The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #79

"That's funny. I thought Fred was on vacation."

Posted by: Tim H | December 11, 2006 9:48 AM

I'm never voting a straight surrealist ticket again.

Posted by: Will | December 11, 2006 10:00 AM

"Christ, what an asshole."

Posted by: Ted | December 11, 2006 10:00 AM

"Unbelievable! How are wheelchair users supposed to cross this street without a curb cut?"

Posted by: Slide | December 11, 2006 10:04 AM

You should have seen it last week -- he put bars in the window to make it seem like a jail cell.

Posted by: 99 | December 11, 2006 10:20 AM

"I'm confused."

"It's been like this ever since the city lifted its ban on surrealism."

"And all this time I thought gravity only worked in one direction."

"The way it works is that there are only sparse patches of bricks, allowing the building to easily lay on its side."

Posted by: Hookah | December 11, 2006 10:40 AM

"What beautiful flowers."

"The builder was a former emporer who laid on his side in a toga directing
his workers."

"I'm not going to bother. Why in the hell would they
want to buy awnings?"

"Penthouse, my ass!"

Posted by: Greg | December 11, 2006 11:05 AM

"Just as we thought. Red curtains. Christ, don't these people ever read their condo association bylaws? Oh, well, let's write up the citation."

"I've never understood why people just stare out of windows like that. Get a job, asshole!"

"As an aside, like me tell you that my sideline is sideswiping sidecars. Now, let's sidle off to the sidebar on the Lower East Side, where I've got inside information on a curbside sidearm distributor."

"I disagree. While the Fire Department could, in fact, reach a hose from the hydrant to the top FLOOR of this building quite easily, the top of the BUIDLING is clearly inaccessible. Which way is the Fire Code written? Oh, it does say 'top floor.' Okay, I guess they have us there."

Posted by: Trout Almondine | December 11, 2006 11:08 AM

"Man, that's gotta be the lamest urban mural I've ever seen."

"You know, you're right - the city really does look different when you see it from one of these moving sidewalks."

Posted by: Vance | December 11, 2006 11:17 AM

"We're actually standing on the wall, and that building is vertical. It's a clever optical illusion."

Posted by: Fingblatt | December 11, 2006 11:18 AM

Does your incestuous twin lover know how hard you work to keep a wall over your heads?

Posted by: SK | December 11, 2006 11:22 AM

"Looks like Johnson is falling down on the job again."

"How do they go to the bathroom in there?"

"Yeah, and you know what else is strange? I haven't seen a single car all morning."

Posted by: gary | December 11, 2006 11:50 AM

"My ex-wife puts the whore in whore-izontal. Hey, look at this weird building."

Posted by: J.D. | December 11, 2006 12:03 PM

"Yeah, the rent's high. But I get roof access!"

Posted by: J | December 11, 2006 12:04 PM

"Now there's someone who really isn't letting the still-extensive devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina get to them."

Posted by: Francis | December 11, 2006 12:06 PM

�They�re decals, actually, left over from the Koch administration. The building is landmarked, so the owner can�t take them down.�

Posted by: Deborah | December 11, 2006 12:08 PM

"Do you need me to push that building back up for you?"

Posted by: Francis | December 11, 2006 12:08 PM

"Oh, for goodness' sake. Mr. Ward! Mr. West! Back on the sidewalk, please!"

Posted by: J | December 11, 2006 12:10 PM

"Well, it's nice to see that 'Thongs ' r ' Us' was able to get that corner location on the street level that they've been hankering for."

Posted by: Tim H | December 11, 2006 12:18 PM

"That old man is hung like a horse."

Posted by: J.D. | December 11, 2006 12:20 PM

"Smithers you idiot, I asked for an 'apartment listing,' not an 'apartment that's listing.' "

Posted by: al in la | December 11, 2006 12:36 PM

"I heard that the bank put a lien on this place."

Posted by: al in la | December 11, 2006 12:42 PM

"'Earthquake coverage, who needs that in Manhattan?' Who's laughing now, asshole?"

Posted by: Patrick Broderick | December 11, 2006 12:42 PM

Is that Arnold Schwarzenegger's cock?

Posted by: anonymous | December 11, 2006 12:43 PM

"Who cares about Schwarzenegger's cock? Everybody knows that back in the day he was a bottom."

Posted by: J.D. | December 11, 2006 1:04 PM

"I know it's a bad rug, but I'm afraid if I don't wear it I'll be mistaken for TV's Richard Deacon more often than you are even."

Posted by: J.D. | December 11, 2006 1:34 PM

"Suddenly I've an overwhelming desire to appreciate a glass of Sanford's 2002 estate-bottled Pinot Noir Van Gris."

Posted by: J | December 11, 2006 1:40 PM

"M.C. Escher, that's his favorite M.C."

Posted by: Slide | December 11, 2006 1:51 PM

"Ooh, two-ply pella windows. We put those in our beach house out on the island, cut the bill down by 23%."

Posted by: Will | December 11, 2006 1:56 PM

I know it's odd, but you get used to Roosevelt Island after a while.

Posted by: Ted | December 11, 2006 1:56 PM

"Some huge chick from a previous cartoon knocked it over."

Posted by: al in la | December 11, 2006 2:15 PM

"I always said if the Upper West Side leaned any further to the left it could fall over."

Posted by: al in la | December 11, 2006 2:22 PM

I wish I could bring myself to care about this.

Posted by: Charles | December 11, 2006 3:10 PM

"Missed me!"

Posted by: Francis | December 11, 2006 3:13 PM

I've been seeing a woman on the side. She lives here.

Posted by: Walt | December 11, 2006 3:32 PM

"God, I hate Chelsea."

Posted by: Will | December 11, 2006 3:39 PM

"Well, I'll have to think about it. The rent is fair and I like that it has a gym, but I still can't get over that it's 6 blocks from the nearest subway stop."

Posted by: Will | December 11, 2006 3:41 PM

"Hey, I just noticed something really weird. Somebody has put black dots all over the street."

Posted by: Ted | December 11, 2006 3:44 PM

"Pay me the money, Mr. Swinbourne! You don't want to know what I'll do next time if I have to come back!"

Posted by: TimTim | December 11, 2006 3:46 PM

I guess it's better than an empty lot, but I still think having the Public Art Fund spend $2 million on this was a waste of money.

Posted by: Jesse | December 11, 2006 3:47 PM

Didn't that used to be a deli?

Posted by: Tom Hogg | December 11, 2006 4:02 PM

"Are you the fellas who called earlier, inquiring about the stuff in the window? The two surfboards and novelty rubber ice cream cones that'll stick to anything? Excuse my position. The twink I hired for the afternoon tied me upside down to the sex swing and then ran off with my valuables."

Posted by: David John | December 11, 2006 4:27 PM

"Somehow this isn't what I pictured when I heard about the redesign of the Freedom Tower. It's rather depressing, and, as such, unfunny."

Posted by: RichM | December 11, 2006 5:14 PM

"Could you move about 3 feet closer? We can't hear you with all this traffic noise."

Posted by: David | December 11, 2006 5:39 PM

"That's the first concrete sign of the real estate market going sideways."

Posted by: Phelps Clark | December 11, 2006 5:41 PM

"All those douche bags who loved 'Sideways' are moving into these buildings."

"Funny you should ask. The main thing is, stay on the seat until you flush."

Posted by: TOD | December 11, 2006 5:47 PM

"Oh. I almost forgot - Gerard is an anti-Newtonist."

Posted by: TOD | December 11, 2006 5:56 PM

"Oh. I almost forgot - Gerard is an anti-Newtonist."

Posted by: TOD | December 11, 2006 5:56 PM

Do you think he's going to jump?

Posted by: simsburybear | December 11, 2006 6:17 PM

"God dammit. What will Al Qaeda think of next?"

Posted by: Pandyora | December 11, 2006 6:44 PM

"Excuse me sir-- where do you put your legs?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that building, and everything in it, was sideways."

Posted by: Rubrick | December 11, 2006 6:55 PM

When a building falls in the city and no one is there to hear it, does it...wait, let's ask this guy.

Posted by: nk | December 11, 2006 7:04 PM

That's impossible. Nobody can sit that close to a wall. Wait. Maybe he's a dwarf or an amputee. Yeah, that would make sense. I must say, it's a little disorienting.
I wish I didn't have such an eye for detail.

Posted by: Amy | December 11, 2006 7:04 PM

"We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. In your case, we were a bit heavy-handed with the horizontal. Sorry about that."

Posted by: Rubrick | December 11, 2006 7:05 PM

ok man, you distract the alien and I'll take the specimen flora and run back to the ship, just remember don't mention anything about gravity or he'll get suspicious.

Posted by: nk | December 11, 2006 7:16 PM

Didn't that window have three plants in it last week? Awww, it must not have been doing so well, poor little thing.

Posted by: nk | December 11, 2006 7:21 PM

"Here's the problem with your offer, Perkins. It's blatently obvious to me which rectangle is different from the other 3, and I've already had sex with your daughter."

Posted by: David | December 11, 2006 7:47 PM

It looks like Dick Cheney has vandalized another public street... Possibly out of protest to this sideways building.

Posted by: JB | December 11, 2006 8:07 PM

Christ ... Frank Gehry is such an asshole.

Posted by: Dashiell | December 11, 2006 8:34 PM

Hey, look! It's Dr. Phil. No...wait. Maybe it's Jeffry Tambor. Christ, I can't tell those two apart.

Posted by: AJS | December 11, 2006 9:46 PM

"I think this is what they call 'art.'"

Posted by: KG | December 11, 2006 10:40 PM

"Holy crap, that building is sideways!"

Posted by: John Tabin | December 11, 2006 11:07 PM

"This is the most desirable address in the city. Gravity is rotated 90 degrees inside the building, which is very unusual, but the real selling point is that there are absolutely no negroes living here."

Posted by: John Tabin | December 11, 2006 11:17 PM

Hey, Ed, how many dogs do you think have pissed on that fire hydrant? A thousand? Ten thousand? Jesus, Ed, I have to stop dropping acid, it's fucking me up, man...

Posted by: potsy | December 11, 2006 11:18 PM

"So it does matter how a contractor rolls out the blueprints."

"It's all to avoid Chinese food menus under the door."

"Hey, you know what this reminds me of? A cartoon I once saw in The New Yorker."

Posted by: Nell S. | December 12, 2006 12:50 AM

Excuse me sir, you can't park your RV there...

Posted by: M Murphy | December 12, 2006 1:05 AM

"I never thought I'd say this, but... standing on the sidewalk here gives me new respect for P.C. Vey's mastery of perspective."

(With apologies to Rubrick.)

Posted by: Anonymous | December 12, 2006 1:10 AM

"Yes, sir, you heard me correctly. Gutter Guards are guaranteed to keep your gutters free from debris, or your money back!"

Posted by: mypalmike | December 12, 2006 1:28 AM

"This building is a very attractive purchase -- only half the apartments are still rent stabilized, occupied by the same middle- and working-class tenants for over thirty years. You could easily get rid of them, make a few cosmetic changes, claim capital improvements and jack the rent up 500%. All it would take is a little ruthless harrassment, that is, burying them in specious eviction actions in New York City housing court which has become notoriously friendly toward corrupt landlords. At the same time you could claim you must make emergency repairs week after week thereby tearing things up and making their lives a living hell. If you decide to buy I can put you in touch with several soulless law firms that specialize in just this sort of thing. Obvious as these despicable tactics are, there really are no legal consequences to acting in such a completely unethical and immoral fashion. Word is out: it's Bloomberg time."

Posted by: J.D. | December 12, 2006 2:01 AM

"I know Smithers always leaned a little to the right, but this is excessive."

Posted by: M Murphy | December 12, 2006 2:47 AM

Boy, they don't make 'em like that anymore.

Posted by: King Ed Ra | December 12, 2006 3:29 AM

"Too much tilt, not enough whirl."

Posted by: Francis | December 12, 2006 3:43 AM

Trompe l'oeil is SO last century.

Posted by: Amy | December 12, 2006 9:20 AM

I guess 'building up' is no longer an option.

Posted by: Bill Kay | December 12, 2006 9:33 AM

My mother-in-law lived here. Until a house fell on her! Ha!

Posted by: Eric | December 12, 2006 9:54 AM

"Is this some kind of a joke?"

"It's actually a very tall building in Shanghai but the curvature of the Earth makes it look like it's sideways on East 21st Street."

"They never should have let Robert Moses redesign Pisa."

"This building has a great view of the sun sliding toward the verizon."

"It's built on an ancient cartoonists' burial ground."

Predicted real life winner: "My girlfriend doesn't understand my text messages."

Posted by: TG Gibbon | December 12, 2006 11:06 AM

I think I went to high school with that guy.

Posted by: Will | December 12, 2006 11:12 AM

"Huh. Where's the door?"

Posted by: Dan McCoy | December 12, 2006 12:16 PM

"Dude, I'll bet if we unscrew this hydrant, that sideways asshole will get totally soaked!"

Posted by: Dan McCoy | December 12, 2006 12:18 PM

"Check out those windows. The apartments must have really low ceilings."

Posted by: Dan McCoy | December 12, 2006 12:21 PM

"I always get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I have to walk past this hurricane toppled building. Not so much from the sheer devastation of it, but because the landlord is fucking my wife."

Posted by: David John | December 12, 2006 12:27 PM

"I've isolated from any context that old bromide, 'It is no measure of good health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society,' and use it to rationalize my descent into alcohol- and drug-induced madness."

Posted by: J.D. | December 12, 2006 12:44 PM

"They put all the walk-up windows at the wrong height."

"You mean you haven't spoken to your brother since he came out, I mean, switched orientation?"

"Something about this block gives me the creeps."

"An open first floor window is like an open invitation to thieves."

"The flowers here are obscene."

Posted by: LV | December 12, 2006 2:01 PM

Seriously? Those flowers are made of silk?

Posted by: Robin | December 12, 2006 2:04 PM

"A few years ago. It was was a no-bid contract that went to Halliburton. Why do you ask?"

Posted by: al in la | December 12, 2006 3:08 PM

I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!

Posted by: npm | December 12, 2006 4:14 PM

[Apologies to KG]

"Now this is what they call 'art.' ...though I don't know why they do, as his actual name is Jeremiah."

Posted by: Anonymous | December 12, 2006 4:27 PM

"Boy, this new automat leaves a LOT to be desired."

Posted by: Tim H | December 12, 2006 4:36 PM

Hey, didn't there used to be quotation marks on this sidewalk?

Posted by: Marilyn | December 12, 2006 4:51 PM

"I hear some doctor tried to blow up the building in a suicide attempt, Oh, look. There he is now."

Posted by: Deborah | December 12, 2006 5:39 PM

"Christ, you're such an obscene asshole, Timmy!"

Posted by: multiple Miggs | December 12, 2006 8:57 PM

"Your WHAT is stuck in the radiator?"

Posted by: David | December 12, 2006 9:10 PM

"So the way I heard it is that they actually starting constructing the building from the roof down and when they got close to the street they ran out of room. I don�t think they build them like that anymore."

Posted by: Dex | December 12, 2006 9:19 PM

"We're really not interested in playing golf, drinking fine wine, and enjoying some really good food. We're trying to get laid!"

Posted by: Jamal | December 12, 2006 9:19 PM

You ever get the feeling God is just screwing with us?

Posted by: potsy | December 12, 2006 9:58 PM

This is what happens when you let teh gays marry.

Posted by: Maxwell Hammer | December 12, 2006 10:50 PM

"As with astronomy the difficulty of recognizing the motion of the earth lay in abandoning the immediate sensation of the earth's fixity and of the motion of the planets, so in history the difficulty of recognizing the subjection of personality to the laws of space, time, and cause lies in renouncing the direct feeling of the independence of one's own personality. But as in astronomy the new view said: 'It is true that we do not feel the movement of the earth, but by admitting its immobility we arrive at absurdity, while by admitting its motion (which we do not feel) we arrive at laws,' so also in history the new view says: 'It is true that we are not conscious of our dependence, but by admitting our free will we arrive at absurdity, while by admitting our dependence on the external world, on time, and on cause, we arrive at laws.' In the first case it was necessary to renounce the consciousness of an unreal immobility in space and to recognize a motion we did not feel; in the present case it is similarly necessary to renounce a freedom that does not exist, and to recognize a dependence of which we are not conscious."
[for David]

Posted by: J | December 12, 2006 11:38 PM

"Well I'll be. Turns out my ex-girlfriend can't fit a skyscraper up her ass sideways. Kudos to her for trying, though."

Posted by: J | December 12, 2006 11:43 PM

You know, they once filmed a movie here. When I saw it, if I hadn't know it was shot in Toronto, I would have sworn it was New York City. It's amazing what they can do these days.

Posted by: Rich | December 13, 2006 12:07 AM

"Well, it's a a nice enough neighborhood, but I wish they'd take those hot dogs off all the windows."

Posted by: Jeff | December 13, 2006 5:23 AM

"
T
h
i
s

m
u
s
t

b
e

i
t
.
"

Posted by: David | December 13, 2006 7:38 AM

"Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

Posted by: ernie | December 13, 2006 7:45 AM

[Jesus, J, how about a spoiler alert? Christ.]

Posted by: TG Anonymous | December 13, 2006 11:05 AM

"Hmmm...you'd think that a town that had nice paved streets, decent sidewalks and a working fire hydrant would have more than two buildings."

Posted by: Tim H | December 13, 2006 11:10 AM

All he wanted was a room somewhere far away from the cold night air with one enormous chair, and I'll be goddamned if he didn't find it.

Posted by: SK | December 13, 2006 11:45 AM

As a recovering alcoholic, I shouldn't be exposed to this sort of thing. I once saw a building upside-down and I was blotto for a month or so.

Posted by: SK | December 13, 2006 11:55 AM

Realty...reality, what's the difference? One lousy letter.

Posted by: SK | December 13, 2006 11:57 AM

These anti-gravity shoes really work.

Posted by: G. Boozer | December 13, 2006 12:38 PM

"This place was on the market forever. I can't believe they finally found a buyer who both loves to sit in windows, AND suffers from crippling earwax in the left ear."

Posted by: David John | December 13, 2006 12:51 PM

"Say hello to Carl Gable. The New Yorker likes his view on things."

Posted by: Thomas Byrne | December 13, 2006 1:07 PM

"Welcome to Curitiba."

Posted by: mypalmike | December 13, 2006 3:00 PM

"Well, we'd better figure out how to get in there soon -- these pamphlets and copies of 'The Watchtower' aren't going to distribute themselves."

"People said I was a fool to build it that way, and you know what? They were right."

"The way it works is, Nathan Lane lives on the ground floor, and he pulls focus from everything in the building toward himself."

"Y'know, things have been like this ever since Congress decreed that Newton's Theory of Gravitation can't be taught in schools."

Posted by: Tim C. | December 13, 2006 4:11 PM

As a newcomer to South Bend, the first thing worth knowing is we all revile and torment Quasimodovitz, the extreme sideways hunchback of Notre Dame. Specifically of Notre Dame's School of Special-Needs Architecture, where he is Associate Provost.

Posted by: dean | December 13, 2006 6:33 PM

"Apology accepted"

Posted by: Rubrick | December 13, 2006 8:15 PM

"My wife sees everything in black and white. I want a divorce."

Posted by: David | December 13, 2006 10:05 PM

"Tell me again what you said about the union."

Posted by: Dex | December 14, 2006 12:00 AM

"Jesus, someone sure has scuffed up all these windowpanes. It's almost like they want them to look dirty!"

Posted by: Vance | December 14, 2006 2:04 AM

"It was a brilliant compromise between the city, which has deemed this a historic building, and the current tenants, who wanted to install vinyl sliding glass windows."

Posted by: mypalmike | December 14, 2006 2:28 AM

"What will they come up with next?"

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 5:43 AM

"This building kind of annoys me. Aren't you glad we don't live in New Jersey?"

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 5:51 AM

"His therapist says he's imagining it. And you wouldn't believe what she charges!"

"He sees the same therapist as my dog."

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 5:59 AM

"What do you say we stop walking and just stand here gape-mouthed for a little while?"

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 6:18 AM

"His contractor won't return his calls. I hear that's quite a common problem."

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 6:24 AM

"Fucking hipsters."

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 6:27 AM

"I don't believe in his right to marry."

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 6:30 AM

"bin Laden has lost his fastball."

Posted by: multiple Miggs | December 14, 2006 7:35 AM

"We're looking for a little boy who's about 'yay' high, and his mother who's about 'yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy' high. Have you seen them?"

Posted by: Rocco | December 14, 2006 7:58 AM

"Why is that guy staring at the fireplug?"

Posted by: stcoleridge | December 14, 2006 9:47 AM

"The guy in the window? That's the guy who wrote that stupid song from a few years ago. You know the one: 'I get knocked down/I get up again/No one's gonna knock me down...' I guess this is his day off."

Posted by: al in la | December 14, 2006 12:26 PM

"Double-hung windows have always been a mystery to me."

"So then, is this still a sidewalk?"

Posted by: danny | December 14, 2006 1:16 PM

"Weird. Sideways building. I'd think I was dreaming if it wasn't for the fact that none of us are naked. Everyone's always naked in my dreams. Especially the kiddies."

Posted by: David John | December 14, 2006 3:12 PM

"Did you ever notice that plaque on the side of the building? It reads: 'This is the site of the first prototype for the game show "The Hollywood Squares" (A.D. 1965)' "

Posted by: Tim H | December 14, 2006 4:12 PM

TG Gibbon, feel free to submit "Is this some kind of joke?" every week from now on. It'll have my vote.

Posted by: WV | December 14, 2006 5:57 PM

"If you're going to masturbate could you at least step away from the window so we don't have to see you do it."

Posted by: intepid | December 14, 2006 6:04 PM

"Sideways House--best tourist attraction in the city, my ass! It's a good thing we loaded up these briefcases with violent hardcore pornography, or I don't know what we'd be doing for the next thirty-five minutes until the tram comes back."

Posted by: David John | December 14, 2006 7:25 PM

Sir, we are the secret service, you are under arrest for breaking the laws of physics.

Posted by: nk | December 14, 2006 8:54 PM

"Those design-on-a-dime creeps must be in the neighborhood."

Posted by: Raghib | December 14, 2006 9:42 PM

"And this is Frank Lloyd Wright on drugs. Any questions?"

Posted by: Anonymous | December 14, 2006 9:44 PM

"He's been staring motionless for 3 days without saying a word. It's gotta be Bill Murray."

Posted by: Andrea | December 14, 2006 9:51 PM

"If you've seen one sideways building, you've seen them all. Because, uh... This is it."

Posted by: mypalmike | December 14, 2006 11:29 PM

Let's just give the guy his eviction papers and get some lunch.

Posted by: potsy | December 14, 2006 11:39 PM

"Frank, I was just about to suggest that we raise our legs and piss on this fireplug right through our trousers just so we could feel the warm urine on our flesh and watch our fluids mingle on the street -- because how else would we interact with such an object and its obvious connotations -- but as anyone can plainly see, this building is on its side, which makes no sense."

Posted by: drg | December 15, 2006 2:52 AM

"Stay calm, sir. We're going to place something large, round and soft for you to jump on as soon as my wife gets out of work."

Posted by: j.j. | December 15, 2006 7:15 AM

"I can't tell if that guy looks like a young Allen Funt or an old Ashton Kutcher."

Posted by: Anonymous | December 15, 2006 12:21 PM

I was just going to stop at putting crazy glue on his chair, but your idea to blow up the foundation just added a whole new level to it.

Looking at them up close, those bricks are drawn in.

Hey Bob, want to ride the elevator sideways?

The facade goes ride into the ground much like our chins go right into our necks.

Posted by: Joe | December 15, 2006 4:54 PM

I give up, I just don't get these David Blaine stunts anymore.

Posted by: Joe | December 15, 2006 4:57 PM

"Christ, you're such an astute person, Frank! I would have never noticed."

Posted by: Sammy | December 15, 2006 8:10 PM

"It's sad, cause it is a very well-made documentary on early New York tenement life, and the whole show-it-in-perpetuity-on-the-side-of-a-building concept was great. But as you can see, the projection system was kind of fucked."

Posted by: Vance | December 16, 2006 1:03 AM

Sure, I prefer the Mondrian to the Magritte. But aren't they both a little repetitive?

Posted by: mrgrum | December 16, 2006 6:35 AM

"Must have gone with a Rhode Island contractor."

Posted by: David | December 16, 2006 7:42 AM

"You're amazing--I can't even get my dog to do that!"

"This must be where Rex Pickett lives."

"Look at that! Watering the plants must be a challenge!"

"Don't let that building distract you, comrade! Now, which of the briefcases contains the Polonium 210?"

Posted by: David | December 16, 2006 11:52 PM

"This is a bad neighborhood. A bad, naughty, disobedient neighborhood. A bad, naughty, disobedient neighborhood that doesn't respect science! They don't deserve our encyclopedias!"

Posted by: Francis | December 17, 2006 3:19 AM

"I told them assbackwards. This is asssideways."

Posted by: Anonymous | December 17, 2006 7:49 AM

I'm just fed up with City Hall. This is the third time I've waited here with the bribe for the building inspector, and he's a no-show [i]again.[/i]

There are more subtleties to it than you might think. For instance, the elevator shafts become corridors, but depending on the floor plan and which axis you've rotated on, the doors into those shafts might become horizontal lift-gates, or trapdoors in the floor or ceiling. Corridors parallel to the rotation axis are still useable, but the perpendicular corridirs become vertical shafts. Similarly, stairs running perpendicular to the rotation axis are still useable, with treads and risers interchanged, while stairs running parallel turn into sideways corrugated walls. The wiring is fine either way, but the plumbing is always a problem, so we usually just shut that off. Funny thing is, that's usually the only thing the tenants notice.

Posted by: Walt | December 17, 2006 11:35 AM

What the fuck is [i]again[/i]? Learn to use the emphasis tag, twatwaffle.

Posted by: Walt | December 17, 2006 11:40 AM

"I don't like these at all; let's go look at the Mondrians across the street"

Posted by: stcoleridge | December 10, 2007 12:11 PM

Radosh.net

Pop. Politics. Sex. So On.

December 11, 2006

The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #79

Posted by Daniel Radosh

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