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November 7, 2003

Mauvelous stuff at Francis Heaney's

Daniel Radosh

Mauvelous stuff at Francis Heaney's new blog

I just can't stop reading this page about Crayola colors through the years. I suppose everyone has a point at which their knowledge of crayon arcana slows down considerably, but I had no idea just how out of touch I was with the current slate of Crayolas.

I can get behind many of the colors introduced through the '90s, like 'Cranberry', 'Dandelion' and 'Granny Smith Apple'. (Oh, I guess I have a soft spot for representationalism after all.) But some of these things are just the most shoddily stitched-together portmanteaus. I mean, 'Mauvelous'? That is a travesty. And why can we not just call the banana-like color 'Banana'? Why is it called 'Banana Mania'? Are manic bananas a slightly different shade than their more restrained brethren?

And, you know, it always irks me when adults get really patronizing to children, and a color like 'Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown' seems like an example of that. I could get behind, say, 'Teddy Bear' as a color, but 'Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown' feels focus-grouped out the ass. And 'Brink Pink'? I mean...that rhymes, yes, but what the hell does it mean? And do not even get me started on 'Jazzyberry Jam'. Oh, I got myself started. 'Jazzyberry Jam'! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHH."

This man is made for blogging -- funny, eclectic interests, a good writer, and, most importantly, unemployed. I'm pretty sure if we start visiting regularly he'll get completely obsessed and post constantly.

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