Tina Fey stole my joke.
Daniel RadoshOr, just maybe, we're both shameless hacks.
Daniel Radosh, Esquire Dubious Achievements, Jan., 2003:
IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY, YOUR FLIGHT ATTENDANT WILL SERVE AS A FLOTATION DEVICE
The chairman of Hooters announced plans to start a Hooters airline
Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live, Mar. 8, 2003, 2003:
Thursday marked the first flight of Hooters Air, a low-cost airline that will feature young women in hot pants and tank tops serving snacks. And in the event of an emergency, the women can be used as flotation devices.
Anyway, at least now I know what I've been doing wrong: I could be on television if I just explained my premises in more detail.
Hack Update: Tim Carvell writes that his submission to the Dubies was: "In the Event of a Water Landing, Your Flight Attendant's Gargantuan, Surgically-Enhanced Breasts May Be Used as a Flotation Device." I'm sure Esquire would have gone with his version if they hadn't already filled their year's quota for the phrase, "Gargantuan, Surgically-Enhanced Breasts." Which is odd, since it was only the February issue.