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March 2, 2004

Maybe Martha Stewart should have tried this defense.

Daniel Radosh

From the Lincoln Journal Star:
Their killer jumps and lands with one foot on the counter before momentum carries him to the other side.

Jose Sandoval, making his first sworn statement since he was convicted of the Sept. 26, 2002, Norfolk bank shootings, is asked why he jumped the counter.

'Because somebody was talking shit,' Sandoval replies.

Madison County Attorney Joe Smith asks who.

'A Smurf.'

'A smirk?'

'A Smurf,' Sandoval repeats, as in the blue TV cartoon character.

'I take it from your answer you don't want to answer that question,' Smith says. 'Or is it really your testimony that a blue Smurf was in the bank?'

'That's what I said.'

The prosecutor tries once more: 'Did you jump the counter because you wanted to make sure everybody was dead?'

'No, I jumped the counter because the Smurf was talking shit,' Sandoval says.

I'll bet it was Papa Smurf. That sumbitch always looked just a little too smug behind his beard. [via Obscure Store.]

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