January 27, 2005

What the fuck do you mean, 'spicy'?


Welcome, 6 to 12-year-old Long Island girls! There's an amusing item in today's Newsday that's likely to bring some atypical visitors to this site:

Holy Huckapoo!

When Huckapoo, our own homegrown Spice Girls, appeared in this paper last week, a reader wrote in asking whether the band has a Web site. Yes, and guess what it is? That's right, www,huckapoo.com. There are fan sites as well, including www.huckapoo.mind-games.org.

The oddest one, though, is www.radosh.net, run by Daniel Radosh, author of a recent Huckapoo article for New York magazine. Warning to readers: Some of Radosh's comments are a tad, er, spicy. And a warning to Radosh: The girls' parents read your site.

As thrilling as this is, anyone coming here looking for a Huckapoo fan site is likely to be confused, since most of what I write involves serious issues such as Social Security, the use of torture in the war on terror, and the acting and singing talents of Miss Lindsay Lohan.

But it's true that I have also written a ton of stuff about Huckapoo. For some spicy highlights, click "More."

August 11, 2004. In which your hero becomes aware of the existence of five lovely lasses with improbable names, ill-advisedly uses the word "skanks" (which he will rapidly come to regret and not just because a friend of the girls threatens to break his knees with a baseball bat), and gets accused of being, along with his readers, "a bunch of fucking gay homosexuals that are fucking old as hell and have no fukcing lives."

August 17, 2004. In which secrets (and one adorable photo) of the girls' pasts are revealed, a teenage boy's web site is killed, and we meet a Huckapoo runner-up.

August 19, 2004. In which the terrifying scope of Huckapoo's ambitions slowly becomes clear.

August 29, 2004. In which the MSM once again plays catch-up with the blogosphere.

September 23, 2004. In which the ambition, and the terror, increases, and your hero says something really mean -- again!

November 20, 2004. In which is heard a brief clip of the original folk-rock version of a Huckapoo hit.

November 29, 2004. In which your hero introduces Huckapoo to bemused Upper East Siders, apologizes to the girls (and their parents) for earlier unfortunate comments, and promises to observe the Geneva Conventions against cruel and unusual mockery in all his future posts.

December 10, 2004. In which Huckapoo -- or should I say Huckajew? -- is revealed to be a plot to turn pure American girls into filthy race-mixing whores (and not in the good way).

Again, that's just the highlights. For an index to the complete Huckapoo posts on Radosh.net, click here.

I will also restate my offer to answer any and all questions posted in the comments section about Huckapoo, as I am still brimming with trivia I was unable to use in my New York article, and it must come out or I will explode.

Posted by Daniel Radosh


Are the parents of Huckapoo members of a crime family (mobsters) because that Newsday writer seemed to imply it. What else would a warning be for?

Looks like they're putting on weight ;) Maybe they need to go on a huckadiet?

In a "ticking bomb" scenario, would Huckapoo advocate the use of torture? Does Huckapoo support the creation of private accounts to boost social security revenues, or would they prefer some sort of means testing? How does Huckaboo feel about the proposal to use the so-called "nuclear option" in order to force a vote on Bush's ultra-conservative judicial nominees?

Drew -- thank you for taking me up on my offer to answer any and all questions about Huckapoo. I have consulted my notes and found 1) Huckapoo does not consider the playing of any of their songs at loud volume to be tantamount to torture, with the possible exception of their Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cover. 2) Huckapoo is "about me and you," which would seem to imply some enthusiasm for individual accounts within the context of a broad-based safety net. However, as Huckapoo plans to never age, the question is of little interest to them. 3) Huckapoo will defer this question to Prussian Blue, for obvious reasons.

And a warning to Radosh: The girls' parents read your site.

Oh, man, you are in for it now! I hope you have deleted that long, rambling essay on which Huckapoo girl would be most likely to submit to which deviant sex positions.


Whew. It's OK, you obviously have.

I just want to put a plug in for Smoosh, a duo that is not only younger than Huckapoo, but plays their own instruments and totally rocks. Half of their CD is actually listenable.

Hahaha I had someone email me a scan of this article. Well, at least we're both getting even more hits.

Drew left out one important question: What do the members of Huckapoo thing about Lindsay Lohan? Please tell me they don't take Hillary Duff's side in the feud.

1) To the other Daniel (just so the girls don't think I said that horrible thing about them): they're just wearing baggy sweats. Trust me, they're all pretty fit.

2) Jesse: I somehow never got around to asking that particular question, but I can tell you this: These girls are NICE. I mean, really, really pleasant. Terminally friendly. It can drive you up the friggin' wall. So my educated guess is that they would decline to take sides, saying both girls seem pretty cool as far as they can tell. Then they'd thank you for asking.


Death match: Smoosh vs. Prussian Blue. It's gotta happen.

Doesn't matter has to be a Prussian Blue fan, because Huckapoo fans are too sweet and nice to use profanity, me thinks. She just forgot to Heil Hitler.

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