The Scouting Magazine Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #2

"Ta-da! Vulva!"

Posted by: J | May 31, 2006 6:47 PM

"And that's just how I'm gonna string up this Negro gal if she gets uppity."

Posted by: Rubrick | May 31, 2006 7:04 PM

"He did that same trick last week with the sausage links. Christ, what an asshole."

Posted by: Deborah | May 31, 2006 7:36 PM

"I told you I was *knot* hungry! Get it? Knot hungry?"

Posted by: Francis | May 31, 2006 9:56 PM

No that's I-tie-el-yon! Get it? I "tie?" It's really funny if you think about it. OK, I admit the "el-yon" part doesn't really fit. But otherwise, it's a fine joke. Oh yeah? Well your merit badge smells like poop. I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: Eagle | May 31, 2006 10:09 PM

"Thank goodness for the double standard forbidding gay scout leaders but allowing cannibalism. These intestines taste excellent. Also, I tied a square knot with them."

Posted by: michael | June 1, 2006 12:52 AM

A Harvard grad student presents his dissertation on graph theory.

Posted by: mypalmike | June 1, 2006 1:24 AM

"Hyuk!"

"I told you I could tie a spaghetti know with no hands, and with a baseball cap is covering my eyes. Hey guys... Hey guys where are you?"

Posted by: Anno-nymous | June 1, 2006 2:57 AM

Err... knot. Bleh.

Posted by: Anno-nymous | June 1, 2006 3:29 AM

"Mommy???? Can you fix my spaaaagheeeettiiii??? I got it in a knot again!!! MOMMY!!!!"

Posted by: Jesse Skinner | June 1, 2006 4:34 AM

Once again, little Timmy the retard placed last in the Spaghetti eating contest.

Posted by: Jesse Skinner | June 1, 2006 4:37 AM

Looks like my mom's vagina, tastes like it too. Thank you! Good night!

Posted by: Corey Anderson | June 1, 2006 7:48 AM

Merit badges?! We don't need not steeenkin' merit badges!

Posted by: Slip Whitsun | June 1, 2006 8:54 AM

"In the first draft of this, I tied a hotdog in a knot, but they rejected that. I can't for life of me figure out why."

Posted by: Eric | June 1, 2006 10:16 AM

"Bitch, that's a salad fork."

Posted by: Eric | June 1, 2006 10:17 AM

"What do you mean, 'You're a we-be-loser'? I don't get it."

Posted by: Tim C. | June 1, 2006 11:01 AM

Even in his early days as a Scout, David Blaine was an asshole and an attention-whore.

Posted by: Tim C. | June 1, 2006 11:03 AM

"... ta-da! And now I'm gonna fuck it."

"As you can see, with a simple spaghetti knot, you can distract a fellow Scout so badly, he'll stab himself in the face with his fork."

Posted by: Tim C. | June 1, 2006 11:05 AM

"Hey everybody, call of the search! I found Jeffery Hardy!"

Posted by: Vance | June 1, 2006 11:14 AM

"This is what your insides look like when you get ptomaine poisoning. You know, like Leonard Skinner did last night."

Posted by: Vance | June 1, 2006 11:15 AM

"Thank you, thank you! But this is only part of it! I also wrote a funny parody song about camping that my scoutmaster, Mr. Sherman, there in the red hat, has promised me he'll send to top record executives!"

Posted by: Vance | June 1, 2006 11:17 AM

[Note: "Call of the Search" was a failed sequel to "Call of the Wild." Just FYI.]

Posted by: Vance | June 1, 2006 11:18 AM

Doesn't that kid realize only the Girl Scouts get badges for making macrame vaginas?

Posted by: scoxsmith | June 1, 2006 1:08 PM

"I kind of like the knot
spaghetti. The campfire breadsticks aren't bad, either. This cook is much more creative than the last one we had."

Posted by: Deborah | June 1, 2006 1:56 PM

"Hey, fuckwits, check it out! It's a three dimensional representation of my screenplay!"

"Do you love me now, Dad?"

"Hur galabet, malapsanomay! Prefunct girabileff totamoo pepsidiary, Steve?" [Look at this squareknot, motherfuckers! Now who's the homeschooled retard, Steve?]

"This is knot edible!"

"I told you Christ would favor Troop Six with a sign!"

Posted by: TG Gibbon | June 1, 2006 4:11 PM

"What's that French word that means 'ta-daa?' Waa-laa? OK, then...waa-laa!"

Posted by: Ben | June 2, 2006 12:52 PM

"While I was fucking around with this spaghetti, my goddamn tooth fell out."

Posted by: Ben | June 2, 2006 12:53 PM

"I hereby dedicate this piece of art in honor of our scoutmaster, the late Phil Silvers."

Posted by: Ben | June 2, 2006 12:55 PM

This was Timmy's last happy moment before being fatally struck by lightning. This was also Billy's last happy moment, as he wished that show-off Timmy a painful death. Billy spent the rest of his life trying to cope with his powers and in retrospect he thinks, at the very least, he should have wished for sex with the den mother.

Posted by: Charles | June 2, 2006 4:30 PM

For my next trick, I will make my face white and my arms black!

Posted by: Charles | June 2, 2006 4:31 PM

"Give a republican scout spaghetti and he will eat spaghetti for one day. Teach a republican scout to catch his own spaghetti and demand a tax break that the middle class will pay for until their grandchildren are dead, and you have a Bush scout.And I don't mean that in a bad way."

Posted by: Condi | June 2, 2006 6:35 PM

"Look Ma, 'Freedom Spaghetti.'{That's my boy.}

Posted by: Nipples | June 2, 2006 7:02 PM

"Behold and weep ye unbelievers: His Noodly Appendage!"

Posted by: RichM | June 2, 2006 9:44 PM

"...and now I'll put it back *in* my nose!"

Posted by: Francis | June 3, 2006 2:09 AM

A Boston University grad student presents his thesis on string theory.

Posted by: mypalmike | June 3, 2006 3:35 AM

A Scout is Trustworthy.
If he tells you he made a macrame vulva with only his right
hand, you can believe him.
A Scout is Loyal.
If he joins a spaghetti-eating troop, he does not secretly
buy Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. If offered linguine, he politely
declines.
A Scout is Helpful.
He explains the relationship between spaghetti and genitalia to
all interested persons.
A Scout is Friendly.
He gathers others to share in the joy of faux female anatomy.
A Scout is Courteous.
He realizes there are better ways to gain attention than yelling
"Food fight!"
A Scout is Kind.
He doesn't aim right for the G-spot.
A Scout is Obedient.
It's not necessary for his partner to use rope.
A Scout is Cheerful.
He maintains a sunny disposition even when served the predictable
high-carb meal.
A Scout is Thrifty.
He won't pay more than five bucks for a Vagina Monologues
ticket.
A Scout is Brave.
He gobbles down pasta of unknown provenance.
A Scout is Clean.
He masturbates often to forestall the mess of nocturnal emissions.
A Scout is Reverent.
To avoid sin, he does not hump the macrame vulva.

Posted by: Cog in the Dissonance | June 4, 2006 1:42 AM

Since removing my front teeth to service the scoutmaster I can't eat solid food but I can do this.

Posted by: Charles | June 4, 2006 10:06 PM

"Next on VH1's 'Behind the Music,' we'll examine the life-changing events that leading up to what a young Axl Rose would later refer to as 'The Spaghetti Incident,' and ultimately one of the worst cover albums in rock 'n' roll history."

Posted by: jason | June 5, 2006 2:03 PM

"Maybe Mama's right. Maybe if I stopped playing with my food I wouldn't have such hideously malformed arms. Then I could punch her like dad!"

Posted by: MPC | June 6, 2006 2:14 PM

"Gar�on! Il semble y a un noeud dans mon linguine!"

Posted by: mypalmike | June 7, 2006 1:17 AM

"Mrs. Hederly! I am holding two plates here!"

Posted by: Mike | June 12, 2006 8:42 PM

"Mrs. Hederly! Now now! I am holding two plates here!"

Posted by: Mike | June 12, 2006 8:43 PM

"I eviscerated over 150 squirrels to get enough intestine to feed this camp, so I'll play with my food if I damn well please!"

Posted by: Adrian Wapcaplet | December 8, 2006 4:11 AM