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I prefer my children roasted without the clothes, but it's your family recipe so I'm game.

If these idiots can get the tent up, we can have this forest clear-cut in no time.

"You know what makes these nice sunsets? Pollution particles. Ironic, right?"

"They always fight for the top bunk."

"It looks like the Blair Witch was back - she left these weird berry juice stains all over the tent."

Now that we've murdered our scouts, we can enjoy our tin cups of this delicious single malt, without fear that they'll tattle on us for being drunk on the job. Yes, I see no flaw in this plan at all.

"Yep, Bob, there's something satisfying in knowing we've taught these boy scouts how to set up a tent. Let's just watch the sunset while we bask in our accomplishment."

OR:

"Yep, I'm glad we finally taught these boy scouts how to erect a dick. - a tent! Erect a tent. Phew."

Seeing these boys pitch a tent makes me pitch a tent too. By that I mean my penis gets erect. This is because I find young boys sexually attractive.

"*Some* scoutmasters would have helped these boys pitch their tent when we arrived last night. But then how would they learn self-sufficiency?"

"See what we're doing, boys? We're looking directly at the sun! You should never do this, because it will damage your eyes. Boys? Boys? Are you even paying attention? Because I'm throwing out gold here."

Your little-boy-trap was an ingenious idea, Jerry! After we rape and kill these kids, you should go patent it!

Jesus Christ...are these little monsters stupid, or what!

"Ah...the sun's going down. That means the wolves will be coming out soon!"

"Personally I have no desire to share our secret with the valley folk below, even if it is just Peace on Earth, but if the General Secretary says we must we must."

"We never got sunsets like this at Al Qaeda camp. But they had stronger coffee and duskier boys."

"Hey! You can see my stash from up here!"

"I just ignore them until one emerges dominant. Then I beat the living shit out of him with a half full canteen held by the strap. Then they know you're boss."

"Look at the jugs on that raccoon!"

"Enjoy it while it lasts up here in the mountains. Next week we ship out to the Mexican border."

Well, Joe, you were right that Timmy could hold onto that bent tent pole for over 10 minutes. Guess I owe you $10.
Unless you want to go double or nothing on how far Bobby goes flying once Timmy loses his grip? I say he makes it at least 15 feet.

"So, you seen 'Brokeback Mountain' yet?"

This reminds me of back when I was a rookie scoutleader. The kids couldn't pitch a tent worth a damn back that first night, either. But with a little tough love, by the end of the week they were all experts at wilderness survival. Sure, they did start a small forest fire, but it only took out about five acres. Course, when Smokey Bear came by he started in on some bullshit about how all fires are dangerous, even the small ones. Even threatened to report me. So I shot that fucker in the back and took his hat. Worn it ever since then. God, I love telling that story.

....yeah, but gay scouts would have erected the tent a lot quicker, don't ya think?

No, I don't think this looks like one of the scenes from "Brokeback Mountain" at all , Steve!
(see Steve | May 18, 2006 01:03 PM) posted above

"Well, would you look at that. Two racoons just humpin' away. Man, I used to fuck like that, back in the day."

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"Timmy, when we let you down, we're going to send you back to your camp with a list of four names. You bring the children on that list back here - each one of them, and no one else - and we'll let you and Johnny go free. It goes down any other way, and you'll never see Johnny alive again."

"Well, that sure is one beautiful nuclear holocaust out there, ain't it, Tom? All right, let's help these boys set up the tent."

"Hank, have you ever read Nip the Buds Shoot the Kid,s by Kenzaburo Oe? One Hell of a book, just one Hell of a book. You really should read it sometime. Change your whole outlook."

"Ahhh... there's nothin' better than watchin' a beautiful sunset while enjoying a steamin' cup of fresh boy's urine, is there, Frank?"
"Nope, Joe, there sure ain't."

"89550... 89550... someday in this enormous forest we'll finally locate that number scrawled on the ground and we'll have solved the mystery. Why, it could even happen as early as next week, don'tcha think, Frank?"
"Yep, Joe, I sure do."

Those pricks at abu ghraib got nothin' on us, nothin!

Consider this the obvious example entry that you can do better than:

"That's right, after we get the rest of them stretched out on poles and staked down, we can unzip them and air them out before we... wait a minute, I was talking about the tents, what were you talking about?"

"Ah, yes, I now know how Michael Jackson feels. "

"I love the smell of little boys in the morning. The smell, you know that tube socks and fruit rollups smell. Smells like... victory. Someday this jamboree's gonna end..."

"Boy, that bear looks like she's moving pretty fast. What say we stroll over to the lodge?"

Now that's a pole dance!

I always say the better the bait the bigger the sasquatch

"Another great Darwin lecture, Earl."

'Ze Big Twee:

"Earl, we've created a really great world for ourselves here in the middle of your father's nature reserve. And the wolf costumes are keeping the kids from investigating the perimeter, which is great, but I think it's time to tell them the truth... that the notion of a Christian God is a myth."

"Does this stance make me look fey?"

"Them boys is right natural-like. Ayup, we's has got a right good con'stituency up here a'right. I reckon we's is been teachin' all what's God done made us do. Tent pitchin' is da Lawd's work."

"I thought it was all over when they drummed me out of the priesthood, but this is even better. Okay, boys, it's merit badge time..."

I think our troop's got the Abu Gharib reenactment contest in the bag. Get it? In the bag?

"As soon as they're plumb tuckered out, we can harvest their organs and live like kings."

"Ain't no wetbacks gonna get past us! Boys, it's time to earn your riflery badges."

I guess I should have studied the manual.
Tell me, is that a sun set or a sun rise?

"If my erection lasts for more than 8 hours, I'm going to see my doctor."

"Skilling, Abramoff, Cunningham, Delay......all Boy Scouts... just chokes me up to think of it."

"And all you tell them is 'Pitch the worst possible tent for this week's camping trip.'?"

"Awwww. The troop is still so dazed from all that boy-sex that they're having trouble setting up a simple, 45-component tent."

"From now on, let's always camp next to a Starbucks."

"It's dawn and those kids still haven't put up that damn tent. On the other hand, this coffee is so good, I would have never guessed it was instant."

"Yeah, Joe, As long as the Republicans are in control, these kids will always have high-level jobs in the administration."

"I didn't even know they MADE outdoor sexual positioning apparatus!"