Submit the worst possible caption for this week's New Yorker cartoon. Click here for last week's results. Click here for an introduction and "rules" to this contest. Click here for amplification of those rules. Click here for contest index.
Results after the jump
Winner:
"Excellent question. The chairs are vinyl, and can be cleaned with a damp sponge. Now, does anyone have any questions NOT about the nudity?" �Tim C.
Finalists:
"This is the dawning of the age of some budget cuts, the age of needed budget cuuuuts! Budget cuuuuuuts! Budget cuts!" �Josh Jacobson
�You, you�re the problem! All of you! It used to be about the pride of doing a good job, the comradery between co-workers, the satisfaction that came from providing quality goods and services at a fair price. We used to make something other than money, here, but now � now it�s all about profit margins and needless expansion and �meeting our numbers.� Because we have to please you nitwits. There used to be something called �loyalty� in this country. But you, you keep staring at those up-to-the-minute crawls, you keep your broker on speed-dial. You just want to know when it�s going to be the right time to cash out and jump on the Next Big Thing. You � all of you � you make me sick, and I�m going to walk right the hell out of here, just as soon as I�ve finished fucking this lectern.� � J
Last week, I inadvertently selected two captions from the same person as the winner and a finalist. That was not technically against the rules, because there were no rules at the time. Now there is a single rule: while you may continue to submit as many captions as you like, only one caption per person will be honored. I call this the Tim C. rule, and it comes just in time. In addition to Tim C.'s unprecedented two-in-a-row win this week, any of the following from him could easily have been finalists:
"If you keep your eye on the dot in our logo, you'll get a delightful surprise! Unless you're expecting my penis to pop out of it. In which case, it will merely be delightful."
"We'd especially like to welcome the camera crew from HBO's 'Real Sex'. Apparently, they heard that we were unappealing and naked, and that's like catnip for those people."
"This year, we had losses of $3 million, partially offset by the fee we're currently earning from Spencer Tunick."
"And the motion to add Michelle Trachtenberg to our board carries by unanimous assent!"
