Feelin' Groovy
If you're like me, you often find yourself thinking, Why doesn't Huckapoo get the media attention they deserve? Sure there's the ocassional hack job in New York Magazine, Newsday, or The New York Times, but what about the mainstream press?
Well now the Huckamarch to world dominance continues with a major article in The Hamburg Area Item spotlighting hometown hottie Groovy Tuesday, known to her Hamburg area friends as Jordan Price.
What do we learn from this story? Oh, I'm so glad you asked.
• You'll recall that when this site first became aware of the Huckapoochies, Groovy's One True Name remained a mystery longer than those of the other girls. At the time I speculated that, based on the law of averages, it was probably some variation of Brittany. Silly me. It's actually Groovy's older sister who got saddled with that name. Meanwhile, her brother is supposedly called Tanner and the family dog is Paisley. Almost makes you wonder if Mr. & Mrs. Price weren't trying to assemble their own teen pop band from the start. You also have to wonder if the Price elders are somehow ashamed of their deeply untrendy names, Mitch and Tracy (N.B., Brittney "Angel Sparks" Segal's dad is also named Mitch; There's some cloning going on here, isn't there?)
• "Huckapoo has recorded 26 songs." And that's just this week! Watch your back, Oberst.
• Quote: "I’m not completely hippie." Whew!
• "Daily rehearsals can include anything from costume fittings and hair appointments to photo shoots and lengthy mixing sessions in the recording studio." As long as they don't waste any time on singing and dancing! You don't want to lose your natural innocence, girls.
• "However, every night Price returns home to her family, sleeps in her own bed like an average teenager." Somebody's off her talking points. Every other interview (mine included) stressed the frequent sleepovers at the other girls' homes. And the pillowfights. Ok, I made up that detail.
• Brittany Price quote: "I get sick of hearing about Huckapoo!" Fucking tell me about it!
• Slightly out of context to make it seem funnier quote: "You have to know some fancy people to get anywhere in this business. And we have to move fast."
• "Jordan practiced her dance routine in the family living room - fast paced choreography that turns Price into a jingling tornado. The year of rehearsals is apparent, although her sister says that Jordan prefers to hide out in her bedroom when she practices at home." That brings us to the matter of the photo that goes with this story. I'm not trying to tell the photographer of the Hamburg Area Item how to do his or her job, but it seems to me that for a story about a teenage girl in a pop group, you'd want her to pose in her bedroom, surrounded by her Hanson and Eminem posters (yes, those are J.P.'s faves, at least as of October), not in the family living room, surrounded by her parents tacky walnut-and-brass media cabinet, faux antique globe, nutcracker collection (I don't care if it is Christmas) and -- what the hell is that little gray thing? A Vladimir Putin nesting doll? Didn't I see this room in Obscene Interiors?
Um, you don't think Jordan's parents read this site, do you? What? They do? Oops. Well, since I've already offended Mr. & Mrs. Price, I guess it can't hurt to go ahead and point out that your daughter has a smokin' ass.
Pity about the Uggs.
[Update: Too mean? Read my plea in the comments.]
Comments
Yay Jordan! :)
Posted by: Alexa | February 3, 2005 8:25 PM
yes, her ass is very smokin ;)
Posted by: megan | February 3, 2005 8:30 PM
I've seen better.
Posted by: Francis | February 4, 2005 10:17 AM
It's a crying shame how your jealousy of Jordan's family and home make you such a disrespectful person that you have to make fun of what was said about her in the article. Your mother and father obviously didn't teach you manners or respect.. what does your mom and dad's house look like? HHmmm.. I bet I can guess.. it wasn't what you wished it was! What are your brothers and sisters names.. or are you a spoiled only child that has grave inner issues about your childhood? Sounds it to me.. I think you need to seek professional help for your desires to cut down those that have what you don't, but wish you did... Haven't you ever heard the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it".. you should really take my advice, because I and many others think Jordan is a very lucky girl to live in a home filled with love and simple sentimental values.. sorry you can't see it.. what did you expect? A mansion in Hollywood? But even then you would have found something to make fun of that too, wouldn't you have? Just cause you're a loser yourself! Don't take it out on Jordan and her family cause she's luckier than you. There's always people that have more than you and those that have less than you..it's people like you that will never be happy.. cause you're not happy with yourself.. grow up.. or at least shut up.
Posted by: Kathy | February 4, 2005 11:28 AM
Kathy, how or where did Daniel say that he's jealous of Jordans family and or home?
Posted by: Alexa | February 4, 2005 11:32 AM
Well, thanks, Alexa, but you see, Kathy's point was that she can tell my comments must stem from jealousy or deep-seeded psychological problems, because obviously there is no other reason that a person might make fun of someone else's interior decorating. You know those Queer Eye guys? Jealous sociopaths, every single one!
I'm sure I shouldn't need to spell this out for smart folks like the Huckapoo girls themselves (who after all told me they are looking forward gleefully to getting mocked by Eminem or SNL), but for Kathy's benefit: 1) It is NOT the love and values I dislike, it is the furniture. 2) I am joking. It is an old technique they call "exaggerating for comic effect." I actually don't really care at all how the Price's decorate their home -- not even slightly -- and I also say things on my HUMOROUS BLOG that I would not say, or even think, in real life.
Except about that racist bastard Johnny Carson.
Posted by: radosh | February 4, 2005 11:50 AM
Actually not so much the furniture as the Longaberger baskets. Did I mention the baskets?
Posted by: radosh | February 4, 2005 11:59 AM
Baskets? God, you are such a pervert.
Posted by: Francis | February 4, 2005 2:08 PM
It is also amazing how one is able to figure out a persons "psychological problems" by just reading blogs about oh, I dont know, Huckapoo?
Posted by: Alexa | February 4, 2005 3:15 PM
I can't even begin to say how DISGUSTED I am by your comments, you JACKASS. I know the Price family. First, they have a lovely home ... probably much nicer than the hole you apparently pulled yourself out of ... where you and maybe your other pervert friends live. Second, Jordan works extremely hard at what she does ... and despite her obvious talent, is a very grounded young lady. Third, she's a very young girl ... keep your eyes off her ass ... as if she'd even look at your pathetic self anyway! Seriously, find something better to pick on ... sounds like SOMEONE is a little jealous!!!! You go Jordan
Posted by: Tracey T, Hamburg PA | February 6, 2005 9:04 PM
Crikey! People haven't been this upset at me since that lady threatened to break my kneecaps for calling PJ a skank. Are they right?
As you know, after I met the Huckapoo girls and found them to be sweet, sensitive and, sure, grounded kids, I made a promise to stop saying cruel things about them (while reserving the right to make trenchent comments about Huckapoo as a brand and the manufactured pop band business in general). Did I break my word this time?
Frankly, I felt pretty comfortable writing this, because 1) I didn't say anything mean or personal about Jordan, 2) The mean stuff I did say was about her family's home furnishings, which did not strike me as one of those sacred subjects in life, 3) these remarks were relevent because my real target was not the furniture but the photograph. Despite my obviously (I thought) over-the-top outrage, the Price home decor wouldn't even have caught my eye in any other context. My point was that it was funny to illustrate a story about a rising bubblegum pop star by posing her in her very un-bubblegum pop family den.
So what's the verdict, Huckafans? Are Tracey & Kathy overreacting, or did I cross a line I had promised to respect?
Posted by: radosh | February 7, 2005 9:49 AM
I think people just have too much time on their hands and have nothing better to do than to complain. You know how much of a Huckapoo fan I am and I don't mind our articles one bit. They're a lot of fun to read, actually. I'm always checking the site for updates :)
Posted by: Alexa | February 7, 2005 10:50 AM
Comments about room decorations that were not chosen personally by any member of Huckapoo are perfectly fair, I believe. And far from criticizing...um, which Hucka is this?...Jordan, in fact, you compliment her on her ass. You are clearly holding up your end of the bargain.
Posted by: Francis | February 7, 2005 3:38 PM
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, I always say.
However, this philosophy pretty much rules out a career in birthday clowning.
Posted by: drew | February 7, 2005 3:42 PM
Normally I wouldn't sweat going too far and accidentally insulting someone, but because I did specifically promise the Huckachicks that I wouldn't do it again, it's a matter of personal integrity.
Which is why I'm relieved to say that a reliable source has told me... well, it's off the record, but apparently I needn't have worried.
I can't speak for my other pervert friends, though.
Posted by: radosh | February 7, 2005 3:56 PM
Overreacting. But then again, they're likely teenagers- that's normal. I can't remember a teenaged moment that wasn't either full speed or full stop. Something in the hormones.
Posted by: Michael | February 7, 2005 5:25 PM