August 11, 2004

Hit me baby five more times


When the New York Times ran an article about Camplified — a concert tour in which pop-tarts in training up their Q scores by performing at summer camps — my first reaction was the same as any worthwhile blogger's: hey, those 14-year-old Spice Girl wannabes are kinda cute.

So I did a little Googling, and here's why Huckapoo is now officially my new favorite band:

1. Huckapoo! OMG is that the worst band name ever, or what? Maybe it would work for punksters who want to evoke the sound of coughing up phlegm plus a turd in a name that could be a rejected Sid and Marty Krofft character (but is actually an item of clothing from two decades before the target audience was born). But for Disney ditzes? It's just so, eww. Love it!

2. When the band first appeared on the radar of Village Voice writer Metal Mike Saunders, he couldn't even confirm that they existed. "Nada, nyet, and zippo. Nowhere in the entire vast Internet world does an image or even written copy exist to definitively link the great track by 'Huckapoo' (produced by "The Center") to its writers or producers by name, or to any other living beings. Truly, moments like these give me the inner strength to endure auteur crap like Elvis Costello or the last 197 Neil Young albums."

3. The great track he's talking about is, if not great, better than one might hope — like a slumber party of would be Alanises (Alani?) having a pillowfight with Hillary Duff. (Warning link will cause song to start playing, potentially drawing stares from co-workers who want to know what the awesomeness is). Some of their other songs are even better in my opinion, though others are much, much worse.

4. The band's official Web site doesn't show up on a Google search until result #207, and then the listing is just the URL, no description, nada, nyet, zippo. It's like one of those hip clubs with no name on the door (hey, there's a hot trend for the Times to cover). [Update: No longer true, obvs].

5. And yet, oh, what a Web site! Warning: music will start playing when you open this. And not just any music, but the Huckapoo theme song, which is like The Partridge Family theme song — only retarded. ("Huckapoo/It's about me and you/You gotta sing your own melody/Be who you wanna be"). Oddly, the theme song is so different from the rest of the Hucksters' material that I'm not even sure it isn't a different band. So let's call the song reason #5 and see what else is on the site...

6. Instead of photos on the front page, we get anime-inspired big-eyed drawings of the girls — yep, like Wonkette, but without all that ironic winking. Or politics. Or ass-fucking, presumably.


7. The drawings are cuter than the actual girls. I mean, they did look comely enough in those candid shots in the Times, but in their publicity photos — and I hate to say this about 14-year-old girls (as opposed to, you know, saying that 14-year-old girls are hot) — they're pretty much skanks (and not in the good way). [Update: That was unnecessarily harsh. While it's true that the publicity shots are pretty gross, the site now has more candid pictures in which all the girls look like pretty ordinary young teenagers (in the good way).]

8. Actually, one of them has potential.

9. Let's go back to the front page again for a sec. Dig that disco logo, right? I mean, say what you want about Modest Mouse, but do they have a logo like that?

10. Each of the girls has a name and a gimmick so wildly implausible and phony it makes the Spice Girl's nicknames seem positively un-focus grouped. In descending order of adorableness, meet: Groovy Tuesday, the hippie; Angel Sparks, the metal head; Twiggy Stardom, the preppie; Joey Thunders, the punk; and PJ Bardot, the gangsta. You gotta see 'em to believe 'em. It's like your niece's bat mitzvah dress-up party.

11. Ultimately, it's all about the music. Here are some of the themes addressed in Huckapoo's songs (all available on the site, not that they have any albums to buy if you wanted to).
a. being true to yourself
b. not being understood by all those shallow people
c. crashing your older sister's party (sadly, song ends before verse about getting felt up by older sister's drunk boyfriend)
d. first love
e. your boyfriend getting caught with his ex at the mall
f. freaking out and blowing it when a boy says he loves you
g. having a crush
h. some guy

12. The above constitutes, as far as I can tell, the band's entire discography. [Update: they now have at least 10 more songs!]

Oh, who am I kidding? The music is irredemably crappy [Update: Aargh! Perfectly has grown on me!] . And this is from someone with a desperately low threshold. But mark my words, Huckapoo is gonna blow sky high. Assuming MTV VJs can learn to say "Huckapoo" without cracking up.

[Update: Read the complete Huckapoo posts here.]

Posted by Daniel Radosh


So, what's up with the pornstar-esque fake names, anyway?

oh baby, why didnt my mom and dad ever send me to camp....

Does that t-shirt actually say "trousersnake" on it? I'm torn between getting one for myself, or forever banning any child of mine from wearing one!

It says Silver Snake. You sick bastard.

so fucking hot i wanna do u baby in the ass

the one on the left went to my school... she looks better in person.

youre a bunch of fucking gay homosexuals that are fucking old as hell and have no fukcing lives why are you looking at young girls its fucking jail bait get a fucking life you gay fags

the one second in from the right.... shes a bitch, and knows little about acting and singing. there for shes on disney. i used to go to acting school with the girl and she thought she was the shit, which everyone knew she was not. and here she is ... a want to be spice girl. haha - funny shit

the girl on the right, she used to go to my school, shes ok. Shes actually really smart, i dont know why shes doing this.



Thats crazy...brit goes to my school...at least she used to dont see her around any more...dumb as a brick, but its not brains they're selling, is it?


When I first found out about them, I couldn't stop laughing

Also, if they were homos, then why would they be interested in girls?

Typing in all caps is lame


i actually like huckapoo. i think they're adorable, one of them especially hot and i think that all they need to do is mature a little (voice wise) and they'll be set. they have great dance moves, claudia's obviously a dancing god, and their songs are adorable. they're 14, do you retards expect them to be singing about sucking dick? i think not...........

huckapoo is so stupid. there is only one member that has some singing talent and the rest are all talentless. and the way they dress? hello, they're fourteen do you really walk around with a fur vest and a sports bra? i think not. one of the girls claims to be from the "west side", but i bet you didn't know she's from CT. LMFAO what posers. i hate them.

hahah omfg huckapoo came to my school for like a lulapalooza for schools or some shit like that and they werre soooo bad......haha they pretend to be like a punk and a preppy and wow a 14 year old blonde haired girl is definetly not gansta! when she tried to rap and all u hear is her high-pitched squeeky voice it totally ruins it....the only one who can sing is the hippie one

huckapoo came to my school in ct and i thought they were awesome. Come on do u expect them to sing like some pro singer or something they sure do have potential and not to mention they are hot. Brooke Mori(PJ BARDOT) IS AWESOME. GO HUCKAPOO!! i want to go to birdgeport to hang out with her

yo ya'll gotta get lives! Jordan (AKA GROOVY TUESDAY) went to my school b/4 Huckapoo got big... If her sister heard what ya'll been saying she'd be HUCKAPISSED! So yea... ya'll just HUCKAJEALOUS!



Angel Sparks used to go to my school in NY. They are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good at singing! I am a big fan!!!!! They came to perform at my school today it was awesome!

Brit , Brit , brokkie , lindz and jo.

who ever made this website is fucked up.... got a lil jellous or somthen... wow. just bc they have more talant than some one who can make a website.. gheese...

I love the huckapoos.....


i found out about huckapoo 2 weeks ago. i must say i am not impressed. it is not them its that former dreamstreet manager of theirs. their just makin money man and money is tight. excuse me... huckatight. although they are young and being exploited they will have fans from 8-16 to old fat guy in a dark room with his pants down. it is sad but if i were in the same situation and people were talking this much about me good or bad, id say im pretty famous.

im huckaout ;)

I agree with you the way you view the issue. I remember Jack London once said everything positive has a negative side; everything negative has positive side. It is also interesting to see different viewpoints & learn useful things in the discussion.

Um... huckapoo. Odd. My friend, an avid fan of the recently-broken-up Play, told me about them. I must say they scare me to death. All upbeat and stuff. I think that Groovy Tuesday person is the only one who has a bit of talent... Their manager is a piece of crap. He talks about them like they're his paper dolls and lies to them ('Oh, huckapoo is Swahili for all things great and cute and sugary. Kay, let's make Disney jealous, girls! FLAUNT IT!')... Yeah. Jerk. at least he admitted they represent seperate styles and they don't try to be something they're not...
Ha. 8-16 years old to an old fat guy with his pants down. Yep, this is like future Britneys times 5 with more naiveness.

yo.....ya'll betta shut up, huckapoo is the shit! jordan you're the best...and whoever said that none of them cant sing...i got one question for ya....R U HIGH!?!? they r gonna make it big...mark my words right now...all u ppl that r puttin them down r gonna eat those words....good luck girls...love ya'll

hahahahahahahhahhahaha. fuck.

i have a mixed opinion about Huckapoo. The name kinda sucks, even the dreamstreet guy said so, but its ok i guess. I agree with all of you who say groovy tuesday (i guess jordan?) has some real talent. The other girls are good too i think. Most of the songs are a little too, um whats the word? peppy for me. but i like some of them. i might get the CD when it comes out if i have any xtra cash.

:P grey

and for all the dullheads who are like "there like posers, what the crap?" did you realise that they are just playing a part in the group? its not actually who they ARE (i think)

o yeah, sum of the crap you guys wrote was funny...like that 40 yr old in the dark...HILARIOUS

ok the name sucks my dick
ur manager should burn in hell
he is a jerk
the old fat guys in the dark have no fucking life
pj u r not gangsta if u walk around the street dressed like som high bitch u will get shot!
man have some sense ppl!
man if my mother saw u she would slap the hell out of u u are a fucking retarded ass!(man a sports braw ur as flat as a bord)and all u other huckapoos except groovy UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

get some fucking sense into ur fucking mminds u smell like shit u r shit go fuck urself and the gangster theres a person in my class that is just like u geuss what i hate her. g roovy u r awesome ur voice is cool those 2 messages above mine r my bro and sis

angelsparks=Hot dude she is on fire hot stage name huckapoo is a pretty wierd name but I'm not a butthole like everyone else

I have never Even heard them are they good I ain't no yankee I live down south trousersnake is probably what it says after all she could have mine

No offense to Huckapoo, but I don't think anyone likes them And Iwas the last person on here and that was in february

No offense to you Matthew, but this is a blog, not a MySpace homepage. This particular post was written in August 2004, so I have no idea why ANYONE is still commenting on it almost two years later. Use the search box on this page and you can find plenty of more recent Huckapoo news. Or commentary on Iraq. Whatever does it for you.

None of which is to say that anybody does like Huckapoo, however.

okay first, all of your people who are like FUCK YOU HUCKAPOO IS THE BEST go fuck yourselves people can have their own fucking opinion on what ever the hell they want.
Brooke Mori is the BIGGEST bitch ever she is from Westport CT (a.k.a. richbitchport) i went to school with her and she was the fakest person ever. she would stabb you in the back so quick it is rediculus i didnt know a pre-teen/teenage girl could be so evil. She was mean to everyone and didnt respect a damn thing or anyone
That little bitch loves to walk over people and they must be BAITHING her in make up because she was the ugliest thing coming and goning and she does not look like her picture
i can't say anything bad about the other girls cause i dont know them and i dont listen to huckapoo. i just know Brooke.
OH and anyone who wants to think i am jealous.... why would i be jealous of a 16 year old girl pretending to be ghetto and singing songs about boys and secret crushes and doing work for DISNEY???

hi, i go to britts school aka angel sparks and i loveher

If the people in huckapoo actually look at this sight type hey and if anyone else comes on here give me your opinion because I really want to talk about this so called "Band"

i hate all the motherfuckers who think we suck we're 14 n 15 it aint like we prfect by motherfuckers

umm i just found this little site while i was looking for the huckapoo girls because there coming to where i live very soon! i think the comments on this site are ridiculous and just proof of how talented the girls actually are. whether or not anyone of them is stuck up, snotty, bitchy, or smart doesn't really matter does it? they still get up on stage and put on a great show which would be obvious to anyone of the assholes that commented something negative about them. AND the little creator of this list is quite hysterical... you call them skanks and then make fun of them for singing songs that are abnormally innocent for this day and age in music. I know first hand what these girls had to go through and what they're still going through now and trust me not one of you people would have the balls or dedication to get up and do what they do. And in regard to their names- if the spice girls had come out now they would be laughed at and criticized for their look and names but that's what happens in music-- society wants something different all the time.. they made more money then any of you will make in your entire life! The huckapoo girls are just as talented and just as potentially successful as they were - they just need to wait for the right time. Oh and for the little comment about not being jealous of someone who performs for DISNEY - that could be the funniest thing i've ever heard since disney is one of the most wealthy and successful companies in the world! Ok i'm done... good luck girls

angelsparks goes to my school nd shes not like she is in the band shes normal so stfu

the spice girls didnt pick their names...the media gave them to them.


how can I get an autograph from the huckapooŽs? If someone knows an autograph address and could give it to me (per mail or write in her) IŽll be very happy.

best regards



how can I get an autograph from the huckapooŽs? If someone knows an autograph address and could give it to me (per mail(borusseum@gmx.de) or write in her) IŽll be very happy.

best regards


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