different plan. Yeah, T-Mobile. Cain's wife's mother put her onto it. Anyway, seriously, Lincoln. I gotta go. Thanks, Bob."
Posted by: TG Gibbon | January 9, 2007 10:44 AM
I need a quick favor, could you google the official rules to eenee meenee minee mo.
Posted by: Joe | January 9, 2007 10:54 AM
The descendant biblical scholars long forgot that the mighty arm of God that created the heavens was severly overcome with a chronic case of elephantitis.
Posted by: Joe | January 9, 2007 10:59 AM
"She said she was eighteen!"
Posted by: Eric | January 9, 2007 11:54 AM
"I've had it with this motherfucking snake on this motherfucking tree of the knowledge of good and evil."
Posted by: J.D. | January 9, 2007 11:56 AM
"Find Richard Dawkins and tell him it's no delusion!"
Posted by: Nell | January 9, 2007 12:45 PM
"...You have selected "Apocalypto." If this is correct, press 1."
Posted by: D.W. | January 9, 2007 1:39 PM
And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
-Genesis 3:22-23
Posted by: Walt | January 9, 2007 2:10 PM
(The above entry has to be imagined in context, appearing as the caption to the cartoon in the New Yorker.)
Posted by: Walt | January 9, 2007 2:14 PM
"I think my favorite moment on 'DeGrassi: The Next Generation' was when Marco caught Dylan in bed with the African-Canadian guy. Well, ok, my FAVORITE favorite was when Spinner got a boner in Ms. Kwan's class."
Posted by: J.D. | January 9, 2007 2:25 PM
Can you connect me with any of the people at AnswersInGenesis.com? It's pretty urgent.
Yeah, Mike, we're just clearing out until he finishes goosing the T-Rexes. So I was saying... the sunburn, yeah. All the time. Comes from having lily-white skin in a tropical... ow! Damn! I just stepped on another trilobyte. You know, sometimes I think we're just not well adapted to this environment at all.
Posted by: Walt | January 9, 2007 2:35 PM
Walt 2:14
Posted by: J | January 9, 2007 2:51 PM
"Dump Apple. Go long on anything related to textiles and apparel...And tell the boys on K Street this religion things is gonna be big...we can use that."
Posted by: al in la | January 9, 2007 3:30 PM
Can you hear me NOW?
Posted by: Darren Addy | January 9, 2007 3:40 PM
"I like guys, but I'm not what you'd call 'broken in'...My wife? Oh yeah, she can handle it."
Posted by: Marvin | January 9, 2007 4:57 PM
"Hell yes we're running!!! What if a space giant from another galaxy asked YOU to stand under his finger!"
Posted by: Marvin | January 9, 2007 5:03 PM
"All I said was, 'Now that I'm seeing nakedness, I wouldn't mind losing more ribs."
Posted by: MJ | January 9, 2007 5:42 PM
"Looks like God is raising cain...hey...isn't that our job."
Posted by: David W. | January 9, 2007 5:54 PM
"OK, OK. No more mother-in-law jokes"
"The special effects here are truely AWESOME.
Posted by: MJ | January 9, 2007 5:56 PM
"He told us to go forth and multiply, but not in those words."
Posted by: Woody A | January 9, 2007 5:57 PM
Hello Verizon ... what do you mean I have no minutes left?
Posted by: David W. | January 9, 2007 6:05 PM
"Like, who am I calling?"
Posted by: J.D. | January 9, 2007 6:28 PM
"OK, well now I know: Dylan doesn't do interviews."
Posted by: al in la | January 9, 2007 6:39 PM
[Oops, sorry Tim C., you definitely got there first with your effulgent genius.]
Posted by: J.D. | January 9, 2007 6:46 PM
I thought the serpent was a clip on.
Posted by: k | January 9, 2007 7:28 PM
Hello? This is Adam, I don't know who I could possibly be calling either, considering I am the first man.
Posted by: rn | January 9, 2007 7:34 PM
"Fucking MapQuest!"
Posted by: arlyn | January 9, 2007 8:43 PM
"Hello, Gloria Allred? We'd like to retain your services. We just got kicked out of where we were staying for eating an apple, but Eve thinks it's really because she's a woman."
Posted by: David John | January 9, 2007 8:57 PM
"Hi, is this Tony Roma's? I'd like to order two dozen ribs, with a side of lube."
"Eating the apple was an honest mistake, but then using the Apple iPhone to update good and evil on Wikipedia was, I have to admit, a really dick move."
Posted by: dean | January 9, 2007 10:52 PM
Listen Dave, me and Eve are going to have to stay at your place for a few nights if that's alright. Well, remember that pervert freak living upstairs. Yeah, well it looks like he's finally flipped.
Posted by: /\lex | January 9, 2007 11:33 PM
I keep telling you, there's no one here named "Timmy!" No, no "Tommy" either! Now stop calling me!
Posted by: Walt | January 10, 2007 12:19 AM
"The pitch meeting didn't go well. These fucking producers think they're God!!"
Posted by: NClee | January 10, 2007 12:32 AM
'Walt 2:14?' What the heck's that supposed to mean? Something about finding moneylenders in the temple? Aren't we getting WAY ahead of ourselves here?
(Taking it as a slightly misnumbered compliment, thanks! :) )
Posted by: Walt | January 10, 2007 12:48 AM
"He wants us to smell it, but we don't know where it's been."
"Dude, remember when your parents caught you with your prom date? This is much worse."
Posted by: Nell | January 10, 2007 12:57 AM
"No, I'm not interested in the friends and family plan. Who the hell is this?"
Posted by: MJ | January 10, 2007 1:02 AM
I don't know about omnipotent, but judging from the size of his index finger -- he's hung like a horse.
Posted by: MJ | January 10, 2007 2:07 AM
"This new GPS system is AWESOME."
Posted by: MJ | January 10, 2007 2:25 AM
"Hello? Finger-envy hotline?"
Posted by: danny | January 10, 2007 9:50 AM
"Whaddaya mean who is this? You're the one who called me, you sonofabitch!"
Posted by: Vance | January 10, 2007 10:54 AM
"Don't get mad. All I'm saying is, if I could have a few more wives my children wouldn't have to be quite so incestuous."
Posted by: MJ | January 10, 2007 1:24 PM
Hello Cellular One ... your right, looks like I'll need 'roaming 'on my plan!
Posted by: David W | January 10, 2007 2:28 PM
Hello Dr. Phil ... how could we do such childish things when we didn't even have one?
Posted by: David W | January 10, 2007 2:34 PM
"I'm starting to think that this was not such an Intelligent Design after all."
Posted by: murph | January 10, 2007 2:43 PM
If they can't find Bushwick, I really don't think they will find this either. In any event, does it look like I have any money on me?
Posted by: 99 | January 10, 2007 6:30 PM
"The sex here was sooooooo obscene."
Posted by: 32 | January 10, 2007 8:20 PM
"FEMA here. This is going to be even worse than Katrina!"
Posted by: gnarly | January 10, 2007 8:28 PM
"Christ, I can't wait for the day when they can put someone else on the cover of People."
Posted by: Kevin Guilfoile | January 10, 2007 9:50 PM
"The snake was cheap. You know Eve is a sucker for anything remotely phallic."
Posted by: MJ | January 10, 2007 9:50 PM
"You know me. I can resist anything -- but temptation."
Posted by: Oscar W | January 10, 2007 9:51 PM
"Isn't this a bit harsh. Your sentencing me to 900 years -- with one women."
Posted by: MJ | January 10, 2007 11:39 PM
"Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me...So leave the bitch alone, ok?"
Posted by: al in la | January 11, 2007 12:14 AM
In a recent survey, 25% of Americans said that Jesus' second coming will occur in 2007. A mere 13% of respondents believed that Adam and Eve had cell phones. And 85% felt that viewing cartoon nudity should be punishable by 5-10 years in jail.
Posted by: mypalmike | January 11, 2007 1:08 AM
"Coed Naked Jalapeno Tossing used to be just a t-shirt slogan. Now we've got fans waving foam fingers in the air."
Posted by: mypalmike | January 11, 2007 1:36 AM
"Yeah, what if the first three letters of the movie title do contain a 'Q' or a 'Z'? What then? What? Fucking? Then? Oh, I press '1' now? Thanks, God."
Posted by: David John | January 11, 2007 4:31 AM
Apologies to D.W. My above entry's too close for comfort.
He beat me to the punch with a Moviefone--press 1 joke.
Posted by: David John | January 11, 2007 6:02 AM
"THOU SHALT NOT TALK ON CELL PHONE WHILE HAVING SEX!!!!!!!"
Posted by: the boss | January 11, 2007 7:56 AM
"Nah, it's not that bad. I can see two big desks -- side by side -- just down the road a piece. With a LAN line."
Posted by: Tim H | January 11, 2007 12:30 PM
Oh no, you're not sticking THAT up my ass again!
Posted by: Elias K. | January 11, 2007 12:54 PM
"I don't know. Maybe we'll look for an ark around here somewhere?"
Posted by: brewster | January 11, 2007 1:24 PM
I'm just leaving now. Yeah, some guy gave us directions.
Posted by: monk | January 11, 2007 4:23 PM
Christ! What an Asshole!
Posted by: MS | January 11, 2007 4:23 PM
Thanks to Eve's newfound shame, phone sex will have to cover all my tabooed fetishes. And you can bet one revolves around a fucking serpent!
Posted by: Amy | January 11, 2007 6:34 PM
"Yeah we're getting deported. But I slipped the snake a few bucks so we should be back in a few weeks. It's not like there's a wall or anything."
Posted by: Dex | January 11, 2007 8:09 PM
"Hey! Shut the fuck up. I'm on the phone."
Posted by: /\lex | January 11, 2007 8:14 PM
"God's right handed, right? Must be one of her interns."
Posted by: Davided | January 11, 2007 8:25 PM
Hello, I would like to order a large cheese pizza, I don't know about you homey, but I ain't eatin' bread by the sweat of my brow, no way.
Posted by: n | January 11, 2007 10:30 PM
"We tried. It's no use. You can't get anywhere near that Apple iPhone."
Posted by: al in la | January 11, 2007 10:55 PM
you're jack bauer aren't you? did chloe get a boob job?
Posted by: mark | January 11, 2007 11:51 PM
"I need to take this."
Posted by: NAMBY | January 12, 2007 1:02 AM
Doc, Marty here. Listen, this is heavy, me and Jennifer took the delorean back to the dawn of time and we need your help getting back. Is there anything about plutonium in the bible?
Posted by: Joe | January 12, 2007 9:51 AM
"Yeah, that's right, a giant cursor in the sky that calls Eve a 'sweet link' and wants to 'click on her fine ass.'"
Posted by: LV | January 12, 2007 2:32 PM
It's that damn caption contest, I think that everyone has had enough already, I think this is the sign.
Posted by: n | January 12, 2007 2:51 PM
“Tell my listeners I need raise five million dollars to stay in Eden.”
Posted by: Dex | January 12, 2007 3:24 PM
"It was a worm infested soggy macintosh for cri sakes!"
Posted by: BBB | January 12, 2007 8:16 PM
"OK! OK! You can have your damn Saints. I'll take the Eagles...But you have give me at least 6 1/2 points."
Posted by: al in la (Go Reggie!) | January 12, 2007 8:50 PM
"I need that Notre Dame sweatshirt NOW!!!"
Posted by: corkster | January 12, 2007 10:16 PM
"You booked us here, Henry--now the least you can do is get us a refund!"
"Hef? Can we go back to Playboy? We're still not wanted at The New Yorker!"
"It's an emergency, Doc! I grew a navel but lost my toes, five fingers, a rib, and my neck. And Eve? She's missing one finger--and her penis!"
"We just lost our shirts buying scalped tickets to see Kristin Chenoweth in The Apple Tree--and now we can't even find Studio 54! Which street is it on, again?"
"Hello? Hello? Yes. Yes. No. No. Fine. Fine. Not right now. Not right now. Tonight. Tonight. At 8. At 8. What? What? All right. All right. Okay. Okay. Bye. Bye."
Posted by: David | January 13, 2007 10:53 AM
Hello, New Yorker? Could you make the big hand black and make Eve Chinese?
Posted by: Sher | January 13, 2007 2:45 PM
Hi. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
Posted by: Sher | January 13, 2007 3:03 PM
I swear on me muther's grave, O'Malley, dere's a real live snake on de Em'rald Isle.
Posted by: Sher | January 13, 2007 3:10 PM
So he's sending more troops to die in the unwinnable civil war he created? Well that's President Dumbya Bush for ya, Powell.
Posted by: Sher | January 13, 2007 3:21 PM
"hey, winchler, is that extra desk job still open?
Posted by: n | January 13, 2007 3:28 PM
Give 1000 monkeys 1000 typewriters for 1000 years and eventually they would write the winning caption, the winning anti-caption?, hold on a second, he never mentioned that.
Posted by: kimo | January 13, 2007 3:46 PM
On the next episode of "House"...
Posted by: Sher | January 13, 2007 3:50 PM
"Oh we'll be fine, Eve already has a deal with a douche company."
Posted by: NCLee | January 13, 2007 5:25 PM
"Hey, the only way to deal with this is with a battalion of trained manicurists. And, oh yeah, tell that Roto-Rooter guy he left his snake behind."
Posted by: Tim H | January 13, 2007 5:44 PM
The good news is, it's a buyers' market. And our next place won't have an association with stupid rules to follow.
Posted by: Amy | January 13, 2007 6:18 PM
"Oh believe me we're better off. He's a total control freak."
Posted by: NAMBY | January 13, 2007 7:28 PM
"Did Adam have a navel? Did Eve? Perhaps we will never know. It all depends on how God "made" man: if he was grown in some kind of artificial womb -- if is DNA were made first and then allowed to grow -- then he probably would. Although, one would think that God would give him a more perfect navel than one from an umbilical cord tied in a knot. However, the Bible only refers to have Adam and Eve as fully-grown adult humans, so if they were made piecemeal and assembled somehow, then possibly they would not have a navel at all. These same arguments can be applied to Eve."
Posted by: Jason Olshefsky | January 13, 2007 8:25 PM
The weather service just issued a Severe Denunciation Warning for our area.
Posted by: CheekyGeek | January 20, 2007 1:06 AM
Apparently he doesn't like Eve's tattoo.
Posted by: CheekyGeek | January 20, 2007 1:22 AM