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Is this the new Angel Sparks?

Nah, it's just some fan posing with the remnants of Huckapoo at a recent gig [pic via Harmony]. But I have a reason for posting this (as if I need one). What's the first thing you notice about this picture? No, not Joey's Huckaboobs. If that was the only criteria for being in the band, you'd be totally wrong about which of these girls is the star and which is the groupie.

Got it yet? Well, pretend — I know this is a stretch, but play along — that you're not completely obsessed with Huckapoo and that you're seeing them for the first time in this photo. Now, which one is the punk? The gangsta? The cheerleader? The hippie? Yeah, the one in the middle could be a hippie, but she's not in the group.

Apparently, Huckapoo has not only shed a member, they've shed their characters too. For comparison, here's the last known photograph of Classic Poo. Those are the outfits we fell in love with! (Although it suddenly seems possible that Angel's real reason for leaving the group may be on the Vargas tip.) To be fair, in the video from the above-mentioned performance you can see that Twiggy is wearing a very short skirt. I guess that doesn't make her look any more like a cheerleader, but, you know, I just thought I'd mention it.

So is this just our Huckleberries getting sloppy, or is it part of a calculated maturation process? A determination to make it on talent, rather than a gimmick. The official outlets give no help. Huckapoo.com is closed for renovations. "We're totally updating our site right now." I know— it's hard to believe someone would mess with perfection. And MySpace is still stuck in the Angel era. Although at least it's clear from their band profile that at the time, the gimmick was important to them.

They are like a new-age Spice Girls but with a different flare! They all have characters and stage-names, which makes them very unique compared to other teen groups these days. Also, in Huckapoo, there is no lead singer. Each girl sings as much as the next! These girls have talent, and are sure to hit it big!

Notice that says "as much," not "as well." Trust me, it's like the Bible: when you first read it, it just sounds like bad writing, but every word is there for a purpose. And every exclamation point.

But fear not. I hope to have more answers for you after June 10, when, using my adorable twin toddlers as a cover story, I plan to confront the Poo Bears in person at the South Street Seaport Children's Day. It won't be creepy at all. My kids are totally there to see Hi-5 (Primary Colors Huckapoo) and Big Truck (MILF Huckapoo).

Meanwhile, YouTube answers all your other Huckapoo questions:

• Would a Huckapoo concert be even better without sound?

• Would Huckapoo be even better if they were (really) anime characters?

• Would High School Musical be even better if Huckapoo was in it?

• Who is the world's bestest Huckapoo tribute band?

Sorry, I know absolutely nothing more about Backalley Huckapoo, though I sure wish I did. I suppose it's what Angel Sparks will be forced to do if Huckapoo is outlawed. Apparently the whole stage names thing isn't entirely unique, because these gals call themselves Terets, Patches, Electrc Slide and Wiggy. Terets! Totally brill! Let's hope at least they never grow out of their characters.

Posted by Daniel Radosh

2:27 PM