Recently, some of my fun-lovin' co-workers at The Week put together a page of photos showing which celebrities would play the staff in a hypothetical movie version. I got stuck with David Hyde Pierce. Pretty much everyone admitted this was the worst match of the bunch (whereas one editor was captured perfectly by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad), but nobody could come up with a better option.
But now, thanks to the Internets, there's face recognition software to match any picture to a celebrity database. Here's the photo I uploaded...
And here's my celebrity doppleganger...
I suppose I could live with that, but I think he's already claimed by one of the other Jews on the staff. So I clicked through to see this miraculous software's second choice...
Oh, swell. I kept clicking, and things only got worse...
...
Clearly I needed to start with a different headshot...
At least the results were different, if not necessarily better...
Fortunately, a few more clicks this time got me the perfect result...
Oh, no, wait. This is the perfect result...
But I have a life outside of the office, so I decided to cast my family in the film too. My beautiful wife Gina...
became...
OK, while we did just watch and enjoy 2046, I find it hard to see a resemblance beyond the fact that they're both wearing glasses. Click...
That might be flattering in 20 years, but let's try to look past the glasses, OK?
Jackpot! And while we're on a role, what about our lovely children...
I give up.
[Previously: The Internets finds my ideal woman.]
