With Huckapoo, my ghostly father? no; I have forgot that name, and that name's woe.
Fans of talentless yet perversely alluring, not even close to legal pop tarts, hang on to your ever-lovin' hats. Perhaps you'll recall my recent discovery of a yahoo named Badonicus (which is also, coincidentally, the Harry Potter spell for putting something bad on top of something else), who was convinced that Huckapoo is actually a Jewish plot to turn good Christian girls into "racemixing dykes and sluts" (which he apparently thinks is a bad thing).
Since I know you didn't get to the end of that post, you missed the comments section in which the po' wittle wacists actually complain about being the subject of ad hominem attacks from (presumably) Radosh.net readers (thanks, I guess, but really, why bother?). The first comment, though, is from a genuine Bigdickus fan, who writes, "You realize of course what the next step is for the Christian culture reclamation? To make a Christian Huckapoo facsimilie!"
I know what you're thinking: Don't we already have Jump5? But you have to remember that when these dudes say "Christian" they don't mean the wimpy kind of Christians who just worship Christ and try to convince everybody else to worship Christ also they mean Christian as in, pure-blood, White Power-preaching Aryans. Oh sure, some people might find Vanilla Ninja all the Aryan they can stomach, but everyone else, meet your new sick crush: Prussian Blue.
Reasons Prussian Blue may just be even better than Huckapoo:
1. Younger! These 12-year-old vixens make Groovy Tuesday look like Cher.
Identical twins! In six years, hello incest-themed beer commercial!
3. Even more convincing porn star names, actually given to them by their mother! Say sieg heil to Lynx and Lamb!
4. Most importantly, of course, these adorable little moppets are HARDCORE RACISTS!
Now you're probably starting to worry am I going to be blogging obsessively about these amazing new superstars. That's the beauty part. I don't have to, because somebody else already is. I was turned on to Crushin' Blue by the proprietors of the fabulous Prussian Blue Blog, your #1 source for all things young,
identical really very similar looking, off-key, and brimming with hatred for non-whites.
There's not much yet on the official Prussian Blueballs site, but they've been interviewed in Vice and were the subject of a BBC profile by my old friend Louis Theroux. "And if you think this isnít all about sex, sex, sex, and turning our little girls into sluts, think again." Nexis turned up a print version of Louis' show
(not on the Web, sorry) in which Lynxx and Lamb's mother/Svengali/pimp April Gaede makes it very clear that what her progeny's hook is: "They're going to show how being proud of your race is something that would be very appealing... Especially as they get a bit older. I mean, what red-blooded American boy isn't going to find two blonde twins, 16 years old, singing about pride in your race Very few of them are not going to find that very appealing." Especially if they make out while doing it! C'mon, girls, don't be shy! It's for the Cause.
This brings up another reason Prussian Blue may be better than Huckapoo:
5. I'm never, ever going to feel guilty about ridiculing them mercilessly.
Update: I was trying to help out Lamb and Lynxxx by writing a theme song for them, modeled after Huckapoo World, but I didn't get any farther than an opening line for the chorus: Prussian Blue/ It's about killing Jews...
Update: The complete PB posts.