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"I don't mind the rabbit suit but what's with the rabbit droppings?"

"I can't believe the rest of us forgot it's Dress Like a Rabbit Day."

"Don't you think it's about time the rest of you got contact lenses, too?"

"Jenkins is the one who dresses like a rabbit, but Henderson's actually the one whose eyesight is good enough to read that memo over Jenkins' shoulder from five feet away."

There goes Peter Cottontail, master of the Powerpoint presentation.

Looks like he needs to use spell check.

"Happy Bunny Day!"

"I thought he said he was studying to be a *rabbi*."

"That outfit is going to look ridiculous with a parrot on the shoulder."

"Damn, that's a big rabbit."

Predicted real-life winner (if it's not something to do with casual Fridays):
"And hop to it!"

"Yeah, no, he failed it. So, six more weeks of winter. Or he's pregnant. I can never remember which one."

"Wow, where'd he get that briefcase?"

"These captions are a lot less funny when submitted en masse."

"Those new fall hemlines have me all confused."

"Nice ass."

Steve is really taking the merger with Easter to heart.

"What's with Bob? He looks like something out of a New Yorker cartoon."

"I thought rabbits had hooves. You say that's wrong? You know, now that I think about it, maybe you're right. I should have said, 'I thought rabbits had hoofs.'"

You're damn right I gave him a pink slip. He was looking at porn on company time.

---

Got fired, eh Mike? Guess this is a bad time to tell you, but since I might never see you again, I might as well fess up. I......I've been sleeping with your wife. It started last year, at the Chrismas party. You got pulled away by the boss for that emergency meeting during the party, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We wanted to end it, but the thing is, we love each other. We really do. She hasn't been away on buisness the last few days like she told you, Mike. She's moved in. I know this is kind of bad timing, and I know you'll never be able to forgive me, but for what it's worth......I'm sorry.

"I can't wait until Alito gets approved so that we can once and for all get rid of these affirmative-action hirees."

That bunny just ain't right.

I'd do him.

He never got over Playboy closing their clubs.

Oh thank GOD. I heard he was rabid.

"Oh, I don't know. Donnie Darko touched me in a strange way, too."

"Yeah, now that you mention it, he DOES match the carpet."

Miss Pankit sure has a nose for guys who like to hump like rabbits.

"Dibs on the briefcase."

RLW
"what's he thinking. it's well past labor day and that's his summer coat."
or perhaps:
"he's not nearly as effective when he's molting."

"see the hole under the tail. he's been moonlighting at the rest stop."

Who put all these tiny dots on the floor? You guys KNOW I hate tiny dots. Don't try to blame it on that rabbit guy. He just reads that piece of paper over and over again. That's his JOB, ass-wipes. Jesus, I hate myself.

"I guess Johnson's first getting a chance to read the memo about the new dress code policy now."

"Apparently Johnson got some tail last night."

"Johnson's wife really likes her Rabbit."

"Johnson only wears glasses so that he'll look smart."

"Wouldja look at that - Johnson took off his man suit!"

"Why is Eugene Levy peaking around the corner of that office?"

"I'm planning on beating the shit out of that cross-species-dressing piece of shit at lunchtime."

"carbon fiber tail, eight inch ears, genuine tortoise briefcase, he's livin' the dream."

"Y'know Bob, convincing the new guy to dress like a rabbit was a stroke of genius, but don't you think the 'Kick Me' sign was gilding the lily a bit?"

"What's up, doc?"

"Fur is murder!"

"I don't know, Sally just handed him that note and he hopped out of the board meeting muttering, 'I'm late, i'm late, for a very important date!'"

"Wait a second. There's no rabbit in 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,' is there?"

"Man, that was one tough divorce settlement."

"Poor Johnson. The old man just handed the entire midwest region to a guy in a moose outfit."

"Well, Cassidy, I guess I owe you a fin: Turns out Mr. Kent WOULD dare fire a man in a rabbir suit."

"I had a bad hare day once. NOT FUN."

"That briefcase looks like it contains very important documents."

"He's coming to the part where we confess to injecting him with the urine of a pregnant mare."

"What is that aftershave he's wearing? I definitely want to go purchase a bottle for myself."

"Looks like someone was able to fix him up with the directions to Ho West."

"Evidently 'what happens in Orlando doesn't stay in Orlando.' Um, wait, Bugs Bunny was Warner Brothers, not Disney, right? so I should have said 'What happens in Burbank....' Dude, where are you going?"

"I don't care if you're allergic, it's rude to wipe your nose on the door."

"that profit sharing memo is like a carrot on a stick for bob."

"you can't judge a book by it's cover, but i bet you he's a fucking pervert."

"I'd like to ask him if his ball bag swings freely inside that getup. It would give me something to think about during the day."

"Every couple of weeks he puts that on and strolls through accounting just to remind them that he nailed all of their wives."

Ya gotta respect a guy who can wear a fuzzy rabbit suit to a prestigious place of employment, casually walk by fellow employees pretending to read a memo, while he purposely ignores the stares and whispers that ensue.

"he's paranoid about identity theft."

"Johnson has been on that all lettuce and carrot diet for a while now, he looks great!"

With paws that big, you know Smith has got to have a giant cock.

Given the size of Smith's cock, I can't say I'm surprised to see such big paws.

"Don't look at me, I'm just the gay friend."

"Y'know, these elaborate disguises might work for Dick Cheney, IF he could curb his compulsion to sign his name on the floor wherever he goes."

"Hey! Faggot! What's with the bunny outfit? Don't act like you can't hear me! Get back here and answer me! Fag! Faggotty-fag fag!"

"Huh. He did mention a 'paternity suit,' but I didn't expect this."

"We are all responding to a very loud noise heard off-panel to the left. Our colleague's unusual attire is irrelevant to the piece."

"We live in a universe merely fifteen paces square. We are bound not by walls or panels; our reality simply ceases to be, making a transition to a formless ether that is simultaneously gradual yet stark."

"Steve likes to wear a bunny suit. It is either the result of his unusual stupidity, a sexual deviance that we often describe graphically, or a visual pun that was probably not worth all the effort he put into it."

Am I the only one not wearing glasses? Jesus. Could I fit in any less?!

"Semper fi, motherfuckers, semper fi."

"Rabbit suit, eh? Fuck."

"I hope you like hotdog suits because that was the last rabbit one, Edward Hermann."

"These new sumptuary laws were written by a genius. I've never been so happy to be so poor."

Predicted real life winner: "I told him not to take the Times' style section so seriously."

"If you could get that report back to me by 3 I could still tighten it up for Stuart by tomorrow. Thanks, Steve, you strange, strange, man."

"He's hiding from Patrick FitzGerald."

"That's the worst kangaroo suit I've ever seen Steve wear."

"Stop staring, new guy. It's just business as usual here at Schlemeel, Schlemazel, Hasenfeffer Incorporated."

"Who? Oh, that's Harvey from Accounting... He's a pookah."

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. "

"Him? Oh, that's Daniel Radosh. He's just now getting the memo that the New Yorker holiday party is not, in fact, a costume party."

"Do you ever get the feeling you're the only guy in your all-male office without glasses, but also one of three who is not wearing a bunny suit, and that pieces of paper and briefcases are distributed to us in pairs? I do."

"So I have a paper, you have a briefcase, he has both of those and a bunny suit. Then this other guy peeks around the corner, bunny-man walks out of the frame, and a too-smart for his own good 27 year old in california chuckles slightly."

"Ebenezer, we are the three ghosts of Christmas. You have been drinking non-stop since clara left you, and we're going to send you an intervention notice in outlook."

"Oh my gosh! It's the man in the rabbit suit that killed my wife!"

It's hard not to comment when a guy dressed as a rabbit carrying a briefcase walks down your hallway at the office, but sometimes the comic power of an absurd visual can only be cheapened by an attempt to attach some clever bon mot to the image. Nonetheless, if I had to comment -- and I can see by your eager anticipation that I must -- I would say, "Hares something you don't see everyday."

"Whoa - am I crazy, or is Fred casually walking down the hall wearing a rabbit suit while juggling radioactive popsicles?"

"Let's get some lunch reservations at Paolo's. I suddenly have an appetite for rabbit stuffed with human."

"Someone really should tell Bob his suit's on backwards. The puff ball should be in front, obscuring the curves of his genitalia."

"Eh, what's up, Doug?"

I wonder if he's upset with all the new rabbit fur carpet.

"It's because Tom Cheney and Mike Twohy had the same art teacher."

Silly Rabbit. The office whore won't even let him buy a blow job. Doesn't he know tricks are for kids?

"We get it, Bob. You need a raise to buy some shoes. Can you cover up that foot now? It's starting to stink up the office."

"Poor bastard. He carries the 'rabbit's foot' in his briefcase for good luck."

"Wrong floor, buddy. The medical office is on the tenth floor."

"We get it, Bob. You need a raise to buy some shoes. Can you cover up that foot now? It's starting to stink up the office."

"Poor bastard. He carries the 'rabbit's foot' in his briefcase for good luck."

"Wrong floor, buddy. The medical office is on the tenth floor."

I don't care if Jesus Christ walks by -- Get back in that office and finish that report!!!

"Is it just me, or does this door jamb smell like rabbit poop?"

"man, he takes singing telegrams seriously"

“the pediatric aids unit? you go down the hall past the man in the rabbit suit. take a left down the stairs. you go through the orphaned elderly clinic. we call these very sick patients orphaned because they have no living family left. anyway, you continue straight, past oncology to the elevators. go to the very bottom floor. that's the pediatric aids unit. although, i have to warn you. there have been a lot of cuts in the state’s social services budget so it can get a little depressing down there."

"larry, i know your just trying to fit in, but you're supposed to jerk off to *playboy* bunnies."

"look at the floor, there are sparkles everywhere. bob, if your gonna continue to wear that rabbit suit, you have to get those sparkles attached so they don't wind up all over the floor. larry, call custodial and get someone up here to get this cleaned up."

AE:
"From what I understand, a planeload of lawyers went down in the Galapagos Islands back in the 40's."

"He gets away with a lot because he blew Priceline away with the 03/04 campaign."

"What the fuck? Classic moment! Classic moment."

Before you go in to talk to the managing partner -- not to shake your confidence or anything -- but I thought I might point out that the phrase is actually, "busy as a beaver."

As long as you feed him and clean his office, yes, you can keep him.

"Who let the dogs out? WHOOMP! There it is! Whazzzzzzzzzup?"

"Rick is legally blind, but does everything to keep others from knowing. Like reading intently while walking surefootedly through familiar corridors--the large feet function as canes I'm guessing. The ears form the letter "v", which is downright cryptic. and they seem to have nothing to do with the blindness... "

"Wow, his feet really fill out those footsies."

"No, no, that's a hare. There's a difference."

"Now I don't feel so bad about my enormous thighs."

"Omigod! ... Harvey???"

"I refuse to lose another girlfriend because of this company."

"I refuse to lose another girlfriend because of this company."

"I refuse to lose another girlfriend because of this company."

Yep, poor Bob. They had to let him go for all those mistakes he made with the company's budget. He kept multiplying too much.

Let's beat him and take the suit. I bet it would soak up a lot of the blood in the breakroom.

"He fucks like one, too."
"When should we tell him this is the Duracell office?"
"He hasn't been the same since Glenn Close boiled his son in a pot."
"Tomorrow I'm going to dress up like a tortoise and race him to the bathroom."

"What do you think Paul...invite those two to the next Men's Christian Fellowship meeting? A Jew and a Pagan should spice things up and I for one would welcome that."

"now that's a rabbit hole i'd like to go down, mmmMMM. uh, i mean, did you see that fucking game this weekend. wow, that was a good fucking game.

"oh, my, god. on the side of his briefcase. it's the virgin mary. weeping."

"hey, where's echo, you fucking pussy."

"Pete's an okay guy, but just watch out when he starts to get 'yiffy.'"

"Did I tell you we had to get rid of Juanita, the maid? Yeah, I think she was stealing from us. And Janet never liked her anyway."

"Oh him? He says he's doing it for charity, but everybody fucking knows why he really does it, the fucking perv."

"He gets away with a lot because he blew Priceline away with the 03/04 campaign." - CAPTION RESCINDED

"That guy? He's the CEO. I know he went through a lot of shit last year about all those lay-offs, but he's actually a really good guy. He's down to earth; he's got a family and kids - he's just like you or me, really."

"I really really want to have sex with that man in the rabbit suit."

"How are we going to create a professional, business-oriented atmosphere at this high school when the principal keeps 'losing' these stupid bets to the students?"

No, it's not a real rabbit. Just a man with a fluffy tail, coping with his deformity as best he can.

"do you think he has a giant exercise wheel in his office? ha ha ha. and a giant water bottle with the long metal spout. ha ha ha. you think he has to put newspaper down around his desk? ha ha ha. oh man that's funny. ha ha ha. oooh baby, good stuff."

We said we'd support him in achieving his life goals when we found out about the tumor, but damn if he didn't turn out to have some weird motherfucking goals.

I blow half of corporate during the Christmas party and Jenkins gets the fucking promotion. I remember when a degree from Yale used to mean something

"His one mistake was not wearing a parrot."

"Look at his stiff ears. They're embarrassing to everyone."

"He had to take his suit to the dry cleaners after the parrot crapped on it. The three men on the board wanted him to stay but the four women voted him out. And now the minotaur wants to meet him at the bar."

He may have a bunny suit but _I_ was Hasty Pudding at Harvard! Because I'm a big whiny baby. And probably gay but I won't know that until I mature enough to have sexual feelings. I also secretly vote Republican and enjoy the television show According To Jim. Both ironically. And I killed my grandmother (picnic, bare hands).

Who's the queer in the rabbit suit?

Yesterday I told him I'd wear mine, too. But I don't even own one.

"Now *this* is an unfunny caption!"

"Yes, and that's not the only way you and he are alike."

"his late wife was a rabbit. He had her skinned and now he wears her around everywhere."

"I understand the Times is working up a story about the guy in bunny suit, but Bill Keller is going to sit on it for year."

"are you thinking what i'm thinking? you know, bunny snuff film."

"he lost a bet."

"Look, Hendrik! Mr. Remnick is hallucinating that Mr. Trillin is a giant bunny again! Yes, the New Yorker."

It could be worse. I could have hired a minority.

Man! do you guys see that? No, not Johnson in the rabbit suit- but directly in front of Johnson and just out of the viewing area of this cartoon.

Hey look. There goes that fucking unfunny cartoonist Tom Cheney in his fucking bunny suit again. I wonder if he's going to submit that "man in office wearing bunny suit" cartoon again? I should erase his caption just to piss him off.

"We really need some wall art."

"This reminds me of a nursery rhyme my grandmother used to tell me:

'Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.

Down came the good fairy and she said:

'Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you three chances,
And if you don't stop
I'll turn you into a goon!'

So the very next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.

Down came the good fairy and she said:

'Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you two more chances,
And if you don't stop
I'll turn you into a goon!'

So the next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.

Down came the good fairy and she said:

'Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you one more chance,
And if you don't stop
I'll turn you into a goon!'

So the next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.

Down came the good fairy and she said:

'Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I gave you three chances
And you didn't stop. And now I'm going to turn you into a goon.'

And POOF! She turned him into a goon!

And the moral of the story is:
HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW.

God, that brings back memories. My grandmother died of a massive heart attack when I was six. I was the only one at home with her at the time. I didn't call 911 or anything, I just sat there on her lap hoping she'd wake back up. My parents were vacationing in Vermont and wouldn't be back until the following Sunday. When they returned, my mom found grandma and threw up right on the rug in front of her. Then she sobbed for three days straight. My parents divorced less than a year later. It all worked out for the best in the end, because apparently my grandma had sexually abused my mom, and after her death my mom saw a therapist and was able to come to terms with the sexual abuse and her lesbianism. Now she's been with Beth, her partner, for over 26 years.

OK, I gotta get back to work. See you later. Meet you at Applebees at 12:30?"

Peter Drucker, 1909 - 2005

Hunh. I never would have figured Miller as the hip hop type.

Is that a carrot in his pocket or is he just happy to see us?

Bunny bunny bunny bunny. Tortoise!

"he's like a 9th degree blackbelt or something. anyways, he wears that rabbit suit so people will give him shit. then he beats them senseless. then he blows them at gunpoint. then he bores them about how ironic their situation is. so yeah, that guy *is* a little wierd."

"I could swear he's wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys... I lost my rabbit suit to Jim in the poker game last night. I still can't believe it. My wife's going to kill me."

That rabbit suit is made completely out of human skin. I think the ears are made from Smith, since he hasn't turned up to work today.

What do you expect, his mother is a rabbit and his father an accountant.

"suicide bomber, everyone down!!! shoot him in the head!!!"

"You have to admit he's right, Greg.... your personality does suck."

"There goes Tim toward the room where it looks like a meeting will be held with papers rustling and shuffling....some light banter and serious talk as well."

"Pat?"

Oh, him? He got his lay off notice yesterday. Apparently, he pulled up all the carpet in his office and made a rabbit suit out of it. Stupid chinless fucker.

"I'm sure he keeps it in the briefcase, Gordon."